Three Reasons Why the ‘Baby Daddy’ Card at Target Does Not Offend Me – A Father’s Day Post…

Who that is?
That’s just my baby daddy
Who that is?
That’s just my baby daddy
Who that is?
That’s just my baby daddy
Who that is?
That’s just my baby daddy…

Hello World,

I remember when this song “My Baby Daddy” song came out over 20 years ago in 1997! Time flies. Time flies. I couldn’t believe it when I heard the lyrics to this song (as written above) blare from the radio. A dysfunction put to music. And at the same time the delivery of B-Rock & The Bizz was so hilarious I had no choice but to be entertained. In the song, a woman presumably tells her new man that the dude hanging around aine nobody, that’s just my baby daddy. In other words, we hooked up and produced a child sans marriage and the only relationship we have at this point is for the sake of our son or daughter. As distasteful as the message of the song was, I knew of many women who had baby daddies. The song was created because of real life circumstances which were true then and still are as of today unfortunately.

When this term was created, it was only cloistered within the confines black community but just like much of black culture, its appeal spread to the masses. I’ve heard people of all races refer to the term and we all know what it means. And the term baby mama was added to the mix as well. Remember Tina Fey’s 2008 movie “Baby Mama?” But we won’t go off on that tangent since Mother’s Day already gets most of the love and today is Father’s Day.

All that to say, why is Takeisha Saunders of Texas getting all indignant about a “Baby Daddy” card she spotted in Target on Facebook. Her post about the matter went viral. See a snippet below…


I mean I understand her indignation to some degree, but her anger is directed toward the wrong target figuratively and literally. So below are three reasons why Takeisha needs to take her anger and direct toward another target…

1.Target didn’t create this term which has been a popular term for at least 20 years at this point. Within many communities, having a “baby daddy” is what it is and this card would apropos to least acknowledge that fact. Who are we to judge if a woman wants to refer to the man who is the father of her children as a “baby daddy?” With my worldview, I do believe that within a stable marriage is the best environment in which a child could be conceived, but I know that ideals are not always actualized.

2. For some people, “baby daddy” is a term of endearment. I’ve heard women, married and unmarried, and of various races, refer to the father of their children as their “baby daddy.” Yes, I know for many this term refers to a pathology but for some, this term puts a fun spin on paternity. You know when you’re shopping in the card aisle and you can choose a funny or serious card to commemorate an occasion. For some, this is just one of those comical choices. Erethang aine for erebody. Choose accordingly. It is up to you. Takeisha should have just moved on to the next card in my opinion or reframed her response to what she saw.  Like I was indignant when I saw Steve Harvey’s new bacon line in Publix and posted about it on Facebook. I appreciate the man’s humor but his humor does not translate in him getting my bacon for his bacon. LOL. You can’t be a comedian, radio show host, talk show host, game show host, author, marriage counselor and bacon maker (although this translates into  major bacon for him) in my world. I must draw the line somewhere and that would be at pork at Publix, but I digress…LOL…

3. Father’s Day is barely recognized as it is. There I said it. Mother’s Day is heralded from here to heaven and back but Father’s Day is decidedly dimmer. Diamonds is an appropriate gift on Mother’s Day but some Dockers on sale at Target is acceptable for Father’s Day. They will take what they get. Why not have more options to take notice of a day that for some is pretty tricky?

Bottom line: Target’s “Baby Daddy” card choice is a reflection of the choices that some people have made. I don’t think Target should have pulled the “baby daddy” card for that reason. Takeisha, I understand where you’re coming from, but in the end God is the final and only judge who matters.

And just for comical relief, take in this video please! The Tricky Lake show, LOL

Is the “Baby Daddy” card at Target offensive to you?

Happy Father’s Day!



Soul Force: Seven Pivots toward Courage, Community, and Change – NEW BOOK ALERT!!!

Hello World,

Speaking of Father’s Day this Sunday, this will be the first Father’s Day that my father is celebrating as a retired pastor! As my father retired last December, sometimes I get worried that my father won’t have enough to do in his retirement. He says that I need not worry since he has always wanted to devote more time to his writing projects. Still, I asked him if he wouldn’t mind reviewing a book Soul Force: Seven Pivots toward Courage, Community, and Change by Reesheda Graham-Washington and Shawn Casselberry that I received Herald Press earlier this year. He obliged. So below is a brief book review by my father Dr. Denzil D. Holness.

If you are a community leader, a change-agent or an activist Soul Force is a book you must read, mark, study and digest. For in its pages, Reesheda Graham-Washington and Shawn Casselberry, drawing on their discoveries and rich experiences, have given you a timely resource on how to bring about positive changes both in yourself and in your community in seven key areas.

You will undoubtedly find this book very enlightening as it gives you a critical knowledge and understanding of the following seven key areas you will have to move from and pivot to: from fear to freedom, from barriers to bridge-building, from self-centeredness to solidarity, from hurt to hope, from consuming to creating, from charity to change and from maintenance to movement. Additionally, it will open your eyes to see what it implies to use your soul force to bring about positive changes both in yourself and in your community in the seven key areas you must pivot to.

Futhermore, you will find this book empowering. For it assures you that by tapping into your “soul force” – that creative power or energy within all of us – you can indeed overcome negative messages or lies that you are powerless to affect such personal and social changes.

Moreover, you will find this book challenging. By its “indicator of growth” and set of searching questions under each pivot area, this book is a serious call to self-examination and reflection. So it is an invitation to enter into an honest dialogue with yourself and others.

Finally, you will find this book inspiring. In addition to the growth indicators and set of searching questions, each pivot area also includes inspiring stories from the experiences of the authors and from several people who have tapped into their creative power to affect positive personal and societal changes. You too will be inspired by their honesty, vulnerability and courage to affect such changes.

Well-written and well-organized, Soul Force is indeed a timely and valuable resource for personal and social changes to community leaders, change agents and activists.

Below is more information about the authors:

New Book ‘Sex and the City and Us’ Celebrates 20th Anniversary of the Debut of ‘Sex and the City!’

Hello World,

Do you know what today is? It’s their anniversary…the 20th anniversary of the debut of the now iconic television show Sex and the City…yes, when we first met Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha! My love for the show has been documented in many posts on this blog since the show debuted on HBO Jun 6, 1998! And on today, its 20th anniversary, I must again pay homage to the show that was referred to as a “personal love letter to single women everywhere” and certainly helped me navigate my singlehood days…

Me on Carrie’s stoop when I visited NYC back in 2009!

As it turns out, I’m not the only one who wants to pay homage to the institution that was Sex and the City, journalist and author Jennifer Keishin Armstrong is also doing so in her new book Sex and the City and Us: How Four Single Women Changed the Way We Think, Live, and Love.”

By the bestselling author of Seinfeldia, a fascinating retrospective of the iconic and award-winning television series, Sex and the City, to coincide with the show’s twentieth anniversary.

When Candace Bushnell started writing her “Sex and the City” column for the New York Observer, she didn’t think anyone beyond the Upper East Side would care about her adventures among the Hamptons-hopping media elite. But her struggles with singlehood struck a chord, making her a citywide—and soon nationwide—sensation.

Beverly Hills, 90210 creator Darren Star brought Bushnell’s vision to an even wider audience when he adapted the column for an HBO series. His four main characters: Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha, forever branded the actresses that took on the roles, redefined women’s relationship to sex, and elevated the perception of singlehood. With their fashion-forward lifestyle, they launched a barrage of trends, from fabric flower accessories to Manolo Blahnik shoes to Cosmopolitan cocktails.

Read the rest of the description at…

And if you want to support Miranda, I mean Cynthia Nixon (the actress who portrayed Miranda) as she runs for governor of New York (yes, GOVERNOR) particularly as it is SATC’s 20th anniversary, head on over to!  

Finally, if you’ve never experienced Sex and the City, the vault of treasure that is this show will be opened up on Friday, June 8 on E! Following a special Sex and the City episode at 7 p.m., hold on for the Sex and the City 20th anniversary marathon of every episode ever starting at 7:30 p.m.!

And here is a scene from the last episode of SATC (Spoiler Alert. Don’t watch if you don’t want to know how it all ends…):

Any thoughts?