covet Archives - After the Altar Call

Hello World,

If you were shot in the back during your church’s New Year’s Eve Service like Tonia Barnes was while she worshiped at Macedonia Ministries in Jackson, Mississippi or called the “n-word” like six black friends who left a church’s New Year’s Eve Service to get something to eat at Shatila Lebanese Grill and Hookahat in Arlington, Texas were, your New Year may not be off to best start…Thankfully, Barnes has been released from the hospital and the waiter who referred to the friends as the “n-word” has been fired…Prayerfully, in spite of what happened on these people on New Year’s Eve, God will bring good even out of that…

As for my church’s New Year’s Eve Service otherwise known as Watch Night Service, all went well although I am struggling with what the pastor preached during the service…The pastor spoke on…

⁵Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

⁶So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me. Hebrews 13:5-6

If you know anything about me, one of my worst faults I have to admit is coveting…I’m a habitual coveter…In fact, one of my earliest posts “I’m Such a Hater aka I Sometimes Break the Ten Commandments” (I began coveting as a scrawny six year old…) is about this very word…I remember when my book was released in 2012 and I was working like crazy and God was blessing me with all kinds of opportunities, sometimes I still got discouraged because other authors seemed to moving be farther faster…In fact, I even called an author friend, and she told me that days earlier she had had a dream about someone running a race and the runner got off track because the runner kept looking at the other runners…She told her husband she wasn’t sure why she had that dream, but when I called her, she knew that dream was a message for me…Isn’t God awesome?! He knows this child of God (me 🙂 ) has got it bad when it comes to coveting…

So the next day, I reflected on and prayed about what these two verses mean, and I was led to this sermon “The Path that Leads to Contentment.” Marvin A. McMickle noted…

Covetousness and contentment. If ever there were two words placed within the same verse that seem to point in totally opposite directions, it is those words found in Hebrews 13:5. One word seems to imply a persistent and relentless pursuit for something more than one already has. Covetousness is a condition in which a person’s heart, mind and soul are preoccupied with getting and gaining more and more of the things of this world. At an even deeper level, to be covetous is to be so concerned with what someone has of possessions or abilities that we cannot be satisfied with whatever it is that we have.

Pointing in the opposite direction from covetousness is the word contentment. I do not know if you and I will ever reach this state in life, but the writer of Hebrews seems to suggest that it is an ideal state in which to live. To be content is to be satisfied with what you have. To be content is to be at peace with who you are. To be content is not to spend all day complaining about what is wrong in your life. To be content is not to mope around in self-pity because of what you have not achieved, or what you have not acquired, or what you have not attained.

To read the rest of the sermon, go to preaching.com.

So how do we go about making the best of our talents and being ambitious while being content at the same time?…How do we determine how are efforts are panning out if we’re not checking out the ~~competition~~ which often leads me to coveting? I’ve got more reflecting and praying to do….

Any thoughts?

Hello World!!!

It has been said that confession is good for the soul. And so in deference to that adage, I confess that I frequently covet…

My earliest remembrance of this destructive behavior in my life goes back to when I was about six years old. A single mother who worked nights lived next door to my family and me. In neighborly kindness, I guess, the single mother’s daughter, who shall go nameless, was allowed to stay over at our apartment each night. In the morning, her mother would come and get her. The girl was about a year younger than me and so we became fast friends.

But I quickly noticed that this girl had things that I didn’t have. She wore name name brand clothing for instance and had jewelry even. In my six-year-old mind, I deduced that the reason my parents didn’t lavish name brand clothing and jewelry on me was that there was three of us and they couldn’t afford to spend their money on such frivolties. And I also deduced that my friend’s mama only had to cover two people, and that’ s why her mama could spend that way. But I was still jealous…I would try to comfort myself by saying to myself, I bet she wishes she had a daddy and brothers like I do…And that sentiment would work for a while, but then I would find myself thinking of what she had and what I didn’t have again. It got so bad that sometimes I would be up at night worrying about it all…Can you believe it? I was just six years old! That is sooo terrible…My friend slept in my room with me and that made it worse. Sometimes I would get up in the middle of the night and quietly open the door so the hallway light shone in the room and I would peer at a ring on her finger. I don’t even remember what it looked like exactly, but I do remember it was sparkly and reminded me of one of my favorite fairytales – Cinderella.

Fast forward nearly 30 years and I still find myself dealing with this insidious habit. I remember when I was in 20s and I was making $10 a paycheck at my first journalism job. All of my friends were going on trips, getting fabulous apartments and starting investment clubs…With my meager earnings, I had to live at home, and the only trip I could afford was the trip to work and back. As far as investments were concerned, I tried to comfort myself with the knowledge that I was investing in my future by taking a job in my field and getting experience. But I was still seething on the inside…and sometimes the vitriol spilled out…My father gave me countless pep talks during this time…He assured me that “my time” was coming…And he reminded that I chose a field that often doesn’t yield large earnings- at least at the beginning of your career, and I had to accept that or go into a different field. And he also told me that God had a purpose for my life and as long as I was in His will, I was where I needed to be.

Lately I have found myself hating on other people’s blogs or their careers. Here is what I think sometimes – Why her blog got all those comments? I’m a good writer too. Or why did she get a book deal when her topic is hackneyed at best? I could write that story with one hand tied behind my back…Yes, it’s gets really ugly in my mind sometimes…A friend wisely told me maybe one of the reasons why my blog doesn’t get as many comments as others is because I am talking about religious topics and religion will never be as popular. That may be true, but one of my favorite blogs, a religious blog, gets scads of comments…how come my blog doesn’t? I swear I’m still six years old….

So by this time, I should be wrapping up now and telling you how I’ve overcome my haterism…I haven’t…but sometimes, I have moments of clarity after I have bitched and moaned about it to anyone that will listen…One particularly spiritual friend frequently states that I shouldn’t compare my insides to someone else’s outsides. What that means is that what someone has doesn’t necessarily equate to happiness. Over the years I have learned that is true. Sometimes I’ve been told to pray for the person that I resent. I’ve found that if I pray for the person to get everything I want in my life, I often find that I don’t feel as bad…And I recently discovered that some people want what I have. That makes me feel really good…I swear, I’m terrible, huh? And sometimes hate can be a good thing actually. Sometimes, it has propelled me to do things I wouldn’t ordinarily do…For instance, I can be smart about my money too…And sometimes the answer is to stop thinking about myself and think of how I can help others…Self obsession is a trap for sure…prayer is a good tool too…

Anyway, I don’t have all of the answers for sure, but I am REALLY interested in what you have to say. PLEASE post comments…or else…or else…I will talk about you to my friends, ha, ha (Y’all pray for me.)

Any thoughts?

P.S. Check out Canton Jones’ “Hater Day.”