How To Achieve Your Goals, Dreams & Resolutions in One Year…

dreams

Hello World,

It’s been a while since I’ve gotten really personal on this space but since it is a New Year, the time of the year that many of us reserve to reassess our personal and professional goals, dreams, resolutions, etc., I have decided to let you into my head…

I have LOTS of dreams, but two are most important to me….one is personal and one is professional and only God and my husband know all about them right now and they will remain that way for now…

However, back in 2008, I also had LOTS of dreams and similarly to what is going on in my life now, two of them – (one was personal and one was professional) surpassed the rest…As I shared in a previous post in 2013, but did not share then, “I wanted to meet and get married to the man God kept for me, and I wanted to be a published author.” In 2008, it seemed nothing I did got me any closer to my dreams, but as I look back, God was leading me to the realization of my dreams…I just couldn’t see it then…

So let me take you back to 2007-2008…I was 34 years old and had gotten reacquainted with a man I dated in college. We had a lot a fun when we dated in college but we just didn’t work out as a couple. However, we had kept in touch here and there over the years, and we decided to give it a try again. Being the storyteller that I am, it seemed like the perfect ending to a long and winding story. College fun turns into lasting love…But that is not what happened…For all of the things we had in common and all of the fun we still had, he was not a churchgoing Christian man and that was a deal breaker for me…He was not an atheist, but he just didn’t think it was necessary to go to church…Nothing I did, said or prayed changed that so we broke up, and I was heartbroken…

So I did what made sense for me to do right then…I turned my pain into profit and pitched an article to UPSCALE magazine about why black men don’t go to church…An editor liked and approved the idea, and I happily tracked down sources for the article…One of those sources was Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu, the author of book “Adam! Where Are You?: Why Most Black Men Don’t Go to Church” Now, here is where the story gets kinda spooky or super spiritual depending on how you look at it. I read his book before I interviewed him, and I was shocked to read one of the illustrations in his book about someone who was looking for a black man in church. This illustration featured a woman named Jackie who was 34 years old and had made all of the “right moves” but was still unable to meet the right churchgoing man…Hello, my name was (is) Jackie, I was 34 and I had felt I had made all of the “right moves” and still hadn’t met the churchgoing man of my dreams…I knew then that the interview was one of those pebbles that God throws down on your path to let you know that you are moving in the right direction…After I interviewed Dr. Kunjufu, I told him I was a lot like the “Jackie” in his book and even he was surprised that we shared some of the exact same qualities…In fact, he later e-mailed these words to me – “I enjoyed our interview, and I believe God has your husband waiting for you!” By the way, my article was published in the August 2008 issue of UPSCALE magazine…

upscale

Meanwhile, I also felt stalled in my professional life…I mean I had some wonderful things going on…I had secured freelance writing opportunities that made it possible for me not to have the traditional 9 to 5 gig and I was profoundly grateful, but I had wanted to be a published book author since I was a little girl…And it seemed that every door I tried to walk through to make it happen was eventually slammed in my face…In 2007, I had gone to a writers conference in Philadelphia and had attracted the attention of the senior acquisitions editor of my DREAM publishing company…He enthusiastically took my book proposal and promised he would be in touch soon…He kept his promise and within a couple of weeks, he e-mailed me…I thought it had to be good news because only good news comes that fast…but it wasn’t…He e-mailed these words to me – “I read over your book proposal, My Journey, but my marketing department tells me that this is a hard kind of book for them to sell nationally, and so I have to reject it. Sorry.” I bet he wasn’t as sorry as I was…I was salty about that…

But I also realized that if I had gotten the attention of the senior acquisitions editor, I had something to offer even if it wasn’t quite right yet…At that same conference, I had pitched my book “My Journey” (which is what the book was called then…What a boring title!) to someone else in the publishing industry, and I had used the words “after the altar call” in the pitch…She told me I should rename my book “After the Altar Call.” Also, at that same conference, I learned about having a “platform” and why every nonfiction author had to have one…By the following year, I decided I was going to be the next blogger who turned it into a book…After the Altar Call was born in September 2008…

It would take TWO MORE YEARS before these two dreams would come into fruition… By 2010, I had dated more men but those relationships hadn’t worked out either…But there was a guy at my church who I knew I had a crush on me, but he wasn’t my usual type so I never took him seriously…by then, I thought well, I will give him a chance…That guy revealed himself to be my husband in 2010…Also, after two years of blogging, it occurred to me that if my story and platform weren’t enough by themselves maybe I should include the stories and platforms of other women in a new book proposal for After the Altar Call: The Sisters’ Guide to Developing a Personal Relationship With God…That was the key that unlocked a door that had been previously slammed in my face…I secured a book deal that year…

So how do you achieve your goals, dreams & resolutions in one year?

Well, there is good news and bad news…In my experience, some of the best goals, dreams and resolutions can be achieved in one year, but it usually takes years to get there…But the good news is if you trust in God and in His timing, you will receive God’s best for you…It goes back to my favorite verse:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Any thoughts?

A NEW YEAR IS HERE…And what are you gonna do about it?

Hello World, valorieandnewhubby

I know I haven’t written about it yet, but I am well aware that God has blessed us to see a New Year – 2014...It takes me a month of prayer and meditation to discern what resolutions and or goals that God wants to help me reach for this year so I’m not quite ready to write a New Year’s Goals or Resolutions post yet…but I found this great blog post by (the recently married 🙂 Congrats!) Valorie Burton, a life coach and author, that I interviewed in my book “After the Altar Call: The Sisters’ Guide to Developing a Personal Relationship With God.” Enjoy….

“What is it finally time for you to do?” It’s a great question for the beginning of the year. Perhaps there is something you’ve been talking about doing, thinking about doing, even daydreaming about doing. And in 2014, it’s time to make a move! A few years ago, I discovered a scripture in Ecclesiastes 5:3 that inspires me whenever I get stuck in a rut of over-thinking my vision in a particular area of my life:

“A dream comes through much activity, but a fool is known by his many words.”

Whether your dream is related to your work, relationships, finances, health or spiritual life, it will only come to life when you take action! So what is it time for you to take action on? Consider these examples to help you identify what it’s time for you to take action on in 2014:

Your Work

– Is it time to change jobs? Change careers? Ask for a raise? Launch your own business? Take your existing business to a new level.

Your Relationships

– Is it time to move past fears or past heartbreaks so that you are healthy and ready for love in your life? Is it time to forgive a family member or friend against whom you’ve been holding a grudge? Is it time to carve out more time for the people you love? Is there a conversation that’s long overdue?

Your Finances

– Is it time to stop using those credit cards that you don’t pay in full every month? Is it time to set up an automatic debit from your checking into an investment account so that you can finally bring your savings goals to life this year? Is it time to take action towards getting more (and better) clients or customers? Is it time to stop spending money to impress others?

Your Health

– Is it finally time to get serious about exercising consistently? Or is it time to cut back on the sugar or fried foods, or add more vegetables to your diet?

Your Spiritual Life

– Is it time to trust God in a particular situation or area of your life? Do you finally need to find a “church home” that nourishes you in the way that you need to be nourished? Is it time to get serious about studying the Word?

Whatever it’s finally time for you to do, make a decision this week to do it. It’s not about creating a New Year’s resolution. It’s about making a shift and recognizing that the time has come for a change. If you ignore the need for a change when it’s time, you will find yourself increasingly frustrated with the situation. Often God will allow you to get frustrated so that you will finally become fed up enough to do something about it! Your dreams can come true, but your job is to take action! It begins with a decision and continues with each step you take forward.

It is essential not to begin the year by overwhelming yourself with multiple, large changes and goals. Get clear about what’s most important and focus your actions on it.

My challenge to you this week:

Identify the “thing” that it is finally time for you to do. Then take action!

Journaling assignment:

What has kept me from taking action on this particular circumstance or issue in the past? What will I need to do differently to make it easier for me to accomplish my goal? What is my goal in this area for 2014? Leave your comments below, I’d love to hear from you!

Last year, my major goal was to plan a beautiful engagement/wedding/honeymoon and start a wonderful new life with my husband, and God really blew me away…Thank you God! This year, my major career goal is to finish my first novel, etc. which I must confess is really challenging me…but I am working on it although I have the worst habit of taking on too many things at once and being a procrastinator at the same time…a deadly combo…So in the words of Valorie Burton, what is the “the ‘thing’ that it is finally time for you to do?”

Any thoughts?

Below is a video of Valorie Burton speaking about her latest book “Happy Women Live Better.”

To everything there is a season…Cherishing my 40th Birthday…

Hello World,

brideOne of my favorite passages in the Bible is Ecclesiastes 3 in which we are reminded that time is not arbitrary, there is a season for everything in God’s world…And now is my time to turn 40 years old…I thank God that He allowed me to reach this milestone in my life…I don’t like the idea of aging but such is life…aging is a blessing especially when you consider the alternative…

As I reflected about my life on my birthday (which was actually Sept. 7), I realized that some of my birthdays in years past were bittersweet…I was always grateful that God allowed me to live another year, but I was confused about why some of my oldest dreams had not come true…I remember when I wrote one of my most introspective posts “Hope. Wish.. Pray…” at the end of 2008, the year that I start my dear blog…Below is an excerpt…

For today, I have decided to hope, wish & pray that my dreams will come true…According to the Word, you are to “delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 When I first read this verse years ago, I thought it meant that God will give you whatever you want if you serve Him. I know that’s not true now.

Now I believe that if you come to know the Lord in an intimate way, He will guide you to your true desires – that is He will give you the desires He has for you. He will guide you to your God-given destiny. So over the years, God has shown me what are my false desires and what are my true desires.(I no longer desire to date a man from every continent, ha,ha, for instance.)  Anyway, two dreams or two desires remain…at least for today. Well, that’s not true. I have more than two dreams, but I am thinking of two in particular…(What dreams do you think I am referring to? Guess?)

I had two dreams that I desperately longed for but did not reveal in that post…I wanted to DSC_2854meet and get married to the man God kept for me, and I wanted to be a published author…And it seemed for a long, long, long time, no matter what I did those two dreams eluded me…I literally chased them and every time I thought I was getting closer, all of a sudden it felt all of my chasing was for naught…But I now know that I was on time all along, it just wasn’t my season…And FINALLY, God saw fit to bless me with the right man, and He blessed me to become a published author…So this is a new season in my life…I don’t know what awaits me, and I’m still hoping, wishing and praying for the best…I’m thinking about new dreams too…

Happy Birthday to Me 🙂

Any thoughts?

P.S. Since I moving on up in age, I decided to post Curtis Mayfield’s “Move On Up.” This captures how I’m feeling….