A year ago today, Robert and I said “I do” for better or for worse…and we have learned (and are learning y’all) lessons about each other and one another that you best believe is a testament to those vows we took…

Being married is like living with a two-way mirror. You see and learn things about yourself that you that you didn’t know before, and you see and learn things about your mate that you didn’t know before…Below are 7 lessons we have learned and are learning about each other and ourselves…for better or for worse…

1. I am a mass media/stimulation junkie – I have always been in love with mass media, but it wasn’t until I got married that I realized that not only do I love mass media, I also go to bed with it every night…Often I end up getting in bed before hubby does, and one of the things I like to do before bed is read…And not only one book…I’m talking about books and papers…And I have on the television. And I have on a night light. Drives hubby crazy. Every time he is ready for bed, I have to go through the ritual of clearing away all of my stuff from the bed, turning off the television, turning off the lights…I think when you’re single you find ways to not feel so alone when you live by yourself…Apparently, one of my favorite ways was to surround myself with books and papers and have the television and light going as well…

2. I cannot argue when I am sleepy – You must know that unless you are married to a robot, you and your hubby are bound to disagree and or argue from time to time…I know people say never go to bed angry, but I swear if I’m sleepy, I could really care less about arguing. I’m like let’s pick this up after I’ve slept for the night or at least had a nap!

3. My hubby is never really asleep- Funny that I’ve mostly posted about bedtime habits so far, but bedtime habits, I’ve found, are a big deal…Anywho, I can just look at my husband in the dark and he can wake up…I, on the other hand, can sleep through anything…

4. I like to be in charge – Maybe it’s because I’m the oldest of my parents’ three children or lived as single woman for years and years, but it has been so hard to learn that I don’t have to be or nor am I in charge of everything…In fact, right now, I’ve been thinking of how I can be a submissive (gasp) wife…Whenever I think of being submissive, I think of the woman that was supposed to be the wife of Prince Akeem in the movie “Coming to America.” One of the funniest moments in the movie was when he asked her what she liked. She bowed and then replied, “Whatever you like.” She was willing to obey him without question (He asked her to bar like a dog! ) and be more a servant instead of an equal partner…Can.do.it…Y’all pray for me..

5. My husband is very sensitive- I’ve always thought I was sensitive…I cry at movies. Even Publix holiday commercials do it for me sometimes…But I was wrong…My husband is so sensitive that usually doesn’t attend funerals because he doesn’t like to see people upset…It’s also the reason he is in the healthcare industry because likes to help people…My husband is so sensitive that I have to watch what I say or how I say it because he will be upset hours or sometimes days later about something I’ve said…Maybe it’s because I grew up with a feisty Jamaican mother who held nothing back, but to me hollering is as normal as drinking water…Once I’ve hollered something, I’ve gotten my feelings out and can move on…But I am learning (and not too well just yet) to not holler or come out my mouth with crazy stuff…

6. There will be a test. I’ve noticed that when people get married, something happens that first year that tests their commitment to one another. For some people, it’s the loss of a job and or a health challenge. We’ve had a test as well. I cannot share it all here but trust we’ve had one, and we are trying to get our answers right…But life is a series of tests anyway…

7. My husband is my ride or die…For all of the adjustments that we are making to live together happily ever after, it has been all worth it to learn that my hubby has my back…I can be insecure sometimes (okay, a lot) about my looks or my relationships with my girls, my dreams, etc., but my hubby is always on my side…And that’s not to say, he won’t check me when I’m dead wrong about something but ultimately, he demonstrates that he is on MY side…How I went through life before having this kind of support, I don’t know…

Any thoughts?

Note: This is the third in series of three posts I wrote about being married for a year as of TODAY To read my first post, go to  “Couples’ Night – Going From ‘Single Lady’ to ‘Smug Married’”… and my second post was “Cooking & Cleaning Oh My! – Going From ‘Single Lady’ to ‘Smug Married.’”

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