Hello World,

On Sunday, I read an interesting article in The New York Times entitled “It’s On Men to End Sexism in the Black Church” by Lawrence Ware, a minister in the Progressive National Baptist Convention. It intrigued me because much of what I read reminded me of the entire thrust of Season 3 of “Greenleaf.” (One of my favorite show titles from this season was “She Changes Everything.”) Lady Mae realized that she had forfeited her calling to ministry, folding herself into her husband’s calling like hers never mattered. During Season 3, she reclaimed her call to ministry which ignited a power play against her husband who struggled to see her as an independent force and not his appendage. And what compounds the dynamic is that Bishop was always able to see and acknowledge his daughter’s call to ministry but his former partner in life was treated in some respects like a pretty prop.

Below are a few excerpts from the opinion piece:

“When I was little, my favorite church services were when women took charge. This happened only a few times a year, on the fifth Sunday of a month. But it always meant that the spirit was high and the music was good. On one of those special Sundays, when I was 9, I first noticed something odd: The guest minister sat in regular pew seats, not in the seats at the front of the church reserved for the clergy. And she delivered the sermon from the lectern, a little wooden stand set apart from the congregation, not at the pastor’s sacred pulpit — the place whence God spoke.”

“If a young, unmarried woman got pregnant, the congregation would whisper about her until the child was born. When these young mothers returned after giving birth, many knelt at what was called a “mourner’s bench” after the sermon, to publicly apologize for indulging in sexual sins. To this day, I’ve never seen a man do the same.”

“For too many of my friends, even black men who identify as Christian, their awakening to the injustices women have long faced are linked to selfish concerns: namely, they must first have a daughter to hear what black women have been telling us all along. If that is what’s required for change, then too many men will continue to live in a way that does harm to women.”

If you attend a black church, have you witnessed sexism there? My church, a black church, is part of an association of mostly white Christian churches. As far as I know, women are not allowed to be pastors and or ministers at churches in this association. According to some, Scripture mandates this stance. “I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve.” 1 Timothy 2:12-13

However, female ministers are allowed to use the pulpit to speak at my church on various special occasions. And I love female pastors/ministers I must say! That is one of the reasons why I enjoyed OWN’s “Greenleaf” from the very beginning. I love that the show began with Grace struggling in her call to ministry.

Have you witnessed sexism at your church? Do you think women should be allowed to be pastors/ministers at churches?

Below is Ware’s final thought on the matter:

The black church would not exist without black women. However, for far too long, black men have forced them to be second-class citizens. It is time for black churches to do better. Not because it is popular right now, but because it is right.

Should Black Men Be Responsible for Ending Sexism in the Black Church? To read Ware’s entire article on the issue, go HERE.

Any thoughts?

The post Should Black Men Be Responsible for Ending Sexism in the Black Church? appeared first on After the Altar Call.

My ring atop my favorite Bible…

A man at one of the courthouses I go to for my job came up to me as 2011 came to a close and said, “As good as 2011 was for you, I hope that 2012 is even better.” As he said those optimistic words, my ears tingled because I believe that God was speaking prophetically through this man to me, and I was excited about what was to come. And indeed though 2011 was very good, 2012 was even better. Many of those reasons were highlighted in the post “12 Reasons I’m Thankful for 2012…,” which I wrote last month…

Who know that God would bless me with more in December? As December is the month that the world pauses to celebrate the birth of my Savior, it is one of my favorite times of the year, and I was content to celebrate it as I have for many years – pondering Emmanuel at church, scurrying around the malls of Atlanta hunting for the perfect gifts for family and friends and opening gifts around the tree…But on Christmas Eve, my boyfriend R. (now fiance’…Wow…) asked to marry me, and I said, “Yes.”

Stop the presses…

It’s funny how quickly life can change…In 2009, in one of my favorite posts “Hope. Wish.. Pray…” I wrote about two dreams that had been deferred no matter what I seemed to do, but I never revealed what those dreams were…Well, now I’m ready to reveal them…I wanted to be a published author, and I wanted to be in a relationship that led to marriage…And wonders of wonders…Here I am at the close of 2012 – engaged and published…

So what’s next…

Y’all pray for me, and pray for R. If you’ve read any of my relationship posts, y’all know that relationships have never been easy for me. Some women seem to be have been born knowing how to be coupled up…I am not one of them…In fact, if you want to get a better idea of the angst that I have felt around romantic relationships, these are just three of the blog posts that you have to read…

“Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Can’t Find a Man? THE DEBATE”

“Alert: Black Men Are Officially on the Endangered Species List and other useless propaganda…” (Also, two of those women in the video are now married. )

“So is the black church keeping black women single and lonely?”

We have not set a date…We’ve got a marriage and a wedding to plan…so that’s it and that’s all…

Any thoughts?

The post My Soul Looks Back in Wonder…Good-Bye 2012…(I’m Engaged!) appeared first on After the Altar Call.

Hello World!!!

I love me some black men! I will say it again: I love me some black men! Now before you think this is a post about dating, let me stop you right now! No, it isn’t. However, the subject of love and relationships may enter this post. But as much as I love the brothers, I feel like SOME of the brothers could do better in a few areas. Read on before you get mad.

I, like many other black Americans, am still grappling with the fact that the president-elect of the United States of America is a black man. (Yes, I know that he is officially biracial as many would like to note, but y’all know the deal…) And so, there must be a legion of lessons to glean from this most incredible moment in history.

What comes to mind at this moment is how President-Elect Barack Obama’s background mirrors the stories of many in the black community and he has still managed to make it to the highest office in the land. First of all, he is the product of a single parent household. I cannot vouch for other areas of the U.S., but in the A, many, if not most, of the black men I come across are the product of single parent households. Though my father is Jamaican, he is also the product of a single parent household. And by single parent, I’m talking about a single mother. At various forums and in personal conversations, I have heard and believe that growing up without your father, particularly for men, can really impede a person’s progress in a variety of areas. But with Barack’s example, I hope that black men who suffer from this deficit realize that they, too, can rise above their personal history and “jump at de sun.”

With Barack as an example, I hope that black men start to realize that marriage isn’t the kiss of death. According to a very vocal and dear friend of mine, she thinks there is some sort of disconnect when it comes to black men and marriage. She constantly tells me that in working in her profession, she has noticed that marriage for white men is like a rite of passage starting anywhere from age 25 or so and up. It’s just understood that an average white man will get married, and marriage is probably a rung on the ladder of success for him. For black men, she noted, marriage is like a hit or miss endeavor in which an average black woman has to engage in a game of “catch me if you can.”  Well black men, take a look at Barack, having Michelle at his side has definitely been an asset – don’t you agree?

And while we’re on the subject of our First Lady-Elect, Michelle Obama, I want to point out a gripe I’ve heard from black men. I was told very recently by a black man that part of the reason that black men sometimes don’t want to get married in the same way that white men get married is that black women tend to be unwilling to submit in a marriage whereas white women are more compliant. Umm, I don’t know for sure obviously, but I don’t think that Mrs. Obama is waiting for husband to get home so that she can say “whatever you like” like that woman in the movie, “Coming to America.” She may even be “running things” while making her huzzband feel like he’s really the one in charge. (Aside: If I were Michelle, I would go on up to my nearby flea market and order me a red baby doll T with words ‘Mrs. Commander-In-Chief’ printed on the front, but I digress, I digress.) Here’s the deal, due to slavery and other remnant societal conditions, black women have had to be more assertive and black men have been made to feel less than, but we can still do this. Yes, we can!

And let’s put this baby mama and baby daddy stuff behind us, if you big and bad enough to make a baby with somebody, be big and bad enough to stay with that somebody and create a family. (I know this is impossible and even unfavorable in some cases, but do your best.)  Being a part of an intact family is truly a beautiful though imperfect thing. Even at this age, it’s comforting to know that I can stop by our family home and that both my Mom and my Dad will be there to support and encourage me. Families are the fabric of this society, I am starting to learn. And don’t we have the most precious first family! (At least as of Jan. 20!) Sasha and Malia are sooo adorable! Every child deserves to have the covering of a mother and father!

I could say a tad more, but I’m sleepy!

Any thoughts?

P.S. This poem by one of my favorite poets, Nikki Giovanni, is a bit outdated, but I love its message. I love black men. Take a listen. Ms. Giovanni once sent me a card in which she complimented a poem I wrote about being stood up. I was in early ’20s. It really happened:)

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