Hello World,

DESTINATION WEDDING IS OUT TODAY!!! As the topic of Destination Wedding is love, romance and dating in the city of Atlanta (although the story is applicable to love, romance and dating wherever you are), I was thoroughly inspired by Sex and the City, which is about love, romance and dating in New York City. In fact, below is the first paragraph of the preface of my book.

In December 2009, after nearly seven years of preparing myself to meet THE ONE through prayer, self-help books, counseling, online dating, seminars, and on and on, I finally lost hope that he was even out there at all. I felt like Charlotte on my favorite single-girl television show of all time, Sex and the City, when she whined to her friends Carrie, Miranda, and Samantha, “I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted. Where is he?” before dropping her head, face first, onto the table in front of her. A relationship that I had dreamed of having years earlier finally happened—only to dissolve like a dream too good to be true within a couple of months. I was devastated and despondent. After swearing off my small library of self-help books on relationships that I had lovingly acquired over that nearly seven-year period and declaring that not a single dollar would be spent on another one, I concluded that God’s plan for my life did not include marriage and I would have to be okay with that.

So I wrote the preface at the beginning of this year. When I wrote that, it never occurred to me that I could seek an endorsement from Candace Bushnell, whose Sex and the City column led to the creation of the wildly successful HBO series of the same name! And I’m a major fan of Sex and the City! Just this summer, I attended a Sex and the City pop-up event at a local restaurant. But beside that, I have been on the Sex and the City bus tour in Manhattan, I have the Sex and the City trivia game, I have seen every episode of Sex and the City three times and more…

Well, at the beginning of September, I attended The Potter’s House in Dallas, Texas where Bishop T.D. Jakes preached a sermon entitled “Grasping the Moment,” and it really inspired me! Fast forward to the end of September! I attended a book signing event for Candace here in Atlanta. She was promoting her latest book Is There Still Sex in the City? Y’all, prior to the event, I wrote a letter asking for her endorsement and put it in a package along with an advance copy of my book. So when I got to the location of the signing, I contemplated sitting in the front row as I got there early and seats were available there. But this verse came to me: “But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all the other guests.” Luke 14:10. Y’all, I sat in the second row, and one of Candace‘s friends, who lives in Atlanta, just happened to sit in front of me in the first row. We got to talking. I told her about my book. She introduced me to Candace after the event. And it went from there. Check out a picture of us together (ABOVE) and the tweet she sent me after the event (BELOW)! Talk about grasping the moment! I wouldn’t have thought to do that if I hadn’t heard that sermon weeks earlier!

The post Candace Bushnell from ‘Sex and the City’ Has Endorsed ‘Destination Wedding,’ Which is Out TODAY!!! appeared first on After the Altar Call.

I am hesitating about writing this blog post because it is so deeply personal, but part of the reason that I love blogs is because it is a way to connect with others through shared revelations…So from time to time, I must reveal…So I’m jumping in the deep water today…Come save me if I go out too far…LOL…

Me at about 10 years old when the teasing started…

Since I was about 10 years old or so, I struggled with insecurities about my looks. My parents always made me feel loved and adored inside the cocoon of our nurturing home, but outside of those walls, I discovered it was a cold world. I don’t remember what boy or girl called me ugly first, but whoever said it first is of no consequence. Those words did what they were intended to do: make me question the beauty that I saw in the mirror.

A year or so later when I started to wear glasses, put on a few pounds and entered middle school, I retreated in the world of books where my favorite authors of the day like Judy Blume, Alice Walker and Brenda Wilkinson affirmed that while I may have been an ugly duckling then, one day the world would see the swan that I was on the inside. I remember trying to explain to my parents that people made fun of my looks at school to no avail. My mother and father believe I’m beautiful, and they just couldn’t fathom that others didn’t see what they saw. Plus, their Jamaican sensibilities didn’t permit a lot of whining and crying so I had to make sense of what was happening on my own.

I remember when I saw the ABC story “Teens Post ‘Am I Pretty or Ugly?’ Videos on YouTube” earlier this year. If YouTube had been in existence then, I would have probably uploaded one of these disturbing videos I was so hungry for outside positive affirmation. While I didn’t have YouTube, I did have Molly Ringwald, and  I identified with her characters in nearly all of her movies although I was a little black girl. I hoped desperately that high school would be different.

In some ways, high school was different. At the white middle school that I attended in Sandy Springs, I was thought to be on the chubby side, but at a black high school in College Park, I was Coke bottle fine. Still, there were a few people that managed to poke holes in my newfound but fragile confidence…As Vivian said in “Pretty Woman,” “The bad things are easier to believe. Haven’t you noticed that?!” And on some days, I could blame no one else than myself…I picked apart my looks feature by feature…

Me in the “Miss Jamaica Atlanta” pageant…

In college, after gaining and losing the Freshman 20 instead of Freshman 15 in my case and investing in contact lenses, I gathered enough confidence to enter the “Miss Jamaica Atlanta” competition. I didn’t win one of the top three spots, but I considered it a victory that I even put myself out there…I even wore a bathing suit…on stage…in front of people…Yikes…

Me fighting adult acne, but fearfully and wonderfully made…

I would like to say that now that I’m in my ’30s (one year from 40 to be exact…Wow,) I am no longer self-conscious and in complete mastery of my self-esteem, but on my worst days when my hair isn’t quite right or another gray hair shows up or I’m fighting adult acne(Wasn’t teen acne enough God?), I’m still that 10-year-old girl…Nevertheless, on my best days, I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made; I’m learning to know that full well (Psalm 139:14)…

Any thoughts?

P.S. One of my fave TLC songs for obvious reasons-

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