Tag Archives: Cinderella

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Planning & Stressing…

Hello World, 

This week has been an eventful one…in my mind…Between planning my (our) wedding and stressing about it, my emotional world can go from jubilation to desperation in seconds…I’m trying my best to not make this blog about all things wedding and marriage planning, but for the next few months or so, these two areas will be uppermost in my mind as we prepare to join two into one…

A few weeks ago, I was stressing about the high costs of weddings nowadays in “The Wedding Industry Heist aka maybe I should go in the wedding planning business” and now I’m trying to discern what vendors I need to choose outside of the costs…It can be incredibly stressful, and yet it can be so much fun putting together all of the details that comprise the wedding day you’ve always dreamed of…The funny thing about it all is that I’m not of one of those women that has EVER dreamed about a wedding day. I’ve always dreamed of having that perfect relationship/marriage for a lifetime, but the wedding day stuff seemed like it was just fairy tale fluff for annoying women that been have dreaming of being princesses since they read Cinderella.

But now that I have started planning it all, I have become a bridezilla, obsessed with making sure every detail is right and cost effective…LOL…After I finish my work/chores, etc. each night, I find myself spending hours on the Internet, trolling wedding websites like Black Bridal Bliss and The Bride’s Cafe…I’ve even stayed up for almost the whole night on more than one occasion as I have planned certain details…I’m trying to not beat myself up too much about it though because I tend to throw myself in various projects as I work toward a deadline…When I was planning for the release of my book a couple of years ago, I was pretty much the same way…However, this time, it is not a book, it is about a wedding day AND marriage…

Yes, so it’s not all about me anymore…It’s also about my fiance’ too….as we get closer and closer to the BIG DAY, I’m realizing that I really need to work on compromising…when you have been on your own and making decisions by your lonesome for decades, compromise is not something I have had to work on…I have been the head of my household and have proudly made ALL of the decisions. I have decided when I wake up. I have decided when I go to bed. If I don’t feel like cooking for weeks, that is an option. If I want to turn up the music as loud as I can and dance around my home naked, no one has to know…But now, I have another person to consider…I love him, but I imagine my life will look very different a year from now…

So I’m planning and stressing…I’ve even had to repeat scriptures to myself on a daily basis this week when my mind wants to obsess…Below are the ones that have been most helpful to me…

Romans 8:28 (my all-time favorite)

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whohave been called according to his purpose. “(I hope I’m making the best decisions, but if I’m not, I trust that God is working everything out for my good.)

Proverbs 3:5-6

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (The funny thing about being humans is that we believe we can figure out the best paths for us because we have been blessed with incredible minds. However, as we only have human understanding, we have to ultimately rely on God’s understanding and trust that He is leading us down the right paths.)

Philippians 4:6-7

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (While it is okay to be concerned about an issue, God commands us not to be anxious and worry…I must tell the truth, I have downright worried this week, but I’m working on just being concerned.)

One morning when I woke up, this song was in my spirit, and it has helped me to calm myself down as MY GOD IS AWESOME! If my God is truly awesome, I have to let Him work it all out…Check out Pastor Charles Jenkins and Fellowship Chicago as they sing “Awesome.”

Any thoughts?

P.S. I haven’t posted as much as I like, and I hope to remedy that this month…But you must forgive me if a few of my posts are about wedding and marriage planning…It’s just where I’m at 🙂

 

 

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Let’s Stay Together?

“Let’s, we oughta stay together,
Loving you whether, whether,
Times are good or bad, happy or sad.”

Al Green in “Let’s Stay Together”

Hello World!

I don’t know about you, but about two Fridays ago, I was up at 4 a.m. watching Kate Middleton, now Catherine, marrying Prince William. I thought the media focused too much on the event in the months leading up to the big day, but the romantic in me was lured to the wedding nonetheless. As I watched the royal pageantry unfold and reflected on one of my favorite stories as a child, “Cinderella,” I could not tear myself away from the television although I had to turn a big project to turn in that day.

Although I was happy for the royal couple, I also could not help but think of the last wedding that captured that much attention: the wedding of Princess Di and Prince Charles. And we know how that ended. I remember watching the wedding with my mother, and although I did not completely understand what was going on, I remember thinking it seemed like a fairy tale unfolding in front of my eyes. I remember being captivated by Princess Di’s wedding ring – the one that Princess Catherine now wears today. And yet their marriage ended horribly. I wish Princess Catherine and Prince William the best, but I do wonder if they will stay together.

Stateside, we have no royalty, but the family that seems to command the most attention other than the Obamas is the Kennedys. When it was announced yesterday that Maria Shriver, a member of the Kennedy family, and former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger are separated after 25 years of marriage, I began wondering what does it take for couples to really last till death do them part…I mean how bad could have it have been to separate after spending almost half of their lives together at this point? I read in an article that the recent deaths of Shriver’s uncle and father and rumors of affairs Schwarzenegger allegedy had with other women could could have contributed to the decision to separate.

As someone who has been a commitmentphobe, news like this and the divorce rate in this country makes me wonder what are the ingredients of a marital coupling that really has lifetime staying power…What do you think?

Any thoughts?

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I’m such a hater aka I sometimes break The Ten Commandments…

Hello World!!!

It has been said that confession is good for the soul. And so in deference to that adage, I confess that I frequently covet…

My earliest remembrance of this destructive behavior in my life goes back to when I was about six years old. A single mother who worked nights lived next door to my family and me.  In neighborly kindness, I guess, the single mother’s daughter, who shall go nameless, was allowed to stay over at our apartment each night. In the morning, her mother would come and get her. The girl was about a year younger than me and so we became fast friends.

But I quickly  noticed that this girl had things that I didn’t have. She wore name name brand clothing for instance and had jewelry even. In my six-year-old mind, I deduced that the reason my parents didn’t lavish name brand clothing and jewelry on me was that there was three of us and they couldn’t afford to spend their money on such frivolties. And I also deduced that my friend’s mama only had to cover two people, and that’ s why her mama could spend that way. But I was still jealous…I would try to comfort myself by saying to myself, I bet she wishes she had a daddy and brothers like I do…And that sentiment would work for a while, but then I would find myself thinking of what she had and what I didn’t have again. It got so bad that sometimes I would be up at night worrying about it all…Can you believe it? I was just six years old! That is sooo terrible…My friend slept in my room with me and that made it worse. Sometimes I would get up in the middle of the night and quietly open the door so the hallway light shone in the room and I would peer at a ring on her finger. I don’t even remember what it looked like exactly, but I do remember it was sparkly and reminded me of one of my favorite fairytales – Cinderella.

Fast forward nearly 30 years and I still find myself dealing with this insidious habit. I remember when I was in 20s and I was making $10 a paycheck at my first journalism job. All of my friends were going on trips, getting fabulous apartments and starting investment clubs…With my meager earnings, I had to live at home, and the only trip I could afford was the trip to work and back. As far as investments were concerned, I tried to comfort myself with the knowledge that I was investing in my future by taking a job in my field and getting experience. But I was still seething on the inside…and sometimes the vitriol spilled out…My father gave me countless pep talks during this time…He assured me that “my time” was coming…And he reminded that I chose a field that often doesn’t yield large earnings- at least at the beginning of your career, and I had to accept that or go into a different field. And he also told me that God had a purpose for my life and as long as I was in His will, I was where I needed to be.

Lately I have found myself hating on other people’s blogs or their careers. Here is what I think sometimes – Why her blog got all those comments? I’m a good writer too. Or why did she get a book deal when her topic is hackneyed at best?  I could write that story with one hand tied behind my back…Yes, it’s gets really ugly in my mind sometimes…A friend wisely told me maybe one of the reasons why my blog doesn’t get as many comments as others is because I am talking about religious topics and religion will never be as popular. That may be true, but one of my favorite blogs, a religious blog, gets scads of comments…how come my blog doesn’t? I swear I’m still six years old….

So by this time, I should be wrapping up now and telling you how I’ve overcome my haterism…I haven’t…but sometimes, I have moments of clarity after I have bitched and moaned about it to anyone that will listen…One particularly spiritual friend frequently states that I shouldn’t compare my insides to someone else’s outsides. What that means is that what someone has doesn’t necessarily equate to happiness. Over the years I have learned that is true. Sometimes I’ve been told to pray for the person that I resent. I’ve found that if I pray for the person to get everything I want in my life, I often find that I don’t feel as bad…And I recently discovered that some people want what I have. That makes me feel really good…I swear, I’m terrible, huh? And sometimes hate can be a good thing actually. Sometimes, it has propelled me to do things I wouldn’t ordinarily do…For instance, I can be smart about my money too…And sometimes the answer is to stop thinking about myself and think of how I can help others…Self obsession is a trap for sure…prayer is a good tool too…

Anyway, I don’t have all of the answers for sure, but I am REALLY interested in what you have to say. PLEASE post comments…or else…or else…I will talk about you to my friends, ha, ha (Y’all pray for me.)

Any thoughts?

P.S. Check out Canton Jones’ “Hater Day.”