As I was perusing blogs and various news outlets, I came across this video of Dietrick Haddon singing R&B superstar Usher’s song “Climax” on The Gospel Guru courtesy of The Old Black Church! Instead of the original love song, however, Haddon has reworked the song into a gospel song…Check it out below…

Some people may have a problem with that, but imitation is the sincerest form of flattery…In fact, Haddon says to Usher that he likes Usher’s song at the beginning of the video. And according to Ecclesiastes 1:9, “there is nothing new under the sun.” In fact, R&B artists also borrow from gospel. R&B legend Ray Charles was known for borrowing from gospel music. His song “I Got a Woman” is a reworking of the song “It Must Be Jesus” by the Southern Tones. (Remember that scene in the movie “Ray” when Della Bea criticizes Ray Charles for reworking the song? She says, “But it… it ain’t… It ain’t right to be changing gospel music into this.'”) Anyhow, take a look at the “It Must Be Jesus” video and then the video for “I Got a Woman.” Frankly, I like both songs…

So my question of the day is: Do you think gospel artists should borrow from secular artists and vice versa?

Any thoughts?

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It’s still my birthday month! Yeah, my b-day was Labor Day this year, Sept. 7, and I’m still accepting gifts LOL . 

But that is not the reason for this post….If you’ve read my blog over this past year (yes, it was ago Sept. 2 that I created this blog with the help of my friend Tess Gadwa), you know that one of my favorite topics to wax creatively on is relationships. But as I’ve known since the ninth grade, sometimes you just want out or sometimes someone else makes that decision for you. Yes, that’s right I’m talking about breaking up…It’s hard to do sometimes, but it’s a fact of life without question. I remember the first time I broke up or rather was forced to break up with someone. (As I write this, I wonder if I have shared this story before as I’ve been blogging for a year now.)

As a ninth grader, Imani, who was a grade ahead of me, was my first official boyfriend. He was great. He was smart and cute – a chocolate drop with wavy hair. And his wardrobe was the business. He used to wear the fresh jogging suits with the matching sneaks. And wonder of wonders, he liked me. He walked me to my classes. He bought me stuffed animals. He wrote love letters to me. He called me almost every night. (Now that I’m well into my ’30s – 36 no less , I realize how unique he truly was…) I couldn’t date yet, but he was diggin’ me anyway for nearly three months until almost suddenly he wasn’t…And I was crushed…I couldn’t figure out how someone who was obviously into me just wasn’t anymore…aaah, such is life, such is life.

We had a fairly civil breakup in that we talked about it and then went on our way. That was very mature of us at the time…but sometimes the breakup is anything but mature…I admit I’ve been guilty of the immature breakup. In college, I, to my friends’ delight, coined the term the “slow diss.” Sometimes, I just didn’t have the courage to tell a guy I wasn’t into him anymore. So I slowly disengaged myself – getting off of the phone very quickly, not calling back, not accepting invitations for dates and on and on – until the relationship died by slow starvation…sad but true….Sounds mean, huh? But trust and believe, what goes around comes around and it has certainly been done to me…On one of my favorite shows (as you know by now) “Sex and the City,” Jack Berger broke up with Carrie by a Post-it!  on which he wrote, “I’m sorry. I can’t. Don’t hate me.” After such a stunt, of course he would be hated.

So what is the best way to breakup? Is it best to meet and discuss things face to face or does a simple or not so simple phone conversation suffice? Didn’t some athlete in New York recently break up with his fiancee by text…now, that’s bout it…and mean…And once the relationship is kaput, what’s the best way to get over somebody? I remember my best friend in the eighth grade told me the best way to get over a guy is to think of all the things you don’t like about him any ole way. Wise for her young age at the time for sure! That principle still works! A friend in college told me the best way to get over one guy is to get another aka the rebound dude. That can work too — although in my ’30s, I became fond of taking six-month breaks after dating a guy.

A friend of mine a few years ago gave me an invaluable article that I have often used to navigate my way through a breakup. “The Four Stages of Grief aka How Much Longer Until I Feel Good Again” is the best the article I’ve read on breaking up and getting over it! But another one of my favorite ways to get over a dude is listen to breakup songs. If it hasn’t been done before, somebody needs to make an album of the best breakup songs. Well, below is my soundtrack for breakups.

1. “Blame It On Me” by Chrisette Michele – this has got to be the most popular breakup song this year…This young girl has obviously known heartbreak…it oozes out in this song…
2. “Let It Flow” by Toni Braxton – once I started playing this song in college, I knew it was a wrap…I was done with you and you’d better be on your way…
3. “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt – as much as I love to talk, sometimes there are no words we need to say except that “it is over…”
4. “Hit the Road Jack” by Ray Charles – “Margie” in the movie Ray sang that song with all of the venom that a breakup sometimes involves…
5. “Not Gon’ Cry” by Mary J. Blige – I’m glad that Mary is doing “Just Fine” nowadays, but she know she can tear up a breakup song…I was your lover and your secretary, and you still did me wrong…
6. “Irreplaceable” by Beyonce – Trust, you ain’t the only one where that came from…
7. “It Ain’t Me Babe” by Joaquin Phoenix & Reese Witherspoon – I know these actors recorded this song for the movie “Walk the Line” about Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash, but they put their foot in this song. It is a classic “it’s not you, it’s me” breakup song…And it ain’t nothin’ like a country song to get you through…
8. “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor – I’ma be alright…I WILL SURVIVE!
9. “Show Me Love” by Robin S. – Who is this chick? I don’t know, but whenever I hear this song, my arms immediately move over my head…I’m tired of giving my love and getting nowhwere…sang it girl!
10. “Call Tyrone” by Erykah Badu – This song really works when you’ve been dealing with a dude that is straight trife…Man, get outta my face…you ain never bought me nothin’ no way…

So what songs are on your breakup soundtrack?  How do you get over someone? What’s the worst way you’ve ever broken up with someone? Has it come back to haunt you?

Any thoughts?

The post Blame It On Me aka Anatomy of a Breakup… appeared first on After the Altar Call.

I’s married now…Just Kidding! But I got your attention, didn’t I? Since Shug Avery shouted those words in one of my all-time favorite movies, “The Color Purple,” I have been waiting to say them. Maybe I will have the opportunity one day to shout those words about me and my huzzband! But for today, that hasn’t happened…

But nevertheless, it gives me great pleasure to say that on Saturday, Oct. 18, I will have the pleasure, God willing, to watch one of my dear sorors and friend, Renee, and one of the luckiest men alive, Lincoln, be joined in holy matrimony. Marriage is, indeed, a gift from God, and I’m glad that my girl is finally ready to receive her gift!

It is with her permission that I dedicate today’s post to my friend and her upcoming wedding and marriage. I met Renee about 10 years ago….I cannot really remember exactly when I met her, but from the moment I saw her effervescent smile and heard her high-pitched, raucous laugh, I knew she would be my friend.  She is one of the few people that I know that “to know her is to love her,” and I know why Lincoln was immediately smitten with her when he met her at a speed dating event some years ago. (Yes ladies, it can happen anywhere…)        

I almost have never seen her without a smile on her face, and she is an attorney of all things! In fact, my father, who has noticed her natural agreeableness, said her joy is a gift from God, and I believe that is true. A friend once mentioned to me that she had seen Renee cry once. My eyes widened and my mouth fell open in amazement. Apparently it took a few minutes for my friend to actually notice she was crying though because even as she cried, she was smiling. Ain’t that somethin’?

I know Renee is getting married not dying, but I will miss her on the single girl jaunts to Old School Second Saturday, Agave, Omega (Gotta Love the Bruhs!) cookouts and anywhere we darn well pleased…Oh well…I wonder if she will still be available to ride out on our vacations. At one point, we had a crew of five that vacationed together. Now that number has dwindled down to two (at least as of Saturday)…the rest are married…I wonder if she will still send out frantic e-mails at the end of her workday asking folk to meet her for an after work drink or will she have to head immediately home to her huzzband….I wonder if I will be able to call her late at night or will that now be couple time…    

Okay, you’ve probably guessed it…I’m elated for Renee and Lincoln, but I’m a little sad for me…But thankfully, I’m mostly elated for them. In fact, I want to share a poem I once read in a wedding program that I think applies here.

Love One Another

Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup, but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart.
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

Khalil Gibran

 

Also, I wanted to insert a video of a love song I hope we get to dance to at their wedding reception – probably not, but that’s okay.  I know this is a song I hope to lip synch with my huzzband on our wedding night.  Of course, I will be Margie and he (where are you?) will be Ray Charles. I hope y’all enjoy it….

One time for Renee, Two times for Lincoln, Three Times for Renee & Lincoln. If you know the happy couple, feel free to wish them well here. If don’t know the couple but are a fan of black love, drop a line.

Any thoughts?

P.S. For the rors that will be in the house on Saturday, you may want to brush up on this song…

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