I don’t have to tell you it’s NYE! For all of the obvious reasons, I am reflecting on the journey that was 2010 and optimistic about the path that awaits me and you in 2011. With that in mind, indulge me as I refresh your memory about the topics that found their way to After the Altar Call in 2010!

As of January, 2010 was christened the year of the Single Black Woman with the circulation of this video….While this story originally aired on ABC in December 2009, it really started to be the topic of conversation the following month and created a year of events, books, shows, etc. all dedicated to finding husbands for single black women at all costs…Lord help us!

With a black president in the white house, Black History Month, which is celebrated in February, has taken on a new meaning for all of America’s people…In the A, we were a little shaken when the Epsilon Chapter of Zeta Tau Alpa, a white sorority, beat out members of the Divine Nine Black fraternities and sororities in the Sprite Step Off …But hey, if a black men is finally president, then white steppers can show out too…

In March, I blogged about the messages  in our dreams in Dream a little dream…(R.I.P. Corey Haim) Sadly, one of the teen idols of my youth, Corey Haim, passed away in March and so I dedicated the post to him as he starred in the movie “Dream a Little Dream” in 1989…

In April, I met Sherri Shepherd from “The View” at ABC News’  “Nightline” debate “Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?” This debate, which took place in the Dec (Decatur), happened due to the popularity of the aforementioned video dedicated to the plight of single black women…Did I forget to mention that Atlanta seems to be the capital of single black women?

My aspiration is to be an author, journalist and speaker so I felt particularly blessed to be chosen to be the keynote speaker at the 31st Annual Christian Women’s Retreat banquet which was held at the Westin Atlanta Airport hotel in May. My girl Latoicha from Luxe Tips did my makeup!

In June, I blogged about author Sherri Lewis’ book “The List” as I was asked to moderate a discussion on the book at  the Faith & Fiction Retreat which was held in the A this year…I could not help but post my own list…

front page of my list...yes, the back of this page is completely filled up...

I tried to avoid blogging on the plight of single black women in July, but the slant of this article, The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely forced me to reckon with this topic again…We took a licking but we kept on ticking…

In August, I was saddened to hear that R&B star Fantasia Barrino, another single black woman, attempted to commit suicide  after being ”overwhelmed by the lawsuit and the media attention”  concerning her alleged relationship with her married boyfriend Antwaun Cook, her rep told TMZ.com. Just a week or so ago, a judge declared that Barrino did not break up the Cook’s marriage as his ex-wife originally claimed in the lawsuit against Barrino…

In September, I was blessed to see “the Black Man-O-logues II” written by Jacquay Waller! R&I had a good time that night…

In October, National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, my sorors of DST actually donned pink  in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk at Atlantic Station to honor our line sister Kimberly Hudson Causby, who we lost to this disease and honor those who are survivors!

In November, my girl Tess Gadwa, the designer of this blog, released her book, Southern Cross: True Stories of miracles, visions, voodoo, snake handling, civil disobedience, and my search for existential answers along the back roads of the Bible Belt.  Again, You got to check out this book…and it’s free on her website!

As love and relationships is one of my favorite topics, this month, I blogged about marriage as The National Marriage Project, which provides research and analysis on the health of marriage in its yearly State of Our Unions Report, released its 2010 report. To read the entire report, please go here.

I also want to mention that my sorority lost two influential and beloved sorors this year – Sorors Dorothy Height & Lena Horne…I would be remiss if I did not mention them.

I thank you for taking this journey with me!!!  How was your 2010?

Any thoughts?

The post After the Altar Call: 2010 In Posts… appeared first on After the Altar Call.

I love the A…I guess that’s why I have lived here since I was six years old…I especially love it when the city is abuzz with numerous events simultaneously…As R & I traveled to the 14th Street Playhouse, we had to wade our way through groups of people walking the streets as a festival was nearby…And we all know the 100 Black Men of Atlanta TSU and FAMU football game also had the city on lock this weekend…And as I said before, R&I were doing our own thang…

And so let me get to my review…From the time, R & I walked into the theater where we would see the play, I knew that because of intimacy of the theater I would have more of a reaction than if I had been in a large theater where I was likely to be rows and rows away from the actors. This theater housed about 50 people with the front row right on the stage…As R and I waited for the play to start, we discovered that we both hate musicals…(I’m sorry, I fell asleep in “The Color Purple” musical when I saw it on Broadway in NYC)…But we also discovered that in spite of our distaste for musicals, we both love “Annie.” Go figure…Oh, the new discoveries while you are dating…

As promised, “the Black Man-O-logues II”  served up different scenarios of black men expressing love…I always make sure to pay special attention when a man in general, a black man in particular, willingly describe their emotions on the subject of love because it is so rare…

In the first scenario, we are introduced to Dash, a young man who is starting to “smell himself” but desperately wants to have guidance from a father who is not there…I think his father died but at any rate, two thuggish characters, one of which claims to have known Dash’s father,  in his neighborhood start to have increasing influence over him to his mother’s dismay…I wondered if this is what happens to many black boys who want to be men…Are they lured by the streets in order to find father figures at any cost? Aside: I know that single parenthood cannot be avoided in some cases, but we can all agree that a nuclear family is really the best environment in which to raise a child?…I’m so tired of people acting like a single parent is just as good as two parents…I really do think our community is suffering because of this fallacy…Okay, off of my soapbox and back to my review…

Now the second scenario was R’s favorite…and I really enjoyed it too…In this scene, we meet Demarcus and Priya,who are having an emotional affair at work…In fact, they refer to each other as office spouses although they both have real spouses at home…Hmmm…I don’t recall ever working directly with anyone who I would want to have an affair with…but from what I have heard, I know this is to be a very timely issue…At any rate, Demarcus is a prime candidate for an affair – emotional or otherwise – as he is feeling neglected by his wife…Although married for just a few years, Demarcus reveals to Priya that he and his wife are only having sex twice a month…R looks at me and says, “Do you think that is acceptable?” I look at him, pat his leg and say, “Of course not.”  Guess he is collecting data too…Ha!  Priya, on the other hand, does not seem deprived at home so I wonder why she seems to ready to get involved with Demarcus…R explained to me later that there are just women out there, happily married or not, who are always ready to provide a man with what he does not get at home…The takeaway from this scenario is that if you want to keep a man, a woman must be prepared to “cook, cut and compliment…” A more vulgar three-prong command was offered, but I will let you only imagine what that was…

I won’t describe each scenario in detail but I will attempt to give you the highlights…In the third scenario, we are introduced to a young man, Junior, 16, who molests his 3-year-old sister…At the end of the scene, he winds up dead at the hand of his father who cannot believe that his son is a child molester…I found it hard to believe that a father could shoot his son in this manner but it made for very compelling theater…While I was watching this scene, I did remember this dude from my childhood that mysteriously vanished after the neighborhood heard a rumor that he molested his sister…And I don’t believe this topic is dealt with enough for sure…

In the next scenario, we meet a mama’s boy, Greg,  who is at the mercy of his mama’s every whim – although he is a grown man…In fact, he is so influenced by his mother that he is about to lose his girlfriend of two years…In fact, as the scene unfolds, it is revealed that his mother, who craves her son’s undivided attention, hid letters from his father and told him that his father did not want him although that was a lie…Apparently, his parents separated when he was very young, and the father moved far away but asked his son to come and live with him…He refers to his mother as “Queen,” and he reserves every Thursday night for his mama to his girlfriend’s disgust…He even spends that night at his mama’s and refuses to introduce his mama to his girlfriend…Hmmm…I have come across a few mama’s boys in my day…And yes, the relationship, in some ways, resembles the one between a man and his wife…not sexy at all…

With current events as they are in Atlanta, the next scenario elicits audience participation aplenty…Gabriel is struggling with his sexual preference…And his churchgoing parents are struggling too…In fact, Gabriel undergoes some sort of ritual where church people attempt to beat the “gay demon” out of him…Hmmm…does that really go on? After surviving the beating or thrashing or whatever it was, Gabriel, who had passed out during the ritual, delivers a heartfelt plea to be treated with dignity and love…He tells the audience that no one would choose to be that way given the response that people have toward him and that the church focuses too much on homosexuality when it should be focusing on other other issues like why even 50 percent of marriages between church folk end up in divorce – no different from the world – Again, due to current events, obviously, this is  a topic that needs be discussed openly and honestly…

In the next scene, we see a couple getting ready to have relations…lol…but are interrupted by Dash from the first scene along with his two misguided homies who want to steal valuables from the couple’s home…By the end of the scene, the three would-be burglars are shot dead by the man in the couple who laments that he is responsible for killing three black men…Apparently, in a recession, there are some who would rather steal it  than try to make it honestly during tough times…Aside: As the couple were getting in the mood, Jodeci’s “Freakin You” was playing the background…R & I shared how we both played that album over and over again back in the day (more dating discoveries)…Guess I can’t play my old tape as I’m getting ready for church this morning lol, but I plan to take a listen sometime this week…LOVED that album…If only K-Ci and JoJo would get themselves together…

Lest I go on too long, I particularly enjoyed the scenario about two married couples that have one thing in common – both husbands are out of work and the wives are forced to be the sole breadwinners in the household while the husbands stay at home with the children…However, one husband was very uncomfortable with the situation and wore an apron that said, “This is some bull__.” Funny, huh? His wife, however, was happy being the major breadwinner and was starting to patronize her husband with her comments about his worth to the family…

The husband in the other couple, however, is very comfortable being a househusband while his wife is jealous because she wants to be the one to stay at home and take their children to school, field trips, etc. Now, it was my time to ask R a question or two…lol…Now, we all know that job loss happens from time to time…but in any household where I’m the wife, I don’t think I can live with my man being a househusband…now, my father always worked from home during my childhood but he was never a househusband…Naw, playa, when I leave for work, erebody leaves for work…

Other scenarios were presented but in the interest of brevity, let me wrap it up…

The sum of it all – R&I thought the play was excellent and inspired discussion during the play and afterward…y’all better check for Jacquay Waller because he is doin’ it!

Any thoughts?

The post “the Black Man-O-logues II” – THE REVIEW… appeared first on After the Altar Call.

1. Why did you write “the Black Man-O-logues? I’m sure you were influenced by Eve Ensler’s “The Vagina Monologues.” When did you start writing the play?

I wrote “the Black Man-O-logues” for multiple reasons.  It was certainly a layered approach. One reason was as a way to begin to shatter the double standards between men and women. Another reason was to give a voice to the voiceless. Many of the stories that are presented are seldom (if ever) seen or heard of on stage or film.  There are not many professional shows or film projects where you will see this many black men together presenting thought-provoking, tear-jerking, life-changing material.

You are correct in that I was influenced by “The Vagina Monologues.”  It helped me to mold my concept for presenting universal material on “love” from a black male’s perspective. I started writing the first installment of “the Black Man-O-logues” in 2006. 

2. What did you hope to convey in the first “the Black Man-O-logues ?” Why did you feel the need to write the sequel to “the Black Man-O-logues?” What do the nine men in the play represent?

My hope with all of the pieces I present are to engage people in conversations on difficult topics.  There is a lot of shallow material out there. It is strictly meant to entertain you. My goal is to entertain you while engaging you. You will never come to one of my shows or see one of my films without having to think critically. With “the Black Man-O-logues” I present various views on love.

Most people only imagine roses, diamonds, and hearts when it comes to love. Well, I show you the obvious love while also engaging you with issues of love and how it relates to a brother behind bars; the love a man has for his wife even though she abuses him physically and emotionally; the love a preacher has for his wife and family, but also for the “love” of women; the love a brother has for money which, in turn, affects the way he treats women in his videos. The list goes on. You’ve got to see!

With the sequel to “the Black Man-O-logues”, I’m addressing nine totally new issues. In this installment we’re examining more difficult topics: molestation, burglary, gang initiation, emotional cheating, the single father, layoffs, police brutality, etc.  Where is love in all of these issues? I can guarantee you, it’s evident in all of them.  The nine men in each of the series represent a different perspective on love. Most likely a perspective unheard of.  One of the most beautiful things is to have brothers come up to me after a show and thank me for giving them a voice. This is difficult material. We don’t really have time to play. We’ve played long enough. I’m raising real issues and present real stories. It’s up to all of us to come up with solutions. Once you know the issue, you are accountable.  

The “icing on the cake” with my shows are that I allow everyone to talk with the characters after the show – not the actors, but the characters! You can ask these characters anything. People do! I just provide a safe environment for you to ask real questions and receive real answers without jeopardizing your life.  By the way, “the Black Man-O-logues III” has also been completed but it has not debuted yet.

3.  You have a very interesting background. After receiving a bachelor’s degree in computer science from Tennessee State University, you worked as a rocket scientist for a missile company. However, you felt a calling to the ministry and enrolled in the Candler School of Theology at Emory University where you received a master’s degree in divinity. You also have a master’s degree in business administration. How did you become a playwright, and how have your past experiences influenced your current work? And are you working full time as a playwright or a minister or a rocket scientist?!

I’ve been an entertainer for several years, but I just so happened to “fall-in” to the career of a playwright. As an actor, I felt (and still do) that there is not enough material in the “Theater World” that pertain to black people. It’s just not enough material out there that black people can identify with. So rather than wait on someone to create it and present it, I decided that I would do it. And it’s been an amazing and unbelievable ride!  You would think that being in a city like Atlanta that there would be more “black shows” or shows with black actors. Many people choose to go with August Wilson’s material which is great stuff. But at some point, someone has to write and present new material so that we have more August Wilsons.

I would say that I am working full time in all three. DreamCatcher Productions is a branch of ministry. It is a medium that allows me to deal with issues that should be addressed in our churches but are not. Using the mediums of film and stage, I don’t not have to sugarcoat anything. I can say what needs to be said so that people don’t have to read between the lines. I am always working on new plays and screenplays, and I now work at the CDC as IT project manager instead of a rocket scientist.

4. Do you feel that black men really express love differently than other men? Please explain your answer.

My answer to this question is yes and no.  I’d like to say that many of the issues I raise are universal. They apply to men of all races and ethnicities. But I would also say that there are some cases where we as black men may express our love differently.  For instance, I have a character named “Camelot” in “Black Man-O-logues I.”  He is a rapper, wears his pants below is butt, has a grill, and refers to women as b*$@#s and h*@s.  His mentality is that his persona is the only way to sell records. He doesn’t realize who he is hurting along the way. He provides for his mother, grandmother, sister and his children, and he feels this justifies the way he treats and objectifies women. This is one out of several instances.

As black men, we have a lot of issues and baggage.  It is my hope by presenting these issues and providing answers, women will know how we communicate and thus we will be able to have healthier relationships.

5. The name of your company is DreamCatcher Productions. What is your advice for young men who want to catch their dreams?

My advice…Never ever give up! Don’t wait on someone to give you an opportunity. Create your opportunities. Don’t wait until you have time. You will never have time. Make time!  Dreams don’t have deadlines, only delays.

Okay, I will be there on Saturday….Will you? If not Saturday, you have an opportunity to see  “the Black Man-O-logues II” on Sunday too…

 The play will be featured at the 14th Street Playhouse, 173 14th Street, Atlanta, GA  30309 on Saturday, Sept. 25 at 4 p.m. and 8 p.m. and on Sunday, Sept. 26 at 4 p.m. Tickets are $30.

Any thoughts?

The post Introducing Jacquay Waller, Creator of “the Black Man-O-logues” appeared first on After the Altar Call.