Hello World,

I have yet to visit Canada, but it is definitely one of my list of countries to visit in the not-so-distant future! But in the mean time, in between time, I’m taking us to Canada today via my interview with Tamar Huggins, a Canadian-based and award-winning serial entrepreneur who has been featured exclusively in media outlets around the world including Black Entertainment Television, Canadian Living, and The Huffington Post! Tamar is also the author of “Bossed Up: 100 Truths to Becoming Your Own Boss God’s Way,” which is available TODAY! Check out my interview with Tamar about “Bossed Up.”

1. Why did you decide to write “Bossed Up: 100 Truths to Becoming Your Own Boss God’s Way?”

Seven years ago, my spiritual mother prophesied to me that God wanted me to write a book about business to help other women achieve success. I wrote “Bossed Up” as a guide for entrepreneurs and aspiring entrepreneurs alike – to help them navigate the challenges and successes they would encounter on their journey.

2. Your book incorporates biblical stories and how they relate to modern day entrepreneurship. What is your favorite biblical story in your book and how does it relate to modern day entrepreneurship?

In the God chapter, I referenced 2 Kings 3 – the story of King Jehoshaphat and his army digging ditches in the desert. As they marched for seven days to get to Moab, they became tired and thirsty. King Jehoshaphat went to the Prophet Elisha to ask for guidance. The Lord spoke and said ‘Make this valley full of ditches.’ For thus says the Lord: ‘You shall not see wind, nor shall you see rain; yet that valley shall be filled with water, so that you, your cattle, and your animals may drink. And this is a simple matter in the sight of the Lord; He will also deliver the Moabites into your hand.’

As entrepreneurs, we must prepare ourselves to receive God’s blessings before they arrive, even if the blessing doesn’t make sense to us. In the case of 2 Kings 3, it didn’t make sense for the men to see rain in the desert – but it’s what they needed – and it was easy for God to do. If you ask God to increase your finances, for example, you need to take the necessary steps to prepare yourself to receive the blessing, otherwise you may risk losing your opportunity. 

3. Your book addresses business challenges that entrepreneurs may face such as family time management. How do you address this challenge in your book and in your own life?

In the Balance chapter, I provide several references for work-life balance. My favorite is Boss Truth #85 – Prioritize Your Family. 1 Timothy 5:8 tells us that if we don’t provide for our families, we are worse than an unbeliever. Our #1 ministry as entrepreneurs isn’t our business – it’s our families. It is with that mindset that I prioritize spending time and pouring into my husband and my daughter because at the end of the day, I am building my legacy for them. I tell myself I am not an ER doctor, I am an entrepreneur, so I can afford to take time away from work to be with my family. 

4. Tell me about the writing process for “Bossed Up.” How long did it take for you to write the book? Was it easy or difficult to write the book? Did you learn anything from writing the book?

God planted the seed to write “Bossed Up” within me 7 years ago, but it only took me 9 months to complete the manuscript in 2016. Spiritually, I grew a lot and my perseverance definitely increased. I truly experienced how creative the Holy Spirit really is when we allow Him to work through us. 

5. Many adult entrepreneurs show an interest in business as children. Tell me about your interest in business as a child and how it led to officially becoming an entrepreneur at 23 years old.

I always loved the idea of being a boss and that’s probably why I was a bossy child! My teachers always told my parents that I was a natural leader, independent, and charismatic. God built me this way because He knew what He wanted me to become. As a result, I naturally gravitated to opportunities that allowed me to operate in my gifts. It wasn’t until I lost my advertising job during the recession of 2009 that I accepted my calling as an entrepreneur. I was fearful of the unknown, yet optimistic about the freedom and possibilities that entrepreneurship was able to provide, especially during such a chaotic time. 

6. You live in Canada. Tell me a little about living life in Canada as a black woman and how it may differ from living in the United States as a black woman.

There is something to admire about the black business community in the United States – something that we just don’t have here in Canada. The level of support that black female entrepreneurs have in the States, whether financial or community-based, is much stronger than it is here. I believe this is due to a difference in our cultural mindsets. I always admired the black business communities in Atlanta and desperately wish people in Toronto had the same collaborative and supportive mindset.

7. Finally, how and when did you become a Christian and how has it impacted your life?

I was christened as a Catholic and went to Catholic school, so Christianity was always a part of my life. It wasn’t until about 15 or 16 years old that I gave my life to the Lord, and I was baptized in the Pentecostal church in my early 20s. I wouldn’t be where I am today without God as an active part of my life. I cannot take credit for any of my ideas or accomplishments because they all came from Him. God is truly the CEO of my business and my life. When you have the Creator in control, you can expect nothing but success and happiness.

For more information about Tamar, go to her website, tamarhuggins.com, and to buy “Bossed Up: 100 Truths to Becoming Your Own Boss God’s Way,” go to  Amazon.com.

Any thoughts?

The post Bossed Up: 100 Truths to Becoming Your Own Boss God’s Way – NEW BOOK ALERT!!! appeared first on After the Altar Call.

Far be it from me to judge what married and consenting adults do in their bedroom, but I have come across three articles that have got me thinking about sex, sex fasting and consent from a Christian perspective. A few days ago, actor and former football player Terry Crews got folks talking when he told The Huffington Post that he and his wife of 25 years, Rebecca, fasted from sex for 90 days!

Below is the video.

Crews, who is a Christian, said the end result of the 90-day sex fast was that he was “more in love” and “more turned on” than before and that the couple’s emotional intimacy deepened. The Bible does address marital sex fasts. Check out the verse below.

Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:5

Do you believe that married couples should undergo sex fasts periodically to strengthen their emotional intimacy? Have you ever tried a 90-day sex fast as a married couple or for any amount of time? Did the marital sex fast work for you?

Now let’s switch it up a bit. What if one may want to fast from sex but is willing to have sex with his or her mate although grudgingly? After seeing the story “Christian Website: Don’t Look at Your Wife’s Face During Sex to Enjoy It Even When She Resists” on rawstory.com, this copulation conundrum piqued my curiosity! According to the post “How a Husband Can Enjoy Sex that is Grudgingly Given by His Wife” on the website biblicalgenderroles.com, if the wife isn’t really feeling sex at the moment but is still willing to get it on, the husband should focus “on her body, not her face.” The wife’s face (who is obviously giving the gas face because she doesn’t want to be having sex) is compared to Medusa’s face as ‘sin is ugly. Your beautiful bride’s face becomes ugly during this sinful time that she is grudgingly giving you sex as she grimaces wanting you to ‘just hurry up and get it over with.”’

Another biblicalgenderroles.com post was pointed out in rawstory.com as well. In the post “Is a Husband Selfish for Having Sex With His Wife When She is Not the Mood?” ,while a husband forcing himself on his wife or abusing his wife is not advocated, “despite American laws to the contrary, Biblically speaking, there is no such thing as ‘marital rape.’ In the Scriptures, the only way rape occurs is if a man forces himself on a woman who is not his property (not his wife, or concubine). A man’s wives, his concubines (slave wives taken as captives of war or bought) could be made to have sex with him, no questions asked.”

Now, the verse before the Scripture I referenced above states:

The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.1 Corinthians 7:4

So whaddaya think?

Any thoughts?

The post Do You Believe In Married Sex Fasts, Married Sex Given Grudgingly or Marital Rape? appeared first on After the Altar Call.

Hello World, 

So I rolled over in my bed and decided to pick up my phone and look at FB for a second or two before going back to bed…Awww, yes the perils of sleeping with your phone next to you on the night stand…Mane, I happened upon rapper Future’s Huffington Post interview that was done by Marcus Lamont Hill and posted yesterday or hours ago since I’m posting in the middle of the night…Hill asked Future,  Ciara’s ex-fiancé, about Russell’s Wilson announcement that he and Ciara are choosing to be celibate in their relationship until when or if they get married and if he waited with Ciara too…Below is the exchange from the article “Future: Ciara And I Didn’t Wait To Have Sex, But We Prayed After.”

When host Marc Lamont Hill told Future about Ciara and Russell Wilson’s decision to abstain, Future said that while God never told him to wait for sex, Ciara did say she wanted to pray when the deed was done.

“God told me something else. He ain’t tell me to wait. I guarantee you that,” Future said. “We prayed afterwards though. After we did it, we prayed. That’s a true story.”

And here is the video clip of the entire exchange about this question:

Folk, I’m sleepy, but I had to do it…I had to blog about this because it brought back so many hurtful memories of dating men who weren’t bad dudes but just didn’t share the same amount of devotion I have to my faith…I tried “missionary dating” which is when you date someone and try to get them to commit to Jesus Christ through your relationship…It never worked for me although I tried several times…From what Russell Wilson has said of Ciara and what Future has said of Ciara, her faith in God is important to her…Based on what Russell Wilson said of his current relationship with Ciara, he gets that, but Future still seems puzzled about Ciara’s faith…Obviously, Ciara didn’t chose to be celibate in her relationship with Future, and it’s not up to me to judge her for her choice. But, if what Future said is true, her heart is pointed toward God…

I love a lot of things about my husband, but one of the things I love the most about him is his commitment to his faith…On Sunday morning, he beats me going to church…And he is more involved in church activities than I am…It is such a relief…I’m exhaling to borrow a phrase from Terry McMillan….

And I’m not the only one who has had this experience…Tamera Mowry, who is married to Adam Housley, shared about “missionary dating” in an interview with EBONY magazine…

I tried the ‘missionary dating’ [in the past] where you have a person with a great heart who you think is perfect and wonderful except for this one important area that you try to change. That’s unfair to that person. That person needs to be who they are 100%. And it’s unfair to you. You don’t want to drag somebody to church with you. My husband wakes up on Sundays and says ‘Hey, are we going to church today?’ It just makes [waiting] all worthwhile. I dated guys who did not share those same beliefs and it was hard. There were many nights of heartbreak and crying, and that’s not what God wants for us.

To read the rest of the article, go to [INTERVIEW] Tia and Tamera on Marriage and Motherhood.

Here is what the Bible has to say:

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers [do not make mismatched alliances with them or come under a different yoke with them, inconsistent with your faith]. For what partnership have right living and right standing with God with iniquity and lawlessness? Or how can light have fellowship with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14

In another part of Future’s Huffington Post interview, Future says that he was the one who broke off their engagement…I got thoughts on that too, but I will keep them to myself for now…Suffice it to say, you have to be equally yoked so it was good that their engagement ended although I know it must have been very hurtful…

Alright, I can go back to sleep now…

Nite…

Any thoughts?

The post Why I’m Glad Future Supposedly Broke Off His Engagement to Ciara…Breaking Down Future’s Huffington Post Interview appeared first on After the Altar Call.