I don’t have to tell you it’s NYE! For all of the obvious reasons, I am reflecting on the journey that was 2010 and optimistic about the path that awaits me and you in 2011. With that in mind, indulge me as I refresh your memory about the topics that found their way to After the Altar Call in 2010!

As of January, 2010 was christened the year of the Single Black Woman with the circulation of this video….While this story originally aired on ABC in December 2009, it really started to be the topic of conversation the following month and created a year of events, books, shows, etc. all dedicated to finding husbands for single black women at all costs…Lord help us!

With a black president in the white house, Black History Month, which is celebrated in February, has taken on a new meaning for all of America’s people…In the A, we were a little shaken when the Epsilon Chapter of Zeta Tau Alpa, a white sorority, beat out members of the Divine Nine Black fraternities and sororities in the Sprite Step Off …But hey, if a black men is finally president, then white steppers can show out too…

In March, I blogged about the messages  in our dreams in Dream a little dream…(R.I.P. Corey Haim) Sadly, one of the teen idols of my youth, Corey Haim, passed away in March and so I dedicated the post to him as he starred in the movie “Dream a Little Dream” in 1989…

In April, I met Sherri Shepherd from “The View” at ABC News’  “Nightline” debate “Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?” This debate, which took place in the Dec (Decatur), happened due to the popularity of the aforementioned video dedicated to the plight of single black women…Did I forget to mention that Atlanta seems to be the capital of single black women?

My aspiration is to be an author, journalist and speaker so I felt particularly blessed to be chosen to be the keynote speaker at the 31st Annual Christian Women’s Retreat banquet which was held at the Westin Atlanta Airport hotel in May. My girl Latoicha from Luxe Tips did my makeup!

In June, I blogged about author Sherri Lewis’ book “The List” as I was asked to moderate a discussion on the book at  the Faith & Fiction Retreat which was held in the A this year…I could not help but post my own list…

front page of my list...yes, the back of this page is completely filled up...

I tried to avoid blogging on the plight of single black women in July, but the slant of this article, The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely forced me to reckon with this topic again…We took a licking but we kept on ticking…

In August, I was saddened to hear that R&B star Fantasia Barrino, another single black woman, attempted to commit suicide  after being ”overwhelmed by the lawsuit and the media attention”  concerning her alleged relationship with her married boyfriend Antwaun Cook, her rep told TMZ.com. Just a week or so ago, a judge declared that Barrino did not break up the Cook’s marriage as his ex-wife originally claimed in the lawsuit against Barrino…

In September, I was blessed to see “the Black Man-O-logues II” written by Jacquay Waller! R&I had a good time that night…

In October, National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, my sorors of DST actually donned pink  in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk at Atlantic Station to honor our line sister Kimberly Hudson Causby, who we lost to this disease and honor those who are survivors!

In November, my girl Tess Gadwa, the designer of this blog, released her book, Southern Cross: True Stories of miracles, visions, voodoo, snake handling, civil disobedience, and my search for existential answers along the back roads of the Bible Belt.  Again, You got to check out this book…and it’s free on her website!

As love and relationships is one of my favorite topics, this month, I blogged about marriage as The National Marriage Project, which provides research and analysis on the health of marriage in its yearly State of Our Unions Report, released its 2010 report. To read the entire report, please go here.

I also want to mention that my sorority lost two influential and beloved sorors this year – Sorors Dorothy Height & Lena Horne…I would be remiss if I did not mention them.

I thank you for taking this journey with me!!!  How was your 2010?

Any thoughts?

The post After the Altar Call: 2010 In Posts… appeared first on After the Altar Call.

Before I get started on today’s post, I have to shout out Cam Newton, College Park, Georgia’s own, who was awarded the Heisman Trophy last night! Way to go Cam! Way to go CPK! I grew up in the CPK so I gotta recognize!

Alrighty….today’s topic…According to the recently released 2010 report from The National Marriage Project, which provides research and analysis on the health of marriage in its yearly State of Our Unions Report,  achieving the American Dream is very much bound to the success of marriages. And it seems that highly-educated people (defined in the report as those with a college degree) are achieving the American Dream more than their less-educated counterparts in part because they are choosing to get married. Moderately-educated individuals (people who have a high school diploma and possibly some college) are becoming less likely to walk down the aisle than in years past and have started to resemble the poor in their attitudes toward non-marital child-bearing, divorce and marriage quality, according to the report.

I have selected some interesting findings from the report for your perusal and analysis:

• In a historic reversal, the cultural foundations of strong marriages – adherence to a “marriage mindset,” religious attendance and faith in marriage as a way of life – are stronger now among the highly educated than among the moderately educated. For example, teenagers from highly-educated homes are more likely to report that they would be embarrassed by a pregnancy (76 percent) than their peers from moderately- educated homes (61 percent). Highly-educated Americans are also now more likely to attend church on a weekly basis (34 percent) than moderately-educated Americans (28 percent); in the 1970s, highly-educated Americans were less likely to attend church than the moderately educated.
• Divorce rates are up for moderately-educated Americans, relative to those who are highly educated. From the 1970s to the 1990s, divorce or separation within the first 10 years of marriage became less likely for the highly educated (15 percent down to 11 percent), slightly more likely for the moderately educated (36 up to 37
  percent), and less likely for the least educated (46 down to 36 percent).
• Middle Americans are shifting toward a culture that still honors the ideal of marriage but increasingly accepts departures from that ideal. They have also not been well served by the rise of the “soul mate” model of marriage (more on this below), which is less accessible to them—for both cultural and material reasons—than is the older “institutional” model of marriage.
• Over the last four decades, many Americans have moved away from identifying with an “institutional” model of marriage, which seeks to integrate sex, parenthood, economic cooperation, and emotional intimacy in a permanent union. This model has been overwritten by the “soul mate” model, which sees marriage as primarily a couple-centered vehicle for personal growth, emotional intimacy, and shared consumption that depends for its survival on the happiness of both spouses. Thus where marriage used to serve as the gateway to responsible adulthood, it has come to be increasingly seen as a capstone of sorts that signals couples have arrived, both financially and emotionally—or are on the cusp of arriving.
• Although this newer model of marriage—and the new norms associated with it—has affected all Americans, it poses unique challenges to poor and Middle American adults. One problem with this newer model—which sets a high financial and emotional bar for marriage—is that many poor and Middle American couples now believe that they do not have the requisite emotional and economic resources to get or stay married. By contrast, poor and Middle Americans of a generation or two ago would have identified with the institutional model of marriage and been markedly more likely to get and stay married, even if they did not have much money or a consistently good relationship. They made do. But their children and grandchildren are much less likely to accept less-than-ideal relationships.
• Moderately-educated Americans also registered the biggest declines in religious attendance from the 1970s to the present. Over the last 40 years, then, Middle America has lost its religious edge over their more highly educated fellow citizens…Accordingly, Middle Americans are now markedly less likely than they used to be to benefit from the social solidarity, the religious and normative messages about marriage and family life, and the social control associated with regular churchgoing, especially in comparison with their neighbors who graduated from college.

To read the entire report, please go here. I must admit much of this report did not surprise me, but it is interesting to see all of the data that supports what I see going on all around me.  What did cause me to ponder a bit, however, was the whole “soul mate” reference. I’ve always been a sucker for the whole “soul mate” thing…I mean it’s even a category on this blog, but I wonder if having overly romanticized views about marriage is actually detrimental. From eHarmony commercials to any given romance movie nowadays, finding your “soul mate” is akin finding the Holy Grail. Based on this premise, there is one ideal person out there who is your perfect match and whose presence will take you to new heights in every area of your life….what do you think? Is that true or false?

Anyway, that’s all….

Any thoughts?

P.S. It is still the Christmas season…Enjoy “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer.” Hearing this song always makes me laugh…

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