Happy Mother’s Day to my wonderful mother Mrs. Alice May Holness, whom I have written about in “Alice May, It’s Your Day (Happy Mother’s Day to All Mothers).” The older I get, the more I appreciate all that makes her uniquely her. Her no-nonsense Jamaican sensibilities tempered with her fierce love for her family and church family. Her interest in modern pop culture (she knows who Nicki Minaj is by watching “American Idol”) and commitment to seemingly old school values like cooking almost daily for family AND friends. Her commitment to femininity (one of her beliefs is that every woman must have a scent) and devotion to working out hard in the gym (her trainer has praised for her strength although she is one of the older ones in her group).

I am always happy to celebrate my mother on Mother’s Day!…And yet for many others, Mother’s Day is not necessarily happy…Because I want to honor all experiences on Mother’s Day, I’m devoting today’s blog post to those who may be divided about celebrating today or who would skip this day altogether if they could…Below are seven stories about these types of experiences…

1. “An Open Letter to Pastors (A Non-Mom Speaks About Mother’s Day)” by Amy Young

Excerpt – A pastor asked all mothers to stand. On my immediate right, my mother stood and on my immediate left, a dear friend stood. I, a woman in her late 30s, sat. I don’t know how others saw me, but I felt dehumanized, gutted as a woman. Real women stood, empty shells sat. I do not normally feel this way. I do not like feeling this way. I want no woman to ever feel this way in church again. – See more at: timewarp.com.

2. “My Baby Was Never Born. But I Was a Mom, Too” by Blane Bachelor

Excerpt – I’ve never been a huge fan of Michelle Duggar, but when she made headlines last year by holding a memorial service for her stillborn daughter, complete with images of the baby, I felt a certain solidarity with her. I’m sure her motivation wasn’t to shock people or stir up controversy; instead, she was simply validating the existence of her daughter to the world. Isn’t that the least we owe our lost children? See more at: washingtonpost.com.

3. “How It Feels To Not Have A Mom On Mother’s Day” by Madison Tate

Excerpt -Before she passed, I hadn’t considered myself to be a heavily religious person. I was always driven by curiosity, and facts and science answered my questions. However, as soon as I lost her, I knew I had to have faith. See more at elitedaily.com.

4. “#ThisIsWhatBlackMotherhoodLooksLike: Why I Gave My Child Up for Adoption” by Aprille Franks-Hunt

Excerpt – The dark cloud of acceptance in the instances of unwarranted shame that comes with being called a, “birth mom.” Which by the way, something about that term, “birth mother/mom,” seems so dismissive to me. As if, we’re no longer mothers because we chose to allow another woman to become one. See more at ebony.com.

5. “Muslim daughter and Christian mother celebrate unity on Mother’s Day” by Colleen O’Connor

Excerpt – When Alana Raybon converted to Islam, her mother, Patricia, — a devout Christian — was devastated, feeling that she had failed her faith and family. She also felt very angry at her daughter for fragmenting their family. See more at: denverpost.com.

6. “Recovering From a Nightmare, One Mother’s Day at a Time” by Rick Hampson

Excerpt – On the first Mother’s Day after her husband killed their two young children and then himself, several questions faced Zoey Mendoza: How do you survive a mother’s worst nightmare? How do you be a mother to kids you can no longer hug or kiss? How do you endure a holiday that honors something so precious that was torn from you so suddenly? See more at usatoday.com.

7. “Black Women and Mother Loss: 5 Steps for Getting through Mother’s Day” by Liz Alexander

Excerpt – There isn’t adequate language to describe the pain of mother loss and the permanent void it leaves. In fact, Hope Edelman, author of Motherless Daughters, reminds us that the pain and the void experienced differs depending on several different factors: the type of relationship the daughter and mother had while the mother was living; the age of the daughter when the loss occurred; and the actual cause of the loss (such as physical illness, suicide, abandonment, mental illness, etc.) Nonetheless, mother-loss has profound effects on a daughter’s identity, self-esteem, faith, and the overall quality of her life. See more at forharriet.com.

 Any thoughts?

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