Hello World!!!
A friend of mine sent me a link to this wonderful Web site, iamsecond.com, and it got me thinking about these masks that are easy to wear at church…
At my church, it seems that I am eternally “the pastor’s kid,” although I am 35 years old. My church family have known me since I was six years old, but they don’t know all of me for sure…There are certain parts that I have kept hidden away because they don’t fit the image of “the pastor’s kid.” I’m not blaming them because maybe this is a self-imposed burden…no one ever asked me to keep certain parts of myself hidden, but nevertheless that is what I have done…
That is why I think this Web site is really cool because people are sharing their real stories and turning to Christ as their first line of defense against their struggles. Through the Web site, people share their stories of abuse, porn addiction, eating disorders, infidelity, divorce — and how they have been able to cope with these struggles through having a personal relationship with God. They have put Christ first, and their identities including their struggles are now second…
I have learned through various means how to be my authentic self, and it perplexes me how sometimes “church folk” try to make it seem that everything is always alright…That’s why it’s annoying when sometimes you ask “church folk” how they are doing and their standard answer, no matter what, is, “I’m blessed and highly favored.” Stop lying. You just ate a box of doughnuts, and you feel like you can’t stop eating no matter how hard you try…Or, you just spent the whole night looking at porn on the Internet…Or your marriage is a lonely facade although everyone thinks y’all are happy…Or your body is bruised courtesy of your husband’s uncontrollable anger…Yes, we are all “blessed and highly favored” for sure, but hiding behind that standard answer gets no one closer to the solution…
That’s why I was especially touched when gospel singer Kirk Franklin talked about his porn addiction with Oprah a few years ago…He certainly did not have to reveal his struggle…he hadn’t been caught in anything which is why many people reveal their struggles…Maybe being willing to confront struggles is one of the reasons why Kirk Franklin has teamed up with the American Heart Association and the American Stroke Association for the “Fight of Our Life Health Tour.” I heard Franklin talking about this partnership with Rev. Al on the radio last week. Rev. Al, who has lost a considerable amount of weight, commented that this partnership is particularly important in the black church where life can be preached upstairs and greasy, fried chicken and other artery-clogging foods are served downstairs. But that is probably true for many Southern churches, black or white….And let me not front, I love fried chicken, but I also know that we can be slaves to detrimental eating habits…I know that God doesn’t want us to struggle with that…
So who are you behind your “church persona?”
Any thoughts?
P.S. If you would rather not share your thoughts here, but need to talk to somebody, please go to the I Am Second Web site where someone is available 24/7.
The Word calls for us to be transparent, but not with everyone. Everyone in the church can’t be trusted with your most intimate issues. The fact is that we ARE blessed and highly favored. We need to save the details for our closest and most trusted friends.
Perhaps a better answer when we’re having problems and people ask how we are is to say, “I’m going through right now. Just pray for me please.”
I was also proud of Kirk, but he made it clear that God TOLD him to share his secret with the world.