Searching for Thelma…

Hello World!!!

Me and Thelma!!!

Her signature!!!

I admit it…I’m a total Stan when it comes to “Thelma” from the hit ’70s show “Good Times.” When I was around 7 or 8 years old, I desperately searched for images on television that affirmed and celebrated black beauty…In the early ’80s, those were hard to come by…While the white girls in my classes looked up to Jill (Farrah Fawcett) on “Charlie’s Angels” and “Daisy Duke” from “The Dukes of Hazzard,” I looked up to “Thelma.”  Next to my mother, she represented everything I wanted for myself in the future: beauty, brains, strong family ties, a loving relationship with a fine husband and a determination to make it in this world despite all of its challenges.

I do think this pic looks like me...

When I got older, I was delighted that I got curvy like my beauty icon. And one Halloween in my ’20s, I even decided to dress as her for a Halloween party. (If you go to my ‘How’ page on this blog, you can see that pic…) I smiled for days when two guys nearly back -to-back told me that I favored “Thelma” just a few years ago. One of those guys is an artist who draws wonderful portraits so I took that as a huge compliment!!!

So you can imagine how excited I was when I found out Bern Nadette Stanis aka “Thelma” would be at the Sweet Auburn festival last weekend. I did not know how I was going to find her among the throngs of people at Sweet Auburn on Saturday, but I desperately hoped it would happen. As R and I walked through the crowd, I overheard a woman say, “That’s ‘Thelma’ back there.” My neck turned nearly 360 degrees. “Where,” I said, forgetting my manners. “Back in that booth just back there,” the woman said as she pointed behind us. Forgetting that R was with me, I bulldozed my way through the people until there she was…the dream of my little girlhood…

Me being a total Stan!

I went up right to her and stammered something about her being beautiful, and she smiled and simply said, “Thank you.” Then I paid $15 to have my picture taken with her and an autograph…As we got close to each other, she said, “You are so cute.” I felt like was levitating…THELMA SAID I WAS CUTE…It came from her own lips…Since she opened the door, I walked right in…”Ms. Stanis, some people have told me that I look like you. I don’t know if that’s true, but I took it as a compliment,” I said quickly. She looked at me closely and then said, “I can see that.” I don’t know if she meant it, but it made me feel good anyway. R said I don’t look like her…Maybe not…but a girl can dream, can’t she?

I’m such a Stan, I even took a picture with her daughter Brittany…

Bern Nadette's daughter Brittany...She's so pretty...and really nice too..

Any thoughts?

Joy and Pain: a real mommy speaks out…

Hello World!!!

Latoicha Phillips Givens

As if you did not know, today is Mother’s Day, and I have to pay tribute to all mothers, particularly by mom! Do your thang today Mrs. Holness!!! (Of course, the fam is taking her out today…) And if you want to read my tribute to my mama, check out this post

Last week, I pondered what should be my Mother’s Day post…Since I wrote about my mom last year, I decided to write about another mother…But since I’m not a mother and really have no personal experience in mommyhood, I thought it would be best to pay tribute to mothers by having a real mother speak in her own words…So I asked My Girl Latoicha Phillips Givens, wife, mother, attorney and blogger extraordinaire to share her experiences about truly one of the highest callings a woman could have…

The hardest thing I have ever done is becoming a mom. I am not going to lie – being a mother is darn hard. You are your children’s source for emotional fulfillment, basic everyday needs and often times, financial support.

Jemel, 5 and Sydney, 2

Children seek out their mothers for their emotional well-being. When they are teased at school, they come to you to rebuild their self-esteem and self-worth. As a mother, you listen, give your child a big hug and tell him, “Baby you are the best!  Those kids are clearly out of their minds because you are so amazing and the smartest and the cutest boy I know.”  When your child is angry, you are the one that calms him down and determine the source of his anger, giving him solutions to deal with his anger in a constructive rather than destructive way.  When your children experience self-doubt, mothers make sure their children feel secure and comfortable in their skin.

What I find is the hardest is a mother’s responsibility to provide the basic day-to-day needs for my children.  These needs are greater when children are younger – the daily bath time, cooking meals, packing lunches, ironing and laying out outfits for the week, making sure your kids brush their teeth and floss properly. Let’s not talk about changing diapers and potty training. Really, need we go there? Definitely not my favorite part of being a mother. Whew!  Of course, ensuring all of these tasks are taken care of means that Mom does not get any sleep. I mean I always heard that, but it is so true. Completion of these tasks mean you rise as early as 6 a.m. and go to bed as late as 11 p.m. I am always exhausted!  Plus I have my own business and I write two blogs. Crazy!

And of course there is the financial burden of caring for a child.  I never knew how expensive and financially taxing it is to care for a child until I had to do it. We have to provide a roof over our heads, buy groceries, clothing and shoes and make sure we have transportation.  We also pay for their tuition and soccer, guitar and karate lessons. I find that our financial responsibilities are the most stressing of all.

Jemel, Latoicha and Sydney

But despite all of my complaints about the difficulty of motherhood, it is so worth it. When I see my children wake up with a bright and happy smile on their face, I feel joy. When the dentist tells me my children do not have one cavity and their teeth are well-cared for,  I am so proud. It is so gratifying when my children show off their academic skills and people remark on how well they speak. I am elated when they get so exited about a new movie, an ice cream cone or new shoes. The fact that my children are happy children and are polite and most of all caring means so much to me. Yes, being a mom is hard work but knowing my children are on the right path to becoming wonderful adults makes it so with it! 
Check out Latoicha at LuxeTips.com, a beauty and fashion blog, and IP Law 101, an intellectual property blog…
Any thoughts?