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Joy and Pain: a real mommy speaks out…

Hello World!!!

Latoicha Phillips Givens

As if you did not know, today is Mother’s Day, and I have to pay tribute to all mothers, particularly by mom! Do your thang today Mrs. Holness!!! (Of course, the fam is taking her out today…) And if you want to read my tribute to my mama, check out this post…

Last week, I pondered what should be my Mother’s Day post…Since I wrote about my mom last year, I decided to write about another mother…But since I’m not a mother and really have no personal experience in mommyhood, I thought it would be best to pay tribute to mothers by having a real mother speak in her own words…So I asked My Girl Latoicha Phillips Givens, wife, mother, attorney and blogger extraordinaire to share her experiences about truly one of the highest callings a woman could have…

The hardest thing I have ever done is becoming a mom. I am not going to lie – being a mother is darn hard. You are your children’s source for emotional fulfillment, basic everyday needs and often times, financial support.

Jemel, 5 and Sydney, 2

Children seek out their mothers for their emotional well-being. When they are teased at school, they come to you to rebuild their self-esteem and self-worth. As a mother, you listen, give your child a big hug and tell him, “Baby you are the best!  Those kids are clearly out of their minds because you are so amazing and the smartest and the cutest boy I know.”  When your child is angry, you are the one that calms him down and determine the source of his anger, giving him solutions to deal with his anger in a constructive rather than destructive way.  When your children experience self-doubt, mothers make sure their children feel secure and comfortable in their skin.

What I find is the hardest is a mother’s responsibility to provide the basic day-to-day needs for my children.  These needs are greater when children are younger – the daily bath time, cooking meals, packing lunches, ironing and laying out outfits for the week, making sure your kids brush their teeth and floss properly. Let’s not talk about changing diapers and potty training. Really, need we go there? Definitely not my favorite part of being a mother. Whew!  Of course, ensuring all of these tasks are taken care of means that Mom does not get any sleep. I mean I always heard that, but it is so true. Completion of these tasks mean you rise as early as 6 a.m. and go to bed as late as 11 p.m. I am always exhausted!  Plus I have my own business and I write two blogs. Crazy!

And of course there is the financial burden of caring for a child.  I never knew how expensive and financially taxing it is to care for a child until I had to do it. We have to provide a roof over our heads, buy groceries, clothing and shoes and make sure we have transportation.  We also pay for their tuition and soccer, guitar and karate lessons. I find that our financial responsibilities are the most stressing of all.

Jemel, Latoicha and Sydney

But despite all of my complaints about the difficulty of motherhood, it is so worth it. When I see my children wake up with a bright and happy smile on their face, I feel joy. When the dentist tells me my children do not have one cavity and their teeth are well-cared for,  I am so proud. It is so gratifying when my children show off their academic skills and people remark on how well they speak. I am elated when they get so exited about a new movie, an ice cream cone or new shoes. The fact that my children are happy children and are polite and most of all caring means so much to me. Yes, being a mom is hard work but knowing my children are on the right path to becoming wonderful adults makes it so with it! 
Check out Latoicha at LuxeTips.com, a beauty and fashion blog, and IP Law 101, an intellectual property blog…
Any thoughts?
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Soror Dorothy I. Height…

 

Soror Dorothy I. Height - March 24, 1912 - April 20, 2010

Hello World,

Though I was never blessed to meet Soror Dorothy I. Height, I feel a bond with her as she was a member of my beloved sorority, Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated. As a result, I must pay homage to my soror on my humble blog. For those who are interested, Soror Height will be funeralized tomorrow at 10 a.m. at the Washington National Cathedral. President Obama will deliver the eulogy. You can see the funeral at the Cathedral’s home page as the service will be streamed live. For more information, go here.

Since much has been written about Soror Height, I will not duplicate those efforts but I do want to highlight some of her illustrious achievements and inspirational beliefs.

  • According to the book, “How Strong Women Pray”  by Bonnie St. John, Soror Height’s favorite Bible verse was Micah 6:8. “And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” One of her favorite prayers was the Peace Prayer of St. Francis.
  • Soror Height served as the 10th National President of Delta Sigma Theta Inc. from 1947-1956. As president, she oversaw the purchase of sorority’s first national headquarters building. Soror Height was initiated into the sorority in 1939 through the Rho Chapter at Columbia University.
  • She was president of the National Council of Negro Women from 1957 -1997 and was president emerita of the council at the time of her death.  Under Height’s leadership, the council initiated the Black Family Reunion events to respond to negative publicity about the decline of the black family. Incidentally, the council also under the leadership of Height, published The Black Family Dinner Quilt Cookbook. (This is one of my favorite cookbooks as the recipes  in the book are delicious and the inspirational stories about Soror Height accompanying them are a historical treasure. )
  • According to the book, “I Dream a World,” by Brian Lanker, Soror Height was the organizational force behind getting a statue of Mary McLeod Bethune, a soror who founded the National Council of Negro Women, erected in a public park in Washington, D.C. It was the first monument to a black American in a public park in our nation’s capital.
  • Notable quote – “Black women are the backbone of every institution, but sometimes they are not recognized as even being there, even in the civil rights movement.”  This quote is from the book, “I Dream a World.”
  • Notable quote – “There was a myth across the South that the only two free people were the white male and the black woman, and that the black woman had better chances at jobs. Well, that was because they scrubbed floors.”  This quote is from the book, “I Dream a World.”
  • Soror Height along with Gloria Steinem, Soror Shirley Chisholm and Betty Friedan founded the National Women’s Political Caucus in 1971 and helped to advise several presidents on civil rights.

Any thoughts?

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Wait, I say, Wait on the Lord…

Hello World!

This morning, I’m still waiting on the Lord to fulfill my lifelong dream of being a published book author…Maybe I have not done enough or maybe it is just not my time as of April 24, 2010…(I believe it’s the latter…)

But I’m encouraged this morning because I know that I’m in God’s will, and I am trying to follow His plan for my life…I went to a writers conference in 2008 to get some encouragement from the Lord about this very same dream…I had been reminding the Lord of my desire to write Christian-themed books and the fact that I’m just a good writer anyway…(I think I once heard this sentiment in a commercial…”It ain’t braggin’, if you can do it.” And I can write…)

So anywho, I did hear from the Lord…although it was not the answer I wanted…His answer to me was “wait…” Literary agent Steve Laube read this poem during a session aptly titled, “Lose Wait the Write Way.”  Below is the poem…

Wait
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, “Wait.”

“My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign,
Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.”

“You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.”
 

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, “Wait.”
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting for what?”
 

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.”
 

“I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.”
 

“You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.”
 

“You’d never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.”
 

“The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.”
 

“You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I’m doing in you.”
 

“So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait.”

 Okay, okay so I’m still waiting…and trying to figure what God wants me to do next – if anything – …Should I go to yet another writers conference? Should I query another agent? Should I network with more published authors? Should I hate on yet another writer who has managed to get published with miniscule effort?  (y’all pray for me…) What are you waiting on God for today?

Any thoughts?

P.S.  Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. Psalm 27:14