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Soror Dorothy I. Height…

 

Soror Dorothy I. Height - March 24, 1912 - April 20, 2010

Hello World,

Though I was never blessed to meet Soror Dorothy I. Height, I feel a bond with her as she was a member of my beloved sorority, Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated. As a result, I must pay homage to my soror on my humble blog. For those who are interested, Soror Height will be funeralized tomorrow at 10 a.m. at the Washington National Cathedral. President Obama will deliver the eulogy. You can see the funeral at the Cathedral’s home page as the service will be streamed live. For more information, go here.

Since much has been written about Soror Height, I will not duplicate those efforts but I do want to highlight some of her illustrious achievements and inspirational beliefs.

  • According to the book, “How Strong Women Pray”  by Bonnie St. John, Soror Height’s favorite Bible verse was Micah 6:8. “And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” One of her favorite prayers was the Peace Prayer of St. Francis.
  • Soror Height served as the 10th National President of Delta Sigma Theta Inc. from 1947-1956. As president, she oversaw the purchase of sorority’s first national headquarters building. Soror Height was initiated into the sorority in 1939 through the Rho Chapter at Columbia University.
  • She was president of the National Council of Negro Women from 1957 -1997 and was president emerita of the council at the time of her death.  Under Height’s leadership, the council initiated the Black Family Reunion events to respond to negative publicity about the decline of the black family. Incidentally, the council also under the leadership of Height, published The Black Family Dinner Quilt Cookbook. (This is one of my favorite cookbooks as the recipes  in the book are delicious and the inspirational stories about Soror Height accompanying them are a historical treasure. )
  • According to the book, “I Dream a World,” by Brian Lanker, Soror Height was the organizational force behind getting a statue of Mary McLeod Bethune, a soror who founded the National Council of Negro Women, erected in a public park in Washington, D.C. It was the first monument to a black American in a public park in our nation’s capital.
  • Notable quote – “Black women are the backbone of every institution, but sometimes they are not recognized as even being there, even in the civil rights movement.”  This quote is from the book, “I Dream a World.”
  • Notable quote – “There was a myth across the South that the only two free people were the white male and the black woman, and that the black woman had better chances at jobs. Well, that was because they scrubbed floors.”  This quote is from the book, “I Dream a World.”
  • Soror Height along with Gloria Steinem, Soror Shirley Chisholm and Betty Friedan founded the National Women’s Political Caucus in 1971 and helped to advise several presidents on civil rights.

Any thoughts?

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Wait, I say, Wait on the Lord…

Hello World!

This morning, I’m still waiting on the Lord to fulfill my lifelong dream of being a published book author…Maybe I have not done enough or maybe it is just not my time as of April 24, 2010…(I believe it’s the latter…)

But I’m encouraged this morning because I know that I’m in God’s will, and I am trying to follow His plan for my life…I went to a writers conference in 2008 to get some encouragement from the Lord about this very same dream…I had been reminding the Lord of my desire to write Christian-themed books and the fact that I’m just a good writer anyway…(I think I once heard this sentiment in a commercial…”It ain’t braggin’, if you can do it.” And I can write…)

So anywho, I did hear from the Lord…although it was not the answer I wanted…His answer to me was “wait…” Literary agent Steve Laube read this poem during a session aptly titled, “Lose Wait the Write Way.”  Below is the poem…

Wait
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, “Wait.”

“My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign,
Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.”

“You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.”
 

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, “Wait.”
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting for what?”
 

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.”
 

“I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.”
 

“You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.”
 

“You’d never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.”
 

“The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.”
 

“You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I’m doing in you.”
 

“So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait.”

 Okay, okay so I’m still waiting…and trying to figure what God wants me to do next – if anything – …Should I go to yet another writers conference? Should I query another agent? Should I network with more published authors? Should I hate on yet another writer who has managed to get published with miniscule effort?  (y’all pray for me…) What are you waiting on God for today?

Any thoughts?

P.S.  Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. Psalm 27:14

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Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man? – THE DEBATE

Hello World,

As you know, I attended ABC News’  “Nightline” debate “Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?” on April 9. Since I am passionate about the topic of relationships, black love in particular, I have a wealth of information to share with you, and quite possibly – the answer to this stirring question…Read on…(Also, “keep in mind that I’m an artist,” and you know the rest…Erykah Badu ain neva lied…)

It all started in a Taco Bell somewhere in L.A. or it all COULD have started in a Taco Bell somewhere in L.A. …A voluptuous black actress and comedian noticed a slim but cute black actor…but with a sudden realization, the actress and comedian decided the pass the struggling actor on by… “Oh he’s good looking, but he didn’t drive up in anything,” said the struggling actress and comedian who had to ride the bus to her destinations. “And I need to be with a man at least who’s driving up in something.”

So who was the black actress and comedian and who was the black actor? Sherri Shepherd and Hill Harper. The two met each other years before they became successful in the entertainment business. And Hill Harper shared the story as part of the debate to illustrate one of the points that he made during the debate – that a black woman may find a “diamond in the rough” if they are willing to date a man with potential. In his book “The Conversation,”  Hill wrote about this point when he described how our future president and first lady met. An up-and-coming attorney was willing to date a law school student whose mode of transportation was so raggedy you could see the street through a hole in the bottom of it.

Sherri pointed out she could ride the bus by herself and needed someone who could at least upgrade her situation.

“But I had potential,” Hill said with a wry smile. The audience erupted in laughter and applause. And of course Sherri countered. “Now so maybe some stuff can happen.”

Although this exchange between Hill and Sherri was hilarious, it was a poignant exchange nonetheless that left me wondering if the course of many women’s lives would be changed if they were willing to look past the exterior and see what lies underneath…Obviously, Hill Harper turned out well in spite of his humble beginnings…(And for a skinny, light-skinned dude, he sure is fine…)

Dating a man with “potential,” a man who has not achieved the same professional status or even one that society deems not appropriate for a black woman seemed to be the themes of the night… I talked with a few of the audience members at the debate… I asked them is it true that a successful black woman can’t find a man.

“No,” said Dashon the Dating Diva, a blogger for FlaglerHill.com. “Sometimes we are own worst enemies when it comes to criteria. If a woman has an MBA, she has to marry a man with an MBA. Or a man has to be appealing to my girls.”

Dashon explained that she met and married her former husband when she was a Coca-Cola executive and he was a meter reader. “I looked for someone with character. Formal education is not equivalent to intellect. I know a lot of educated fools.”

Although their 17-year marriage ultimately ended in divorce, it was not because of their inequitable professional status. “I’m better because of the marriage,” Dashon said.

Dex Day, a flight attendant, said that she was willing to open her dating pool to white men as she had some negative experiences dating black men. Day met her husband, a white man, at Johnny’s Hideway, a nightclub in Atlanta, and have been together ever since. They have been married 10 years.

“If I preferred a black man, that would make it easier for me in society,” said Day, “but it was more important to have someone love me. I married a good man with a good heart.”

Again, although much of the debate was punctuated by laughter, some macro societal issues were also discussed.  Hill mentioned that as the U.S. moved out of the Industrial Age and into a more office-based working environment and the Civil Rights Era, the “powers that be” at the time and even now have found it much easier to hire black women rather than black men for these jobs. Over time, this practice has created a generation of black women that out-earn black men…

Futhermore, according to Hill, 69 percent of Latino-American children are raised in two-parent households. 79 percent of white American children are raised in two-parent households. 84 percent of Asian-American children are raised in two-parent households.

“We’re at 31 percent,” said Hill. “So that’s huge catastrophic problem…”

Obviously, we’re looking at the destruction of the black family if we don’t figure out a way to get together and stay together…

But the onus of responsiblity of shifting our dating paradigm should not and cannot just fall on black women…Many men seem to be choosing women that they shouldn’t be…(According to Hill again (yes, I do luv him!) 95 percent of women are trying to date 5 percent of the men, and 95 percent of the men are trying to date 5 percent of the women…) Here’s what Sherri had to say about that.

“I don’t know any black woman that could go out here and make a sex tape and get a cupcake line, a clothing line, a perfume line …be touted around  on the arm … on the arm of an athlete like, ‘This is my girl.’  ‘Cause, you know, when we do that kind of stuff, we called ‘SuperHead’ or we called, you know…” Wonder who she is talking about? Hmmm…

Steve Harvey also admitted that his generation of men failed to teach younger men how to be men and it shows up in hip hop music and broader culture.

“In this generation that first benefitted from the Civil  Rights Movement, a lot of us are the first ones in our family to go to college, the first one to climb the corporate ladder, first one to get a position at the post office, be the supervisor … whatever the case may be…In that climb, in that journey, we forgot to turn around and teach the generation behind us the business of manhood.”

Steve added that this lack of knowledge of how to be a man which includes knowing how to love a woman has found its way into hip hop music.

“We’re the only race of people who degrade our women in our music.” Say that…Straight garbage is on our radio stations…another topic for another day…

Obviously more could be said, but I’ve probably gone on far too long…

Watch the whole debate tonight on ABC News’ “Nightline” at 11:35 p.m.!