Friends & Financial Compatibility: Is There Such a Thing?

Hello World!!!

For the past two weekends, I have been hanging out with the girls celebrating birthdays, popping bottles, donning funky platform shoes, eating appetizers and spending money…

And if you read a previous post on my financial state, you know that I am trying to “save more, spend less and avoid getting ripped off.” (Clark Howard’s motto) Per my financial coach, I am curtailing my spending money to $100 a month for a while to help pay down some debt and add more to my savings…and it’s working…but $100 isn’t a lot of money it seems…And my eating out money is supposed to come from that $100 according to my financial coach…So when some friends and I decided to celebrate another friend’s birthday by taking her out to eat about a week ago, I made a game plan…And let me backtrack a little…these particular friends are fabulous and don’t mind spending a pretty penny and more on food, drinks and good times…So I made a game plan because with these friends, I’m liable to have more than my share of alcoholic beverages and then be mad the next day when I’m looking over the bill and wondering how I could have drank all of that cash the night before…

So the birthday girl, knowing my cheap nature, started off the dinner saying that she was contributing to the bill. Obviously, that was her way of saying, “I know you’re cheap, and I don’t want you to worry about paying for my meal because I want to eat and drink what I want…” And I appreciated that…(It is typically my friends’ policy to pay for the meal of the birthday girl we are celebrating.) But at the end of the night, some five to six hours later, as I was putting gas in my car at a deserted gas station and looking around for potential carjackers, I realized that I spent $20 more than what I budgeted for.  But hey I decided to chalk that one up to the game…You win some…You lose some…It could have been worse…

So Friday night, when I received a near midnight text that the girls and their men wanted to spend Saturday evening at the Hotel Palomar, I knew that it would be yet another temptation to go outside of my budget…But like a kid following the siren song of the Pied Piper, I went along…and we had fun…and the bill was nearly $500 when DKW and I left…

Before you get me wrong, this is not a criticism of my fabulous friends…If you have the money and want to spend it, that’s your business. But it does bring a larger question into focus…is there such a thing as a financial compatibility? Do you have to hang around people who have the same spending habits that you have? I enjoy having friends of various spending sensibilities. DKW and I are cheap…We get excited about coupons and free events…But I also enjoy hanging out with my fabulous friends when I want to spend literally and figuratively a night on the town…And the Hotel Palomar is a fabulous place to spend a summer evening…The beautiful lounge is atop the hotel. As I sipped my breakfast caipiriha, felt the breeze in my locks and gazed at the twinkling city lights, I almost felt like I was at the beach…(My financial coach and I agreed that I would not take any trips until at least December so I imagine I won’t see the beach again until next year, God willing…)

We have all heard that money issues can be the death of a marriage but what about your friendships? As I said, I think it’s possible to have friends of all types.

Any thoughts?

“Sex and the City” for black women…

Hello World!!!

Me on Carrie's stoop (I know. I'm such a tourist...)

Me on Carrie's stoop (I know. I'm such a tourist...)

One of my goals on this blog is to ignite a serious and contemplative discussion about the deeper issues of faith and spirituality…today, I will not be achieving that goal…today I want to write about something fun…

If you have not heard before, guess what y’all?  There will be a “Sex and the City 2!!!” Can you believe it? According to an article I read on msnbc.com, shooting for the movie will begin soon, and the movie will be released in 2010. Goody, goody !!! (clapping hands in exultation) My girls and I are big fans of the show and saw the movie on the first night it opened just over a year ago. In fact, I am such a huge fan that I have the “Sex and the City” board game, and I went on the “Sex and the City” tour in NYC  in 2006.

What do I love about the show? I think I read or heard somewhere that the creators of the show see it as their personal love letter to single women everywhere. And if you have been single for a while you know that single women appreciate the love. It is a challenge to live the single life particularly when the world around you is coupled up and preaches the mantra that “two is better than one.” It’s even in the Bible.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (New International Version)

 

 9 Two are better than one,
       because they have a good return for their work:

 10 If one falls down,
       his friend can help him up.
       But pity the man who falls
       and has no one to help him up!

Kinda slick how I managed to slip in some Bible verses in a post about “Sex and the City” huh? But watching the show makes me feel like singledom is celebrated and appreciated in spite of the inevitable misadventures, mishaps and minefields. Plus, the show is hilarious. Remember all of the crazy guys those girls dated. Now, I know that some criticize the show because the women jump in and out of beds throughout the city ergo the title “Sex and the City” but the show still managed to intelligently illuminate the issues that single people face. 

Me and the tour guide

Me and the tour guide

With all of that said, I watched the movie in its entirety again on Saturday. And as I watched the movie again (I’ve probably seen it 3 or 4 times now), I was reminded of the one criticism of the movie that all of my girls agreed on – Jennifer Hudson’s character “Louise.” I heard that in an effort to appeal to the black fan base of the show, the movie writers decided to inject a black character. But my friends thought that with her use of Ebonics and her penchant for renting not buying designer purses, Louise was more of an insult instead of a compliment to black fans. As I watched the movie again, I didn’t necessarily think her character was offensive, but her character did seem to bit contrived. For those of you who saw the movie, what do you think?

Apparently, there was open casting call for extras for the movie yesterday in the NYC. I wonder if any black actors and actresses will be chosen. I also wonder if any black characters will be included in the sequel of the “Sex and the City” movie. If so, I hope the writers manage to make the character  or characters seem more natural like Blair Underwood’s character in the show. Remember his relationship with Miranda? In a word, “steamy.” (I actually met Blair in 1994 in Boston. Fine as wine for real…) It is plausible that one of the characters could fall for someone as fine as Blair…

Truth be told, I don’t necessarily mind that that there are no black characters front and center in the show. I’m fairly political and all, but I don’t think Rev. Al should be called just because of this fact. I enjoy the show and think it’s well written. However, if black characters will be front and center in this movie, I think these characters should be plausible. So in case the writers for the movie happen to come across this blog, what are your suggestions for a new black character?

I think her name should be “Jackie.” Jackie is a powerful and sassy name, and we all know many black women who are powerful and sassy. Since Samantha is the only one of the girls who ends up not being in a stable relationship at the end of the first movie, I think Jackie should be a friend of hers. I think Samantha and Jackie should become friends as the rest of the girls won’t have as much time to hang. She should be a PR guru as Samantha is and a part of her network. I think Jackie, who is in political PR,  and Samantha should work as a team to improve the image of a New York politician who is found to be soliciting prostitutes behind his wife’s back. Sound familiar?  With Jackie’s knowledge of politics and Samantha’s expertise with the sexual appetites of men, the team “save the day.” Ha, ha!  And maybe Samantha ends up falling for the politician. (My imagination is working overtime this morning…)

So what do you hope will happen in the sequel? Does a sequel even need to be made? Do you think the movie should have black characters?

Yes, I saved the booklet from the tour...

Yes, I saved the booklet from the tour...

Any thoughts?

P.S. Jennifer Hudson’s character may have not been the best in the movie, but she blessed that soundtrack. I hope they include her voice in the new soundtrack.

No Words…

this is how I feel this morning...

this is how I feel this morning...

Hello World!!!

I…HAVE…WRITERS’…BLOCK…

So I will post a few things I learned and observed over the weekend as I was out and about in the A…

1. If you are nice to a waiter or waitress at a restaurant, you may get invited back into the restaurant after the restaurant is closed to toss a few ones back with the staff…

2. If you go to Nordstrom at Phipps Plaza, you may get some great dish about “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.” (Psss…hang around the makeup counters…)

3. Although my father is a minister, none have ever tried to holla at me…but they are tryin’ to holla at some folk…

4. Some guys would rather text you for over an hour instead of just call you…

5. I still have the goods to get invited to come into a party for free

stop by here in Phipps to overhear good & juice gossip...

stop by here in Phipps to overhear good & juicy gossip...

while others are forced to pay their way in…

6. You can actually get fresh sushi at the mall…

7.  There are some women who have managed to get married twice in the span of time that it has taken you to find not even one husband…

8. Lights are out in downtown Decatur by 11 p.m. unless you find the one bar that is open until 4 a.m.

9. Hit *67 before making a phone call so that your number won’t show up on the caller ID.

10. I admire single parents, but I don’t want to be one…

Y’all pray that my muse will return…I think this is a huge sign that I must resume my artist dates
How do I know that you love me...you text...

How do I know that you love me...you text...

 

Any thoughts?