What To Do When Your Friends Get Married…

Hello World!

One of my fave brides and her bridesmaids...Their friendship didn't change too much after Carrie got married...but this is fiction so...

It’s Hump Day! Yay! I cannot believe I have become one of those pathetic old fogies that lives for the weekends. Remember back in college when every day had the potential to be a weekend?..those days are so gone…oh well…

Speaking of college, I pledged Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated in Spring 1995! (Oo-oop Sorors!) I remember my roommate and one of my best guy friends at the time worried that I would change after I crossed (became a Delta). I assured them that I was once a geek and would always be a geek – even it I did secretly hope that I would be a better-dressed geek at the least. After I crossed, I was still cool with everyone – but I must confess that I did change. I traded in my thick braids for a short Halle Berry haircut, and I switched my glasses for contacts. And my wardrobe became more fly as well.  So my secret wish did come true with the help of my more fashionable sorors. But to my surprise, I changed on the inside as well. I did not shun my roommate or my best guy friend, but I did gain a whole new circle of friends – my line sisters and other sorors. As a result, I had to  divide my time between more friends which did not leave as much time as I once had for my roommate and best guy friend. (My guy friend accused me of walking around campus randomly chanting, “I love my DST!” LOL) I didn’t mean anything by it. It just happened…

So that was a long intro into today’s topic. In the last five years or so, friend after friend, guys and girls, are getting married…and I’m happy for all of them. But I must confess that I do feel a sense of loss. I called one of my newly married friends about a month ago, and she still hasn’t called me back yet. Instead of a call, a week or so ago, I received a thank you card which was actually a photograph montage of her and her new hubby from the wedding. So I guess it’s like that now, huh?

One of my friends just stopping hanging cold turkey many months before her and her new hubby got hitched. Another one of my newly married friends has moved away. She didn’t move away because she got married, but I cannot help but think she was more open to the idea of moving away because she has a new best friend that will go with her anywhere. I asked that same friend what she was going to do one weekend day, and she replied that her and her hubby were going to be in pajamas all day and just watch TV. Gag me with a spoon! (Just kidding!) One of my newly married friends is still pretty much the same. She still likes to kick it and hang and even talk on the phone, but she is the minority. Do I sound like I’m bitter? I’m not. And thankfully, I have a boyfriend or manfriend or whatever you call a guy you are dating after you are 35 who I get to get all booed up with too…but it’s still kind of weird to see all of this happen around me…So I have a few questions for you married folks, but sometimes I just don’t know how to act with y’all anymore.

  1. Should I assume that you no longer want to hang on the weekends anymore as a general rule? Let a girl know because no one likes rejection…
  2. When is a good time to call you? Are you and your hubby relaxing in bed as of 8 p.m.? Should I not call before 10 a.m. on Saturday mornings because you and your hubby are still in bed? Can I call you late at night if I have a problem and I need to vent?
  3. Do you now prefer your married girlfriends over me now? Do you still want to go on vacays with the girls? Or do you prefer your vacays with your hubby?
  4. Do you have dinner every weeknight with your hubby, or are you still available some weeknights for a quick dinner?
  5. If I leave a voice mail for you, how long will it take you to get back to me?
  6. Can you still go to slumber parties at your girls’ house? One of my friend’s husbands was not so excited about my friend staying out all night for the slumber parties that my girls have periodically…I think he’s over it now once he realized that it’s really harmless i.e. we are really not at the club looking for guys…we are actually just chillin’ in our pajamas at someone’s house…
  7. How long can we kick it at your house? Do we get kicked out by a certain time, or is your husband cool with us kicking it till the break of dawn?
  8. Can you still go to parties with your girls?
  9. Can I still discuss all of my single girl woes with you, or do you now want to only focus on married bliss?
  10. Do you still love me? LOL…

For real dough, it’s not that serious since my life is changing too, but these are questions that have my crossed my mind. So married people tell me what’s up…

Any thoughts?

Pretty in Pink…

Hello World!

Since October is designated as National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, there is no way that I could let this month pass by without paying homage to those who are now in heaven in the presence of the Father  – including my line sister Kimberly Hudson Causby, who left this world on May 16, 2005 and those who are on earth petitioning and trusting in the Father for their healing…

In honor of Kim and those who are being healed from breast cancer, my line sisters and other friends decided to paint the town pink although as every Delta knows pink ain’t nothing but crimson and cream mixed together…We walked in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk yesterday at Atlantic Station…I invite you to share in our sisterhood, bonding and hope…

Beautiful line sisters and a teeny weeny Delta in training!

 

A pooch in pink!  Anyone remember Poochie?

 

There is strength in numbers! We ready!

 

Pretty in Pink!

 

Crazy line sisters!

 

Other black Greeks represent!!!

 

They got that pink spirit!

 

 

Another Delta in training! Check the hand on the hip!

 

Corvettes for breast cancer awareness! I want one for Christmas!

 

 

Pink from head to toe…

 

VICTORY!!!

You may or may not be wondering why I am not in any of these pictures…Well first, everything ain’t ’bout me…but also, chile I thought it was going to be a race like the Peachtree Road Race so I came with my hair wrapped up ready to sweat…so it was not a good look…had I known it was a victory lap(walk) type of event, I would have been a number #1 stunna as well…lol…

Anywho, my prayer for those who are currently fighting the good fight against breast cancer…

 

Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed. Psalm 119:116

Any thoughts?

 


 

 

 

 

A Change Is Gonna Come…

 

Hello World!!!

As we enter the last full week before the presidential election next Tuesday, I thought I would post a sober and reflective entry about “how we got over” thus far, and those who God has used thus far to exact change in the United States of America. ( will try anyway. I just love making people laugh!)

Last month at a journalism conference, I had the pleasure of meeting Charlayne Hunter-Gault, the first black woman to attend the University of Georgia. As she spoke about race relations during this current election cycle and compared and contrasted it with her bittersweet experiences at UGA, she mentioned that she is the daughter and granddaughter of ministers. Since I, too, graduated from the University of Georgia with a journalism degree, (I don’t care what you FAMU Rattlers say, I’m proud of my HWCU) and am the daughter and granddaughter of ministers, I knew I had to talk with her after her speech.

So as she signed my copy of her memoir In My Place, I asked her if she would be interested in being interviewed for my blog. She gave me her contact information and asked me to contact her later! But after a few weeks of playing phone tag, her daughter called me and told me that Mrs. Hunter-Gault was world traveling and wouldn’t be able to do the interview…oh well, you win some, you lose some…

However, I did read her book while I was on vacation, and I wanted to share some interesting passages in the book and my insights.

As I read her memoir, I was again reminded how the church has shaped many of the lives of American black heroes including Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, Benjamin Mays, Adam Clayton Powell Jr. and Martin Luther King Jr. – and this is just a sampling… She wrote about being a part of her church’s annual Easter program, attending Vacation Bible School and traveling to church conventions – near and far. I can relate, I can relate. In another passage, she said, “the difference between my father and my grandfather as preachers was that my father was a minister – more cerebral, less theatrical.” That’s true for my Dad and my Grandpa (I know you’re in heaven, Grandpa!) too.  She wrote about a grandmother that fasted and prayed on Fridays. My dear grandmother, who is now deceased as well, used to scare me when she prayed. First of all, she prayed in a stream of consciousness way and a sob seemed to be caught in throat as she prayed. I could actually picture her vocal chords quivering. Plus she was loud! I always thought if the Lord doesn’t answer her prayer “just now,” somebody needed to so she could stop…

There are also a lot of interesting pop culture details for voracious pop culturists in this book.  For instance, Hunter-Gault attended Mt. Moriah Baptist Church in Atlanta, which is still in existence today, where she listened to her first elementary school boyfriend, William, and his cousin, Gladys, sing in the “Sunbeam” choir. They also sang at the Royal Peacock on Auburn Avenue on Saturday nights. (Y’all from the A know about the Royal Peacock!) Gladys, William and others later became Gladys Knight and the Pips!

I love history, but since I graduated from college, I haven’t been as motivated to read as many historical texts as I should. In reading this memoir, I was delighted to learn some Atlanta history that I probably should have known before now. For instance, civic and political leader John Wesley Dobbs, grandfather of the late Maynard Jackson, Atlanta’s first black mayor, was said to the originator of the term “Sweet Auburn.” Dr. King Jr. grew up in the Auburn Avenue area, which was and is a symbol of black pride in the city. Big Bethel, which is decorated with the words “Jesus Saves” on its tower, was the site of Morris Brown College’s first classes.

While she was in high school, Hunter-Gault and her family lived in Alaska. I wonder if she could see Russia from her house. (Shout out to Gov. Palin!) Jokes aside, maybe moose meat ain’t all that bad. Hunter-Gault described sampling and actually enjoying it. Her grandmother prepared it by marinating it with vinegar and onions and “cooking the stew out of it.”

Hunter Gault also talked about her decision to pledge Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc., which is, of course, the best sorority in the world! Of course, I’m bias! (OO-OOP MY SORORS!) “They represented the kind of woman I wanted to be: soft and appealing, clear-headed and strong without being strident. And I liked the fact that they seemed to have steady relationships with their boyfriends.”

When it came time to endure the jeering, taunting and even a gun-toting madman as she started her life at UGA, the voice of her grandmother reciting the Twenty-Third Psalm comforted her. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for Thou art with me.”

I don’t know what’s in store this historic election and I don’t want to jinx anything, but even Hunter-Gault said she believes an aura surrounds Barack Obama. And a lady said to me yesterday that she feels that like our ancestors(a “cloud of witnesses” if you will) are gathering around here to see…it’s been a long time coming, but I know a change is gonna come…

Any thoughts?

P.S. Don’t forget to vote early. It ain’t a done deal yet! Barack the Vote!!!