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    jackieholness

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    Making Friends With White People

    tess7Hello World,

    Brrrrrr! It’s getting cold out there. And for an island girl via Kansas via the A, that just ain’t cool…Plus in my townhouse, it can feel like hell upstairs while downstairs feels like me and Sarah Palin should be rubbing noses in Alaska. (At some point, I will stop using Sarah Palin as the butt of my jokes. It’s not the Christian thing to do. 🙂 )

    Anywho, the cold weather and Sarah Palin are not the focus of this post. Since my last post about some Christians and their lack of support of President-Elect Barack Obama caused a vigorous discussion about the whole black-white issue in this country, I decided to further explore that topic personally and otherwise. Also, NBC is developing a new comedy,  “Making Friends With Black People,” “a buddy comedy that will focus on the state of race relations in the U.S.” Apparently Obama’s election is even inspiring change in TV programming! (I could have written the treatment for this show by the way. Hollywood, what’s up?)

    So let me dive in…I grew up in white schools. I went to a white elementary school and a white middle school. (I went to a black elementary school in fourth grade, but I got into so much trouble, my parents sent me right back to the white school.) When it was time to go to high school, I cajoled my parents into allowing me to attend the neighborhood black high school. I went there for all four years, but when I graduated, I went to to the University of Georgia where I was awash in white people. So you would think that after spending all of that time with white people, I would have made some really close friends with somebody white…Uhh no. I was the “Black Daisy” when we played “The Dukes of Hazzard” in first grade.  I explained to them why my mama wouldn’t let me wear my hair down in the third grade. In the sixth grade, I explained why I couldn’t rap although I was black. But when I left those school buildings each day, I didn’t talk to them again until the next day. Even in college, when I lived among white people in the dorm, I managed to have a social life that didn’t include any white people. Really sad, huh?

    In fact, it wasn’t until I joined a spiritual community (No, I am not a Moonie) a few years back that I began to explore friendships with white people. And after building some close friendships with white people in that group, I decided that maybe white people in the general population couldn’t be that bad. It wasn’t much longer after I had that thought that I met my girl, Tess.

    It was kismet how we met! In September 2006, I went to this Christian convention at this local United Methodist church.  Anne Lamott , one of my favorite authors, was the featured speaker! (Since elementary school, I was always obsessed with white pop culture, white books – even white music but that never translated into my friendships. 🙁 ) My plan was to slip Anne Lamott an excerpt of my book. She, in turn, would be so enthralled with my writing prowess that she would immediately invite me out to her home in California where I would meet her agent, ectera, ectera. But alas, she apparently did not read the script in my mind…

    So after Lamott signed my book and complimented my dreads and I slipped the contraband to her, I decided to walk out of the church. It was lunch time but I didn’t feel like eating alone. I decided that I would ask the next person that walked by to have lunch with me. I swear to you it was Tess. As we ate lunch, she revealed that she, too, had slipped an excerpt of her book to Lamott. And we weren’t even at a writers’ conference! What sly devils we were! And from then we’ve been like “peas and carrots.”

    Since then, I have stayed at her house in Charlotte. (She has moved away now though.) While there, I convinced her to get a ghetto pedicure with me. Yep, that’s right, she got the designs on the big toes. I don’t care what y’all say! She has visited me at my townhouse in the A. And we have discussed for hours on end, boys, boys and more boys! (Why are they so hard to understand?) It’s a passion we share – aside from our love of books, music, pop culture and God! Plus, she is as gung ho about Barack Obama as I am. What’s not to love? (She even designed this blog!!!)

    So now that Barack Obama is president -elect, let’s enact a little change of our own. Make friends with white people. You’ll be glad that you did! (Okay, my Dad thinks that I should start dating white guys to expand my dating pool, but I’m still holding out for just one just good brother… 🙂  )

    By the way, in this post, I have included one of my favorite white songs, “If You Leave,” from one of my favorite white movies,  “Pretty in Pink!” (I think I wanted to be Molly Ringwald at one point!) Tess kinda looks like Molly Ringwald back in the day, huh?

    Any thoughts?

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    The Obama Nation v. The Hater Nation

    Hello World!!!

    The hate is thick! Since our first black president-elect was chosen on Nov. 4, hate , like the lava from a volcano, has been oozing out and I hope things don’t erupt…But on the other hand, I, like many other Americans I’m sure, didn’t expect the first black president to skate into the White House unfettered by the restraints of racism.

    However, I am bothered by the response of some Christians’ response to Obama’s win because whether they want to admit it or not, they too, are racist. (Yeah, I said it. Shout out Michael Baisden, ha,ha)  Here’s the thing. I am a Christian. I believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins. I believe He arose from the dead. I believe that He is coming back again. Case closed. But I sincerely believe that these Christians, these Christians who have hijacked the Republican Party, sincerely believe that if you are not on their side, then you are on the side of the devil.

    A friend of mine, Ms. D, sent an e-mail to me about this big time Christian’s response to Obama’s historic win. Apparently, this guy Dutch Sheets, who I had never heard of before last week, is a minister and prayer warrior known throughout the world. His printed response is Exhibit A in my argument that some Christians are just racist when it comes to their lack of support of Obama. (Actually for the purpose of brevity, I don’t have an Exhibit B, but whatever- it’s my blog. 🙂 )

    Read his  written response here. Here are just a few snippets of some of the things Sheets said. First of all, he said that Obama’s win was not God’s will. He said that “as a nation we put on the blinders concerning Barak Obama’s background, associations, beliefs, and practices and set these causes (he was referring to abortion and other issues) back years, possibly decades. And in doing so we took another step away from God and His plans for America and another step toward judgment.”

    First of all, I promise you that this guy spells “Barack” as “Barak” throughout the whole article. What is up with that? You don’t even respect him enough as the president-elect and as a human being to spell his name right. This seemingly small mistake points to a latent disrespect of the man. And it’s funny about this whole association thing that the Republicans tried to make an issue of prior to the election. For months, Obama was criticized for his association with his former pastor, Jeremiah Wright. I don’t say that I agree with all of Wright’s beliefs, but at least everyone could point to the fact that Obama had a Christian pastor. What pastor was McCain associated with? Since we are talking about beliefs, associations and practices? What does McCain believe? Who was he associated with? What were his practices? I won’t dredge up all of the issues of this past election season, but as someone said to me last night, when you would rather elect a known adulterer who shies away from any discussions of faith, than someone who you can identify as a Christian who has been the faithful husband of one wife and call that “God’s will,” then I have got to believe that another issue is really the real issue.

    Then Sheets goes on to detail some of the judgments that Americans will face as a result of Obama’s presidency, “more economic woes” was at the top of the list.  Well, Mr. Sheets, if “economic woes” is a sign of God’s judgment, then God used President George Bush to usher in that judgment, and we all know that he is a true Christian as he is a member of the Republication party. (The sarcasm is dripping from my lips…) Actually, it is my belief that if Bush hadn’t been such an atrocious president, then Obama wouldn’t have had a chance to get elected. I wonder if that was God’s will too…

    He then goes on to address any false predictions he may have made regarding the election and the resulting backlash. “Like many, believing I had many promises and confirmations that God would ‘grace’ us with a pro-life president in this election, I failed to consider strongly enough that all promises-even scripture are conditional 99.9 percent of the time…If this caused any harm or confusion, I apologize.” He said he was “somewhat angry at the nation in general and much of the Church.” You know what I say to that, stop writing checks with your mouth that your actions can’t cash…

    And here’s the kicker. He compared Sarah Palin to women in the Bible. “I believe she is an Esther, a Deborah, with a huge mantle from God for reformation. God has great destiny for her related to this nation if she chooses to continue down this path.”  (Sheets haven’t you learned? Stop writing checks!) Goodness, I must have no spiritual discernment to miss that Sarah Palin is a Biblical woman reincarnated. If that is the case, then Bush is Abraham or maybe even Paul…Mr. Dutch Sheets, you may be “passing the dutchie” because you are sadly mistaken! And you know what else, I just think you are a part of the Hater Nation rather than the Obama nation. And since Obama will be the next president of the United States of America, it is with a special joy that I say this. “America. Love it or Leave it.”

    I could say more, but I won’t because I want to hear from you…

    Any thoughts?

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    Of Heaven, Hell & Revelation…

    Hello World!!!

    In spite of the title of this post, I am determined to make this a fun and whimsical post  – hopefully, it will not be sacrilegious…I’m sure somebody will let me know if it is.

    So tonight, we start studying the book of Revelation in Bible Study. I’ve never been too excited about this book. All of the symbolism just goes way over my head. And the battle between Good and Evil is downright scary even though Good wins. Have you taken a look at Revelation lately? There is mention of creatures covered with eyes, a beast with horns but with the voice of a dragon, plagues, men gnawing their tongues in agony, a fiery lake of burning sulfur and I could go on…pretty scary stuff – as scary as any scary movie I’ve ever seen. Also, I have childhood memories of watching this creepy movie, Thief in the Night, in church one Sunday night. In the movie, this woman discovers her Christian husband has been raptured, and she is living in the last days of the Antichrist. Everyone must get the mark of the beast, etc. Imagine seeing that as a six year old – no wonder I have tried to avoid the book of Revelation pretty much since then. (Aside: I have heard people speculate that Barack Obama may be the Antichrist…My answer to that is – why the black man gotta be the Antichrist? I mean…)

    By the end of Revelation, however, John, who wrote the book, describes his vision of heaven. He said “it shown with the glory of God, and its brilliance was like that of a very precious jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal.”  According to John, the sun or moon are obsolete in heaven as “the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp.” There will be no need for health or life insurance (Thank You Jesus!) as “there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things have passed away.”

    So when is this post going to get fun and whimsical? Keep reading! 🙂  As the daughter of a pastor, I have heard many a gospel song over the years – one in particular comes to mind. I remember riding with my father to church one Sunday and this song came on, Walk Around Heaven, by Cassietta George. In the song, George said in Heaven, every day will be Sunday…I remember telling my father just then that if in Heaven, every day is Sunday, I just as soon not go. He laughed and asked me to explain why.  Here’s the thing. I truly enjoy going to church on Sunday, and on some Sundays, I love going to church. But when it’s time to go, I leave and sometimes very happily… I just want don’t want heaven to be an eternal church service where we are reading scripture, passing the offering plate, listening to long, rambling testimonies, listening for when the pastor is going to shut down the sermon, wondering why our pantyhose is itching, etc.

    I want Heaven to be like a tropical island – a place where the water is so blue that it is nearly indistinguishable from the sky. I want to be able to walk up right up to God and talk to Him as long as I want to about anything that comes to mind. Why didn’t Erik Estrada from “CHiPs” marry me when I was a little girl? Why are some really mean people rich and some really nice people poor? Why does there have to be war? And for goodness sake, who let the dogs out? (Yes, I’m being silly) I hope in heaven everyone is their best self – whatever that means. And I hope we’re not just spirits walking around in heaven. I hope that we still have our bodies – toned up though.  And I hope there is male and female for reasons I won’t go into here, ha, ha…

    So what is your idea of Heaven?  When I listen to that song, Zoom, by the Commodores, I think of Heaven…It’s a beautiful song really. Uh, oh, I can hear you singing, “Zoom, Zoom.” 🙂

    Any Thoughts?