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    jackieholness

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    Lead By Example – Black Men Represent, Represent!

    Hello World!!!

    I love me some black men! I will say it again: I love me some black men! Now before you think this is a post about dating, let me stop you right now! No, it isn’t. However, the subject of love and relationships may enter this post. But as much as I love the brothers, I feel like SOME of the brothers could do better in a few areas. Read on before you get mad. 🙂

    I, like many other black Americans, am still grappling with the fact that the president-elect of the United States of America is a black man. (Yes, I know that he is officially biracial as many would like to note, but y’all know the deal…) And so, there must be a legion of lessons to glean from this most incredible moment in history.

    What comes to mind at this moment is how President-Elect Barack Obama’s background mirrors the stories of many in the black community and he has still managed to make it to the highest office in the land. First of all, he is the product of a single parent household. I cannot vouch for other areas of the U.S., but in the A, many, if not most, of the black men I come across are the product of single parent households. Though my father is Jamaican, he is also the product of a single parent household. And by single parent, I’m talking about a single mother. At various forums and in personal conversations, I have heard and believe that growing up without your father, particularly for men, can really impede a person’s progress in a variety of areas. But with Barack’s example, I hope that black men who suffer from this deficit realize that they, too, can rise above their personal history and “jump at de sun.”

    With Barack as an example, I hope that black men start to realize that marriage isn’t the kiss of death. According to a very vocal and dear friend of mine, she thinks there is some sort of disconnect when it comes to black men and marriage. She constantly tells me that in working in her profession, she has noticed that marriage for white men is like a rite of passage starting anywhere from age 25 or so and up. It’s just understood that an average white man will get married, and marriage is probably a rung on the ladder of success for him. For black men, she noted, marriage is like a hit or miss endeavor in which an average black woman has to engage in a game of “catch me if you can.”  Well black men, take a look at Barack, having Michelle at his side has definitely been an asset – don’t you agree?

    And while we’re on the subject of our First Lady-Elect, Michelle Obama, I want to point out a gripe I’ve heard from black men. I was told very recently by a black man that part of the reason that black men sometimes don’t want to get married in the same way that white men get married is that black women tend to be unwilling to submit in a marriage whereas white women are more compliant. Umm, I don’t know for sure obviously, but I don’t think that Mrs. Obama is waiting for husband to get home so that she can say “whatever you like” like that woman in the movie, “Coming to America.” She may even be “running things” while making her huzzband feel like he’s really the one in charge. (Aside: If I were Michelle, I would go on up to my nearby flea market and order me a red baby doll T with words ‘Mrs. Commander-In-Chief’ printed on the front, but I digress, I digress.) Here’s the deal, due to slavery and other remnant societal conditions, black women have had to be more assertive and black men have been made to feel less than, but we can still do this. Yes, we can!

    And let’s put this baby mama and baby daddy stuff behind us, if you big and bad enough to make a baby with somebody, be big and bad enough to stay with that somebody and create a family. (I know this is impossible and even unfavorable in some cases, but do your best.)  Being a part of an intact family is truly a beautiful though imperfect thing. Even at this age, it’s comforting to know that I can stop by our family home and that both my Mom and my Dad will be there to support and encourage me. Families are the fabric of this society, I am starting to learn. And don’t we have the most precious first family! (At least as of Jan. 20!) Sasha and Malia are sooo adorable! Every child deserves to have the covering of a mother and father!

    I could say a tad more, but I’m sleepy!

    Any thoughts?

    P.S. This poem by one of my favorite poets, Nikki Giovanni, is a bit outdated, but I love its message. I love black men. Take a listen. Ms. Giovanni once sent me a card in which she complimented a poem I wrote about being stood up. I was in early ’20s. It really happened:)

     

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    Dreams Do Come True…Yes, We Can!

    Hello World!!!

    Obviously, the news of the day, maybe even the century, is that Senator Barack Obama is now President-Elect Barack Obama…I can scarcely take it in…Thankfully, I don’t expect that anyone will be calling me at 3 a.m. tonight as I am blogging away and unprepared to think about anything except for the magnitude of this moment! (Get it? Let me know.)

    I, like many other Atlantans, felt the urge to usher in this historical occasion at church, specifically Ebenezer Baptist Church, the home church of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  I wanted to ponder the dream and the dreamer!

    So because it is late, and I actually do have to do some work tomorrrow, I will attempt to share some of the memorable moments of the election prayer rally.  Again, this is not a journalistic masterpiece, just some snippets that I happened to write down. (Be nice:)

    Like any good service, the choir ignited the crowd by singing songs well known in the black church including, “Victory is Mine,” “This is the Day That the Lord has Made,” and “He Has Made Me Glad.” After the therapeutic praise session, Rev. Raphael G. Warnock, senior pastor of Ebenezer said to all of us, “Why of all the places we can be tonight, why would we be in church?  Because we know how we got here. We’ve come this far by faith! We’ve come tonight to thank God for this moment, to thank our ancestors for this moment, to thank God for the life and memory…of Rev. Martin Luther King.” Warnock invoked the names of Fannie Lou Hamer, Schwerner, Chaney & Goodman and John Lewis. Finally, he said that we’ve gone from “Bloody Sunday to Triumphant Tuesday!”

    Throughout the night, spontaneous chants of “Yes, We Can!” threatened to stop and did stop many of the speeches from the pulpit.

    Rev. Al Sharpton asked Martin Luther King III and Bernice King to come to the pulpit as he spoke in an effort to “honor our mother and father so that our days will be long.” He referenced Mrs. Coretta Scott King and Dr. King as a mother and father in the Civil Rights Movement, and said their work made it possible for Obama to be judged by the content of his character rather than the color of his skin. He led the crowd in a rendition of “Amen” – you know that song when the soloist says something like “Amen. Let the church say…” And the crowd responds “Amen.” One of his verses of was “Yes, We can y’all.” Finally, he said, “We started at the outhouse and now we going to the White House.” (Let the church say, “Amen!”)

    John Lewis relieved some moments from the Selma to Montgomery march, but one of those spontaneous chants interrupted him. Oh yeah, let me not forget that two humungous screen TVs were set up at the front of the church for everyone to watch the results on CNN.

    Bernice King shared a now remarkable memory with the audience. She recalled a conversation she had with her mother following the Democratic National Convention at which Obama was first introduced to the country. Mrs. King told her daughter via phone, “I think we’ve got somebody.”

    Bishop Eddie Long said we “wouldn’t have jack” without the Civil Rights Movement. (He was referencing the ‘palatial palace’ that is the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church campus.)

    Judge Greg Mathis, who got more applause than some of the pastors, said Obama’s greatest victory in the whole change campaign was the change he inspired “in the hearts and minds of those who once oppressed us.” “We must now do our part by dropping our guns and picking up our books and joining the movement of justice.” He asked the sisters to “demand respect” from men, and he asked the men to “Stand Up, Man Up or Shut Up.” (I didn’t say it. He did.) He said that he could say that because he has street cred. If I heard him correctly, he said he was once in jail and 15 years after leaving jail, he became the youngest judge in the country.

    I must have heard that song, “Never Would Have Made It,” at least three times during the night. Me and the funny man sitting next to me don’t care if we hear that song again for at least a few days, ha,ha! He would probably say longer, but I like the song actually.

    Byron Cage sang “The Presence of the Lord is Here.” It was like a rock concert with black people.

    Dorothy Norwood said she sang a remix of “Victory is Mine” just for Obama. Someone from the crowd yelled “REMIX” like they were Puffy (P. Diddy or Diddy or whatever he calls himself now) or something as she started to sing. Can y’all believe that Dorothy Norwood said, “Remix?” She said the new version is in stores as of today.

    When CNN reporters announced that Obama won the election, I alternated between jumping up and down like I was on “The Price is Right” and falling to my knees. Consequently, I stopped taking notes.

    Other dignitaries at the rally included: Dottie Peoples, Deanna Brown (daughter of James Brown), SCLC officials, Andrew Young, Rev. Joseph Lowery and Christine Farris (Dr.King’s sister). Rev. Warnock said Jennifer Holiday would be performing later in the evening, but that did not happen by the end of the rally.

    America’s first black president… “my soul looks back in wonder…”

    Any thoughts?

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    God’s Economy: A Tale of Joe – The Mechanic

    Hello World!!!

    Whew! We have an extra hour of sleep today, but alas, since I am writing this post, I will have to catch my zzzs later!

    With the election just over two days away (Thank You Jesus!), I thought I would tell my story about a Joe I know. Instead of Joe the Plumber, however, my Joe is Joe the Mechanic! Yes, his name is really Joe! I once read a Christian book years years ago, Knight in Shining Armor by P.B. Wilson, in which Wilson described “God’s Economy.” As our Provider, according to Wilson, one of the ways that God provides for us is through Gifts-in-Kind, which is “goods or services that God gave you through other people. For example, you moved into a new apartment and the manager waived your security deposit of $200.” After I read this passage, I started looking for ways that God blessed me with breaks through random people.

    So nearly 10 years ago, I was sitting in a Honda dealership staring blankly into space as I pondered how I was going to cough up the $500 or so, maybe even a bit more, that I would need to pay to get my cracked head gasket in my black Civic (R.I.P. Black Beauty) fixed. After a few minutes, I figured that I would just ask my Dad to pay for it and pay him back later. However, as I stared, this woman came over to me said something like, “You know I heard them tell you how much it was going to cost to fix your car and that was outrageous! You know what I do? I just bring my car to the dealership and let them tell me what’s wrong with it, and then I bring it to my mechanic, Joe. And he fixes it for a whole lot cheaper. He’s a certified mechanic, and he’s honest. I can give you his pager number if you like.”

    I looked at the woman and said, “Thank you. I will probably get the dealership to fix my car this time, but I will keep his number for the future.” So the woman wrote down his number on a slip of paper and handed it to me. I’m not the type of person that goes around getting recommendations from people for various services, but for some reason I just knew that I would be calling this Joe the mechanic in the future. And since my Civic was getting old at that point and it was nearly paid for (y’all know how that is), all kinds of stuff started malfuctioning and Joe became my mechanic. I would go to the dealership to get the problem diagnosed and then I would bring my car over to Joe’s house where he would fix the problem for a fraction of the cost quoted to me.

    If you’ve been anywhere near my car lately, you have heard the brakes squeaking, and since I recently have come back from two trips, I didn’t want to think about shelling out more cash to get them fixed. So what has been my antidote? Y’all, I promise you that I have just been turning up my radio and acting like I don’t hear anything. And then when you have the nerve to look at me crazy while my car is squawking, I just start moving my lips like I’m singing the song playing on the radio and I don’t see you. (Wow, I was crazy embarassed while I was backing out of a long driveway last weekend, and my car was squawking the whole way. It would have been cool if people hadn’t come out of the house to help me back out because apparently, it is still a challenge for me.)

    Anywho, when I went to the Honda dealership last week to get my oil changed, the oh-so concerned mechanic guy comes over to me in the waiting area and gives me a shopping list of services that need to be done ASAP. When I just stare at him expressionless and he realizes that I will not be buying into his hysterics, he said, “Well I know you heard those breaks squeaking and they do need to be fixed immediately.” I said, “I have, and I know they need to be fixed. Ima get my mechanic friend to fix them this weekend.”  “If they can last that long,” he said loudly. (He ain have to say that like that.) Then he gives me a sheet of paper outlining the costs of his recommendations. I hone in on the cost to fix the front brakes: $199 plus tax. Relatively speaking $200 is not a large amount of money, but when you have other pending bills – (In a perfect world, the speed limit would always be 80 mph on the highway…), you have to watch yourself.

    So that was Monday. So I finally called Joe on Thursday. (ever the procrastinator!) I told Joe what was up with my brakes.

    “So much you gon charge me Joe,” I said to him.

    “$50,” he replied. (Side note – Joe always tells me what parts to buy at AutoZone, and he just charges me for the labor!)

    “Really,” I said. “If I knew that it was going to be that cheap, I would have called you a while ago.”

    He just chuckled in his men-don’t-like-to-waste-words way.

    And since we’ve become friends over the years, sometimes he just comes to my house, picks up my car and takes it back to his house to fix like he did yesterday morning. And yes, he likes to flirt with me and occasionally ask me out, but it’s all good. He’s not pushy or anything so I say something like “Stop playin’,” and that’s enough for him to not ask me out again until the next time I see him. Of course, recently, he told me that I was probably too old for him now. However, he added that since I look younger than my age, he could make an exception for me…

    So there you have it. In God’s Economy, He loves to bless you through other people. So it’s not only about what you think you have, it’s also about what God has… The possibilities are endless! That’s comforting to remember in these turbulent economic times…

    Any thoughts?

    P.S. That picture is not actually a pic of Joe!