Category Archives: Relationships

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Let’s Stay Together?

“Let’s, we oughta stay together,
Loving you whether, whether,
Times are good or bad, happy or sad.”

Al Green in “Let’s Stay Together”

Hello World!

I don’t know about you, but about two Fridays ago, I was up at 4 a.m. watching Kate Middleton, now Catherine, marrying Prince William. I thought the media focused too much on the event in the months leading up to the big day, but the romantic in me was lured to the wedding nonetheless. As I watched the royal pageantry unfold and reflected on one of my favorite stories as a child, “Cinderella,” I could not tear myself away from the television although I had to turn a big project to turn in that day.

Although I was happy for the royal couple, I also could not help but think of the last wedding that captured that much attention: the wedding of Princess Di and Prince Charles. And we know how that ended. I remember watching the wedding with my mother, and although I did not completely understand what was going on, I remember thinking it seemed like a fairy tale unfolding in front of my eyes. I remember being captivated by Princess Di’s wedding ring – the one that Princess Catherine now wears today. And yet their marriage ended horribly. I wish Princess Catherine and Prince William the best, but I do wonder if they will stay together.

Stateside, we have no royalty, but the family that seems to command the most attention other than the Obamas is the Kennedys. When it was announced yesterday that Maria Shriver, a member of the Kennedy family, and former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger are separated after 25 years of marriage, I began wondering what does it take for couples to really last till death do them part…I mean how bad could have it have been to separate after spending almost half of their lives together at this point? I read in an article that the recent deaths of Shriver’s uncle and father and rumors of affairs Schwarzenegger allegedy had with other women could could have contributed to the decision to separate.

As someone who has been a commitmentphobe, news like this and the divorce rate in this country makes me wonder what are the ingredients of a marital coupling that really has lifetime staying power…What do you think?

Any thoughts?

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Alice May, It’s Your Day (Happy Mother’s Day to All Mothers)

Hell World,

You know what it is…It’s that special day each year that is set aside to honor the women who not only gave birth us but give their lives for us if we’re lucky and blessed…I am…and so today, I must honor Alice May, my mama!

I’ve been thinking for the last few weeks what should be the focus of today’s post…Yesterday, I went to Southwest Regional Library on Cascade Road to see Atlanta’s Georgia Peach Authors which includes Dwan Abrams, Kendra Norman-Bellamy, Jean Holloway, Gail McFarland, Marisa Monteilh and Electa Rome Parks. It was the first stop on their 2011 tour. Anyway, McFarland, a romance novelist, talked about her blog named Mamaknology which is dedicated to the wise sayings that her mama told her. One of her wise sayings was, “Don’t show the best of what you have to the worst of the world.” Translation: Don’t wear a skirt so short that any and everybody can see your stuff…Wise stuff fo sho…I thought about writing a post about my own my mamaknology, but my mama doesn’t really deliver one-liners like that so I decided not to attempt to bite McFarland’s wonderful idea…

But as is the case for much of my life (and since this is a primarily a religious blog), I found inspiration within the pages of  The Holy Bible…You have probably heard of the Proverbs 31 woman, the bout it bout it wife and mother who is so accomplished from her business to her home life that she must be a myth…Well, I know it’s true because it describes my mother…So indulge me as I rewrite its words, Proverbs 31: 10-31,  to describe my mother…

10 A wife of noble character who can find? 
   Look no further than Alice May Holness. She is worth far more than the fattest platinum diamond ring.
11 Her husband, Dr. Denzil D. Holness, has full confidence in her
   and has anything that a husband could ever want…
12 She brings out the best in him and supports him
   all the days of her life.
13 She is an old school mama that knows how to sew and works with eager hands to make her home a sanctuary.
14 She is like the semi-trailer trucks that crisscross the nation,
   bringing her food from afar from from the DeKalb Farmers Market to her network of Jamaican friends.
15 She goes to bed late and gets up early;
   she provides home-cooked food for her family almost nearly every day
   and has enough left over to give to her friends.
16 She has been selling Avon for decades;
   out of her side hustle she provides extra money for her household.
17 She relishes working hard even though she is retired now,
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She knows that she is working for her family and the Lord,
   and she stays up working later than anyone in her house.
19 She can sew an outfit as easily
   and as she knits together her family.
20 She is always ready to give away something to somebody
   and the trunk of her car is where she stores much of her impromptu inventory .
21 When it snows in Atlanta (which is rare) or the weather is just bad, she has no fear for her household; because her shelves are well stocked and she even has a kerosene lamp
22 She has clean bed linens always ready to be used;
   she is clothed in her best on Sundays.
23 Dr. Holness is respected among men at church,
   where he takes his seat among the deacons and other leaders at the church.
24 She volunteers in Jamaica every summer teaching children at a Vacation Bible School,
   and supplies all the children with arts and crafts, clothing and other items she lovingly collects and brings from the United States.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She tells it like it is so if you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t step to her.
27 She manages her household
   and even takes care of her grandchildren nearly every weekend.
28 My brothers and I arise and call my mother blessed;
   Dr. Holness, my father, does too, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have it going on,
   but you surpass them all Mama.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give it up for Alice May because today is her day…

Any thoughts?

P.S. I love this Boyz II Men Song “A Song For Mama”…

P.P.S. I wrote another post about my mother two years which ago which features some really cool pics from back in the day…

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Single No More: The Movement…

Hello World!

My big project is due in just about two weeks so if I happen to pass through your mind in the new two weeks, pray for my inspiration and dedication…and on April 30, I will be in jubilation baby! Yeah!

Alrighty, so on to today’s post…I love talking about romantic love, dating, marriage, etc. Peruse my blog, and you will probably see more posts about these topics than any other so I am always fascinated when I read about a new spin on these topics, or a new book, or a new ministry…Today’s post falls in the last category…Atlanta resident April Mason is an evangelist and author who is encouraging women to take control of their singleness and be single no more! Hallelujah and Thank You Jesus! She is hosting her debut “Single No More” event on April 26 at the TWELVE Hotel, 400 W. Peachtree St., Atlanta, Ga. 30308 at 6:30 p.m. I interviewed her about the event and her ministry to single women.

1. What is the “Single No More” concept? How, when and why did you come up with this concept? 

“Single No More” was a God-given idea that was shown to me in a dream last year. It was also around the time that I decided to make room in my own life for love. Sometimes, we can get too busy and neglect that part of our lives. I asked God if the time was now, and the next thing I knew I was getting calls from radio stations across the country to talk about how to date after being broken and sexual abuse. I’m an advocate for adults that have been sexually abused so it wasn’t unusual to get the calls to come on the radio to talk about it. It was just so many all at once I knew then that was the time.

However, I realize that being molested plays a huge role in why a lot of women can’t seem to have productive relationships. With one in four girls being molested by the age of 18, I’m sure this has affected a lot of women including me tremendously. The whole purpose of “Single No More” is to empower women to take control of their singleness, release the past hurts, traumas and position themselves to be found. Even God said “it isn’t good for man to be alone.” We always hear about how Ruth was found busy by Boaz, but we don’t hear about how she strategically positioned herself on purpose to meet Boaz. A lot of women are busy, but are either in the wrong man’s field or not in the field at all. Just busy lol! It’s safe to say that I’m bridging the gap between the “he who finds a wife” and the “she who positions herself to be found.” Women get stuck on the “he who finds a wife” scripture thinking that the man has to approach them, and all they have to do is sit around and wait to be picked like a piece of cotton. That isn’t true!

2. Tell me more about the “Single No More” event on April 26.  What can people expect? Will this be a panel discussion? Is this a workshop? Will there be guests? Please explain.

No panel. You can get that at any singles workshop. All of the books that I’ve written are pretty much “how-to” books. I’m a “let-me-show-you- how” type of teacher, and the same approach is applied with “Single No More.” People want to know the “how-to” not why they aren’t meeting potential mates. I will be telling my story for the first 15 minutes then it’s straight boot camp. I’m going to be teaching: how to date, how to control your emotions, the top 10 unusual places to meet men, what it means to position yourself, dating doesn’t equal sex and much more.

3. Some people may be wondering how you can help them find a mate if you are single as well. What is your answer to these people?

Bishop T.D. Jakes has never been a woman, but God has given him the wisdom to show women how to get loose lol! Also, I haven’t always been single. I’ve been married so I know both sides.

4. Is this your first “Single No More” event? When and where is the next event?

Yes, the launch of “Single No More” will be in downtown Atlanta at the TWELVE Hotel Centennial Park. “Single No More” will be touring this summer starting in Nashville on July 15 at the World Baptist Center.

5. Since you are single, have you been able to meet some nice eligible men through your ministry? What are you looking for a mate?

Actually,  I’ve always met great guys before “Single No More,” I just wasn’t ready to settle down. Now that I’ve made a conscious decision that I want to get married again not only with my mouth, but with my mind, heart and how I operate my life,  I can say that I am meeting great guys! The funny thing is I’m a magnet for the single, never been married, no kids, successful, stable career men that want to get married. These are guys that women say don’t exist!

One would ask, so April what is your dilemma? Well honestly, I don’t want any more children. My kids are 17,15 and 13, and I’m looking for someone that feels the same. Other than the basics that we all want, I must have a supportive man. When you are a front-line person having the support of your mate is so important. I’ve been in a situation where the man I was seeing was extremely jealous of my success even though he was a very big wig in the city. I need someone that can accept me for me but can embrace my simplicities behind closed doors. I find that some men and women as well fall in love with the image of who a person is instead of who the person really is on the inside.

6. How do you host a “Single No More” event and earn cash?

A person or organization can host a “Single No More” event in their city and get 20 percent of the total ticket sales. We even fly ourselves in and take care of our own lodging. All a person really needs is a venue and 50 or more participants. They can find out more about that on our site www.singlenomoreonline.com.

7. Is there anything else you would like to share?

I believe that “Single No More” will bless a lot of women from all walks of life across this country. From the response that we’re getting, it already has. Also the “Single No More: Position Yourself to Be Found” video will be released soon. Thank you for allowing me to share on your platform. God bless you.

Any thoughts?