It’s We Thing, Not a Me Thing…

Hello World,

Well, ask and you shall receive…Last week, in my post “Let’s Stay Together?” I asked what could be so bad that would cause Arnold Schwarzenegger & Maria Shriver to separate after 25 years of marriage. A week later, I now know the answer to this question.  “The Adulterator” nee ” The Terminator” had admitted he “behaved badly sometimes” after being accused of “groping women” during his 2003 gubernatorial campaign, but what he admitted to yesterday is beyond behaving badly.  Schwarzenegger admitted that he fathered a child 14 years ago with a member of their household staff, and the woman just retired from working for the couple. The way he managed to keep an infidelity of such proportion from his wife and the public for this long is strictly gangsta! I feel sorry for Maria Shriver and their children as they deal with the fallout from this explosive revelation…

Yesterday, on my Facebook page, I pondered if there are certain men that are predisposed to be cheaters. I got many responses to my questions, but nothing that made me come to a conclusion. Maybe one day there will be a study on this topic, and maybe there has been but I haven’t bothered to research the topic. At any rate, after talking to a friend last night, it occurred to me that all of us are capable of grievous behavior. And conversely, we are also capable of greatly estimable acts. What makes us choose which way we will go?

I think accountability groups can help us become the person we could not become alone…For instance, every spring, I join the Jeff Galloway Training Program to get ready for the Peachtree Road Race, a 6.2-mile race that is held on July 4th each summer in Atlanta. Although I can train on my own, training with a group forces me to make my training a priority when it would be easier to not train and hope for the best on race day. Each week, I know that I must get in my weekly runs if I expect to be able to keep up my group each Saturday. And this year, I joined a faster group of runners so I defintely have to get my training in…

One of the benefits of getting older (not that I’m old) is knowing what works for you. Whenever I have wanted to learn a new skill or energize an area of my life, I have found that it is best to connect with another person or people for accountability…Since I am not married, I have not researched this, but I wonder if there are organized marriage accountability groups…Maybe there needs to be a marriage accountability group for rich, powerful men that would help them resist the temptations that men of that stature have to face…Maybe Schwarzenegger would have benefitted from such a group…

I have heard that accountability is one of the reasons that a witness must be present at a wedding. And when a couple chooses to get married in front of many witnesses, those chosen witnesses should help the couple remain true to the vows they made in front of them. There is something mysterious that happens when two or more people join together for a common cause…even the Word says so…

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20

Any thoughts?

P.S. This song seems to fit this morning….I love this song….Shout out to “Big Love”…”God Only Knows” by The Beach Boys…

Let’s Stay Together?

“Let’s, we oughta stay together,
Loving you whether, whether,
Times are good or bad, happy or sad.”

Al Green in “Let’s Stay Together”

Hello World!

I don’t know about you, but about two Fridays ago, I was up at 4 a.m. watching Kate Middleton, now Catherine, marrying Prince William. I thought the media focused too much on the event in the months leading up to the big day, but the romantic in me was lured to the wedding nonetheless. As I watched the royal pageantry unfold and reflected on one of my favorite stories as a child, “Cinderella,” I could not tear myself away from the television although I had to turn a big project to turn in that day.

Although I was happy for the royal couple, I also could not help but think of the last wedding that captured that much attention: the wedding of Princess Di and Prince Charles. And we know how that ended. I remember watching the wedding with my mother, and although I did not completely understand what was going on, I remember thinking it seemed like a fairy tale unfolding in front of my eyes. I remember being captivated by Princess Di’s wedding ring – the one that Princess Catherine now wears today. And yet their marriage ended horribly. I wish Princess Catherine and Prince William the best, but I do wonder if they will stay together.

Stateside, we have no royalty, but the family that seems to command the most attention other than the Obamas is the Kennedys. When it was announced yesterday that Maria Shriver, a member of the Kennedy family, and former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger are separated after 25 years of marriage, I began wondering what does it take for couples to really last till death do them part…I mean how bad could have it have been to separate after spending almost half of their lives together at this point? I read in an article that the recent deaths of Shriver’s uncle and father and rumors of affairs Schwarzenegger allegedy had with other women could could have contributed to the decision to separate.

As someone who has been a commitmentphobe, news like this and the divorce rate in this country makes me wonder what are the ingredients of a marital coupling that really has lifetime staying power…What do you think?

Any thoughts?

Alice May, It’s Your Day (Happy Mother’s Day to All Mothers)

Hell World,

You know what it is…It’s that special day each year that is set aside to honor the women who not only gave birth us but give their lives for us if we’re lucky and blessed…I am…and so today, I must honor Alice May, my mama!

I’ve been thinking for the last few weeks what should be the focus of today’s post…Yesterday, I went to Southwest Regional Library on Cascade Road to see Atlanta’s Georgia Peach Authors which includes Dwan Abrams, Kendra Norman-Bellamy, Jean Holloway, Gail McFarland, Marisa Monteilh and Electa Rome Parks. It was the first stop on their 2011 tour. Anyway, McFarland, a romance novelist, talked about her blog named Mamaknology which is dedicated to the wise sayings that her mama told her. One of her wise sayings was, “Don’t show the best of what you have to the worst of the world.” Translation: Don’t wear a skirt so short that any and everybody can see your stuff…Wise stuff fo sho…I thought about writing a post about my own my mamaknology, but my mama doesn’t really deliver one-liners like that so I decided not to attempt to bite McFarland’s wonderful idea…

But as is the case for much of my life (and since this is a primarily a religious blog), I found inspiration within the pages of  The Holy Bible…You have probably heard of the Proverbs 31 woman, the bout it bout it wife and mother who is so accomplished from her business to her home life that she must be a myth…Well, I know it’s true because it describes my mother…So indulge me as I rewrite its words, Proverbs 31: 10-31,  to describe my mother…

10 A wife of noble character who can find? 
   Look no further than Alice May Holness. She is worth far more than the fattest platinum diamond ring.
11 Her husband, Dr. Denzil D. Holness, has full confidence in her
   and has anything that a husband could ever want…
12 She brings out the best in him and supports him
   all the days of her life.
13 She is an old school mama that knows how to sew and works with eager hands to make her home a sanctuary.
14 She is like the semi-trailer trucks that crisscross the nation,
   bringing her food from afar from from the DeKalb Farmers Market to her network of Jamaican friends.
15 She goes to bed late and gets up early;
   she provides home-cooked food for her family almost nearly every day
   and has enough left over to give to her friends.
16 She has been selling Avon for decades;
   out of her side hustle she provides extra money for her household.
17 She relishes working hard even though she is retired now,
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She knows that she is working for her family and the Lord,
   and she stays up working later than anyone in her house.
19 She can sew an outfit as easily
   and as she knits together her family.
20 She is always ready to give away something to somebody
   and the trunk of her car is where she stores much of her impromptu inventory .
21 When it snows in Atlanta (which is rare) or the weather is just bad, she has no fear for her household; because her shelves are well stocked and she even has a kerosene lamp
22 She has clean bed linens always ready to be used;
   she is clothed in her best on Sundays.
23 Dr. Holness is respected among men at church,
   where he takes his seat among the deacons and other leaders at the church.
24 She volunteers in Jamaica every summer teaching children at a Vacation Bible School,
   and supplies all the children with arts and crafts, clothing and other items she lovingly collects and brings from the United States.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She tells it like it is so if you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t step to her.
27 She manages her household
   and even takes care of her grandchildren nearly every weekend.
28 My brothers and I arise and call my mother blessed;
   Dr. Holness, my father, does too, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have it going on,
   but you surpass them all Mama.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give it up for Alice May because today is her day…

Any thoughts?

P.S. I love this Boyz II Men Song “A Song For Mama”…

P.P.S. I wrote another post about my mother two years which ago which features some really cool pics from back in the day…