Posted on

Two Steps Forward…One Step Back.

Hello World!!!

A friend of mine told me last night that he noticed I hadn’t been updating my blog as much as I usually do. I was so touched. Someone missed me…I hope you’ve missed me too! I haven’t been updating as much as I should this month…maybe more about that later 🙂

So here’s the topic – What is your secret struggle? What is the area of your life in which you take two steps forward only to take one step back? For the divine Ms. O, Oprah Winfrey that is, her weight is her not-so-secret struggle although she wishes it were a secret!  She recently admitted that she has gained 40 pounds since 2006 which puts her weight at a solid 200 pounds. On the January issue of “O” magazine, it features a picture of the 200-pound Oprah looking at the 160-pound Oprah! I really, really, really feel for her!

I have never been obese, but I have struggled with body image issues pretty much since I realized I had a body! I apologize to those who knew me from age 20-25, my favorite question to ask was, “Do you think I look fat?” I swear if I could retrieve the brain cells I devoted to my weight, I would probably have enough to have won the Pulitzer Prize by now! Thank God I now I have a reasonably stable body image, and I no longer feel the need to weigh myself several times a day!!! How did I get rid of this demon? God..and like Forest Gump says, “That’s all I have to say about that.”

So again, what is your secret struggle? I love the story about the  woman at the well in the Bible!  It seems that she was a love and relationship addict! (Theologians, you will correct me if I’m wrong, I’m sure!)  When she met Jesus, she had already had FIVE husbands, and the man she was living with at the time she met the Lord wasn’t even her husband!  She thought her issues were a secret, but the Lord called her out! That day, that woman thought she was coming to the well to get regular old water, but instead, her thirst for real love was quenched that day…Praise Jesus!!!

I think Zacchaeus had a Napolean complex.  As a result, he had chosen a career in which he dominated people, but secretly, he longed to have self esteem that was based on his inner worth rather than his job. And Jesus, being the Lord that He is, got it.  He told him he was worthy of salvation! Praise Him 2x!

I think the man with one talent had the insidious habit of comparing himself to others. It seems to me that he constantly compared himself to the man who had five talents and the man who had two talents. Rather than get into the comparison game, these two men worked hard with what they had and were able to double their talents. The man with one talent, however, seemed to be ashamed of his one talent and hit it in the ground. Unlike the other stories, however, this story didn’t end well. The one talent the man had was taken away from him and given to the man who had 10 talents because he failed to use it.  Sad, huh!  (My father’s antidote to this behavior is, “Keep your eyes on your own plate!” But Praise God 3x anyway just because HE is WORTHY!

So again, what is your secret struggle? And how do you deal with it? Please post your comments!!! You don’t have to post your name!!!

Any Thoughts???

(Aside: If you’re in the Denver, Colorado area, check out my friend, Soul Daddy!  His album release party is tomorrow!!! Congratulations!!! You go boy!!! 🙂 )

P.P.S. I have included a Rev. Paul Jones classic, “I Won’t Complain.”  It doesn’t fit this post, but for some reason the song is on my mind this morning. According to what I read, this amazing talent was killed when he was 30 years old!

Posted on

Love Actually…

Hello World!!!

I have missed you sooo much! I’ve been working on a freelance assignment that has been sucking all of my creative juice and left me little time to wax whimsical on this blog. But this morning, I have put my foot down. I must write. You need for me to write…not hardly, I know. I need for me to write….

Anywho, if you haven’t noticed (I’m sure that you have.), it is now “the most wonderful time of the year” also known as the Christmas season. It is the season that everyone races each other in the malls to see who can get the biggest and brightest baubles and assemble them under the Christmas tree. It is the season in which families strive to put grudges aside to have that perfect Christmas. It is the season in which you are likely to hear the strains of Christmas music everywhere you go whether you want to or not. It is the season that new couples fall into like, lust or love. It is the season that old couples rekindle old flames. It is the seasons of really good Christmas plays and really awful ones. It is the season in which we are celebrate the birth of the Lord Jesus Christ!

I love Christmas! I really do, but if you’re anything like me, you can get lost in the festivity and by the time January rolls around, you wonder if you’ve even remembered much less pondered the real “reason for the season.” Being the romantic that I am, my mind always drifts to love during this season. I would like to say that I am thinking about the love of Jesus, but the Lord knows my heart…I am typically thinking of the love between a man and woman and how nice it would be to experience all of the sights and sounds of Christmas with my boo.

I remember one Christmas in my ’20s, I was dating this creative type. (I won’t tell what type of creativity he dabbles in lest those who know me guess the identity of this man.) Actually, we had just started dating that November to our surprise. (We were friends and happened to fall onto each other’s lips one night!) Anyway, it was all turning out beautifully. He escorted me to my company Christmas party without me having to twist his arm. We drove all around Atlanta going to malls and looking at stuff. Neither of us had very much money then so a lot of our dates consisted of window shopping.

We weren’t actually going to see each other on Christmas day as my family typically travels to see family. But I asked him to come over just before we left because I wanted to give him a gift. I wasn’t sure if he had gotten me anything, but I hoped he had. Since we had just started dating a month earlier, I wasn’t sure what to get him. If I got him something fairly expensive, he might think that I was into him too much. And if I didn’t get him something fairly nice, he might think that I didn’t care very much about him at all. I think I got him a couple of gifts. One of them was a skull cap. I used to date hip hop guys back then so it fit into his wardrobe. It was personal without being too personal, I figured. I could hardly wait to see his gift for me and figure out what it meant.

Within the first chime of the doorbell, I opened the door to let my creative type in. After exchanging a few pleasantries, we exchanged gifts. And we opened them in front of each other. He really liked my gift. His gift to me, however, left me unable to speak for a minute. He got me the “The Best of Donny Hathaway” tape. He instructed me to listen specifically to  “A Song for You.” His gift had trumped mine as far as meaning and intention. Just in the few months I had known him, I knew that that Donny Hathaway was one of his favorite, if not all time favorite, singers. As soon as he left, I listened to the song in my Walkman. Here are a few lines from the song.

I love you in a place where there’s no space or time
I love you for in my life you are a friend of mine
And when my life is over
Remember when we were together
We were alone and I was singing this song for you
We were alone and I was singing this song for you

Y’all know I was so gone, right?  I knew he wasn’t saying that he loved me or anything, but I knew he could go there. To this day, it was the best gift I’ve ever received from a guy! (Shoot, maybe I need to go back to creative types!)

But I know that romantic love isn’t the reason for the season although it’s a wonderful time to be in love. The reason for the season as well know is Jesus! This verse gets me in the proper Christmas mood!

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

James 1:17

I suspect that that being in a long-term romantic love relationship is similar to having a lifelong relationship with the Father. You have to find new ways to jazz it up or it gets boring and stale. Here’s the truth of the matter. I’ve been in and witnessed countless Christmas plays. The whole Nativity scene…just doesn’t do it for me really. (Please don’t throw rocks at me!)  A few years back, I decided that instead of focusing on God’s gift to all of us, Jesus, I would focus on giving gifts back to Him. I decided that I would give Him three gifts – one for the Father, one for the Son and one for the Holy Spirit. Of course, I cannot physically hand gifts to the Father, but I do come up with ways to show that I care for Him and others. I won’t tell you exactly how lest I be guilty of Matthew 6:1-4. I don’t do this every Christmas, but when I have, I feel an overwhelming love in my chest that even trumps romantic love. I wonder if it is an inkling of what the Father feels for us…

I doubt I will experience romantic love this Christmas. Some would say this is a choice I’ve made, but I won’t get into that here.  🙂 But I do plan to experience love this Christmas – the love that you feel when you focus on giving rather than receiving.

To borrow a line from my favorite Christmas move, “Love Actually,” “if you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually is all around.”

I so love Christmas!

Any Thoughts?

P.S. A friend of mine recently told me that Christmas songs after 1985 are no good. That may be generally true, but I love this one! And it came out in 1994! Thanks MC!

Posted on

101 Reasons To Be Thankful in 2008

Hello World!

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!!! As you know, tomorrow is the day that we Americans have set aside to give thanks for our many blessings!!!

“Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His. We are His people, the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; Give thanks to Him and praise His name!”

Psalm 100: 4-5

My dad, Dr. Holness, preached on Psalm 100 on Sunday. (Yes dad, I was listening! 🙂 ) I don’t know about you but I am prone to having pity parties every now and then. Usually these parties are prompted by my comparing my insides to someone else’s outsides – it never works! But what does work – what helps me regain my equilibrium – is writing a gratitude list! So in this post, I will simply list 101 things I’m thankful for this year. Why 101? Why not? 🙂 …101 just sounds better than 100 to me anyway.

1. For my Lord and Savior, who is none other than Jesus Christ – my best friend. If you see my mouth moving in car, sometimes I am singing along with a song and sometimes, I am talking with Him!

2. For my Mom and Dad. They have taught me to be a person of character even when it is unpopular. (I am trying to be as service-oriented as they are, but I’ve got a ways to go.)

3. For my brothers D and D. They have brought a lot of joy and pain to my life..as Frankie Beverly so sweetly croons, they are “one in the same.”

4. For my niece and nephew. My 7-year-old nephew’s mischievousness is both maddening and hilarious at the same time! My baby niece is just learning to walk. The wonder of it…

5. My church in the SWATS. I’ve been attending there since I was 6 years old, and I always feel safe when I walk in it’s doors.

6. My church family. You’ve watched me grow up and you still love me!

7. My girl J, who freely opened up her home in North Carolina to me.

8. My health. According to my doctor, the only thing wrong with me, at least physically, is that I have low iron. That’s a blessing for sure!

9. All my girls (you know who you are) who help me navigate this single life.

10. My job! No more needs to be said!

11. My Bible Study class led by our fearless and mouthy Bible warrior!

12. My blog. I love it!

13. My girl Tess, who designed this blog.

14. The cruise I went on in October! Wish I were in the islands now…it’s so cold!!!

15. Turning 35…I still look good!

16. For my home. I can afford it!

17. For my car. I can afford it!

18. For my spiritual community. Y’all have taught me more than I can say…

19. For Barack and Michelle…

20. For this year’s election process, it was heady in every way…I think I have a crush on Anderson Cooper!

21. Black talk radio – it gets me through the day!

22. My cherry red locks…I think they are pretty.

23. All of my extended family, particularly my aunt, who I run with from time to time 🙂

25. The Internet – You are never far from me 🙂

26. RH, my friend who came in at the last minute and designed my church’s Homecoming Service magazine, to my mother’s delight! You saved us!

27. For Beyonce and Jay-Z, who show me that being “equally yoked” is entirely possible. Can y’all say, “mo money, mo money mo money?”

28. For QT – love those taquitos!

29. For U, who doesn’t mind crying with me every now then! Love you girl

30. For my freelance writing opportunities…

31. Books. I couldn’t live without them.

32. My mechanic- See my post on Joe, the mechanic!

33. My girl Renee’s wedding – Your were lovely in your wedding dress! And I hope I get a ring like yours one day. Ballin’!!!

34. “The Young and the Restless.” One of my favorite shows since I was six years old!

35. My girl C, who doesn’t think I’m weird when I tell her about my spiritual dreams and nudgings…

36. My neighbor’s little son who says, “Hello Miss Jackie,” when I get home from work nearly every day at least when it’s warm outside. At least someone is glad to see me come home…

37. My laugh. Thankfully, God has gifted me with the ability to find humor in most things!

38. The A, shawty. For all of its ups and downs, it is still my city!

39. Idris Elba. How fine is he?

40. Chastain Park – Jill Scott turned it out there this summer.

41. My mentor, Ms. B. Your relationship with God is inspiring!

42. For A aka SD, I didn’t feel so alone the other day because of you! You are a true friend!

43. For all the support I have received on this blog. Y’all encourage me to keep expressing myself!

44. My classes at L.A. Fitness. I feel like I’m a video dancer when I’m teaching. No matter what anyone says it is a not-so-secret dream of mine to be a dancer in a video. Am I the only one that LOVES the video for “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)?”

45. My bank account…touch (go head and touch the computer screen) and agree with me that it will get bigger in 2009, but of course, I’m thankful for how God has already blessed me because y’all know in this economy, it could be much worse!

46. Candles…they make me feel like I’m having a romantic evening when I am dating no one 🙁

47. My other mentor, also a Ms. B, who is the real “straight talk express!”

48. My journals…you lead me back to my best self and remind me of how God really does love me…

49. Romance – although you have left my life at the moment, I sense that you will be back in 2009!

50. Life itself – ever an adventure…

Yeah, I know I’ve only reached 50, but I can’t write anymore…

What are you thankful for?

Any thoughts!