Hello World, 

This week has been an eventful one…in my mind…Between planning my (our) wedding and stressing about it, my emotional world can go from jubilation to desperation in seconds…I’m trying my best to not make this blog about all things wedding and marriage planning, but for the next few months or so, these two areas will be uppermost in my mind as we prepare to join two into one…

A few weeks ago, I was stressing about the high costs of weddings nowadays in “The Wedding Industry Heist aka maybe I should go in the wedding planning business” and now I’m trying to discern what vendors I need to choose outside of the costs…It can be incredibly stressful, and yet it can be so much fun putting together all of the details that comprise the wedding day you’ve always dreamed of…The funny thing about it all is that I’m not of one of those women that has EVER dreamed about a wedding day. I’ve always dreamed of having that perfect relationship/marriage for a lifetime, but the wedding day stuff seemed like it was just fairy tale fluff for annoying women that been have dreaming of being princesses since they read Cinderella.

But now that I have started planning it all, I have become a bridezilla, obsessed with making sure every detail is right and cost effective…LOL…After I finish my work/chores, etc. each night, I find myself spending hours on the Internet, trolling wedding websites like Black Bridal Bliss and The Bride’s Cafe…I’ve even stayed up for almost the whole night on more than one occasion as I have planned certain details…I’m trying to not beat myself up too much about it though because I tend to throw myself in various projects as I work toward a deadline…When I was planning for the release of my book a couple of years ago, I was pretty much the same way…However, this time, it is not a book, it is about a wedding day AND marriage…

Yes, so it’s not all about me anymore…It’s also about my fiance’ too….as we get closer and closer to the BIG DAY, I’m realizing that I really need to work on compromising…when you have been on your own and making decisions by your lonesome for decades, compromise is not something I have had to work on…I have been the head of my household and have proudly made ALL of the decisions. I have decided when I wake up. I have decided when I go to bed. If I don’t feel like cooking for weeks, that is an option. If I want to turn up the music as loud as I can and dance around my home naked, no one has to know…But now, I have another person to consider…I love him, but I imagine my life will look very different a year from now…

So I’m planning and stressing…I’ve even had to repeat scriptures to myself on a daily basis this week when my mind wants to obsess…Below are the ones that have been most helpful to me…

Romans 8:28 (my all-time favorite)

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whohave been called according to his purpose. “(I hope I’m making the best decisions, but if I’m not, I trust that God is working everything out for my good.)

Proverbs 3:5-6

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (The funny thing about being humans is that we believe we can figure out the best paths for us because we have been blessed with incredible minds. However, as we only have human understanding, we have to ultimately rely on God’s understanding and trust that He is leading us down the right paths.)

Philippians 4:6-7

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (While it is okay to be concerned about an issue, God commands us not to be anxious and worry…I must tell the truth, I have downright worried this week, but I’m working on just being concerned.)

One morning when I woke up, this song was in my spirit, and it has helped me to calm myself down as MY GOD IS AWESOME! If my God is truly awesome, I have to let Him work it all out…Check out Pastor Charles Jenkins and Fellowship Chicago as they sing “Awesome.”

Any thoughts?

P.S. I haven’t posted as much as I like, and I hope to remedy that this month…But you must forgive me if a few of my posts are about wedding and marriage planning…It’s just where I’m at 🙂

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