Alice May, It’s Your Day (Happy Mother’s Day to All Mothers)

Hell World,

You know what it is…It’s that special day each year that is set aside to honor the women who not only gave birth us but give their lives for us if we’re lucky and blessed…I am…and so today, I must honor Alice May, my mama!

I’ve been thinking for the last few weeks what should be the focus of today’s post…Yesterday, I went to Southwest Regional Library on Cascade Road to see Atlanta’s Georgia Peach Authors which includes Dwan Abrams, Kendra Norman-Bellamy, Jean Holloway, Gail McFarland, Marisa Monteilh and Electa Rome Parks. It was the first stop on their 2011 tour. Anyway, McFarland, a romance novelist, talked about her blog named Mamaknology which is dedicated to the wise sayings that her mama told her. One of her wise sayings was, “Don’t show the best of what you have to the worst of the world.” Translation: Don’t wear a skirt so short that any and everybody can see your stuff…Wise stuff fo sho…I thought about writing a post about my own my mamaknology, but my mama doesn’t really deliver one-liners like that so I decided not to attempt to bite McFarland’s wonderful idea…

But as is the case for much of my life (and since this is a primarily a religious blog), I found inspiration within the pages of  The Holy Bible…You have probably heard of the Proverbs 31 woman, the bout it bout it wife and mother who is so accomplished from her business to her home life that she must be a myth…Well, I know it’s true because it describes my mother…So indulge me as I rewrite its words, Proverbs 31: 10-31,  to describe my mother…

10 A wife of noble character who can find? 
   Look no further than Alice May Holness. She is worth far more than the fattest platinum diamond ring.
11 Her husband, Dr. Denzil D. Holness, has full confidence in her
   and has anything that a husband could ever want…
12 She brings out the best in him and supports him
   all the days of her life.
13 She is an old school mama that knows how to sew and works with eager hands to make her home a sanctuary.
14 She is like the semi-trailer trucks that crisscross the nation,
   bringing her food from afar from from the DeKalb Farmers Market to her network of Jamaican friends.
15 She goes to bed late and gets up early;
   she provides home-cooked food for her family almost nearly every day
   and has enough left over to give to her friends.
16 She has been selling Avon for decades;
   out of her side hustle she provides extra money for her household.
17 She relishes working hard even though she is retired now,
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She knows that she is working for her family and the Lord,
   and she stays up working later than anyone in her house.
19 She can sew an outfit as easily
   and as she knits together her family.
20 She is always ready to give away something to somebody
   and the trunk of her car is where she stores much of her impromptu inventory .
21 When it snows in Atlanta (which is rare) or the weather is just bad, she has no fear for her household; because her shelves are well stocked and she even has a kerosene lamp
22 She has clean bed linens always ready to be used;
   she is clothed in her best on Sundays.
23 Dr. Holness is respected among men at church,
   where he takes his seat among the deacons and other leaders at the church.
24 She volunteers in Jamaica every summer teaching children at a Vacation Bible School,
   and supplies all the children with arts and crafts, clothing and other items she lovingly collects and brings from the United States.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She tells it like it is so if you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t step to her.
27 She manages her household
   and even takes care of her grandchildren nearly every weekend.
28 My brothers and I arise and call my mother blessed;
   Dr. Holness, my father, does too, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have it going on,
   but you surpass them all Mama.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give it up for Alice May because today is her day…

Any thoughts?

P.S. I love this Boyz II Men Song “A Song For Mama”…

P.P.S. I wrote another post about my mother two years which ago which features some really cool pics from back in the day…

Joy and Pain: a real mommy speaks out…

Hello World!!!

Latoicha Phillips Givens

As if you did not know, today is Mother’s Day, and I have to pay tribute to all mothers, particularly by mom! Do your thang today Mrs. Holness!!! (Of course, the fam is taking her out today…) And if you want to read my tribute to my mama, check out this post

Last week, I pondered what should be my Mother’s Day post…Since I wrote about my mom last year, I decided to write about another mother…But since I’m not a mother and really have no personal experience in mommyhood, I thought it would be best to pay tribute to mothers by having a real mother speak in her own words…So I asked My Girl Latoicha Phillips Givens, wife, mother, attorney and blogger extraordinaire to share her experiences about truly one of the highest callings a woman could have…

The hardest thing I have ever done is becoming a mom. I am not going to lie – being a mother is darn hard. You are your children’s source for emotional fulfillment, basic everyday needs and often times, financial support.

Jemel, 5 and Sydney, 2

Children seek out their mothers for their emotional well-being. When they are teased at school, they come to you to rebuild their self-esteem and self-worth. As a mother, you listen, give your child a big hug and tell him, “Baby you are the best!  Those kids are clearly out of their minds because you are so amazing and the smartest and the cutest boy I know.”  When your child is angry, you are the one that calms him down and determine the source of his anger, giving him solutions to deal with his anger in a constructive rather than destructive way.  When your children experience self-doubt, mothers make sure their children feel secure and comfortable in their skin.

What I find is the hardest is a mother’s responsibility to provide the basic day-to-day needs for my children.  These needs are greater when children are younger – the daily bath time, cooking meals, packing lunches, ironing and laying out outfits for the week, making sure your kids brush their teeth and floss properly. Let’s not talk about changing diapers and potty training. Really, need we go there? Definitely not my favorite part of being a mother. Whew!  Of course, ensuring all of these tasks are taken care of means that Mom does not get any sleep. I mean I always heard that, but it is so true. Completion of these tasks mean you rise as early as 6 a.m. and go to bed as late as 11 p.m. I am always exhausted!  Plus I have my own business and I write two blogs. Crazy!

And of course there is the financial burden of caring for a child.  I never knew how expensive and financially taxing it is to care for a child until I had to do it. We have to provide a roof over our heads, buy groceries, clothing and shoes and make sure we have transportation.  We also pay for their tuition and soccer, guitar and karate lessons. I find that our financial responsibilities are the most stressing of all.

Jemel, Latoicha and Sydney

But despite all of my complaints about the difficulty of motherhood, it is so worth it. When I see my children wake up with a bright and happy smile on their face, I feel joy. When the dentist tells me my children do not have one cavity and their teeth are well-cared for,  I am so proud. It is so gratifying when my children show off their academic skills and people remark on how well they speak. I am elated when they get so exited about a new movie, an ice cream cone or new shoes. The fact that my children are happy children and are polite and most of all caring means so much to me. Yes, being a mom is hard work but knowing my children are on the right path to becoming wonderful adults makes it so with it! 
Check out Latoicha at LuxeTips.com, a beauty and fashion blog, and IP Law 101, an intellectual property blog…
Any thoughts?

Another one bites the dust…2009 is nearly over…

Hello World!

In case you haven’t noticed, 2009 will be over in roughly a couple of weeks…And how do you feel about it? To get a feel for how my year has gone, I dusted off (actually opened a file on my computer) my written goals for the year…

One of my goals on the list was to make my blog the best it can be. Hmm…I say I did a not-so- bad job I must say…I’ve written about interesting topics I think….My most popular post this year was “Of Drugs and Light-Skinned Boys…” It got 489 views although only two people commented on that particular post! I was able to spread the word about the House of Grace Free Health Care Clinic, a true example of what Jesus Christ would do…I was able to have a few guest bloggers…My favorite guess post was “Your Turn: A Closeted Virgin Speaks Out…” My blog has even been shouted out on other blogs….Check me out on momstyleicons.blogspot.com…It’s a wonderfully inventive blog with haute photos of our moms at their most fashionable…I’m also listed on the blog roll for enjoyceinglife.blogspot.com! Thanks JD! So what y’all think about my blog? Have you enjoyed reading my posts as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them? Feel free to offer suggestions for posts or ways to make this blog the best it can be…

Another one of my goals, which I’ve actually written about, was to learn more about financial health…I’m proud to say that I have the biggest savings account I’ve ever had in my life, and I am on a mission to pay off a major debt my May 2010! Having money is not a guarantee that one will be happy but being broke ain’t too cool either… Whatever I have, I’m thankful for, which is the key, my financial counselor said, to receiving more blessings…

I could write more about goals, but life is about more than goals…life is about learning and growing…And I’ve definitely learned and grown a lot this year – some of had been hard lessons to learn and some have given me tremendous joy…Here a few a few of the lessons I learned in 2009:

1. Any relationship that causes you to worry all of the time – whether it be a platonic friendship or a romantic relationship just ain’t worth it…

2. No matter what I do, I just cannot control my circumstances…The best I can do is to do my best and leave the results to God period end of story…

3. If a relationship starts affecting my looks, I gotsta go…pleaz…I’ma be cute…

4. Coveting is a sin…

5. Tomorrow is not promised…reach out to friends and loved ones that you haven’t communicated with in a while today…

6. Prayer, laughter and sloppy kisses are good medicine…

7. Ain’t nothin’ like your girls…

And since it is the Christmas season, I must say a few words about the “most wonderful time of the year!” I have found that many people end up feeling sad because they expect that Christmas is supposed to be the “most wonderful time of the year.” I’ve found that if I expect to feel a little blah this time year of the year because of the frenzy that goes with “just 12 shopping days until Christmas” and what not and focus on more Christ  (The word mas means more in Spanish.) instead of Christmas and my family and friends, I feel better…

And now, I gonna go against what I just said…I love Christmas songs about romantic relationships even the sad ones..so I’m going to name a few in no particular order…and just for the record, “This Christmas” by Donny Hathaway is my absoute fave relationship Christmas song, but I mentioned him last year…

1. “Merry Christmas Baby” by Charles Brown

2. “Let It Snow” by Boyz II Men

3. “Santa Baby” by Eartha Kitt

4. “Last Christmas” by Wham!

5. “Every Year, Every Christmas” by Luther Vandross…one of the best saaangers ever…