“Julie & Julia” – my first artist date in a while…

A Valentine Days card from Julia & Paul Child! How erotica and innocent at the same time! Who woulda thunk it?

A Valentine Day's card from Julia & Paul Child! How erotic and innocent at the same time! Who woulda thunk it?

Hello World!!!

So a few posts back, I lamented over the fact that I had writer’s block and couldn’t think of a thing to blog about. I also wrote about the fact that I have neglected one of the two basic tools that I learned about when I took a class on The Artist’s Way some years ago. The basic tool that I am referring to is the artist date. An artist date is a “block of time, perhaps two hours weekly, especially set aside and committed to nurturing your creative consciousness, your inner artist.” And as a rule, you must be alone with “your artist” on the date – that means no boyfriends, children, etc.  According to the principles of the “The Artist’s Way, ” a book written by Julia Cameron, you can actually “hear” solutions to problems that your inner artist may have considering…

So all of that to say, my artist and I (read Jackie by her lonesome) decided to see the movie “Julie & Julia” Saturday night. We LOVED it!!! This movie is about Julie Powell’s quest to discover herself as she approaches her thirtieth birthday (I cannot believe I will be 36 years old in a few weeks…GULP).  The frustrated writer, at the suggestion of her so supportive husband, decides to start blogging.  (Something sounds sooo familiar…) Unsure of what to blog about, she decides to blog about her quest to cook her way through Julia Child’s book “Mastering the Art of French Cooking.”  She decides she will cook all of the recipes in a year! A gutsy and innovative task to say the least!

There were so many aspects of the film that captured me. First of all, as someone who really enjoys eating, I was enthralled with that aspect of the movie…I think it is entirely possible to experience heaven in your mouth!  I also know what it’s like to feel frustrated as a writer. While I have wanted to be a “writer” since I was six years old, I still don’t feel quite successful…Yes, I have written for magazines, newspapers, Web sites, etc., but I have yet to achieve my ultimate dream of becoming a published book author. (Yes, I know I can self publish…I don’t wanna – read: whine, whine, rant, rant.) I was especially encouraged that Julia’s blogging eventually resulted in a book deal! (Oh God, please let happen to me…) But I was most captivated by the illumination of Julia Child’s marriage in the movie.

While Julie’s blogging provided the framework for the movie, the movie was also a biography of Julia Child’s life and went back and forth between the lives of the two women. The marriages of both women were explored in the movie, but Julia Child’s marriage was most surprising…I don’t think I ever tried to watch Julia Child on television but I do vaguely remember seeing her on television and seeing others imitate her as well. Remember when Cliff Huxtable imitated her on “The Cosby Show?” With her weird voice, box-shaped body, looming height and boring hairstyle, one would have guessed that she wasn’t married…Or at least I did.

But not only was she married, Julia and her husband Paul Child had a hot and sweaty love life…(Sidebar: Have I mentioned Meryl Streep yet? She is my favorite actress at this point! She literally becomes each character that she plays. Her depiction of Julia Child is brilliant.)  Apparently, the two married when she was in her mid ’30s…They lived in Paris for a while as her husband was stationed there as an employee of the U.S. Department of State. While in Paris, Julia attended the famous Le Cordon Bleu cooking school and subsequently decided to write a French cooking book in English. Her maddening struggle to write the book and find a publisher for the book also resonated with me.

By the end of the movie, my artist was very happy. From the movie, I learned that it is possible to get a book deal from a blog(oh pleazz, God!), one does not always have to be a frustrated writer, there is somebody out there for everyone even those that society may deem weird or unattractive and that I have no desire to cook an entree with more than 10 ingredients and or steps.

Finally, I bought yet another relationship book on Saturday night….(ugh!) According to this latest book, I am a latent commitment phobe – go figure…that does it! I have now bought my last relationship book….For some reason, over the past six years or so, I have become obsessed with relationship books…how to catch a man, keep a man, etc…I am so over it at this point.

Maybe if I get married, I will buy another one…but as a single woman, I am done with the relationship books. In fact, I told a friend last night that I may box them up and give them away. She said that she wants to look through them

As alluring as this book sounds, I will not be buying this book or any other relationship books anymore!

As alluring as this book sounds, I will not be buying this book or any other relationship books anymore!

first…Aaah, I may not be ready to box them up yet, but I won’t be buying them anymore. This reminds of the time that I gave away my calorie counting books in my ’20s. I finally surrended my weight to God back then, and I haven’t looked back…(And if you are wondering, I didn’t get fat!) Maybe this is what my latest declaration is about…I’ll let you know. 🙂

Any thoughts?

Julia Child making an omelette…I think I can handle it…DKW doesn’t think so… 🙂

I’m Gonna Make You My Wife…

My Mom & Dad...

My Mom & Dad...

Hello World!!!

As of this Friday, August 14, my parents will have been married for 38 years!!! Congratulations to my dear ole Mom & Dad!!!

As the creator of this blog, I don’t mind sharing some personal details about myself but as a courtesy to my friends and family I don’t share much about them without their permission. However, I will say this: the stability of my parents’ long-term marriage has always been my safe haven. When the world has wronged me and I don’t know what to do, I go to my Mom & Dad’s house. They may not always know how to comfort me, but just their presence alone is like a balm for the weary soul. I thank God that He put my Mom & Dad together…

Sadly, from everything I’ve read and what I have witnessed around me, marriage is becoming a rarity in the black community. I think marriage is becoming more difficult for all races according to what I’ve read, but for today’s post, I will focus on marriage in the black community. In fact, this issue was highlighted on CNN’s “Black in America 2” which aired last month. Soledad O’Brien, the host of the program, interviewed Nisa Muhammad about her organization, the Wedded Bliss Foundation, which was created to save  and encourage black marriage. Some grim statistics were shared on the program. In 1963, married couples headed 60 percent of black families, but that number has dwindled to half.

O’Brien was able to follow one couple, James and Tina Barnes, who were considering divorce after 21 years of marriage. The couple enrolled in the foundation’s eight-week Basic Training for Couples and were able to address their issues and remain married. I was especially touched by the couple’s eldest daughter Jameeca, a college student, who admitted that her grades were being affected by her parents’ marital problems. I don’t know her but I would guess it was the lack of stability that affected her the most. From what I have witnessed, marriage offers stability to children that enables them to explore the world around them but still have a safe haven.

Former Chief Justice of the Georgia Supreme Court Leah Ward Sears wrote a heartfelt column about her plight to end disposable marriage in the wake of her brother’s suicide. She felt her brother commited suicide due to the frustration he experienced in trying to parent his two children after a bitter divorce. Read an excerpt below.

Tommy’s loss has catapulted me even farther down a path I was already on. This may sound like heresy, but I believe the United States and a host of Western democracies are engaged in an unintended campaign to diminish the importance of marriage and fatherhood. By refusing to do everything we can to stem the rising rate of divorce and unwed childbearing, our country often isolates fathers (and sometimes mothers) from their children and their families.

Removing no-fault divorce as a legal option may not be the right way to move forward, and the solutions we need may not be entirely legal in nature. But answers must be found. The coupling and uncoupling we’ve become accustomed to undermines our democracy, destroys our families and devastates the lives of our children, who are not as resilient as we may wish to think. The one-parent norm, which is necessary and successful in many cases, nevertheless often creates a host of other problems, from poverty to crime, teen pregnancy and drug abuse.

Actor and writer Hill Harper (isn’t that a great name?) is also tackling the topic of black marriage in his latest book The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships which will be released next month. On his Web site, Harper states that 34 percent of black children are raised in two-parent households when that number was 85 percent in 1966. (Hmm, the stats cited on CNN’s program and in Harper’s book don’t seem to match, but the message is still clear.) Through his book, Harper hopes to address issues that may have contributed to this troubling statistic. I heard Harper talk about his book on a radio program earlier this week. I was tempted to switch the radio station until I heard Harper, who is single, admit that he may be a part of the problem.

Harper plans to host free town hall meetings throughout the country for people to discuss the issues that are presented in the book and is looking for corporate sponsors. As a result, he is asking people to pre-order his book so that he can prove to prospective sponsors that this issue is important to many.

If you are in the Atlanta area and are looking for tips on how to attract and keep a good man or woman, you may want to check out this event…

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Any thoughts?

P.S. I love this song by The Whispers…They don’t make them like this anymore…Maybe a part of the problem is popular music…Somehow songs like “Birthday Sex” don’t make me think about marriage and family…

Tidbits & Titillations aka Dear God, it’s me Jackie…

Dreams do come true...
Dreams do come true…

Hello World!!!

Here are some subjects that I have been thinking and praying about lately:

1. My favorite bishop, the good Bishop Thomas Weeks from right here in the A, is engaged to be married to the Prophetess Christina Glenn…Well Hallelujah and Thank You Reality Shows! Apparently, the happy couple have been engaged for at least a month! How I missed this news I don’t know. If you remember, less than a year ago, he launched the reality show “Who Will Be the Next Mrs. Weeks” on his Web site bishopweeks.com to find a new wife. His second ex-wife Prophetess Juanita Bynum divorced the bishop about two years after he beat her down in the parking lot of an Atlanta hotel. When I wrote my original post about Bishop Weeks, I really didn’t think a woman would really date him after the much publicized incident between Bynum and her ex-husband, but I was wrong. Pastor, now called Prophetess Christina Glenn is excited about her upcoming nuptials to the good bishop!

Dear God, It’s no secret that many of my friends and I want to get married. Please help us to not want to get married so badly that we open our hearts and close our minds…Give us Your wisdom and insight so that we will wait for the ones that you have for us…In Jesus’ name, Amen.

2. Steve McNair & Sahel Kazemi…I’ve heard all about it. I’m sure that you have heard all about it so I won’t rehash the details here… What a tragic story…I’m sure that men (ahem cheaters)  like Kwame Kilpatrick, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer and former presidential candidate John Edwards are like it’s getting “hard out here for a pimp” after hearing this story…Is there another clause in the wedding vows of rich and powerful men like “I promise to be faithful unless the right ‘opportunity’ (a)rises” if you know what I mean…

Dear God, Does marrying a man with power, influence and money mean that eventually my man will cheat on me? Do I have to marry a man that is flat broke to guarantee that he will be faithful to me…help me to understand Lord…In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

3. I am an Internet junkie always on the lookout for interesting sites, blogs, etc. Last week, while watching my absolute favorite soap, “The Young and the Restless,” I saw an ad for the Web site, outofyourlife.com.  Through the Web site, women can receive cash for an engagement ring or other jewelry that was given to them during a good relationship that has gone bad…This is how it works: a woman requests a Break-Up Box which she receives in the mail. After receiving the Break-Up Box, the woman places her jewelry in it and mails it back to the Web site. Once receiving the jewelry, it will be appraised and a check will be mailed back to her…I guess with our country’s high divorce rate, there is a sizeable market for such a service…But learning about this Web site has made me a little bitter. I haven’t received very much jewelry from men at all…My father bought me a beautiful diamond and gold nugget cluster ring when I was 16 years old, but he’s my dad so I don’t think that counts…A high school boyfriend found a gold ring on the track during a track meet once and gave it me…A college boyfriend gave me a gold ring with a little itty bitty diamond chiplet…The chiplet was soo small that I’m not even sure if it’s still there…Every once in a while I hold it up to the light, but I still can’t tell if it’s there…after that, zilch…and I’m 35…

Hed betta not...

He'd betta not...

Dear God, help me to not hate on women who have received gargantuan rings from their boyfriends, fiances or husbands…I know that I can buy my own rings if I want to, but I don’t want to..Lord bring a man into my life that will be buy me some jewelry… It doesn’t have to be the biggest diamond in the world Lord, but help me and others see it even if we’re not holding it up to the light…In Jesus’ name, Amen…

4. Are all romantic relationships open unless you are married? We can all agree that if you are married, you are expected to be faithful…But if you are not married, should you be in a “committed” relationship? For example, let’s say that you are in a committed relationship, but you are not engaged…What if you meet a really great person? Are you really supposed to not explore that option? Will one date kill you? And we’ve all heard of stories of people who were engaged and met “The One” before they married the other one?

Dear God, help me to know the One that you have for me…If I happen to be engaged when I meet that One, help me to dump the other one and move on…In Jesus’ Name, Amen…

This is more like it...who is that guy?

This is more like it...who is that guy?

5. So let’s say that after all of my prayers, I finally meet The One and we get married…and then it becomes dull and uninteresting…what do married people do when that happens? Well, one interesting Web site has the answer. Through ashleymadison.com, married people can date…In fact, their motto is “Life is short. Have an affair.” Maybe the aforementiond cheaters should have used this Web site to have a discreet affair. It’s like E-harmony for married people it seems…you can search the profiles of over 4 million married members…how romantic…

And then You made man...

And then You made man...

Dear God, when I do get married, please help me to have fun all of the time lest I be tempted to spice things up a bit by dating while I’m married…Help my man to be as fine as the day I married him forever and always…I pray that the sight of my man will always make me want to jump on him like Whitney did to Bobby on his now defunct reality show “Being Bobby Brown.” And Lord, if he is Idris Elba…maybe that can happen…in Jesus’ name, Amen…

 

Any thoughts?