Category Archives: Writing

Posted on

Introducing Jacquay Waller, Creator of “the Black Man-O-logues”

 

1. Why did you write “the Black Man-O-logues? I’m sure you were influenced by Eve Ensler’s “The Vagina Monologues.” When did you start writing the play?

I wrote “the Black Man-O-logues” for multiple reasons.  It was certainly a layered approach. One reason was as a way to begin to shatter the double standards between men and women. Another reason was to give a voice to the voiceless. Many of the stories that are presented are seldom (if ever) seen or heard of on stage or film.  There are not many professional shows or film projects where you will see this many black men together presenting thought-provoking, tear-jerking, life-changing material.

You are correct in that I was influenced by “The Vagina Monologues.”  It helped me to mold my concept for presenting universal material on “love” from a black male’s perspective. I started writing the first installment of “the Black Man-O-logues” in 2006. 

2. What did you hope to convey in the first “the Black Man-O-logues ?” Why did you feel the need to write the sequel to “the Black Man-O-logues?” What do the nine men in the play represent?

My hope with all of the pieces I present are to engage people in conversations on difficult topics.  There is a lot of shallow material out there. It is strictly meant to entertain you. My goal is to entertain you while engaging you. You will never come to one of my shows or see one of my films without having to think critically. With “the Black Man-O-logues” I present various views on love.

Most people only imagine roses, diamonds, and hearts when it comes to love. Well, I show you the obvious love while also engaging you with issues of love and how it relates to a brother behind bars; the love a man has for his wife even though she abuses him physically and emotionally; the love a preacher has for his wife and family, but also for the “love” of women; the love a brother has for money which, in turn, affects the way he treats women in his videos. The list goes on. You’ve got to see!

With the sequel to “the Black Man-O-logues”, I’m addressing nine totally new issues. In this installment we’re examining more difficult topics: molestation, burglary, gang initiation, emotional cheating, the single father, layoffs, police brutality, etc.  Where is love in all of these issues? I can guarantee you, it’s evident in all of them.  The nine men in each of the series represent a different perspective on love. Most likely a perspective unheard of.  One of the most beautiful things is to have brothers come up to me after a show and thank me for giving them a voice. This is difficult material. We don’t really have time to play. We’ve played long enough. I’m raising real issues and present real stories. It’s up to all of us to come up with solutions. Once you know the issue, you are accountable.  

The “icing on the cake” with my shows are that I allow everyone to talk with the characters after the show – not the actors, but the characters! You can ask these characters anything. People do! I just provide a safe environment for you to ask real questions and receive real answers without jeopardizing your life.  By the way, “the Black Man-O-logues III” has also been completed but it has not debuted yet.

3.  You have a very interesting background. After receiving a bachelor’s degree in computer science from Tennessee State University, you worked as a rocket scientist for a missile company. However, you felt a calling to the ministry and enrolled in the Candler School of Theology at Emory University where you received a master’s degree in divinity. You also have a master’s degree in business administration. How did you become a playwright, and how have your past experiences influenced your current work? And are you working full time as a playwright or a minister or a rocket scientist?!

I’ve been an entertainer for several years, but I just so happened to “fall-in” to the career of a playwright. As an actor, I felt (and still do) that there is not enough material in the “Theater World” that pertain to black people. It’s just not enough material out there that black people can identify with. So rather than wait on someone to create it and present it, I decided that I would do it. And it’s been an amazing and unbelievable ride!  You would think that being in a city like Atlanta that there would be more “black shows” or shows with black actors. Many people choose to go with August Wilson’s material which is great stuff. But at some point, someone has to write and present new material so that we have more August Wilsons.

I would say that I am working full time in all three. DreamCatcher Productions is a branch of ministry. It is a medium that allows me to deal with issues that should be addressed in our churches but are not. Using the mediums of film and stage, I don’t not have to sugarcoat anything. I can say what needs to be said so that people don’t have to read between the lines. I am always working on new plays and screenplays, and I now work at the CDC as IT project manager instead of a rocket scientist.

4. Do you feel that black men really express love differently than other men? Please explain your answer.

My answer to this question is yes and no.  I’d like to say that many of the issues I raise are universal. They apply to men of all races and ethnicities. But I would also say that there are some cases where we as black men may express our love differently.  For instance, I have a character named “Camelot” in “Black Man-O-logues I.”  He is a rapper, wears his pants below is butt, has a grill, and refers to women as b*$@#s and h*@s.  His mentality is that his persona is the only way to sell records. He doesn’t realize who he is hurting along the way. He provides for his mother, grandmother, sister and his children, and he feels this justifies the way he treats and objectifies women. This is one out of several instances.

As black men, we have a lot of issues and baggage.  It is my hope by presenting these issues and providing answers, women will know how we communicate and thus we will be able to have healthier relationships.

5. The name of your company is DreamCatcher Productions. What is your advice for young men who want to catch their dreams?

My advice…Never ever give up! Don’t wait on someone to give you an opportunity. Create your opportunities. Don’t wait until you have time. You will never have time. Make time!  Dreams don’t have deadlines, only delays.

Okay, I will be there on Saturday….Will you? If not Saturday, you have an opportunity to see  “the Black Man-O-logues II” on Sunday too…

 The play will be featured at the 14th Street Playhouse, 173 14th Street, Atlanta, GA  30309 on Saturday, Sept. 25 at 4 p.m. and 8 p.m. and on Sunday, Sept. 26 at 4 p.m. Tickets are $30.

Any thoughts?

Posted on

Book Notes#3 – On Being a Bachelor: Thoughts on Dating, Mating and Relating

Blane Bachelor, her book and me...

Hello World!

I hope you are wrapping up your summer in a fabulous way! I am – hence my lack of posts over the last week or so…I’ve been traveling…but my writing schedule will be back to normal in September…

However, I have found the time to write a book review on one of my fave – if not my fave – topics: relationships…A writer friend of mine Blane Bachelor recently held a book release party to celebrate the release of her first book On Being a Bachelor: Thoughts on Dating, Mating and Relating. (With a name last name like Bachelor, she was destined to write on the topic of relationships!) I went to the party and bought a book…After reading the book, I decided that I should review it right here…Disclaimer: Unlike the other books I have reviewed on this blog, this book is in no way religious or spiritual; however, everybody can relate to the topic of dating, mating and relating…

Okay, just a little background on Blane…Her book was inspired by and based on “Ask a Bachelor, “ her advice column for the Sunday Paper published right here in the A…The column was originally named “On Being a Bachelor” and included thoughts about her dating adventures in the A, but serendipitously, shortly after committing to write about her lack of a commitment, she found herself in a committed relationship…And so the column was reworked into an advice column…Wonder of wonders…

And now that I have introduced you to Blane, let’s get into her book…First of all, let me give a sampling of some of the chapter titles: Sex in the City, Becoming Carrie Bradshaw, The Hickey Dilemma, Skeletons and Dates in the Closet, The Slow Burn…hmmm, sounds interesting,  huh?

I think what I like most about the book is that it highlights dating in the A….As a dyed-in-the-wool single woman in the A, I know about dating in my fair city…but I am always interested in other perspectives and experiences…

From the chapter The Dangers of Dating a Metrosexual –

“About a week later, as we wove through the sea of blankets at Screen on the Green, I prayed we wouldn’t run into any of my friends, who would never let me forget that my date was wearing gray flat-front dress pants, a tight baby-blue T-shirt and a wide Nike wristband. On his elbow.

Raise your hands if you have gone out with a metrosexual (metrosexual: young straight stylish urban man: a young, straight, sensitive urban man who is unashamed to enjoy good clothes, stylish living, the art of decorating, and improving his personal appearance. This definition is from MSN Encarta.)! It’s a bit unnerving to date a metrosexual…I guess because I am not always on point when it comes to my own presentation…I forever pick at my fingernails and so my hands tend to look jacked up more than I would like to admit…I probably wear clothes much longer than I should because I’m frugal and don’t like spending money on them if I can help it…I know, it sounds so anti-girly, huh? I remember one fashionable guy I dated just blurted out once, “I think you are trying to be unsexy!”  He even brought a clothing catalog on one our dates to help me pick out some clothes that would look good on me…wow, huh? But back to Blane’s book…

Toward the middle of the book, Blane delves into her relationship with then boyfriend, now fiance’, C. I particularly like the chapter The Slow Burn…In this chapter, she describes her willingness to let their relationship develop although she was feeling less than fireworks at the beginning of their relationship…

“This gray was a departure of sorts for me. For a long time, I had always fancied myself a romantic, claiming I would never settle for anything less than all-out, can’t-keep-my-hands-off-you passion. And if those fireworks weren’t flying from the start like of a Fourth of July extravaganza, I simply wasn’t interested…So I still can’t explain why I didn’t close the lid early on whatever was bubbling between C. and me. Perhaps it was the simple fact that I felt the admittedly pathetic need to be validated after getting kicked to the curb. “

By the close of the chapter, she noticed that her relationship with C. finally heated up which explains the title of the chapter, obviously. Sooo, are you the type that has to be head-over-heals at the start of a relationship or are you content to let things simmer a while before getting hot? I have always favored head-over-heels attraction but I must admit this has not been the best practice for me…It has caused me to date some guys that were clearly unsuitable because they gave me the jollies…On the other hand, should one go out with a man if there isn’t any spark at all? What do you think?

Blane also delves into another phenomenon I’ve noticed in  dating/mating/relating – the inevitable weight gain of a happy couple….From the chapter Seriously Weighty Relationship Issues…

“A few months into being coupled up, I go from foxy to fatty. I am certainly not alone. Just looking at many of the people I know who are in relationships, I can see fuller faces, pudgier waistlines, more rotund rumps.”

Blane is speaking the truth! I first noticed this peculiarity in college…There was this resident advisor on my hall that gained a lot of weight as she was dating this guy who also lived in our dorm…I don’t know is she was cooking for him in our rustic dorm kitchens or if they were feeding each other at restaurants all over Athens, but this girl put on a considerable amount of weight…And then shortly after I stopped seeing him go into her dorm room at all hours of the day and night, she became her former stick-thin self…I pray that doesn’t happen to me…I have to maintain my sexy as my friend U. likes to say!

For more fun tidbits from Blane book’s, you need to buy it and read it for herself? So do you have any juicy tales from dating in the A that would make a great book or at least a great comment on my blog? Let me know…

Any thoughts?

Posted on

Book Notes#2 – The Ring Formula: How to Meet, Date & Marry Mr. Right

Hello World,

Can you believe that 2010 is half over…where did the time go?

Anywho, about a year ago, I started a Facebook conversation with one of my FB friends Dr. Alduan Tartt, an Atlanta-based psychologist,  about how he could counsel people about being in romantic relationships although he was single. That is one of my pet peeves…People who advise other people on situations while they have no practical experience of the situations in question…However, Dr. Tartt was very gracious in fielding my questions and even e-mailed me a free copy of his book, The Ring Formula: How to Meet, Date & Marry Mr. RIGHT (The title has been revised since the first printing of the book) so that I could review his book for my blog…Being the procrastinator that I am, I am reviewing his book a year later…But since he has a seminar this upcoming weekend, I thought it would be nice  to FINALLY review his book , and hopefully some of you will want to go to his seminar…Plus, according to his FB status, he is now in a relationship…

So on to my review….Well ladies, Dr. Tartt starts of his book stating that scores of single women have unwittingly taken themselves out of the marriage market because they simply don’t know how to make themselves marriage material — and to top it off, WHEN they do seek advice, they do so from other single women…Food for thought…so far, so good…I can cosign on that…

What I like about the book early on is that Dr. Tartt apologizes for some of his less-than-perfect behavior in his own dating life…

“I am writing this book to make amends for my past transgressions and to offer my beautifully talented sisters an attitude-altering lesson and insight into the male psyche.”

Now, I won’t give away his entire book here, but I will include some juicy tidbits…So what is the first component of Dr. Tartt’s formula? “Learn How to Cook: Nurture Your Man’s Soul.”…I must admit there is something that rises inside of me when I think about that…There is a feminist part of me that says, “Why do I have to know how to cook to catch a husband?” But when I think about my mother and her food…well let’s just say that I make sure I stop at her table every Sunday for a good home-cooked meal, and my father is always praising my mother for her cooking! So maybe he is on to something…Dr. Tartt also offers an example of two women who vied for the attention of one man…one was beautiful with a “mean shoe game” and great conversation and other woman was a great cook…guess who won out?

 “When a woman learns to cook, not just open a can and heat or microwave, she learns how to love and thus becomes a very powerful woman who is able to control even the strongest of men.”

Another part of Dr. Tartt’s formula is “Stay in Your Lane: Respect Your Man’s Position.”  This chapter is all about men and women staying in their traditional gender roles…i.e. men are designed to lead and women are designed to assist them….My father, who is a pastor, is always preaching that men and women will be happier if they are in the roles that God had in mind when He created us…I must admit though something within me bucks at this too…but Dr. Tartt did a good job of softening the blow….Below is a paragraph about a woman in the chapter that learned the hard way that even her father made occasional bad decisions about money, but her mother supported him anyway. This woman had just scared a man away by not being supportive of him and went to her mother to get some insight.

“Her mom told her about how she stood beside and supported her husband when he made a bad financial move in the real estate market despite his father-in-law’s warning. In fact, they had to downgrade and reside in a rental property on the wrong side of town to make ends meet. She was furious, but she saw standing beside and supporting her husband as her duty. She realized that her commitment was to her husband, not to material things.”

Dr. Tartt also believes that women should withhold sex if they want to get a man to marry them…He describes this belief in his chapter, “Check Under the Hood: Friends Before Lovers.” Interesting concept in today’s world…

“So what are you supposed to do when your man outright demands sex and independence? This is where YOUR self-discipline takes over. Simply refuse to compromise your morals, and opt to develop friendship, support and loyalty instead. Although men certainly will throw some form of temper tantrums after being turned down for sex, ultimately they respect you and work hard to earn your companionship.”

Hmmm…what do y’all think?

And what do y’all think about this chapter, “Soul Train or Soul Mate: Date to MARRY.” In this chapter, Dr. Tartt describes nice men who are content to be in relationships with nice women indefinitely…without being married! He describes Erika who was in a satisfying relationship with a good man who did not want to get married…After one too many Christmases had gone by without a ring, she decides to dump him and not settle for less than what she wants: marriage…Amen sista!

In summary, men don’t like to lose three things: love, power and respect. When Erika left Marshall, he ended up losing all three, which was more than he could bear. Ultimately, he lost her love, her daily attention and the power to have his cake and eat it too. Ironically, he is now fighting to reacquire that love, attention and respect. I’ll have to admit that Erika’s chances for love look pretty good now. In fact, she has another suitor who is madly in love with her, and she is enjoying every moment of it. Look who is having her cake and eating it too now!

There are more components to his formula, but you have to check out the actual book for yourself! So what do you think about Dr. Tartt’s book? Is he on to something? Or do we already know this information?…

Any thoughts?

P.S. Just cuz I feel like that today, I have posted this timeless Etta James classic. Enjoy!