Posted on Sunday, November 2, 2008

God’s Economy: A Tale of Joe – The Mechanic

Hello World!!!

Whew! We have an extra hour of sleep today, but alas, since I am writing this post, I will have to catch my zzzs later!

With the election just over two days away (Thank You Jesus!), I thought I would tell my story about a Joe I know. Instead of Joe the Plumber, however, my Joe is Joe the Mechanic! Yes, his name is really Joe! I once read a Christian book years years ago, Knight in Shining Armor by P.B. Wilson, in which Wilson described “God’s Economy.” As our Provider, according to Wilson, one of the ways that God provides for us is through Gifts-in-Kind, which is “goods or services that God gave you through other people. For example, you moved into a new apartment and the manager waived your security deposit of $200.” After I read this passage, I started looking for ways that God blessed me with breaks through random people.

So nearly 10 years ago, I was sitting in a Honda dealership staring blankly into space as I pondered how I was going to cough up the $500 or so, maybe even a bit more, that I would need to pay to get my cracked head gasket in my black Civic (R.I.P. Black Beauty) fixed. After a few minutes, I figured that I would just ask my Dad to pay for it and pay him back later. However, as I stared, this woman came over to me said something like, “You know I heard them tell you how much it was going to cost to fix your car and that was outrageous! You know what I do? I just bring my car to the dealership and let them tell me what’s wrong with it, and then I bring it to my mechanic, Joe. And he fixes it for a whole lot cheaper. He’s a certified mechanic, and he’s honest. I can give you his pager number if you like.”

I looked at the woman and said, “Thank you. I will probably get the dealership to fix my car this time, but I will keep his number for the future.” So the woman wrote down his number on a slip of paper and handed it to me. I’m not the type of person that goes around getting recommendations from people for various services, but for some reason I just knew that I would be calling this Joe the mechanic in the future. And since my Civic was getting old at that point and it was nearly paid for (y’all know how that is), all kinds of stuff started malfuctioning and Joe became my mechanic. I would go to the dealership to get the problem diagnosed and then I would bring my car over to Joe’s house where he would fix the problem for a fraction of the cost quoted to me.

If you’ve been anywhere near my car lately, you have heard the brakes squeaking, and since I recently have come back from two trips, I didn’t want to think about shelling out more cash to get them fixed. So what has been my antidote? Y’all, I promise you that I have just been turning up my radio and acting like I don’t hear anything. And then when you have the nerve to look at me crazy while my car is squawking, I just start moving my lips like I’m singing the song playing on the radio and I don’t see you. (Wow, I was crazy embarassed while I was backing out of a long driveway last weekend, and my car was squawking the whole way. It would have been cool if people hadn’t come out of the house to help me back out because apparently, it is still a challenge for me.)

Anywho, when I went to the Honda dealership last week to get my oil changed, the oh-so concerned mechanic guy comes over to me in the waiting area and gives me a shopping list of services that need to be done ASAP. When I just stare at him expressionless and he realizes that I will not be buying into his hysterics, he said, “Well I know you heard those breaks squeaking and they do need to be fixed immediately.” I said, “I have, and I know they need to be fixed. Ima get my mechanic friend to fix them this weekend.” “If they can last that long,” he said loudly. (He ain have to say that like that.) Then he gives me a sheet of paper outlining the costs of his recommendations. I hone in on the cost to fix the front brakes: $199 plus tax. Relatively speaking $200 is not a large amount of money, but when you have other pending bills – (In a perfect world, the speed limit would always be 80 mph on the highway…), you have to watch yourself.

So that was Monday. So I finally called Joe on Thursday. (ever the procrastinator!) I told Joe what was up with my brakes.

“So much you gon charge me Joe,” I said to him.

“$50,” he replied. (Side note – Joe always tells me what parts to buy at AutoZone, and he just charges me for the labor!)

“Really,” I said. “If I knew that it was going to be that cheap, I would have called you a while ago.”

He just chuckled in his men-don’t-like-to-waste-words way.

And since we’ve become friends over the years, sometimes he just comes to my house, picks up my car and takes it back to his house to fix like he did yesterday morning. And yes, he likes to flirt with me and occasionally ask me out, but it’s all good. He’s not pushy or anything so I say something like “Stop playin’,” and that’s enough for him to not ask me out again until the next time I see him. Of course, recently, he told me that I was probably too old for him now. However, he added that since I look younger than my age, he could make an exception for me…

So there you have it. In God’s Economy, He loves to bless you through other people. So it’s not only about what you think you have, it’s also about what God has… The possibilities are endless! That’s comforting to remember in these turbulent economic times…

Any thoughts?

P.S. That picture is not actually a pic of Joe!

Posted on Thursday, October 30, 2008

We Are Single Because We Want To Be…

Hello World!!!

Aside from reading Charlayne Hunter-Gault’s memoir, I also carved some time out of my vacation to finally read Sex and the City by Candace Bushnell. While I devoured the hit show when it was on HBO, and I now savor the reruns, I had never read the actual book that inspired the groundbreaking show before a few weeks ago.

In the Introduction, Bushnell said the book’s central theme is the answer to this question – Why Are We Still Single? This is her answer – “Now, with a few years’ perspective on this issue, I can safely conclude that we are single because we want to be.”

Wow! Since reading that statement, I have been digesting what that means to me and my other still single girlfriends. Just before I read the book, maybe a few days before even, the church pianist came up to me after church one Sunday and said something like, “When are you getting married? I’m trying to hold on so I can play at your wedding.” A guy who was nearby said, “I’ve asked her out, but she won’t go out with me.” The church pianist then said, “Oh, she’d be married by now if she wanted to be.” And my dear old Dad has pointed out to me recently that I have made ambivalent statements about being shackled..er…hitched.

So what am I saying? Gather any group of 30ish women for more than 20 minutes and the conversation will eventually shift toward a discussion about relationships. My girlfriends and I are no different. Since we crossed the 30-year-old threshold, we have discussed relationships with a urgency that wasn’t present a decade earlier. It’s not that we define ourselves singularly by our romantic relationships, but having a rich and rewarding partnership with a significant other is important. A 40ish, single friend of mine said a lot of it is biological; she has assured me that if I reach my 40s without being married, that desire will not be as strong. To that I say maybe so, but I’m not there yet.

But even as we desire to floss that rock, bag a husband and retire to the burbs, I wonder if some of us are really ambivalent about the whole thing. To that end, I have compiled a list of 10 actions that may prove that you are secretly ambivalent about the husband hunt. As they say, “actions do speak louder than words.” These are in no particular order. Also, I will not disclose the actions I have taken…hey you gotta keep something to yourself.

1. You live in the A. Some of my friends are seriously considering moving to another city because they believe that the wealth of women in the city prevent the menfolk from having class in dating in general or from having to make any real commitments. Asking a girl over to your home for a 1 a.m. drink is not anyone’s idea of a romantic first date. Trust me, it’s all downhill from there…

2. You date bad boys and try to make them into church-going deacons. If you met a dude in the club, it’s possible that you can get him to go to church with you. (Hey, I’ve been known to stumble in at daylight Sunday morning, nod off for a hours, and head back out to the mid-morning church service.) But if you make this a habit, this action says more about you than it does about the guy. Marinate on this for a minute…

3. You date self-professed, commitment-phobes. Hmm, I’ve come to believe that if someone tells who he is, you’d be smart to believe him.

4. You constantly date guys that live out of state. What’s up with that? Is it because there are no good guys around or are you somehow unavailable at a deeper level?

5. You run from guys that like you, but chase after the ones that don’t want to be caught. The “thrill of the chase” really sucks…

6. You have a long list of requirements that no one, save Barack Obama (hey Michelle already got that on lock), can measure up to. “Something New” is a good movie about throwing your so-called requirements out the window and actually accepting what you need rather than what you think you want in a man.

7. You blame your dating history on your dating partners rather than occasionally looking at your side of the street. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Get a grip. Sometimes, YOU are the problem.

8. You’re desperate. Yeah, I want to get married some day, but I enjoy my own company. I mean, chill.

9. You’re mean. I really think that like attracts like. In my humble opinion, if you manage to be loving to all people whether it be the guy that keeps offering to wash your windshield at a downtown intersection to your backbiting co-worker, then I believe that you will attract love – romantic and otherwise.

10. You forget to pray. If you’re a Christian, this means that you have to have a dialogue with God about what His will is for your life. It may or may not include a husband. Them’s the breaks.

Hey, I’m no counselor or therapist, but I think I could be right here. What do you think?

Any thoughts?

P.S. This is 10.5. You date a guy simply because he looks like Tupac. You rationalize that he will eventually get a house, a car and a clue…Hey at 25, this is fun…at 35, not so much…:)

P.P.S. Guys please comment!!!

Posted on Monday, October 27, 2008

A Change Is Gonna Come…

Hello World!!!

As we enter the last full week before the presidential election next Tuesday, I thought I would post a sober and reflective entry about “how we got over” thus far, and those who God has used thus far to exact change in the United States of America. ( will try anyway. I just love making people laugh!)

Last month at a journalism conference, I had the pleasure of meeting Charlayne Hunter-Gault, the first black woman to attend the University of Georgia. As she spoke about race relations during this current election cycle and compared and contrasted it with her bittersweet experiences at UGA, she mentioned that she is the daughter and granddaughter of ministers. Since I, too, graduated from the University of Georgia with a journalism degree, (I don’t care what you FAMU Rattlers say, I’m proud of my HWCU) and am the daughter and granddaughter of ministers, I knew I had to talk with her after her speech.

So as she signed my copy of her memoir In My Place, I asked her if she would be interested in being interviewed for my blog. She gave me her contact information and asked me to contact her later! But after a few weeks of playing phone tag, her daughter called me and told me that Mrs. Hunter-Gault was world traveling and wouldn’t be able to do the interview…oh well, you win some, you lose some…

However, I did read her book while I was on vacation, and I wanted to share some interesting passages in the book and my insights.

As I read her memoir, I was again reminded how the church has shaped many of the lives of American black heroes including Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, Benjamin Mays, Adam Clayton Powell Jr. and Martin Luther King Jr. – and this is just a sampling… She wrote about being a part of her church’s annual Easter program, attending Vacation Bible School and traveling to church conventions – near and far. I can relate, I can relate. In another passage, she said, “the difference between my father and my grandfather as preachers was that my father was a minister – more cerebral, less theatrical.” That’s true for my Dad and my Grandpa (I know you’re in heaven, Grandpa!) too. She wrote about a grandmother that fasted and prayed on Fridays. My dear grandmother, who is now deceased as well, used to scare me when she prayed. First of all, she prayed in a stream of consciousness way and a sob seemed to be caught in throat as she prayed. I could actually picture her vocal chords quivering. Plus she was loud! I always thought if the Lord doesn’t answer her prayer “just now,” somebody needed to so she could stop…

There are also a lot of interesting pop culture details for voracious pop culturists in this book. For instance, Hunter-Gault attended Mt. Moriah Baptist Church in Atlanta, which is still in existence today, where she listened to her first elementary school boyfriend, William, and his cousin, Gladys, sing in the “Sunbeam” choir. They also sang at the Royal Peacock on Auburn Avenue on Saturday nights. (Y’all from the A know about the Royal Peacock!) Gladys, William and others later became Gladys Knight and the Pips!

I love history, but since I graduated from college, I haven’t been as motivated to read as many historical texts as I should. In reading this memoir, I was delighted to learn some Atlanta history that I probably should have known before now. For instance, civic and political leader John Wesley Dobbs, grandfather of the late Maynard Jackson, Atlanta’s first black mayor, was said to the originator of the term “Sweet Auburn.” Dr. King Jr. grew up in the Auburn Avenue area, which was and is a symbol of black pride in the city. Big Bethel, which is decorated with the words “Jesus Saves” on its tower, was the site of Morris Brown College’s first classes.

While she was in high school, Hunter-Gault and her family lived in Alaska. I wonder if she could see Russia from her house. (Shout out to Gov. Palin!) Jokes aside, maybe moose meat ain’t all that bad. Hunter-Gault described sampling and actually enjoying it. Her grandmother prepared it by marinating it with vinegar and onions and “cooking the stew out of it.”

Hunter Gault also talked about her decision to pledge Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc., which is, of course, the best sorority in the world! Of course, I’m bias! (OO-OOP MY SORORS!) “They represented the kind of woman I wanted to be: soft and appealing, clear-headed and strong without being strident. And I liked the fact that they seemed to have steady relationships with their boyfriends.”

When it came time to endure the jeering, taunting and even a gun-toting madman as she started her life at UGA, the voice of her grandmother reciting the Twenty-Third Psalm comforted her. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for Thou art with me.”

I don’t know what’s in store this historic election and I don’t want to jinx anything, but even Hunter-Gault said she believes an aura surrounds Barack Obama. And a lady said to me yesterday that she feels that like our ancestors(a “cloud of witnesses” if you will) are gathering around here to see…it’s been a long time coming, but I know a change is gonna come…

Any thoughts?