Reflections on being a Preacher’s Daughter Without the Reality Show…

Hello World,

My family...

My family…

So last night I didn’t watch the debut of Lifetime’s new reality show “Preachers’ Daughters” because I have lived that reality every day of my 39 years…

Growing up with a devout preacher of God, my father, and a daughter of a preacher, my mother, was wonderful and challenging at the same time…First of all, my brothers and I always felt loved and cherished by our parents. They encouraged each of us to become kind and empathetic people. They encouraged each of us to pursue our dreams. They encouraged each of us to have personal relationships with God…

Eighteen-year-old Taylor with her father Pastor Ken Coleman of City of Refuge Pentecostal Church

Eighteen-year-old Taylor with her father Pastor Ken Coleman of City of Refuge Pentecostal Church

But, they had a ton of rules…And sometimes I found creative (read: I lied) ways to get around these rules….

My father made it clear once I got into high school that I could not go to dances even though all of my friends went to dances…I felt like Ariel, the preacher’s daughter in the original “Footloose.” Remember dancing and rock music were forbidden by the city council in their small town Bomont? So when I was in the tenth grade (if I am remembering correctly), I devised a scheme to go to my high school’s homecoming dance. As I was on the drill team and often got back from football games very late, I decided to tell my father that he didn’t have to pick me up from school until very late after a football game. I figured by the time he picked me up, I would have had at least an hour or so at the dance in the gym.

Imagine my surprise when as I was sitting with my all-time favorite crush on the

Kolby, 16, Nikita, a former professional wrestler-turned traveling evangelist.

Kolby, 16, Nikita Koloff, a former professional wrestler-turned traveling evangelist.

bleachers, the gym doors suddenly opened and a figure, illuminated by the light in the hallway, stood and surveyed the room. I felt like I was in a movie then because everything seemed to slow down. The figure wore a trench coat and his pajamas showed underneath. At once, I realized it was my father and he walked right up to me as if he had been magically bestowed with infrared vision. I was caught. If I could have passed out I would have as I became nearly mute with embarassment. I hated being a preacher’s daughter that night…

Olivia, an 18-year-old teen mom, and her father Mark, pastor of Everyday Church.

Olivia, an 18-year-old teen mom, and her father Mark Perry, pastor of Everyday Church.

I found ways to date without my parents knowing as well. Although I was allowed to date when I was 16 years old, I didn’t always want my parents to know about every single date. So I claimed I joined a club at high school and we met on Wednesdays evenings after school. I figured that since my parents went to Bible Study at church on Wednesday evenings, they wouldn’t pay as much attention to what was going with this new club I joined, and I was right. So after school on Wednesdays, one guy in particular would pick me up from school and we would hang out. Those were the days…I now know what the verse “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come…” (Ecclesiastes 2:1)  means…Back then, in spite of the high school drama I occasionally experienced, every day felt like a new adventure…

Aside from the rules, I often found myself in situations that have to be unique to preachers’ kids….

I had my first kiss in front of the church during Vacation Bible School the summer before eighth grade…The boy I kissed lived across the street from the church. After we kissed that summer night, of course we became boyfriend and girlfriend…LOL…So after church on Sundays, when everyone was socializing in the parking lot, I would slip away to cross the street to visit my new boyfriend’s house…I figured no one knew what was going on with me because they were all talking…But one Sunday, as I was getting ready to cross the street to come back to the church grounds, I saw my father waiting on the corner…to this day, I don’t know who could have told him where I was..The was the last time I went across the street after church to visit my boyfriend…

When I was even younger, I was always getting into fights – usually because of my mouth. Instead of taking my side in these fights, my father invited the people that I fought with over to our home. He would then give a mini-sermon about being a peace maker…It was worst than being beat up…You know I got joined (talked about) in the neighborhood…

I could go on and on…

And now that I’m an adult, I’m still experiencing the ramifications of being a preacher’s daughter….Somehow, I have to figure out how to invite the whole church to my wedding later this year…Wouldn’t want to offend anybody…Yikes…Pray for me and send a check to to help pay for my reception…I’m just kidding…

In spite of it all, I wouldn’t change a thing…

Any thoughts?

 

 

 

 

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9 thoughts on “Reflections on being a Preacher’s Daughter Without the Reality Show…

  1. Hahaha. That homecoming story is classic. I have a similar one trying to trick my dad to pick me up hours after our HS graduation rehearsal ended. It was utterly embarrassing. I could go to dances, but I could go on dates or to any sports events. I don’t know if it’s a PK thing or a West Indian thing, or both!

    With respect to the reality show, reality tv today isn’t like the reality tv of yesteryear. Old seasons of Real World seem like reality tv. Today reality tv is more for attention seeking people who want an easy paycheck. My ob/gyn is going to be on Married to Medicine on Bravo starting March 24, and I can’t help if it’s just a ploy to gain new patients and grow her business. Great marketing ploy, but at what costs? Her husband works for a reputable multi-billion dollar company in Atlanta, her kids will likely be exposed. Is it worth it?

    Preachers’ Daughters and The Sisterhood seem like a cry for attention in an ungodly way.

    • Also want to say that I have watched The Sisterhood, but not Preachers’ Daughters. I’m making a statement based on the previews of the show! Don’t roast me!

      • I’ve watched “The Sisterhood.” Actually, I interviewed some of the preachers’ wives for Urbanfaith.com…

    • It’s probably a West Indian thing too actually…lol…Wow, your ob/gyn is doing reality tv…hmmm…not too sure about that either…You will have to tell me which one she is…I wanted to be on “The Real World” because that show actually seemed sane instead of overhyped non-reality reality programming of today…

  2. Kids are going to be kids, regardless of what their parents do. Take into consideration what you did when your parents told you, not to do something, you had to experience it yourself, before you made a decision whether or not it was good or bad. So would not a preachers/pastors children want to do the same exact thing, or are they different from all the other kids?

  3. I appreciate you sharing this, Jacqueline!
    I’m a preacher’s daughter also …as well as a preacher’s sister, a preacher’s niece, and a preacher’s cousin too (from a small southern town where the population is about 40% preachers LOL) and I have definitely felt some pressures in my life because of it. It can certainly be a bit of a struggle, but because I have always had a strong, independent spirit and way of being since I was very small (despite the pressure), fortunately I have been able to do and be SO MUCH MORE of who I was meant to be and way less of what some may try to pressure me to be. I am an everyday work-in-progress, STILL.

    But as you said, I don’t think I’d change a thing either because, if nothing else, it has made me even more certain of who I am suppose to be.
    Thanks again for sharing!

  4. Praise the Lord Dear beloved man of GOD.
    Greetings to you in the Name of Jesus Christ, and from India
    I would like to introduce me as Pastor T. Lazarus founder of Shalem ministries in ongole Andhra Pradesh south India. Aged35 years and married and two children we are also going in the ministry of the Lord. I am doing ministry since 16 years I came here; yet present where I am doing ministry according to vision the Lord told me and led me here to do HIS ministry as missionary to fill all my state with Good News of Jesus Christ. By the Grace of GOD and by the leading of the SPIRIT I have build one church in ongole i have nearly two hundred believers in my church the Lord using us in HIS ways. Not only that we have lot of remote villages in those villages people does not know about Jesus Christ so I was so touched by the spirit to go and preach the good news to them. I have been doing ministry and by the Grace of GOD I was build some churches in some remote area.
    Brother, now we have 15 congregations around my district of prakasam many Muslims and Hindus people came and accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior and LORD and they baptized also. In my sojourn I have seen lot of things in some areas while I went to preach and pray for the sick and demons, lot of people they are living without knowing Jesus and about HIS love. So I was inspired a lot by the spirit to go and visit them and introduce the love and kingdom of GOD, When I visit them the LORD began to manifest HIS glory among the people; sick are healed and demons are came out from lot of bodies. These manners the Lord doing HIS works for establish HIS kingdom in those remote areas.
    This my Vision;
    1. Train young people as pastors and evangelists
    2. To reach and touch every remote village of India, and to earn this country for th Lord Jesus.
    3. to feed poor and orphan children and widows.
    4. To help native missionaries in India.
    5. To build more churches and congregations in lot of places in India.
    6. My wish and desire is to revival every pastor and servant of God that they may do more ministry for kingdom of GOD
    .7.To conduct Gospel meetings and pastors conferences more and more for the edification of the pastors spiritual lives
    .I am sending my pictures to you those are let you know about me and my ministry, and I am also sending my ministry brochure which tell you about my testimony see and pray for me ,

    We love and love to hear from you.
    Bro.T.Lazarus
    Shalem Ministries
    Zachariah Nagar
    D.NO.35-2-14C
    Ongole.523001
    A.P South India
    + 91 99594 39348, 91 99519 39348