Disclaimer: This episode of “Born Again Virgin” was a wee bit more risqué than previous episodes so if you are shy about sexual topics, please stop reading now.
This episode was aptly and euphemistically titled “Secret Garden” so that should give a huge hint as to the direction of this post. In this episode, Jenna’s followers have asked her if you can have oral sex and still be a virgin. First, she discusses the issue with her roommates Tara and Kelly. Tara believes that oral sex is simply foreplay, but then she jokingly accuses Jenna of trying to find a “loophole in the virginity clause.” As Jenna realizes she is unsettled on the matter, she decides to seek out an expert opinion and meets with a woman who calls herself “The Headmaster” as she teaches a class on oral sex. And this is where things get interesting if you love the ’90s like I do! Remember the white lady on “In Living Color,” the hilarious sketch comedy show that introduced us to comedic geniuses like Jim Carrey and Jamie Foxx? Her name is Kelly Coffield Park (trivia sidebar: She was in my high school English’s teacher’s wedding according to him! Hi Mr. Stephens 🙂 ), and she portrays the
“The Headmaster” in this episode. Obviously, their conversation, which Jenna is videotaping for her blog, goes over the top very fast! For example, the Headmaster says that “oral sex is today’s good night kiss” and takes out sex toys during their very public conversation in a restaurant. Well, alrighty then…
Kelly is having an existential sex crisis of her own when her mother mistakenly texts her sexy i.e. naked pictures of herself. When Tara sees the pics, she notices two things: that Kelly will age well as her as her body is concerned and that someone else must have taken the pics because she sees Kelly’s mother’s hands. So not only is the naked thing irritating to Kelly, the fact that her mom has finally moved on after her father’s death is also troubling. So Kelly decides to visit Historic Grant Park where her mother lives to see what is going on up close and “in living color” so to speak.
Tara, who thinks she is the hottest roommate of the three, is insulted when after bringing her latest dude Bruce home, she realizes that he has already dated Jenna when they were in college. He refers to her as “Jenna & Juice,” and they laugh it up. By the way they interact, it is obvious that what went down is that they obviously got down when they were in college.
So after Jenna meets with the Headmaster, she decides to ask random strangers in a restaurant about their views on oral sex. They agree to discuss their views on camera, and their answers runs the gamut. She realizes that for some, there are different degrees of virginity similarly to different degrees of vegetarianism. For some vegetarians, eggs, for example, are okay but for others vegetarians, they are not. Jenna realizes that oral sex is not something she wants on her menu and decides to adhere to a more traditional view of virginity. What is your take?
When Kelly arrives at her mother’s house, she meets Rob i.e. her mom’s sexting partner and new live-in and much younger boyfriend! Kelly questions her mother about her boyfriend and being faithful to her deceased father (whom she was married to for 30 years) to which her mother replies, “If you want me to kiss your father, I would have to dig him up. And he wasn’t that good of a kisser when he was alive.” She also explains that after Kelly’s father died, she joined the church and got a hobby among other options she tried to keep her occupied, but none of the options kept her “warm at night.” Just uhhh…Who wants to hear all that from your mama?! When her mother leaves the room, she has some real talk with Rob, asking him if he a gold digger or truly interested in her mother. He tells her that wonders of wonders, he is actually interested in Kelly’s mother and that she will have to get used to it. Kelly’s mother also tells her that she is partly to blame for her new relationship as Kelly’s main form of communication with her is via text as she is busy pursuing her pr career and isn’t really there for her. Kelly realizes that she should spend more time with her mother even if now she has to share her with Rob.
After Jenna’s uncomfortable reunion with Bruce, Tara has some real talk of her own with Bruce about what actually happened with Jenna. She tells Bruce that she doesn’t understand how he can like sweet potato pie and pumpkin pie, and that black people only say they like pumpkin pie to appease their white friends. (It is true that black people, for the most part, eat sweet potato pie while white people seem to favor pumpkin pie. Why is that?) He is obviously confused until she explains that she is sweet potato pie and Jenna is pumpkin pie. He says that he actually likes both. But his answer does not satisfy Tara’s ego, and she decides she just cannot see a man who has seen her roommate naked.
At the end of the episode, Jenna, Kelly & Tara dish on oral sex, Kelly’s mama’s delicious new bae (before anyone else…So I learned what bae means in this episode!) and sweet potato pie versus pumpkin pie in the kitchen. Jenna’s mom, whom we find out is white (so maybe she really is pumpkin pie), discovers Jenna’s blog and is mortified. I’m predicting some mother-daughter interaction with them in future episodes. Kelly realizes that her and her mother have the same taste and had she met Rob first, she would have sampled him too. Ewwww….Tara creates a poster board which she posts pics of her previous boyfriends and Jenna’s previous boyfriends to find out if their paths have ever crossed before the Bruce revelation so that they can prevent future relationship reunions and break the bonds of Eskimo sisterhood.