Why Ciara & Pastor John Gray Are Right To Advise Single Ladies to Level Up…

Hello World,

I know that I’ve been gone for a few days. Due to a family emergency, my hubby and I ventured up north to last Tuesday and just got back on Sunday. And once I returned to my regular Internet habits, I was bombarded with the backlash that R&B star Ciara faced from single ladies over the weekend simply because of a snippet of a Pastor John Gray sermon that she tweeted. See the message that had black Twitter blazing below…

What about this is offensive? I don’t get it…but below are some of the criticisms that Ciara faced after she tweeted this sermon snippet…

From The Grio:

“All Gray did in that clip was plant the “Pick Me” seed—the belief that women who behave in a certain way are worthy of marriage over others (e.g., being a homebody, being ride or die, prioritizing a man’s needs over their own, etc.)—into insecure women, and that is extremely dangerous.

For women still on the search for themselves, this type of rhetoric morphs into their internal law, leaving them either desperately seeking love or feeling worthless in its absence. And what’s worse, the Black Church has been weaponizing scriptures like these to target those insecurities, manipulate women and make women more subordinate for years.”

From Twitter:

From The Real:

So I have a few thoughts about this criticism (obviously since I’m writing this post). First of all, ever since Ciara dared to leave her first child’s father Future, who has several children with several woman, and marry devout Christian football star Russell Wilson, she has been the subject of unfair scrutiny. It’s almost as if folk are incensed that Ciara did not resign herself to be among Future’s harem of women just because she gave birth to his child and decided to level up with a man who wanted to be committed to her and her alone. So I think some of this backlash can be attributed to jealousy. Plain and simple.

Now as far as the other criticism is concerned, Ciara felt the need to clarify her position after all of the response she received from her tweet. See her Instagram post below:

❤️

A post shared by Ciara (@ciara) on

Obviously, after what happened with Future, this woman had a “Come to Jesus” moment. To be honest, as I watched her date him (from press reports) before their son was born, I thought she was downgrading herself. I remember seeing some picture with her and several mothers of his children and I wondered why anyone would voluntarily sign up for that…It didn’t seem that she truly loved herself AND you have to truly love yourself before anyone, romantic connection or otherwise, can love you…Below is the pic…I think one of these women is Future’s sister but the rest are mothers of his children…SMH…

Now obviously Ciara wanted to get married AND be in a monogamous relationship, and there is nothing wrong to aspiring to that. Marriage and or monogamy aren’t for some people but this message is for those single ladies who want to have these experiences. Furthermore, being married or single should not be ranked. A married woman is not better than a single woman and single woman is not better than a married woman. However, when I was single and wanted to be married, someone casually mentioned to me that maybe I needed to curb my friendships with my male friends. I know this sounds drastic, but I thought about it. At one point, I had several male friendships that I had cultivated over the years. Some were strictly platonic and some had an undercurrent of flirtation. This person explained that I needed to literally create space for a husband and that having all of these male friends filled the space that a husband needed to fill. It made sense so I slowly stopped cultivating those friendships. I mean I would talk to them if they called, but I didn’t reach out anymore.  In sum, I wanted to be a wife so I acted like I was one before it actually manifested. I think a wife’s primary male friendship should be with her husband and vice versa for the man.

But love and romance isn’t the only field where we should level up. If you want to be in a certain career, for example, it is common knowledge that you should present yourself like you are already in that career. If you want to buy a home, you should conduct yourself as a homeowner by taking charge of your credit, saving, etc. If nothing changes, nothing changes!

Now some are saying that Pastor Gray is focusing on women when the sermon should focus on men and women. I get that. But I haven’t seen the whole sermon to know if he addressed men as well. I agree it can be annoying when some male ministers are constantly preaching to women about romantic relationships. But even outside of the church, women of all races are always the primary audience for romantic relationship messages. I mean, how many men do you know read romance novels or watch The Bachelor? It’s supply and demand at work. Now, this doesn’t mean that men should not be addressed in various areas when it comes to romantic relationships because they should, but judging after a snippet of a sermon is extreme.

So that’s all I have… Do you plan to level up like Ciara and Pastor John Gray advise?

Any thoughts?

Birmingham Revolution: Martin Luther King Jr.’s Epic Challenge to the Church…

Editor’s Note: This is a repost but very relevant today…

Hello World,

TODAY is the official Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday! I hope wherever you are – whether at home or work or serving your community, I hope you pause to remember the dream of Dr. King and how he inspired the nation to come together in equality and peace…

One of my friends, Edward Gilbreath, who is an award-winning journalist and author, and the executive director of communication for the Evangelical Covenant church, wrote “Birmingham Revolution: Martin Luther King Jr.’s Epic Challenge to the Church” a book about Dr. King. Below is an interview with Gilbreath about his book.

Countless books and articles have been written about Martin Luther King Jr. over the years. What inspired you to share another perspective on King in “Birmingham Revolution?”

Edward Gilbreath: There’s a multitude of books about King and the civil rights movement, but I felt compelled to tell the story from the perspective of an African American evangelical who was born a year after Dr. King’s death. Many people from my generation and younger don’t always have a full picture of who King really was—his courage, his radicalism, his faith, his humanity. I wanted to shed light on these aspects of King and, above all, show the church that everything he did was driven by his Christian faith and values. I also think the evangelical community—especially the white evangelical community—has had an uneasy relationship with Dr. King over the years. They’ve wrestled with embracing his vision of racial and social justice but have struggled with accepting his progressive theology. And at times, they’ve used questions about his theology as an excuse for dismissing him altogether.

I want to show that King’s vision was actually more in tune with a complete understanding of the Christian gospel. That despite his failings as a flawed human being, he was operating out of a God-inspired, prophetic Christian vision of justice and reconciliation. Many evangelicals are just now catching up to what King was articulating fifty years ago. I hope Birmingham Revolution can be an entry way for many evangelicals to discover King anew.

What was significant about Birmingham as a stage for the civil rights movement?

Edward: In 1963 Birmingham, Alabama, was one of the most notorious strongholds of segregation and white supremacy in the South. It was a place described by King as “the most thoroughly segregated city in the United States.” Not only were the public institutions, such as libraries, segregated but it was so severe that even books that contained photos of black rabbits and white rabbits together were banned from the library shelves. It was a city where bullets, bombs and burning crosses served as constant deterrents to blacks who aspired to anything greater than their assigned station of inequality.

There, in April 1963, King and his movement of nonviolent protesters staged a campaign that would transform America. The Rev. Fred Shuttlesworth, a fiery Baptist preacher in Birmingham, had implored King and his Southern Christian Leadership Conference associates to come to Birmingham and help the city’s black community confront segregation. He told them, “I assure you, if you come to Birmingham, we will not only gain prestige but really shake the country.”

He knew that if the movement could change things in Birmingham, it would reverberate throughout the nation.

How is “Birmingham Revolution” different than your mini ebook, “Remembering Birmingham?”

Edward: “Remembering Birmingham” focuses on the events of Birmingham in April 1963 while “Birmingham Revolution” takes a more extensive survey of King’s life, both before and after Birmingham. It’s a dynamic story, replete with action, drama and compelling ideas. I believe the Birmingham campaign was the touchstone for all that came before and all that would follow in King’s brief but remarkable thirty-nine years of life and ministry, and Birmingham Revolution will help readers understand why.

What was the significance of King’s “Letter from Birmingham”?

Edward: The Birmingham campaign started out slowly, but after King was arrested on Good Friday for his movement’s public demonstration on the streets of Birmingham, things began to change. While in solitary confinement, he was shown a newspaper op-ed column by eight moderate clergymen in Birmingham. While they supported civil rights for blacks, they felt King and his movement were going about it all wrong. They implored him to wait for the laws to take effect. But King believed the black community had waited long enough, they needed to take a stand and stir the conscience of Birmingham and of the nation.

His response to the op-ed was a passionate letter that spelled out the reasons why the movement couldn’t wait and pointed out the differences between just and unjust laws. He wrote the letter on the margins of the newspaper, on scraps of any paper he could gather, and when he ran out, he reportedly wrote on the toilet paper in his cell. After its publication weeks later, the “Letter from Birmingham Jail” would become one of the most lucid and convincing arguments for social justice and civil rights that we’ve ever had. What’s more, it was rooted in the theology and principles of the Christian gospel.

Why do you think King was more a “prophet” of social justice?

Edward: It’s easy to want to write Dr. King off as just a leader who gave a good speech. But in doing that, we risk missing the fact that he was vehemently disliked in his day and that as time went on he was becoming increasingly angry and impatient with the pace of change in the nation. Late in his life he wrote that, “Whites are not putting in a mass effort to reeducate themselves out of their racial ignorance.”

While he rejected the militancy of the Black Power movement, he understood the roots of its members’ discontent. As a Christian minister and Nobel Peace Prize recipient, King also felt compelled to speak out against the Vietnam conflict. This also served to land him on some of America’s “most hated” lists.  In all these cases, he was speaking out as a prophet of social justice. But that’s typically not the King that we choose to focus on today.

What do you hope readers take away from “Birmingham Revolution?”

Edward: I want people to discover the full humanity of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., to move beyond viewing him as this gentle “I Have a Dream” character to seeing him as the prophetic and often radical Christian visionary that he was. I want people to discover and rediscover Dr. King’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail” as a message encompassing his holistic vision of the gospel lived out in everyday life. I want people to understand that the civil rights movement was indeed a Christian movement, birthed in the church by a grass-roots movement of ordinary men, women and youth who relied on the Holy Spirit and a gospel-inspired vision to rise to the challenge of confronting the social injustice in their daily lives.

I want my Christian readers to understand that Dr. King’s message continues to have relevance for the church today for our response to issues such as immigration reform, the public education crisis, inequalities in our criminal justice system or racial reconciliation. We are called to live out the truth of the gospel both as a call to personal salvation and social justice.

For more information about Birmingham Revolution: Martin Luther King Jr.’s Epic Challenge to the Church, Edward Gilbreath and other books he has written, go to edgilbreath.com.   

Any thoughts?

Christian Virgin to Auction Off Virginity at Moonlite Bunny Ranch!

Hello World,

This story saddens me, but as a journalist, I don’t create news…but I do share it. But as a Christian journalist, one of my goals is to share news not just for the sake of sharing it, but hopefully we can be empowered by it…or at least pray for others who need to be empowered. When I came across this story about 23-year-old Bailey Gibson, I knew I needed to share it. Despite the fact that she grew up in a Christian household and was saving herself her marriage, she has given up her Christian beliefs including fleeing fornication it seems, according to the dailymail.com.

According to the publication, Gibson was once seeing  a “Christian boy who agreed with her decision to wait until marriage before they started a sexual relationship.  She soon discovered that he had cheated on her by sleeping with his ex on Valentine’s Day, but resolved to stay with him an enter couple’s therapy instead. During the therapy he revealed he had cheated on her a second time, this time on the first date with another girl. ‘After grieving for a while, I came to the conclusion that waiting until marriage to lose my virginity was the wrong decision, because my ex-boyfriend wasn’t worth waiting for,’ she added.”

From bunnyranch.com, Gibson said, “I’m originally from the suburbs of Sacramento, California, where I was brought up in a very strict, religious household. I attended an all-girls Christian boarding school in my teens, where I had absolutely no contact whatsoever with boys. I currently reside in Wisconsin where I worked as a property manager until I lost my job. The financial stress, and my desire to rebel, led me to the Bunny Ranch and my decision to lose my virginity to a generous stranger.”

I won’t get into the “Flee Fornication” verse because that is the obvious one to reference, but other verses come to mind as I reflect on this misguided woman’s decision. Your body is your temple. See below..

If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple. Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become “fools” so that you may become wise.  1 Corinthians 3:17-18 New International Version (NIV)

What these verses say to me is that Miss Gibson thinks it’s cool and or cute to sell her body now because the cultural norms make you think that it’s cool or cute, but she gon learn…Many of us become fools so that we can be wise…But at this stage in life, I would rather become wise from other people’s foolish mistakes….What say you? At any rate, she needs prayer….

Any thoughts?