Category Archives: dating

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Seven Surprising Scriptures That May Keep You From Getting Divorced…

Hello World,

If you know me, you may be wondering why I, a single woman (with a boyfriend), would be qualified to write a post about divorce prevention…Well, I submit this…What’s the best way to not get divorced? My answer: Not Marry The Wrong Guy…And that I have managed to do so read on…

Today’s post is dedicated to my fellow soon-to-be single sister Kim Kardashian, who as we all know by now, opted to file for divorce from NBA player Kris Humphries after a mere 72 days…But this isn’t her first divorce although her first ex-husband Damon Thomas, a music producer, was reported to file for divorce in this marriage…

The next time that Kim K. decides to get married (and I’m betting that she will since she really seems to want to be a wife), I suggest that she crack open a Bible…Reading these surprising scriptures will likely give her a new perspective on what to look for…

Everyone at some point has heard about 1 Corinthians 13 aka The Love Chapter or he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing or the be equally yoked verse.While these are great verses, they are used over and over again to help people select a mate…The Bible is full of other great but not as popular verses that just may surprise you…

  1. “Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, ‘Please let down your pitcher that I may drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink’—let her be the one You have appointed for Your servant Isaac. And by this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master.” Genesis 24:14  Maybe Kim should consider an arranged marriage (Read the whole chapter for the entire story)….Before you start rolling your eyes, just think about it…The divorce rate in this country should make all of us reconsider what constitutes marriage. Check out this interesting article “Marriage Around the World” on Oprah.com.
  2. “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. ” Romans 12:2 In the world of the Kardashians, it seems that only athletes (Bruce Jenner, Lamar Odom, Kris Humphries) or people somehow connected to Hollywood are suitable mates. Kim should try dating outside of her family’s type and maybe then she would be able to make a more informed decision about whom to marry…Dating outside of Hollywood via Match.com worked for Essence Atkins of TBS’ ‘Are We There Yet?’
  3. “Where no wise guidance is, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Proverbs 11:14  It has been reported that Kim & Kris recently saw the pastor that married to help them get closure. I hope that Kim continues to seek guidance from a pastor or a therapist to help her sort through her issues in her failed marriages. If you are the common denominator in a pattern, then you must address it…And she is in Tyler Perry’s new movie “The Marriage Counselor!”
  4. “So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.” Genesis 29:20 From various conversations I’ve had with men and personal experience, I’ve learned that men respect you more when they work to get your love. Kim & Kris met, married & will divorce in just over a year…Maybe if Kim had let Kris work for her love for a long while, she may have discovered that he just wasn’t The One…
  5. “His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.” Song of Solomon 5:16 I think your husband should be your lover and your friend…Being someone’s lover can happen automatically, but being a friend takes time…From what I’ve read, Kim eloped in her first marriage when she was just 19 years old suggesting an impulsive pattern that just isn’t working for her… patience is a virtue…
  6. “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33 Maybe Kim should take a break from dating and develop her relationship with God first. Maybe if she seeks God first instead of a mate, He may bless her with a mate that is beyond her wildest dreams…They say the right one typically shows up when you’re not looking…
  7. “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” 1 Corinthians 7:18 This verse brings me back to my original point. The best way to prevent divorce is to not get married…After all, marriage ain’t for erebody…Just ask Halle Berry…

Do you have any advice for Kim? Comment and let me know…

Any thoughts?

 P.S. I hope I don’t sound mean…what do you think?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Re-Virgins Get No Love…

Hello World,

Ummm…I love Georgia Fall weather…The leaves are turning although it’s still warm enough to wear sandals…at least during the day…and all of the humidity of summer has evaporated…just.love.it.

But the weather is not the subject of today’s post…A few days ago, I read a Q&A with Tamera Mowry-Housley of “Tia & Tamera,” the reality show on the Style Network in which viewers are able to see Tia Mowry-Hardrict as she navigates her first pregnancy while Tamera, her twin sister, prepares to get married for the first time. Unlike other reality shows, this one actually has redeeming value and something to offer other than unabashed materialism, contrived girl fights and downright debauchery.

So last week, on the YBF (Young, Black and Fabulous) gossip blog, Tamera dispensed advice for brides and discussed interracial dating (her new husband Adam Housley is white) and why she decided to be celibate before marriage…

One question and answer really got my attention:

You mentioned on your show that you and Adam decided not to shack up.  Does that mean you went the Sherri Shepherd route and decided not to sex it up either?

I’ll be very honest. (Laughs embarrassingly)  We decided, it was both of our decision, not to live together for religious reasons.  I’m being very honest. We actually didn’t wait before we got married to be intimate…but we did wait 3 years. (The two have been together for 6 years). I wanted to do what felt right for me.  I became re-virginized. It’s something that just felt right for me. It was just a personal choice.  And even after being intimate, we decided as a couple to be celibate until the wedding.

So do what do you think about Tamera’s decision to be “re-virginized,” particularly after she already had sex with her fiancé? Throughout the Bible, you can find many references to virgins…And even in popular culture, virgins have made a name for themselves with movies like the HIGHlarious “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” or the Madonna classic “Like A Virgin.” But hardly anyone talks about “re-virgins.” What are the benefits of choosing to celibate after you have had sex…Is it truly possible to stop once you have sampled the goods, particuarly with the person you intend to marry? Does it offer any benefits? Where the re-virgins at?

Any thoughts?

Lady Gaga has nothing on Madonna…

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Is Mr. Right White, Green, Red, Yellow & Other Colors of the Rainbow…?

“It’s not that easy being green,
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves,
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold,
Or something much more colorful like that.”

Kermit the Frog in “It’s  Not Easy Being Green”

Hello World,

I remember hearing that song in my childhood, and it really touched me because I felt so very different as the lone black girl in my class for some time at Pathway Christian Elementary School. Fast forward 30 or so years later, and I’m still different and tragic as I’m a single black woman (yes, I have a manfriend, but I’m not married). Apparently, we are the most unmarried women on earth, and everyone wants to study us, dissect us and write endless stories about us…And so we are the focus of another article in the Wall Street Journal written by Ralph Richard Banks, the Jackson Eli Reynolds Professor of Law at Stanford Law School, in which he suggests that more of us would get married if we broadened our horizons by dating men of other races – namely white men…

Don’t get me wrong…I’m a journalist, and I understand having to write about the topic of the day…It just makes me feel a bit defensive when we have been the topic for the last two years…and I’m not entirely sure that women of other races are not having difficultly in this area as well…So back to the article of the day…Below are a few points from the article that I found interesting…

Nearly 70% of black women are unmarried, and the racial gap in marriage spans the socioeconomic spectrum, from the urban poor to well-off suburban professionals. Three in 10 college-educated black women haven’t married by age 40; their white peers are less than half as likely to have remained unwed.

Black women confront the worst relationship market of any group because of economic and cultural forces that are not of their own making; and they have needlessly worsened their situation by limiting themselves to black men. I also arrived at a startling conclusion: Black women can best promote black marriage by opening themselves to relationships with men of other races.

A desirable black man who ends a relationship with one woman will find many others waiting; that’s not so for black women.If many black women remain unmarried because they think they have too few options, some black men stay single because they think they have so many. The same numbers imbalance that makes life difficult for black women may be a source of power for black men. Why cash in, they reason, when it is so easy to continue to play?

The prevalence of relationships between professional black women and blue-collar black men may help to explain another aspect of the racial gap in marriage: Even as divorce rates have declined for most groups during the past few decades, more than half of black marriages dissolve.

What would happen if more black women opened themselves to the possibility of marrying non-black men? To start, they might find themselves in better relationships. Some professional black women would no doubt discover that they are more compatible with a white, Asian or Latino coworker or college classmate than with the black guy they grew up with, who now works at the auto shop.

Any thoughts?

And in case you have never heard Kermit’s song, check it out here…