Posted on Sunday, July 12, 2009

Tidbits & Titillations aka Dear God, it’s me Jackie…

: Dreams do come true…

Hello World!!!

Here are some subjects that I have been thinking and praying about lately:

1. My favorite bishop, the good Bishop Thomas Weeks from right here in the A, is engaged to be married to the Prophetess Christina Glenn…Well Hallelujah and Thank You Reality Shows! Apparently, the happy couple have been engaged for at least a month! How I missed this news I don’t know. If you remember, less than a year ago, he launched the reality show “Who Will Be the Next Mrs. Weeks” on his Web site bishopweeks.com to find a new wife. His second ex-wife Prophetess Juanita Bynum divorced the bishop about two years after he beat her down in the parking lot of an Atlanta hotel. When I wrote my original post about Bishop Weeks, I really didn’t think a woman would really date him after the much publicized incident between Bynum and her ex-husband, but I was wrong. Pastor, now called Prophetess Christina Glenn is excited about her upcoming nuptials to the good bishop!

Dear God, It’s no secret that many of my friends and I want to get married. Please help us to not want to get married so badly that we open our hearts and close our minds…Give us Your wisdom and insight so that we will wait for the ones that you have for us…In Jesus’ name, Amen.

2. Steve McNair & Sahel Kazemi…I’ve heard all about it. I’m sure that you have heard all about it so I won’t rehash the details here… What a tragic story…I’m sure that men (ahem cheaters) like Kwame Kilpatrick, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer and former presidential candidate John Edwards are like it’s getting “hard out here for a pimp” after hearing this story…Is there another clause in the wedding vows of rich and powerful men like “I promise to be faithful unless the right ‘opportunity’ (a)rises” if you know what I mean…

Dear God, Does marrying a man with power, influence and money mean that eventually my man will cheat on me? Do I have to marry a man that is flat broke to guarantee that he will be faithful to me…help me to understand Lord…In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

3. I am an Internet junkie always on the lookout for interesting sites, blogs, etc. Last week, while watching my absolute favorite soap, “The Young and the Restless,” I saw an ad for the Web site, outofyourlife.com. Through the Web site, women can receive cash for an engagement ring or other jewelry that was given to them during a good relationship that has gone bad…This is how it works: a woman requests a Break-Up Box which she receives in the mail. After receiving the Break-Up Box, the woman places her jewelry in it and mails it back to the Web site. Once receiving the jewelry, it will be appraised and a check will be mailed back to her…I guess with our country’s high divorce rate, there is a sizeable market for such a service…But learning about this Web site has made me a little bitter. I haven’t received very much jewelry from men at all…My father bought me a beautiful diamond and gold nugget cluster ring when I was 16 years old, but he’s my dad so I don’t think that counts…A high school boyfriend found a gold ring on the track during a track meet once and gave it me…A college boyfriend gave me a gold ring with a little itty bitty diamond chiplet…The chiplet was soo small that I’m not even sure if it’s still there…Every once in a while I hold it up to the light, but I still can’t tell if it’s there…after that, zilch…and I’m 35…

He'd betta not...

Dear God, help me to not hate on women who have received gargantuan rings from their boyfriends, fiances or husbands…I know that I can buy my own rings if I want to, but I don’t want to..Lord bring a man into my life that will be buy me some jewelry… It doesn’t have to be the biggest diamond in the world Lord, but help me and others see it even if we’re not holding it up to the light…In Jesus’ name, Amen…

4. Are all romantic relationships open unless you are married? We can all agree that if you are married, you are expected to be faithful…But if you are not married, should you be in a “committed” relationship? For example, let’s say that you are in a committed relationship, but you are not engaged…What if you meet a really great person? Are you really supposed to not explore that option? Will one date kill you? And we’ve all heard of stories of people who were engaged and met “The One” before they married the other one?

Dear God, help me to know the One that you have for me…If I happen to be engaged when I meet that One, help me to dump the other one and move on…In Jesus’ Name, Amen…

This is more like it...who is that guy?

5. So let’s say that after all of my prayers, I finally meet The One and we get married…and then it becomes dull and uninteresting…what do married people do when that happens? Well, one interesting Web site has the answer. Through ashleymadison.com, married people can date…In fact, their motto is “Life is short. Have an affair.” Maybe the aforementiond cheaters should have used this Web site to have a discreet affair. It’s like E-harmony for married people it seems…you can search the profiles of over 4 million married members…how romantic…

And then You made man...

Dear God, when I do get married, please help me to have fun all of the time lest I be tempted to spice things up a bit by dating while I’m married…Help my man to be as fine as the day I married him forever and always…I pray that the sight of my man will always make me want to jump on him like Whitney did to Bobby on his now defunct reality show “Being Bobby Brown.” And Lord, if he is Idris Elba…maybe that can happen…in Jesus’ name, Amen…

Any thoughts?

Posted on Sunday, June 14, 2009

Is Obama the antichrist and other discussions inspired by the Obamas…

Hello World!!!

It’s hot to death in the A, ain’t it? A few weeks ago, I was contemplating buying a row boat to get around it was raining so much and now ya girl is two shades darker and sweating at the most inconvenient times…God must be like, “I make it rain, y’all complain…I make the sun shine, y’all grumblin’…it don’t stop!” Ha, ha, let me stop trippin’ and complainin’…Thank God it’s sunny!

Okay, so last week, I was checking my home page at Facebook and one of my friends posted a most fascinating article, Crazy Right-Wing Myths About Obama 2.0: The Post-Inaguration Edition of Odd Things Conservatives Believe About Obama. Teleprompters! Hitler Youth! Satan!written by the Salon staff. Excellent piece! Wish I had written it! The article includes an assemblage of ludicrous myths and the data to dispel them. So here are some of the myths they included…

Obama can’t function without a teleprompter, even uses it for answers at press conferences.
Obama’s stimulus provided cash for a “levitating train” between Disneyland and Nevada brothels.
Obama is a socialist.
Obama has created his own version of the Hitler Youth. And MY PERSONAL FAVORITE…
Barack Obama is the antichrist!

So during the election, I heard whisperings from people around me that Obama could be the antichrist…after all, he descended on the scene without much of a warning. Cornell West said Obama “rose like Phoenix” in a speech at Morehouse last year. And anyone who has attended church for more than a year has heard about the antichrist and how he will mysteriously appear on the world scene…But I did not know there was a whole movement dedicated to this whispering…According to the article, there are several Web sites devoted to this topic such as www.barackobamantichrist.blogspot.com, www.obamaantichrist.blogspot.com and www.beastobama.com.

On obamaantichrist.blogspot.com, there is a post about Obama distancing himself from the observance of the National Day of Prayer. The author states this is a reason why Obama could be the antichrist. But then, the author confesses about worrying at point if past President George W. Bush was the antichrist in the same article…That’s just weird…So on the one hand, this author thinks that Bush, the creater of the word “evildoer” could have been the antichrist and on the other hand, the most intelligent president we’ve had in quite some time is the antichrist…Sounds like an illness a few pills may help! The title of another post is “Obama and the Pagan Aspects of the White House Easter Egg Roll.”

According to the article, the antichrist is described as “lightning from heaven” in the Bible which translates to “baraq o bama” in Hebrew…Biblical scholars is that true? And the president’s limo is nicknamed “the Beast.” And finally, on the day after the election, the winning lottery number in Illinois was 6 _ _…(Yes, I’m crazy superstitious…I have a hard time writing that number out for any reason…) So is that enough evidence for y’all? I’ve said this before, and I will say it again: Why the black man gotta be the antichrist? We’ve had slave masters, adulterers, racists and warmongers as presidents! Why does the black man have to be the antichrist?

In other news, another one of my Facebook friends posted another article, “What Single Women Can Learn From Michelle: Would Most Type A Professional Women Have Dated Dated Barack When He was a Broke, Big-Eared Organizer With a Funny Name?” byJenee Desmond-Harris on the root.com. You can see where the author is going from the title. As we have all heard at this point, although our president was a summer associate from Harvard when he met our future First Lady, he was not the typical guy. He had a weird name. He was a community organizer. In one interview, President Obama said his car was so raggedy, you could see the road underneath the car. He had big ears.

The author states that many black women would have overlooked him because he didn’t have swag at that point in his life…Do you agree? I’m not so sure about that…Yeah, he didn’t have swag but he was a black man at Harvard…I wouldn’t pass that up – raggedy car or not…But I can see where the author is going…many of us seem to overlook the regular guy who may be going places for the guy who seems to have already arrived…My girls and I have been discussing this issue for a while…One of my friends, who is known to date men with impressive credentials, said,”Where would one even meet a regular guy,” or something similar. Funny, huh? She said this statement after another friend recommended dating “regular guys.” What makes a man regular? That’s the question to ask I think…If regular means hard-working, decent, intelligent, attractive, Christian sans the snooty attitude, I’m ’bout it.

But here’s another question: What Can Single Men Learn From Barack? As one commenter noted, are many Ivy-league educated black men checkin’ for that quintessential girl from around the way…? Or is it that once they have achieved that height, all they can see is white…y’all know what I’m saying…it’s certainly the move for many black men in power…Our First Lady is now known for her guns and style of dress, but I wonder if the same men that are praising her right now would be trying to step to her if they saw her at the light on Memorial Drive…She is smart and capable, but she doesn’t have Eurocentric features…so what many black men may need to realize is that smart, capable, assertive, undeniably black women are the way to go…As we’ve come to know, Michelle LaVaughn is the woman!

So to the “around the way girls” myself included, I post this throwback LL Cool J jam:

Any thoughts?

Tripped me out at the beginning of this video when LL said he was looking for a “regular” girl, not Ivana but Tawanna…

Posted on Sunday, May 17, 2009

If I Were Not A Writer, I Would Be…

Hello World!!!

I just love this pic...sweet and sexy...

I’ve missed you…I intended to write another post last week, but life got in the way…But that’s okay…If you are artist, as I fancy myself to be, you know that your life is your inspiration and when it gets boring, your art becomes boring…Anywho, suffice it to say, I had an interesting week last week that I’m sure will be written about in form or another on this blog…

Case in point: As a friend and I were preparing to run four miles last week (we are training for the Peachtree Road Race here in the A), we discussed what what our careers would be if we had not chosen our current careers….I have wanted to be a writer since I was six years old and never gave serious thought to any other profession, but I told my friend that I would be a television show producer…

But as I was thinking about blogging yesterday, I realized that my initial answer wasn’t really the best answer…I think I would be a psychologist or psychiatrist…My father, who has a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a master’s degree in clinical psychology, has often said that he wanted to be a psychologist before he was called to be a minister. So I must have inherited this interest from him. At any rate, my father has also said that most people who become psychologists do so to understand themselves…That makes sense to me…I love learning what makes me tick…

For roughly the past five years, I have focused on learning about romantic relationships and why my romantic relationships have not last very long historically…As I approached my ’30s, I realized, like many other women around that age, that I would like to get married at some point, but I also realized that with my track record it probably wasn’t going to happen…I mean if you can only date someone three or four or maybe even six months if you try VERY HARD, then it may be unlikely to that you will get married…

So at first, I conducted informal surveys on my friends and family…Since my mother has been married since I’ve known her (ha,ha – a jokey joke), I asked her why she thought my relationships never lasted very long. She said she thought that I was a commitment phobe…At first, I said to myself she doesn’t know what she is talking about, but after doing an inventory of the loves of my life to that point, I started thinking that maybe she had a point. I had a penchant for liking guys that were “hard to get.” In other words, the more you didn’t want me, the more I wanted you…Why would you chase guys that didn’t want to be caught unless you did not want to be caught either…Deep huh? And the guys who wanted to chase me I thought were insanely boring and weak minded. Even deeper…So that was my starting point…

A beautiful blended family...

Since then, I have talked to more people formally and informally to get a grip on why romantic relationships have been so elusive for me. I have also read numerous books. Just to make you laugh, I will post some of the titles here:

The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger – Interesting quote from the book – “Men are only interested in two things: If I’m not horny, make me a sandwich.”

Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others by John T. Molloy – Interesting quote from the book- “The primary diffence between women who marry and those who do not is this: Women who marry insist on marriage. They settle for nothing else.”

The Sistahs’ Rules by Denene Miller – Interesting quote from the book – “The way to a man’s heart is through a great plate of greens. Old- fashioned yes. But trust me – as sure as the sky is blue and Brian McKnight is fine, black men are more apt to fall in love with a woman who can cook them up a nice meal.”

Keeping The Love You Find by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. – Interesting quote from the book – “You will be able to break the repetitive pattern of past relationships; you will change the kind of person to whom you are attracted (and who eventually frustrates you); and you will be in a better position to attract someone who is willing and able to work to achieve a deep and lasting love.”

Falling In Love For All The Right Reasons by Dr. Neil Clark Warren (The E-Harmony Guy) – Interesting quote from the book – “Perhaps in no other area is it more crucial to be well matched than in the area of spirituality.”

Reading each of these books and others have given me insight into myself and others, and I feel blessed that these authors chose to write these books. (Excuse me while I whine for a bit…will my book EVER be published?…okay so back to the topic) And I have also read several interesting articles…And let me just say this…part of the reason why I have devoted so much time to this topic is because I do want to have a long-lasting relationship one day but the other reason is that I just love learning about different topics. When I was in the fifth grade or thereabout, I was obsessed with learning about ghosts and read countless books about ghosts…At another time in my life, I was obsessed with reading biographies…At another point, I read books about slavery….So relationships are my current obsession I guess…

So back to what I was about to say about articles on relationships. Through reading one particular article, I have discovered that since I am a pretty anxious person by nature, and I have a tendency to sabotage relationships as a result because I’m always expecting the “other shoe to drop” so to speak…I read the original article back in 2007, but I found it yesterday on another person’s blog.

Anyway, at the end of the article is a link to a test that simulates a romance through presenting various scenarios in a relationship that happen over a period of time. By taking the test, Choose Your Own Adventure, which lasts about 15 minutes, you can determine the way you relate to others in a romantic relationship. I rated 6.61 on a scale of 1 to 7, with 1 being low anxiety and 7 being high anxiety. (Yes, DKW, I am very anxious!)

I'm sure she is not one to be played with...

So my mama is right! Historically, I have been a commitment phobe…If you chase after someone who you really cannot be caught, maybe its because you know he or she can never get close enough to the real you to hurt you…

DEEP…

Any thoughts?

P.S. This is totally off topic…Okay, has anyone seen the video for “Blame It” by Jamie Foxx…Opie aka Richie Cunningham aka Hollywood power broker Ron Howard is in the video and so is the recently deceased Izzy Stephens from Grey’s Anatomy…Hilarious!

P.P.S. Has anyone seen the “President Obama” spoof of the video for “Blame It?” Even more hilarious!