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The Giving Away of a Daughter: A Father’s Day Meditation…

Hello World,

fatherAs you hopefully realize, today is Father’s Day! Last month, it seemed the world over celebrated their mothers for Mother’s Day with unabashed praise and adoration, but for many, Father’s Day is decidedly less shiny…If Mother’s Day is a sun high up in the sky, brilliant day, Father’s Day is a sun behind the clouds day, a day that could go either way…Maybe it’s because Father’s Day dredges up painful remembrances of fathers that did not live up to expectations for some…(Hallmark has even created a Father’s Day card for black women  🙁 )Or maybe Father’s Day is not as shiny a day as Mother’s Day because although children are created by mothers and fathers, mothers literally bear a more tangible connection to their children…

Thankfully, I cherish my mother as much as I do my father…I have written about my father in “Color Him Father, Color Him Love (An oldie but goodie…)” and “Reflections on being a Preacher’s Daughter Without the Reality Show…” and now I have a new memory to share…As I was preparing to get married almost two years ago, I was not only aware that I was taking Robert’s hand to walk with him for the rest of our days, I was also keenly aware that I was letting go of the hand of the man that had loved me best…My Dear Ole Daddy :)…And it made me sad even in the midst of my joy…And I was nervous too…Although I had been living on my own for many years, I always felt that my Dad was watching out for me…While we did not expressly talk about all of this, I think he was processing his own set of feelings too…Sometimes I would catch him looking at me. And though his eyes were directed toward me, but they would be focused on something or maybe some place else…

When it was time to actually plan the events of the reception, I waffled about asking him to dadandmedance with me at the reception…After all, this was the same man who showed up at one of my high school dances wearing his pajamas and a trench coat to drag me out of there…But my mom suggested I ask him anyway…I was surprised when he said, “Yes.” Our Father-Daughter Dance was kind of awkward, but I think it illuminated what was going on in our hearts…I imagine it’s incredibly awkward to give a daughter away when you remember when your daughter was just a thought and then that thought became a tiny human being that you watched grow into a woman…And as much I looked forward to moving forward with Robert, it was awkward to realize another man would be the keeper of the treasure trove of my heart…

And although that transition is taking shape every day that passes by, I’m glad I’ve (or rather God) chosen a man that possesses the kindness of my father…My father makes the effort to be kind to all living creatures from animals to human beings…I remember when I was in fifth grade, I had a fluffy black dog named Buffy and she would follow my father and I as we walked to my bus stop each morning. One morning, after I was picked up from the bus stop, a car hit Buffy and she died. My father carried my bleeding, dead dog all the way from the bus stop down a hill to the back yard of our home where he buried her…I see that same kindness in my husband when I feel like I’m about to unleash hell with my mouth until I look at Robert…He doesn’t even have to say anything. With his eyes, he tells that he doesn’t want to fight…And nothing makes you feel more savage than picking a fight with someone who refuses to do so…

According to an The Atlantic article “Masters of Love,” research has demonstrated that “kindness (along with emotional stability) is the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage. Kindness makes each partner feel cared for, understood, and validated—feel loved.” I’m so grateful that I have a kind father and now I have a kind husband…

So Happy Father’s Day to all of the fathers out there especially mine – Dr. Denzil D. Holness…I love you always…

Any thoughts?

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When A Sanctuary Isn’t Safe: Commentary on the Charleston Church Shooting

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Hello World,

By definition, a sanctuary is a safe place. And a church sanctuary, a place dedicated to God, should be, just ought to be the safest place on earth to dwell. And so when I heard about the shooting at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina late Wednesday night, the fact that a church sanctuary is no longer the safest place on earth was my first thought. And if you cannot be safe in a church sanctuary, well, there is really no place else to go except to Heaven…

But I’m not ignorant of American history. American black churches have long been terrorized by racist acts…

Ku Klux Klan members, planted a bomb at Sixteenth Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama and killed four girls, Addie Mae Collins, 14; Denise McNair, 11; Carole Robertson, 14; and Cynthia Wesley, 14 on Sept. 15, 1963.

On June 16, 1964, Ku Klux Klan members, who were targeting white civil rights worker Michael Schwerner, burned down Mount Zion Church in Longdale, Mississippi but not before beating the church members as they left the church.

Within hours of the election of President Obama in November 5, 2008, three white men torched Macedonia Church of God in Christ in Springfield, Massachusetts.

And these are just a few of these terrorist acts…

And for American black people, churches have historically been much more than houses of prayer which is why black churches have been targets for racist attacks throughout the years. Aside from endeavoring to usher black people to Heaven, black churches also contributed to the betterment of their members’ lives on earth by being havens as slaves hid themselves along the Underground Railroad to escape slavery, establishing schools at a critical time in the nation’s history when education was often denied black people and affirming our humanity by refusing to allow members to be second-class citizens in their houses of worship…Below are just a few contributions of black churches to America…

First African Baptist Church in Savannah, Georgia was a stop on the Underground Railroad as underneath the lower auditorium floor is another “subfloor.” Only four feet of height separates the floors.

Springfield Baptist Church in Augusta, Ga. is the birthplace of Morehouse College which began as Augusta Bible Institute in 1867. The name of the institute was later renamed Morehouse College, moving to Atlanta in 1879.

According to the Emanuel A.M.E. website, “in 1822 the church was investigated for its involvement with a planned slave revolt. Denmark Vesey, one of the church’s founders, organized a major slave uprising in Charleston…During the Vesey controversy, the AME church was burned. Worship services continued after the church was rebuilt until 1834 when all black churches were outlawed. The congregation continued the tradition of the African church by worshipping underground until 1865 when it was formally reorganized, and the name Emanuel was adopted, meaning ‘God with us.'”

But as our predecessors knew way back when that we have to realize right now is: Until we get Heaven (if that is where you are headed), we have to live right here in this once slavery allowing, gender pay gap perpetuating , Kim Kardashian breaking-the-Internet glorifying, Honey Boo Boo paying, ozone layer puncturing, obesity causing, transracial entertaining, God’s name in vain taking, black lives minimizing, racist white police officers excusing, school shootings fostering, prosperity gospel teaching, government stalling, election stealing, God increasingly marginalizing country of ours…And I’m sure you could add to the list…In other words, no place, not even black church sanctuaries, is safe no matter what we would like them to be.

So what are we to do on this day June 19, Juneteenth and going forward?

As simplistic as this may sound, first of all, we have to make our souls are sanctuaries. Unless, we purge the hate from our hearts, even our souls are vulnerable to the attack of the enemy which I know is the spiritual force that influenced this most recent terrorist Dylan Roof ,who was allowed to come into Emanuel A.M.E. Church’s Bible Study where he subsequently murdered nine innocent people: Emanual Pastor the Rev. Clementa Pinckney, Sharonda Coleman-Singleton, Cynthia Hurd, Tywanza Sanders, Myra Thompson, Ethel Lee Lance, Rev. Daniel L. Simmons, the Rev. Depayne Middleton-Doctor, and Susie Jackson . Ironically, the Bible is the blueprint for the saving of our souls.

Secondly, we have to acknowledge that racism is still here in 2015 despite our black president and all of the other accomplishments black people have amassed in recent decades. In fact, and I may be mistaken, the election of President Obama seems to have galvanized racists in a way that rivals the terrorism of white supremacists decades ago.

Thirdly, black people, white people, people that love people, all people need to find ways to promote racial reconciliation whether that be in politics, churches, in school systems, at the grocery store, etc.

In big ways and in small ways, we have to REFUSE to succumb to the prevailing notion that we are different. People may have different ways of expressing themselves and we can celebrate and should appreciate our differences, but underneath it all, we are all creations of God no matter how He grouped us.

I don’t know if my words will make a bit of difference, but this is my commentary on sanctuaries, church or otherwise, in 2015. There are none and never have been except the ones that we create within our soulds through God and take with us when we die and return to God.

At the very least, please pray for the friends and families of those slain by this terrorist…And if you live in the metro Atlanta area, there will be a prayer vigil to demonstrate solidarity with those grieving in South Carolina on Saturday evening, 6/20, at 8pm at Stockbridge City Hall, 4640 N Henry Blvd, Stockbridge, GA 30281.

Any thoughts?

 

 

 

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New York Times Best-Selling Author Kimberla Lawson Roby Is Heading to Atlanta Tomorrow (INTERVIEW)!!!

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Hello World,

Rev. Curtis Black is back in The Ultimate Betrayal (A Reverend Curtis Black Novel)!

It’s been four years since 28-year-old Alicia Black, daughter of Reverend Curtis Black, divorced her second husband, the most womanizing and corrupt man she has ever known. Since then, Alicia has been dating her first husband, Phillip Sullivan, a wonderfully kind and true man of God whom she’d hurt terribly by cheating on him. Alicia has worked hard to prove herself worthy of his trust once more, and when he asks her to marry him again, she couldn’t be happier.

But Levi Cunningham, the drug dealer Alicia had an extramarital affair with, has just been released from prison, and he has completely turned his life around for the better. Still head-over-heels in love with Alicia, he will do whatever is necessary to win her back. Remarrying Phillip is the one thing Alicia has wanted for years, but she can’t get Levi out of her mind…

You have to read the book to know the rest of the story…

Kimberla Lawson Roby will be signing The Ultimate Betrayal at Barnes & Noble, 1217 Caroline Street, Atlanta, GA 30307 on Thursday (tomorrow), June 18, 2015 at 7 p.m.  THE_ULTIMATE_BETRAYAL_-_Hi-Res

Check out my interview with Kimberla below:

1. What inspired you to write the 12th installment of the Reverend Curtis Black series, The Ultimate Betrayal?

I wanted to write this particular installment, partly because readers have been asking to hear more about Alicia’s life from her point of view and partly because I’ve been wanting to tell more of her story for a while. She is definitely her father’s daughter in more ways than one.

2. Alicia, the Reverend Curtis Black’s daughter, has the opportunity to be reconciled with her first husband Phillip Sullivan, a kind and true man of God. And yet she is still attracted to the drug dealer Levi Cunningham, the man with whom she had an extramarital affair. Why?

While Phillip is the ideal man in everyone’s eyesight (and rightfully so), Alicia is very much in love with Levi—even though she tries to deny it. She loves Phillip, too, but not in the same manner. She has a certain passion and connection with Levi that she’s never shared with any man…not even Phillip.

3. One of the other characters, Melanie, in this book, may be struggling with anorexia. Why did you create a character who could be struggling with this eating disorder, and how did you research anorexia?

I wanted to create Melanie’s character because so many times we believe anorexia can only occur with young people, specifically with teenagers. However, anorexia can take place at any age and for many different reasons. I did lots of research based on multiple real-life people who have suffered with this condition for years.

4. What can your readers expect from the Reverend Curtis Black in this installment?

A good while ago, Reverend Curtis Black turned his life around for the better. He is a true man of God, he’s faithful to his wife, and he works hard to do the right thing in general. So, when he begins to suspect that his daughter, Alicia, is up to her old tricks, he calls her on it and warns her to stop whatever it is she’s doing. He reminds her of all the tragedy that came about when he made similar mistakes.

5. Of all of the characters you have created in your 20-year career, which character in which book are you the most like and how?

In my fourth novel, It’s a Thin Line, I based the Sydney character on myself and the Delores character on my mom, who really did have a benign, yet aggressive brain tumor. Watching my mom deteriorate and ultimately losing the woman who meant everything in the world to me was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure. This is the reason some of the dialogue between Sydney and Delores is almost identical to some of what my mom and I said to each other.

6. How do you get inspired to write your novels?

I am completely inspired by my love of writing fiction as well as by my amazing readers who continually give me such kind words of encouragement and support. If it weren’t for my readers, I couldn’t and wouldn’t do what I do as a writer, year after year. I certainly thank God for each and every one of them.

7. Some may classify your novels as Christian fiction, and Christian fiction has experienced significant upheaval recently. To what do you attribute your longevity in the publishing industry (other than God), and what advice do you give to Christian fiction authors who are just starting out and who also want to be successful over the long term?

My longevity in the publishing business is indeed a result of God’s blessings and His calling on my life, and I also believe that writing about real-life social issues has made a huge difference. With every book, I try to write stories that readers can relate to or they know a family member or friend who can relate. I also write about topics that are important (and sometimes controversial), but they aren’t discussed as much as they should be.

Kimberla Lawson Roby is the author of the best-selling works A Christmas Prayer, The Prodigal Son, A House Divided, The Perfect Marriage, The Reverend’s Wife, Secret Obsession (novella), Love, Honor, and Betray, Be Careful What You Pray For, A Deep Dark Secret (novella), The Best of Everything, Sin No More, One in a Million (novella), Love and Lies, Changing Faces, The Best-Kept Secret, Too Much of a Good Thing, A Taste of Reality, It’s a Thin Line, Casting the First Stone, Here and Now and Behind Closed Doors. She lives with her husband in Illinois.  For more information, go to kimroby.com.

Any thoughts?