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Can the Black Church Cheat Black Women Out of Marriage & Kids…

Hello World,  blacklove

If the election results in your state didn’t go quite the way you voted, shake it off today…God’s mercies are new every morning…Stay engaged, but more importantly stay prayed up…Okay, off of my political soapbox and on to the issue of the day on this here blog…

This week I have happened upon three articles about black relationships that have caused me once again to lament the messages that are being disseminated about the state of black on black love…

On Sunday, I read this article “No Scrubs? The Dilemma of Modern African-American Women” by New York Post reporter David Kaufman….According to this misguided writer, the choice of Rachel Noerdlinger, chief of staff for City of New York First Lady Chirlane McCray, to be with ex-con boyfriend Hassaun McFarlan is proof that black women have nobody to date and must date ex-cons if they hope to be with black men at all…and that the only choice for black women at this point is to boo up with white wen…I know Rachel Noerdlinger assists the wife of an elected official, but who elected her Black Women’s Dating President…I am reasonably sure this is not a title she even wants…Obviously this woman likes a “bad boy” for whatever reason…She is not the first one and she won’t be the last one to like a rough neck…and that goes for women of all races…

A day later, I see this – “Well-Traveled, Intelligent Black Man, 34, Seeks ‘Sista’ OK With Him Making Less Money” on theroot.com…Jermaine Terrell Star says the sistas ain’t checkin’ for him because although he “spent all of [his] 20s traveling around Eastern Europe—mainly through Peace Corps, Fulbright and language study-abroad programs—and earning degrees,” he wasn’t making moves on the career front, relegating him to a lower salary when he finally did enter the working world…making him not the optimum choice for black women who entered the working world when they were in their ’20s and have the salaries to prove it…

So which is it? Are black women forced to choose from ex-cons or not willing to date black men who don’t quite measure up financially? I just don’t think both can be true…

rainaNow on to the article that made me have to gone head and whip up this blog post…“How the ‘Black Church’ Cheated this Woman Out of the Possibility of Marriage With Kids…” Raina T. Shaw on beyondblackwhite.com said that while she was yet holdin’ on for a black man in the church since she was 19 years old (praying, tithing, believing and serving/volunteering in the church), — the saved and sanctified men eventually passed her up for “someone that wasn’t even in church. Usually, it was somebody that they fornicated with and got sexually turned out. After that they didn’t care if the woman was “saved” or not. He was going to make a convert out of this freak of the week with three kids! The men talked holiness, chastity and celibacy but wanted the same thing that other non-Christian men wanted after all. The church girls got tricked and are tricked on a continuous basis to this day.”

Then she went on to say that the black church encourages black women “to settle for under achievers, ex-cons, drug addicts, men on the downlow that are fighting the feeling, men with many divorces and children, under and unemployed but they get a pass from the saints because they know all of the scriptures.”

Finally, she broke it all the way down and said she does not regret “passing on marrying and having children with dysfunctional, unmarriageable men but, I am absolutely sure that had I not limited my dating pool to so called ‘saved,’ “Christian” men in the black church and black men in general, I would now be a wife and mother.” Oh yeah, she is also looking forward to “tak[eing] up with a non-black gentleman that recognizes and appreciates a black queen like myself when he encounters one.”

You may also want to check out similar commentary on “Honest Question: What Do Folks Expect Quality Black Women to Do? Shrivel Up and Die?” which is about Jacque Reid’s quest to find a quality man…

Now, let me be clear…I’m not against interracial relationships…wherever you find love or love finds you is beautiful… but I am against black women being cast as desperate and without options and black men being cast an ex-cons or not marriage material altogether…What say you?

Any thoughts?

 

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Should the Atlanta Falcons Be in Church Today?…The Church Lady Curse…

Hello World,

(from 11 Alive News)

(from 11 Alive News)

I’m not really a sports aficionado…Most of what I know about what’s going on in the sports world is just told to me by my husband…However, I must admit I’ve been checkin’ for the Atlanta Falcons over the last year or so when I heard the news that two historic black churches, Friendship Baptist Church, Atlanta’s oldest black Baptist church which was instrumental in the founding and establishment of Morehouse and Spelman Colleges and  Mount Vernon Baptist Church would be demolished to make room for a brand new $1.2 billion stadium for the Atlanta Falcons…Members of the churches voiced strong opinions on either side, but one member of Mt. Vernon Baptist Church, called the church lady by 1380 WAOK’s Derrick Boazman, spit her words out with absolutely no restraint at all…

“Desecrating the sacred ground of two historic black churches to build a stadium facility for a second rate football team,” said Mount Vernon Baptist Church member Vickie Johnson, according to an 11Alive News report by Keith Whitney…

I cannot personally vouch for Ms. Johnson’s personal relationship with God, but she may know something that Arthur Black, owner of the Atlanta Falcons, and the Atlanta Falcons don’t y’all…Since then, the Atlanta Falcons haven’t been able to string a few wins together, losing 17 of 22 games according to Whitney, when the team seemed to be at least a decent team before Ms. Johnson put the whammy on them…Last week, they even traveled (along with many hopeful fans) and lost royally in London..

So I’m thinking this needs to be you, Mr. Blank, and the Atlanta Falcons, on today, since the Atlanta Falcons aren’t playing…

 

And if you see a church lady like this at a black church:

black church lady

Or if you see a church lady like this at a white church:

white church lady

You best bow down, confess your sins and ask for forgiveness…

Any thoughts?

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A Christmas Prayer – NEW BOOK ALERT!!!

Hello World, A Christmas Prayer--Kimberla Lawson Roby (2)

Although the Georgia warm weather may have you fooled, the countdown to Christmas has begun for many people…Even though we still have to celebrate Thanksgiving, it is a good time to plan for the Christmas gifts we will give to our family and friends…At the same time, there are some who would rather avoid the holiday altogether…New York Times bestselling author Kimberla Lawson Roby is back with a new book that would be a great Christmas gift for family and friends and addresses those who are not looking forward to the holiday…Presenting “A Christmas Prayer”

In A CHRISTMAS PRAYER, readers meet Alexis Fletcher, who hasn’t had a merry Christmas in five years — not since her mother passed away. Every December she remembers the joy her mother brought to everyone during the holiday season and feels the pain of her absence, even more so now that she and her sister are barely speaking. More than anything, Alexis wishes her family could be whole again.

However, with her wedding fast approaching, Alexis might just be ready to make some holiday memories with a new family of her own. Alexis’s fiancé, Chase Dupont, is everything she ever dreamed of. He’s kind, handsome, completely supportive of Alexis’s career and is CEO of a large company. But outside forces threaten to derail this happy couple from ever reaching the altar. As tensions rise, a dramatic event causes Alexis to question everything. Will fate give her what she needs to finally embrace the season that has brought her so much pain? Will Alexis finally have a happy holiday? Or will her Christmas prayer go unanswered?

“A Christmas Prayer” is the first Christmas novel in Roby’s 21-book career, and one to which Roby — who hasn’t fully celebrated Christmas since the passing of her mother — can relate.

About the Author

RobyFinalAuthorPhoto2012 (2)Kimberla Lawson Roby is the author of the acclaimed works “The Prodigal Son,” “A House Divided,” “The Perfect Marriage,” “The Reverend’s Wife,” “Secret Obsession” (novella), “Love, Honor, and Betray,” “Be Careful What You Pray For,” “A Deep Dark Secret” (novella), “The Best of Everything,” “Sin No More,” “One in a Million” (novella), “Love and Lies,””Changing Faces,” “The Best-Kept Secret,” “Too Much of a Good Thing,” “A Taste of Reality,” “It’s a Thin Line,” “Casting the First Stone,” “Here and Now” and “Behind Closed Doors.” She lives with her husband in Illinois.

Visit the author online at kimroby.com.

Any thoughts?