Posted on Wednesday, October 23, 2013

The Light and the Life that was Lola…

Yesterday, a wife, mother, daughter, friend and my Delta line sister Lola died…When one of my other line sisters told me yesterday, I was stumped. Although my line sister had been wrestling with the enemy that is cancer for 10 years, I never seriously contemplated that she would die. And then I thought about how mysterious and fragile life is…Yesterday was a regular Tuesday, I’m sure, for most of us. I went to work. I logged into Facebook way too many times. I drove home thinking about what I would be eating for dinner. Nothing extraordinary. And then I was told that my line sister had slipped away. Never to be seen on this side of Heaven again. Something extraordinary had happened and I hadn’t discerned it. But that’s life. The ordinary and extraordinary are juxtaposed all of the time even though we don’t always discern it…

19 D.R.S.

I met Lola in the University of Georgia’s Athens in 1995, the year that we were made 19 Devastating Reflections of Sisterhood…Delta girls. I had longed to be Delta since an older cousin and a mentor both regaled me with stories of this dynamic sisterhood years earlier. And now was my chance to be set apart too. Although my insecurities warred within me, I managed to conceal them as I met the girls that would be my line sisters. Since I was teased about my looks as a child, I wondered if my beautiful line sisters would accept me as family. Lola was one of the most beautiful ones to me. Her slanted eyes, her creamy blemish-free skin, her sleek long hair made her stand out on campus. But her beauty wasn’t like a billboard – impossible to ignore but ultimately one dimensional. She could sing. She could dance. She could step. She could play the piano. She had that VIBE, which is the line name our big sisters bestowed on her. And beyond all of that, she was just nice. As I got to know her, I was dumbfounded that she had insecurities too. She even told me that she admired me for my independence and strength! Being bullied for years does have some benefits I guess…

And then one by one, we graduated, not knowing but hoping that we were prepared to conquer the inevitable challenges of adulthood. I ran around Atlanta trying to get somebody to hire me at their company and chasing rappers and actors…I was surprised and maybe a tad ashamed when my line sisters started getting married and acting like adults because in many ways, I still felt like I was a child. Living with my parents until I was 28 years old didn’t help. Lola got married in 2001, and I was so happy that she had found someone that would maneuver the maze that is life with her. They became parents to a son not too much longer afterward. Adulthood looked good on her as just about everything did. And then breast cancer took a swipe at her. In 2003, she was diagnosed with breast cancer for the first time at 28 years old. The 20s were not supposed to be for breast cancer. Breast cancer was supposed to be a challenge for women in their 40s and beyond. But one of adulthood’s lessons is supposed to be is far less common than what actually is. But a mastectomy later, we were all convinced that Lola was fine. At least that is we prayed for.

Statistics are just numbers until they play out in your life. According to the American Cancer Society, one out of every eight women will grapple with invasive breast cancer. Unfortunately, this statistic proved to be true for my line sisters. Our line sister Kimberly Hudson Causby died in May 2005 due to breast cancer. If we didn’t know before, we certainly knew by then the carefree college days were over. It was a big and distasteful dose of adulthood that we had to swallow and digest. And then six years later, a year AFTER the percentage of recurrence supposedly drops, in 2009, at 34 years old, my line sister Lola would have to square off with breast cancer yet again. This time, though, Lola would not be just a breast cancer survivor, she became a breast cancer champion. From Maryland, she organized her supporters, friends, sorors and line sisters and got us to walk with her in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk in Atlanta in October 2010 although she was still completing her treatment. We honored Kim and we celebrated Lola! She had warred with breast cancer twice and only managed to become even more beautiful!

That same year I had been awarded a book deal to write my first book “After the Altar Call:

Celebrating Lo at Loca Luna…Isn’t that cake beautiful?!

The Sisters’ Guide to Developing a Personal Relationship With God.” I wanted to interview black women from varied backgrounds and experiences about their encounters with God. I knew I had interview my line sister because I knew her story would be a testament to the best of human strength born in Lola and the infinite and supernatural strength of God. She allowed to me to probe and maybe even pry until we crafted a story that would be permanent evidence of her victory. Now, the day after she has departed, the conversation that became a story is even more poignant. In October 2011, Lola organized all of us again and traveled back to Atlanta for us to take part in the walk for the second time. I was also in the midst of promoting my book, and I had scheduled Lola to be interviewed by Soror and Television Reporter Blayne Alexander of 11 Alive News. Lola was delighted to be interviewed and share her story during National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Again, a day after she scraped off her earthly clay to allow her heavenly spirit to shine through, I am so thankful that her story was captured on a screen.

In February 2012, my book was released and Lola flew down to come to my book release party. Just seeing her and many of my line sisters celebrating one of my most cherished dreams finally becoming a tangible reality was a memory that will always warm me even on my coldest days. None of us knew that cancer, the gluttonous beast that it is, was waiting to attack my line sister yet again. A few months later, Lola told me the cancer had returned, but it was no longer breast cancer. It had metastasized to other parts of her body. I cried and prayed. If I were a perfect Christian, I guess I would have been free of fear, but I’m not so I wasn’t. But I never imagined her dying. I just continued to pray. I asked my church to pray. After a few months and various treatments, she told her tumors shrank by 50 percent! And in October 2012, Lola and her Brown’s Babes as she named us in 2010 assembled ourselves together again for a third Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk.

Twelve years after Lola got married, I finally felt grown and grounded enough to take care of and be taken care by a husband. Most of this year has been devoted to wedding planning. I checked on Lola periodically and concluded that she was indomitable as she had been for 10 years, particularly when I received an invitation for the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk for this very month. This time, however, Lola opted to take part in the walk in Charlotte, North Carolina instead of Atlanta, Georgia. She told us it was because the walk in Charlotte was closer to home as she had moved back to South Carolina, her home state. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to make it because of some professional obligations here in Atlanta, but I told her that I sent in my donation in her name.

Last week, a week as of yesterday, as I wrote my check, an ugly thought invaded my consciousness. “What if this is the last opportunity I will have to see her?” But I relegated that thought to the outskirts of my mind and mailed my donation. Lola thanked me for my contribution and I went on with the ordinariness of my day convinced that extraordinariness warns like a train horn when it is about to appear. As of yesterday, less than a week after the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk in Charlotte on Saturday, I now know that extraordinary had warned me but in my humanity did not perceive it.

Light is often compared with life. The strongest of lights are bright and illuminating and so are the strongest of lives…Imagine today Lola is with the Father of heavenly lights…I don’t know why the Father chose to take her when He did or even have her go through all that she went through when she was here, but I am confident that she has been completely healed and is in Heaven with Him…

Pray her husband, her son, her entire family, friends, sorors, line sisters…all of us that knew and loved her…

Any thoughts?

Posted on Sunday, October 20, 2013

Taking Care of Your Temple: Introducing 1245 Salon and Spa’s New Look!!!

Hello World,

Don’t get it twisted! Just because we are Christians does not mean we have to ignore our outer beauty to work on our inner beauty! In fact, in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, it says…

^“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

So when I was invited to tour 1245 Salon and Spa and see the transformation that has been made since the salon and spa was remodeled, I said, “Why not?” As Adrienne Bailon, who is starring in “I’m In Love With a Church Girl,” said, “Jesus didn’t say we couldn’t be fly!”

1245 Salon and Spa, located at 1245 Fowler Street NW in Atlanta near Atlantic Station, unveiled the new look this fall, following a three-month transformation totaling approximately $24,000. Terrell Dinkins, of Posh Interiors, LLC, was the interior designer on the makeover. Below are some of the makeover highlights:

Makeover highlights include:

Adding a curved wall to create a separate lobby area
Applying blue and green paint colors to provide more of a spa feel
Installing two partition walls to expand the dryer room and create privacy in the shampoo area
Lightening up the floors from an earlier drab brown to a new light grey
Replacing commercial lights in the ceiling with other types of lighting, including pistachio green pendant lights and recessed lighting
Creating a photo gallery of client head shots to showcase the work of the salon’s master stylists
Completing the salon’s look with new furnishings, decorative accessories and wall art

“At 1245 Salon and Spa, our clients are top priority,” says Terrell Mack, co-owner and master cosmetologist, 1245 Salon and Spa. “This makeover is just one way to show our appreciation to our loyal customers, while creating a home-away-from-home experience for them and our growing clientele. We couldn’t be more excited!”

Not only was I invited to see the transformation of the salon and spa, I was also invited to try out one of their services. I opted to try out a foot detox. Maybe that is what Jesus was doing when he washed the disciples’ feet! I’m just kidding! If you have never heard of a foot detox (which I hadn’t heard of prior to being invited to the salon and spa), it is the process of removing toxins from the body through the pores of your feet. A spa bath is prepared using water, salt and an ion detox unit. As toxins are pulled, the water turns a variety of colors according to the toxins in your body…Below are a few photographs detailing my experience…

A chart detailing what may happen in a foot detox…

The ion detox unit and salt…

My toesies in the spa…

Add salt and stir…LOL…

Owner Terrell Mack waiting for the results…

Here we go…

Eeewwwww!!!

I can’t believe that came from my feet…Yuck…

Apparently, in order to experience the best results of having a foot detox, you must have the procedure done at least five to six times. Results include an improved immune system, pain and stress relief and improved sleep!

Below are a few more shots of the salon and spa. Some of the shots are professional (taken by Doug Smith Photography) while some of the shots I took during my visit:

The beautiful lobby…

Barber Hamp Hamilton…

Stylist Laschea Burgess…Get that hair did girl!

More of the salon…

Wall decor…

The best part…Ample & FREE parking…Hard to find in downtown Atlanta nowadays…

The following brands are included in the makeover: Terrell Dinkins, Posh Interiors, LLC (www.poshinteriorsllc.com); Warden Contracting Company, Inc. (www.wardencontracting.com); CertaPro Painters (www.certapro.com); Lowe’s (www.lowes.com); Canvas4Life.com (www.canvas4life.com); The Company Store (www.thecompanystore.com); Kohl’s (www.kohls.com); Steve Silver Co. (www.ssilver.com); Coaster Fine Furniture (www.coasterfurniture.com); Pink Door Décor (www.pinkdoordecor.com); UncommonGoods.com (www.uncommongoods.com); Dream Room Designs (www.dreamroomdesigns.com).

With more than 50 combined years of experience, the team at 1245 Salon and Spa is focused on promoting both the health of the client’s hair and body. Siblings Terrell Mack, Tammy White and Rodney Mack are founders and managing partners for the family-owned business that includes parents Joe and Jean Mack. Services include relaxers, shampoo and styles, demi and semi color, cuts, weave and natural style services, amino acid treatments and more. www.1245salon.com

Any thoughts?

Posted on Wednesday, October 16, 2013

I’m In Love With a Church Girl (GIVEAWAY)

Hello World,

As a pastor’s daughter who was in church every Sunday and every Wednesday and who couldn’t go to parties until I was in college, I looked forward to the day I could break out! I wanted to do whateva I wanted to do with anyone I wanted to do it with…Dating a “bad boy” was at the top of my list! Now that I’m 40 and married and a devoted Christian woman on my own terms, I’ve outgrown my need to be a wild child, but every once in a while, I’m reminded of just how I felt back then…

That’s why when I heard about about this new movie “I’m In Love With a Church Girl” at Blogalicious earlier this month, I was intrigued….Below is a synopsis of the movie from imbd.com.

Miles Montego (Ja Rule) has it all – cars, boats, good looks, mansion, money, women, but more importantly, he has a past. Miles is a retired high level drug trafficker who is now completely legitimate. Even though Miles has turned over a new leaf, the DEA can’t seem to let him out of their sights. Miles’ only downfall is that he is extremely loyal to his circle of friends and former colleagues who are not retired from the lucrative business.

Struggling to keep on the right side of the law, Miles meets the one girl of his dreams but she’s not the usual type of girl that he’s used to dating. Vanessa (Adrienne Bailon) is a church girl in every sense of the word. They are tested to their last ounce of faith and strength in God and each other. God continues to chip away at Miles through struggles from his past, having to live up to his reputation, feelings of unworthiness, the death of his mother, federal charges, his friends being indicted, the strain on his relationship with Vanessa, almost losing her in a near fatal car accident, and finally the spiritual breakdown and one on one with God that brings Miles to his knees.

Sounds intriguing, right? Well, Adrienne Bailon, who stars as Vanessa stopped by Blogalicious to promote the movie and tell all of the bloggers about herself. As someone who has interviewed hundreds of people at this point in my journalism career and has not been impressed with some Hollywood types, I was really impressed with her fun and unaffected personality…

Here are a few quotes from her interview with Stacey Ferguson, Blogalicious co-founder –

On being confused with being one of the Kardashians – “I’m not a Kardashian. I’m from New York. My mom works at Cornell Medical. My mom is from Puerto Rico, and my dad is from Ecuador.”
On being a ‘church girl’ – “I grew up in church singing. I was saved, sanctified and filled with the Holy Ghost… My father was the worship leader.”
On being discovered – “I thought I wanted to be an obstetrician so I had an internship at Beth Israel. This guy came up to me one day and said, ‘Yo ma, you sing?’ I sang ‘His Eye is on the Sparrow.’ He told me about an audition for a girl group. That was in April, and by August, I had a record deal with Tommy Mottola for 3LW. After that was the Cheetah Girls. It was very random.”
On being a star – “When you come from not having much, I feel so grateful. I’m not special, but I’ve been given special opportunities.”
On being grounded – “I have an incredible family. I don’t have a mom that is my manager. She works in the pharmacy department at Cornell, and she still says sometimes, ‘You know we have great [medical] packages!”
On being a Sunday School graduate – “I learned in Sunday School that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. [Romans 8:28]”
On her ‘Church Girl’ co-star rapper Ja Rule who plays Miles – “I known Ja for years. 3LW was the opening act for Ja Rule. People don’t know that Ja Rule has been married for 12 years, and he has three children. He is married to his high school sweetheart!”
On her role as Vanessa in ‘Church Girl’ – “Vanessa goes against stereotypes of being a Christian. I wore my own clothes. Jesus didn’t say we couldn’t be fly! I love that she was sassy, she was witty, she was fun. She is Christlike. She is non-judgmental, and she shows unconditional love. It’s a great love story…It is a movie with a message of hope and faith. It shows that your past does not determine your future.”
On sending Hollywood a message – “As a consumer, you dictate what is in the box office. We can send a message to Hollywood that we want more faith-based movies. And this movie can compete with mainstream movies. Your cousins Chachi and Hosea didn’t come with their camcorder to film this movie.” LOL!!! Love it!

The movie (which also stars T-Bone, Stephen Baldwin, Toby Mac, Michael Madsen, Vincent Pastore and Martin Kove) comes out THIS FRIDAY, Oct. 18! Below is a trailer from the movie….

Also, I received a ‘Church Girl’ t-shirt and a copy of the novel “I’m in Love With a Church Girl” by Ryan Phillips with Galley Molina, writer and executive producer of the film. Actually, the film is based on the life of Galley Molina…If you would like to receive the t-shirt and the novel, name three famous church girls, whether fictional or real, who have fallen in love with bad boys! If you are first to tell me in the comments, I will mail the items to you! You’re welcome!

Any thoughts?