Posted on Sunday, May 31, 2009

Check-In: God Has Got Our Back

Hello World!!!

As of tomorrow, the month of June begins. Can you believe that 2009 is almost half over? I can’t! It seems like just yesterday that I was pondering my goals and dreams for the new year…So how are you doing on your goals and dreams for 2009? My spiritual community and I have a phrase that we use to determine how one another is doing. That phrase is “checking in.” You can “check in” with yourself and with other people.

For the purposes of this blog, I will share some of the “checking in” I have done with myself over the last week. One of my goals for the new year was to start saving money consistently. Wonders of wonders, I have actually been saving! As I take out my tithe out of my paycheck, I also subtract my savings…My savings account isn’t huge, but it is growing. I also wanted to take a finances class or seminar to learn more about finances and become financially healthy. Well, I am proud to say that I now have a financial coach. So I am on track in that area! Another one of my goals is to make this blog the best it possibly can be. I’m working on that…My goal is to post twice a week…This month I haven’t done that…but I’m getting back on track…I also want to expand what I cover on this blog…I don’t have a “game plan” yet for that endeavor, but I will work on that during the month of June. I have also wanted to find a career mentor, but I haven’t been able to find one yet…I hope to work on that in June…we’ll see…

Another one of my goals was to go to five journalism networking events this year…I have attended two so I feel pretty good about that…I need to attend three more and make sure that I utilize contacts that I make at each of these events. And networking for me is not only about working to advance my career…I have learned that it is important to network to help others as well…Another one of my goals was to stay on top of my daily mail and e-mail…Not looking good…I have over 900 new e-mail messages in my inbox and stacks of mail I need to go through…I know it’s important to look at each of these each day, but I get sooo overwhelmed sometimes…Anybody got any tips for making this task more manageable?

So that is a little bit of my “check in.” How are you doing? Have you remembered to dream and dream big? Have you written down your goals? Have you made your vision boards and posted them within easy view? Have you consulted others who may be able to help you achieve your goals? In my experience, it is only with the help of others that I can achieve my goals and dreams. My friend, Dr. Pam Thompson, has begun a series, “Blue Lights in the Basement,” in an effort to “take psychology and life coaching to the streets.” I attended the inaugural session on Friday and what I learned there I think will help me achieve my dreams and goals for this year and beyond…

But let’s face it…sometimes things happen in our lives that we aren’t prepared for that can derail our goals and dreams…Many people have lost their jobs this year…I have experienced that before…It’s not fun for sure…But when that has happened to me, I have learned that God has got my back, and I have always moved onward and upward…(Yes, it has happened to me more than once…) Let me share a portion of the sermon that my father preached for the New Year’s Eve service. He preached on Hebrews 13:5-6. This passage is from The Message version of the Bible.

^5-6Don’t be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,” we can boldly quote,

   God is there, ready to help;
   I’m fearless no matter what.
   Who or what can get to me?

And here are some of the notes that I took from the sermon:

1. Don’t look to money as the source of your supply. If you have a lack of money, that is not the end of the story.

2. Our Heavenly Father is the source of your supply and is able to make a way out of no way.

3. Face the New Year with contentment.

4. Face the New Year with courage. We are not alone on our pilgrim journey…

No matter what, God has got our back…

Any thoughts?

Posted on Sunday, May 17, 2009

If I Were Not A Writer, I Would Be…

Hello World!!!

I just love this pic...sweet and sexy...

I’ve missed you…I intended to write another post last week, but life got in the way…But that’s okay…If you are artist, as I fancy myself to be, you know that your life is your inspiration and when it gets boring, your art becomes boring…Anywho, suffice it to say, I had an interesting week last week that I’m sure will be written about in form or another on this blog…

Case in point: As a friend and I were preparing to run four miles last week (we are training for the Peachtree Road Race here in the A), we discussed what what our careers would be if we had not chosen our current careers….I have wanted to be a writer since I was six years old and never gave serious thought to any other profession, but I told my friend that I would be a television show producer…

But as I was thinking about blogging yesterday, I realized that my initial answer wasn’t really the best answer…I think I would be a psychologist or psychiatrist…My father, who has a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a master’s degree in clinical psychology, has often said that he wanted to be a psychologist before he was called to be a minister. So I must have inherited this interest from him. At any rate, my father has also said that most people who become psychologists do so to understand themselves…That makes sense to me…I love learning what makes me tick…

For roughly the past five years, I have focused on learning about romantic relationships and why my romantic relationships have not last very long historically…As I approached my ’30s, I realized, like many other women around that age, that I would like to get married at some point, but I also realized that with my track record it probably wasn’t going to happen…I mean if you can only date someone three or four or maybe even six months if you try VERY HARD, then it may be unlikely to that you will get married…

So at first, I conducted informal surveys on my friends and family…Since my mother has been married since I’ve known her (ha,ha – a jokey joke), I asked her why she thought my relationships never lasted very long. She said she thought that I was a commitment phobe…At first, I said to myself she doesn’t know what she is talking about, but after doing an inventory of the loves of my life to that point, I started thinking that maybe she had a point. I had a penchant for liking guys that were “hard to get.” In other words, the more you didn’t want me, the more I wanted you…Why would you chase guys that didn’t want to be caught unless you did not want to be caught either…Deep huh? And the guys who wanted to chase me I thought were insanely boring and weak minded. Even deeper…So that was my starting point…

A beautiful blended family...

Since then, I have talked to more people formally and informally to get a grip on why romantic relationships have been so elusive for me. I have also read numerous books. Just to make you laugh, I will post some of the titles here:

The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger – Interesting quote from the book – “Men are only interested in two things: If I’m not horny, make me a sandwich.”

Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others by John T. Molloy – Interesting quote from the book- “The primary diffence between women who marry and those who do not is this: Women who marry insist on marriage. They settle for nothing else.”

The Sistahs’ Rules by Denene Miller – Interesting quote from the book – “The way to a man’s heart is through a great plate of greens. Old- fashioned yes. But trust me – as sure as the sky is blue and Brian McKnight is fine, black men are more apt to fall in love with a woman who can cook them up a nice meal.”

Keeping The Love You Find by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. – Interesting quote from the book – “You will be able to break the repetitive pattern of past relationships; you will change the kind of person to whom you are attracted (and who eventually frustrates you); and you will be in a better position to attract someone who is willing and able to work to achieve a deep and lasting love.”

Falling In Love For All The Right Reasons by Dr. Neil Clark Warren (The E-Harmony Guy) – Interesting quote from the book – “Perhaps in no other area is it more crucial to be well matched than in the area of spirituality.”

Reading each of these books and others have given me insight into myself and others, and I feel blessed that these authors chose to write these books. (Excuse me while I whine for a bit…will my book EVER be published?…okay so back to the topic) And I have also read several interesting articles…And let me just say this…part of the reason why I have devoted so much time to this topic is because I do want to have a long-lasting relationship one day but the other reason is that I just love learning about different topics. When I was in the fifth grade or thereabout, I was obsessed with learning about ghosts and read countless books about ghosts…At another time in my life, I was obsessed with reading biographies…At another point, I read books about slavery….So relationships are my current obsession I guess…

So back to what I was about to say about articles on relationships. Through reading one particular article, I have discovered that since I am a pretty anxious person by nature, and I have a tendency to sabotage relationships as a result because I’m always expecting the “other shoe to drop” so to speak…I read the original article back in 2007, but I found it yesterday on another person’s blog.

Anyway, at the end of the article is a link to a test that simulates a romance through presenting various scenarios in a relationship that happen over a period of time. By taking the test, Choose Your Own Adventure, which lasts about 15 minutes, you can determine the way you relate to others in a romantic relationship. I rated 6.61 on a scale of 1 to 7, with 1 being low anxiety and 7 being high anxiety. (Yes, DKW, I am very anxious!)

I'm sure she is not one to be played with...

So my mama is right! Historically, I have been a commitment phobe…If you chase after someone who you really cannot be caught, maybe its because you know he or she can never get close enough to the real you to hurt you…

DEEP…

Any thoughts?

P.S. This is totally off topic…Okay, has anyone seen the video for “Blame It” by Jamie Foxx…Opie aka Richie Cunningham aka Hollywood power broker Ron Howard is in the video and so is the recently deceased Izzy Stephens from Grey’s Anatomy…Hilarious!

P.P.S. Has anyone seen the “President Obama” spoof of the video for “Blame It?” Even more hilarious!

Posted on Sunday, May 10, 2009

I’ll Always Love My Mama: Mother’s Day Reflections

Look at my hot mom - stylin' & profilin'!

Hello World!!!

I hope that you are celebrating your mother today as this is Mother’s Day! I know that today is a bittersweet day for my mother and father as both of their mothers are now absent from this world and present with the Lord, but I’m sure that today, if only in their thoughts, they will be with their mothers. I’m a Daddy’s girl, but the heart of my family is my mother…Last year, I wrote some devotionals about mothers and their relationships with their daughters and submitted them to a devotional book. However, my entries were not accepted for publication. 🙁 Still, in honor of mothers everywhere, I have decided to post them here. The first one is about my relationship with my mother. Also, I have posted some pics of my mom over the years.

Devotional #1

A Mother’s Mercy

“I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss.

Yet I still dare to hope, when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.”

Lamentations 3:20-22

“A prom for eighth graders,” my father sputtered. “That is inappropriate. No. You cannot go!”

A preacher’s daughter, I realized I had more rules than my girlfriends, but I had hoped in this case my father would let me join in with the crowd. True to form, however, he said no to my request and wouldn’t budge. On the Friday before the prom that weekend, I was a broken spigot of quiet tears and didn’t know how I was going to bear hearing about the prom from my girlfriends on Monday.

My mother, also a preacher’s daughter, surprised me when she said, “I have made an appointment for you to get your hair done and cut tomorrow morning.”

She agreed with my father, but she heard and understood my pain.

At school on Monday, I didn’t get to regale my girlfriends with stories about the prom, but they did “ooh and aah” about my sharp, new haircut!

A mother’s mercy, like God’s mercy, can go a long way in times of distress.

Devotional #2

Mom had da bomb Jheri curl back in the day...(Mom, me and my brother)

Our Impossibilities are God’s Specialties

“Then the Lord said to Abraham, ‘Why did Sarah laugh? Why did she say, Can an old woman like me have a baby? Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return about this time next year, and Sarah will have a son.’”

Genesis 18:13-14

Just months before her thirty-second birthday and no husband on the horizon, Michelle reasoned she wouldn’t be like her mother who had her at 32 years old or her sisters who had their first children at 32 years old. After reading a newspaper article about a shelter, she decided to give to children by helping the shelter’s pregnant teenagers get their GED. Although the program was quickly phased out, Michelle volunteered with the shelter’s “Rock the Baby” program for babies born to drug addicted parents. She was transfixed when she met a dark brown baby dressed in pink named Nicole. The baby resembled her sister who died when she was a baby. Her name was Nicole too. She was surprised when an adoptive mother from the shelter said, “When are you taking Nicole home?” Nicole had become attached to her, but she hadn’t considered adopting her, Michelle replied. “Sometimes it’s not what you choose, it’s who chooses you,” the mother declared. Just months before her thirty-third birthday, Michelle adopted Nicole.

Miracles happen in God’s timing.

Devotional #3

Standing in the Gap

“And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.”

Matthew 18:5

Valerie was an unhappy child. Her mother, who suffered from manic depression, worked as a night barmaid, leaving her with her stepfather. Her stepfather used the time to sexually abuse her. After telling her mother about the abuse, her mother suggested that she move from their Brooklyn, New York home to her Christian aunt’s home in Atlanta, Georgia. Feeling relieved, Valerie, who was 11 years old, immediately moved in her with aunt and her family. From then on, Valerie called her aunt, “Mom.” Still, going from a home with few rules to a home with many rules was challenging. Punctuality and church attendance were not options. After high school graduation, Valerie left her aunt’s home and explored her freedom. Years later, however, Valerie credits her aunt with teaching her punctuality and inspiring her faith in God and prayer. “She filled in the gap for the entire family.” And when her aunt got sick, Valerie’s mother, a Christian by then, cared for her until her death.

God honors those who stand in the gap for children.

That's my mama!

Any thoughts about your mama?