Tag Archives: dating

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7 Books That Should Be On Your 2012 Christmas List!

Hello World,

Today is 12-12-12, and my father’s 70th birthday! Happy Birthday to my father the Rev. Dr. Denzil D. Holness! If you would like to know more about my dear Daddy…please see the post “Color Him Father, Color Him Love.”

If you are anything like me, you are a procrastinator and therefore a last-minute Christmas shopper desperate for ideas for great gifts for loved ones and friends…To that end, I thought I would compile a list of 7 books that I have read that would be great gifts…Read on…

1. “A New Dating Attitude: Getting Ready for the Mate God Has for You” by the Rev. Dr. Susan Johnson Cook. My quick review: This book will revolutionize your dating life from a Christian perspective. The official description: Use the Beatitudes to change your own attitudes as you wait for the mate God is preparing for you. The number of people who wish they were married is myriad. Dating clubs, newspaper columns, and books on how to find a mate are everywhere. But no one has addressed this deep desire like Johnson Cook. She approaches this aching need and difficult situation from both a spiritual and practical perspective, applying the Beatitudes to the number one preoccupation of most single, divorced, and widowed Christian women–how to find a husband. You can find A New Dating Attitude on Amazon and on Barnes & Noble.

2. “Alice Walker: A Life” by Evelyn C. White. My quick review: Did you know “The Color Purple” was inspired by Walker’s own family members? The official description: Alice Walker’s life is remarkable not only because she was the first black woman to win the Pulitzer Prize in fiction (the book that won her that award, The Color Purple, has been translated into nearly thirty languages and made into an Academy Award–nominated film), but also because these accomplishments are merely highlights of a luminous and varied career made from inauspicious beginnings in rural Georgia. Drawing on extensive interviews and exhaustive research, Evelyn C. White brings this life to light. 16 pages of illustrations. You can find Alice Walker: A Life on Amazon and on Barnes & Noble.

3. “The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America’s Great Migration” by Isabel Wilkerson. My quick review: This book should be required reading for all of the history it provides about black people in America. The official description: In this epic, beautifully written masterwork, Pulitzer Prize–winning author Isabel Wilkerson chronicles one of the great untold stories of American history: the decades-long migration of black citizens who fled the South for northern and western cities, in search of a better life. From 1915 to 1970, this exodus of almost six million people changed the face of America. Wilkerson compares this epic migration to the migrations of other peoples in history. She interviewed more than a thousand people, and gained access to new data and official records, to write this definitive and vividly dramatic account of how these American journeys unfolded, altering our cities, our country, and ourselves. You can find The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America’s Great Migration on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

4. “American Tapestry: The Story of the Black, White, and Multiracial Ancestors of Michelle Obama” by Rachel L. Swarns. My quick review: If you loved “Roots” by Alex Haley, you will adore this book about our first lady’s roots. The official description: Michelle Obama’s family saga is a remarkable, quintessentially American story—a journey from slavery to the White House in five generations. Yet, until now, little has been reported on the First Lady’s roots. Prodigiously researched, American Tapestry traces the complex and fascinating tale of Michelle Obama’s ancestors, a history that the First Lady did not even know herself. Rachel L. Swarns, a correspondent for the New York Times, brings into focus the First Lady’s black, white, and multiracial forebears, and reveals for the first time the identity of Mrs. Obama’s white great-great-great-grandfather—a man who remained hidden in her lineage for more than a century. You can find American Tapestry: The Story of the Black, White, and Multiracial Ancestors of Michelle Obama on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

5. “Produced by Faith: Enjoy Real Success without Losing Your True Self” by DeVon Franklin. My quick review: This book gives you a great behind-the-scenes look at how Hollywood movies are made from a Christian Hollywood executive. The official description: STRAIGHT FROM HOLLYWOOD comes a dynamic business model for building a thriving career without compromising your faith. DeVon Franklin, vice president of production for Columbia Pictures, shares how being bold about his Christian faith while being driven and ambitious has actually worked in his favor to help him excel in a high-profile, fast-paced, competitive industry. You can find Produced by Faith: Enjoy Real Success without Losing Your True Self on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

6. “Permission Slips: Every Woman’s Guide to Giving Herself a Break” by Sherri Shepherd. My quick review: You will laugh out loud at Sherri’s dating adventures! The official description: Covering topics such as “It’s Jesus or Jail,” “Marriage, the Hard Way,” “Children: The Gift You Can’t Give Back,” and “All the Things I Don’t Know…And All the Things I Definitely Do,” stand-up comedienne, actress, and ABC’s The View co-host Sherri Shepherd comically chronicles her struggles to keep up with the many roles-professional, wife, mother, daughter, and friend-that women must play in today’s world. Sherri urges women to pursue their most important dreams and to never give up, but also let’s readers know that it’s okay to give themselves “permission slips” when things don’t always work out the way they want them to. You can find Permission Slips: Every Woman’s Guide to Giving Herself a Break at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

And last but not least…at least to me… 🙂

7. “After the Altar Call: the Sisters’ Guide to Developing a Personal Relationship with God”by me 🙂 My quick review: I love this book because I wrote it, and I hope you love it too. The official description: After the Altar Call: The Sisters’ Guide to Developing a Personal Relationship With God is a fresh, real and relevant how-to manual for African-American Christian women who desire to move past the “church speak” and into an intimate relationship with their Creator. The book includes interviews with 24 remarkable women with compelling stories such as the “The View” co-host Sherri Shepherd; Valorie Burton, life coach, author and co-host on the Emmy award-winning show “Aspiring Women” and the former co-host of the national daily television program, “The Potter’s Touch” with Bishop T.D. Jakes; and Bishop Vashti Murphy McKenzie, the 117th elected and consecrated bishop of the African Methodist Episcopal Church and the first woman elected to Episcopal office in over 200 years of A.M.E. history. You can find After the Altar Call: the Sisters’ Guide to Developing a Personal Relationship with God on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Any thoughts?

 

 

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A Man Fast…

Hello World!!!

Since time permits me from writing my usual magnum opus (just kidding), I have decided to dash off a quick but hopefully punchy post. Hopefully, the topic will be meaty enough to inspire your thoughts and your comments. (PLEASE post your comments. It helps my self esteem:))

So here goes. In recent years, I have taken periodic breaks from dating. One of my friends humorously refers to these breaks as my man fasts. Whenever I feel like I’ve become obsessed with finding “The One,” dated a “wildly inappropriate” man or found myself at the end of a gut-wrenching relationship, I’ve found it helpful to allow my heart to simply rest. During these breaks, I try to reflect on how I may have contributed positively or negatively to the relationship, read numerous relationships books (Remember “He’s Just Not That Into You.”); and reflect on God’s will for my life in the area of romantic relationships. Usually, these man fasts last about six months. I usually rebel at the start of my fasts, but by the end of these fasts, I feel like I’ve given myself a priceless gift – the gift of solitude. And as an added bonus, I have found that the next man that comes along is higher up the man food chain, if you know what I mean. Maybe because I’m choosing out of a place of peace rather than desperation…I don’t know…I have found that inner work precedes outer results.

Anyway, my friend, Soul Daddy (check out his Web site at souldaddymusic.com), sent me a link to an article in which a Christian comedian discussed the pitfalls of her online dating. However, the main point of the article that struck me was how she decided to forgo dating for a while. By the end of the article, she was happily married. And yes, I do want to be married someday, and I do believe my man fasts are leading me in this direction. (Even if my friends make fun of me!)

Read the MSN article below. It’s a very easy read. Any thoughts?

Can faith & online dating mix?

By Jennifer Derryberry Mann

Online dating gives us the unique chance to choose our potential dates—a particularly big challenge for those of us who value religion anda chiseled upper body. No one knows that better than Kerri Pomarolli (www.kerripom.com), the author of If I’m Waiting on God, Then What Am I Doing in a Christian Chatroom?In the book, she offers up true tales of her online dating experiences… like clicking on the hotties instead of the guys who shared her faith. Now an advocate for trusting God and using dating sites with a clear purpose in mind, she doesn’t claim to have the recipe for love, but she does have a few guidelines for single Christians online.

Q: What does it mean to be “waiting on God”?
A: For me, waiting on God was about getting to a place where finding a husband didn’t run my life. I couldn’t go three minutes without thinking about getting a date, and eventually I took a year-long hiatus from dating, which let me prepare for what God had in store for me. I don’t think we give God enough credit in our dating lives. We’re like, “I’ll do this, Lord, and then You just bless it.” And God’s like, “Hey, Kerri, I parted the Red Sea. I think I can find you a husband.”

Q: What mistakes did you make when you dated online?
A:My heart was totally in the wrong place. I didn’t pray about it. I was never intentional or really thoughtful about online dating. The first time I logged into a dating site was at 2 a.m. after having run into my ex and his fiancée on my birthday. I’d look at the pictures first and skip the profiles if the guys weren’t hot. I wanted an investment banker who looked like an Abercrombie model. But when it came time to pray, those guys thought I was a zealot.

Q: What are some other unexpected wrong moves people might make?
A:Saving yourself emotionally for marriage is important. For the longest time, I’d spill everything on the first date: Here are my hopes and dreams, here’s my heart. When you break up with me, you can crumple it up and give it back to me. Online, especially, it’s so easy and tempting to be free and not hold anything back. I found out the hard way that you don’t have to be physically promiscuous to be vulnerable. How are you going to feel if you’vehad these soul-searching conversations, and then he stops returning your calls? Also, if you’re obsessive-compulsive about online dating, like I was at times, you might want to have a sponsor. It’s good to have friends who can hold you accountable, so they can ask, “How many hours were you on today?”

Q: What finally changed for you?
A: I started crying out to God for real help and understanding. I changed, and I did it without losing any of the things that God loves about me—not my fun, or my spontaneity, or my spark. I got to six months of not dating, and I was amazed that I was OK when I found myself at home on a Friday night with no date. That’s a secret struggle for so many of us, but God’s message is that He’s there and that we’re never alone.

Q: So how did you finally meet the man you married?
A:One guy I met through onlinedating became a friend of mine, and he actually introduced me to my husband out in the real world. I met Ron on a comedy trip. He was this token Irish comic, wearing a red Hawaiian shirt, shorts, black socks—the worst! But he and Rich, our mutual friend, prayed for me before the show, and I thought that was the coolest. We became friends. Later, when we were traveling together on another trip, he brought my favorite doughnuts, and we were having a great time laughing and joking. I’d never wanted to date “the nice guy.” By the time that trip was over, I’d fallen and was like, “This is crazy, God!” I had been on a dating hiatus for about a year. I’d broken all my rules — never date a friend, never date a comic — but he was just so thoughtful. He called my father to ask for permission to date me. I never give guys like that the time of day, and there’s no way I would have seen Ron in that romantic way if I hadn’t had my eyes on God. But I did!

Jennifer Derryberry Mann is a columnist for Spirituality & Health magazine and the former editor of Science & Spirit magazine. She writes, edits and teaches yoga in Minneapolis.