Pray for Sherri Shepherd…

Hello World,

Me and Sherri :)

Me and Sherri 🙂

By now, many of you have heard the latest news about one of my favorite Christian celebrities Sherri Shepherd….She is going through a divorce…

While I don’t profess to know her, I have met her twice – once at ABC News’  “Nightline” debate “Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?” in 2010 and again just last month when Sherri debuted her new wig line LUXHAIR NOW. As a result of meeting her at the debate, she agreed to be interviewed for my first book “After the Altar Call: The Sisters’ Guide to Developing a Personal Relationship With God.” I believe that her story in my book is one of the reasons why I scored a book deal in 2010…

When I saw her just last month, she seemed to be as positive, upbeat and friendly as she has always been…She gave no indication of the private turmoil she may have been experiencing…And that’s the key: privacy…Her pending divorce is a private matter…Now, let me not be hypocritical…As a self-pronounced pop culture expert and celebrity aficionado, I love to dish and dice the latest and most provocative pop culture and celebrity stories…But since I feel have a personal connection with this celebrity (although most minute I know), I have elected to take the stance of her friend Niecy Nash who was asked her opinion about Sherri’s struggles…Take a look at her brief interview with Hip Hollywood below…

Any thoughts?

The Wedding Industry Heist aka maybe I should go in the wedding planning business

Hello World,

As you know (if you’ve been reading this blog), I got engaged on Christmas Eve 2012! For roughly two months after R.’s proposal, I was in a state of joy and almost disbelief. While our relationship seemed to be heading in that direction almost from the very start, I still found it hard to believe that after all of the time (years) I prayed for God to send the right man to me, he had arrived finally and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me…

Once I announced our engagement to friends, family, etc., everyone kept asking me whenis the date of our wedding. I had no answer for them. I was still trying to mentally adjust to being engaged let alone set the actual wedding date. This went on for January and February, and then all of a sudden, it occurred to me. If I truly did want to get married, I better start thinking of a planning a wedding. After consulting with R., we decided that a summer wedding would be nice. So I got to planning…

My Mom and Dad on their wedding day...

My Mom and Dad on their wedding day…

A few years ago with the help of a financial counselor, I revolutionized my finances and began aggressively budgeting and saving. Since then, I have become a certified cheapskate and proud of it. One of my favorite mottoes is “It it’s free, it’s for me.” So imagine my shock when I discovered the average wedding costs $25,656, according to theweddingreport.com!!! I mean according to the latest statistics from the U.S. Census Bureau, the yearly median family household income is $62,273. So a wedding for many Americans costs almost half of their yearly salary! Am I the only one that thinks this is crazy at best and downright irresponsible at worst?! And then when you factor in that the divorce rate is between 40 and 50 percent, many couples are just wasting money…In fact, I’ve heard that some couples are getting divorced so quickly that they are still paying off wedding expenses when they get divorced! How crazy is that? I’m not getting married to get divorced, but trust and believe that I’m planning a bargain basement wedding! Mama didn’t raise no fool! (Sidebar: Do you know the average cost of a wedding in 1945 was about $2,000? That’s what I’m talking about!)

So if you are thinking of getting married and having a decent wedding, let me just give you a few of the stats so that you can plan accordingly…These figures are based on a wedding of about 136 guests, which is the average amount of people that are invited to a wedding…

I have found that the greatest wedding expense is the cost of the reception…

The reception location costs $3,226, and the average cost for reception food is $4,757. If you want to serve liquor which you very well may need after adding up the costs, you will need to fork over $2,456 for reception bar service…

And if you want to read to see the rest of the numbers, please go to theweddingreport.com.

Since I am a certified cheapskate, I have become obsessed with cutting down the costs of planning a wedding. My goal is to have a tasteful wedding without going into a debt and allocating the majority of our wedding/marriage money for an off-the-chain honeymoon…

So I have a couple of questions for you today…

How much do you spend on your wedding/honeymoon?

Was it worth the costs?

And if you are a certified cheapskate like me, please share your tips on how to trim wedding costs short of getting married at the courthouse!

Any thoughts?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seven Scriptures to Inspire Resilience During Tough Times…

Hello World,

From “Occupy Wall Street” to the divorces of friends, 2011 has shaped up to be a year of change – and not necessarily good change for a lot of our fellow travelers on this earth…Having experienced some tough times in my own life, I’ve learned to consult the Word of God to inspire me and give me the courage to face my life daily when it seems easier to keep the covers over my head and sleep all my troubles away…

1. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”  Romans 8:28  This verse is my absolute favorite verse in the entire Bible because in this verse God promises that He is working together all of my circumstances (good or bad) for my good. The only caveat is that we must love Him first…

2. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. ” Proverbs 3:5-6. It is so tempting to try and figure out why certain things have happened to us, but I have learned in some situations that it is pointless to endlessly ruminate. Instead, it is more powerful and ultimately sane to trust that we are walking on an God-ordained path, a path that only He knows where it will lead…

3. “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”  1 Thessalonians 5:18 I remember when someone first told me that I should give thanks to God for all things – even bad things…I was like, “Yeah right. I should give thanks to God for being fired from my job, not being able to pay my mortgage and not having enough money to fix my car.” But I did what I was advised to do, and it really helped me. When we give thanks to God for all of circumstances, we acknowledge His sovereignty. And God has shown me over and over again that He is more than able to work it all out…

4.  “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 I have learned that God is always with me so I don’t have to succumb to terror and discouragement! Instead, I can focus on the strength and courage that God will give to me if I only ask…

5. “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the LORD Forever.” Psalm 23:6 This is God’s promise that goodness and mercy will permeate all the days of our lives – no matter what it looks like now…

6. “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 Sometimes, just some cold, hard cash would go a long way in solving our problems. I have discovered that the Lord will provide for all of our needs – even financial – when it is needed. I remember a time when I was in between jobs, and a close friend paid my mortgage that month!

7. “…Weeping may endure for a night. But joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5. There is no doubt about it. No one is immune from tough times. But tough times don’t last forever! Joy will come in the morning!

I hope these verses inspire you to be resilient as they have inspired me! The Bible is filled with Good News if we would only crack it open…Also, sometimes God speaks through other good books…Check out “Where Will You Go From Here? Moving Forward When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned,” by certified personal and executive coach Valorie Burton. (Incidentally, I interviewed her for my book.)

Also, please also take a look on my new interview series “Resilience & the Bible” which includes:

Resilience & the Bible: How to Use Scriptures to Bounce Back From – Rebellious Teenagers

Resilience & the Bible: How to Use Scriptures to Bounce Back From – Losing Your Home

Resilience & the Bible: How to Use Scriptures to Bounce Back From – Losing Your Voice

Resilience & the Bible: How to Use Scriptures to Bounce Back From – Racism & Prejudice

Resilience & the Bible: How to Use Scriptures to Bounce Back From – Domestic Violence & Divorce

Resilience & the Bible: How to Use Scriptures to Bounce Back From – Stiff Person Syndrome

Any thoughts?

My favorite gospel song that inspires resilience…”This Battle is Not Yours” by Yolanda Adams…I got to meet her someday and thank her personally for this song because it has me blessed me sooo much over the years…