Hello World,

Picture it…The year was circa 1983 (Shout out to Sophia Petrillo of “The Golden Girls!” You know you watched it!) I was in the fourth grade and a proud member of The MJ Club. Of course, I am referring to Michael Jackson. I had the poster with MJ wearing the yellow sweater with the oh-so-sexy single Jheri curl cascading down his forehead…It was taped to the back of my bedroom door. MJ, wearing a white suit and black shirt, was lying on his side looking all innocent and fresh faced  on another poster on one of my walls…you know the “Thriller” album cover. I wanted to hang the infamous Prince poster on another wall…you know the one with him in some black underwear…I think he was in the shower. Sexy, sexy! I would have settled with the poster with Prince on his motorcycle…you know the “Purple Rain” poster. But my parents were still plugged into popular music back then and weren’t having Prince on my wall. I sported a plastic bag with Michael Jackson’s name inscribed on it. My shirts were covered with Michael Jackson buttons. That Christmas I unsuccessfully begged my parents for an MJ leather jacket with the zippers all over it.  I was definitely one of his top fans under 13 years old.

But somehow during that year, a light-skinned guy with a ridiculously high-pitched voice managed to test my allegiance to MJ. That guy was none other than El “I Like It” DeBarge. In my mind, I was like Michael is cute and all with his Jheri curl and butter voice, but El had that naturally good hair plus he was light-skindeded too…Ha,ha…And his whole family was soo pretty…Around that time, the movie, “The Last Dragon,” came out and quickly became of one my favorite movies at the time. DeBarge’s song, “Rhythm of the Night” was on the soundtrack for that movie and so I became a huge fan of DeBarge.

DeBarge had so many hits…”All This Love,” “Time Will Reveal,” “Love Me in a Special Way,” “Who’s Holding Donna Now,” “You Wear It Well”  They were almost a modern day “The Jackson 5” only there were four brothers and their sister, Bunny…And dudes loved them some Bunny too…And almost as quickly as they appeared on the scene, they exited stage left into near obscurity. I heard rumors that many of the brothers were on drugs, somebody had gone to jail, etc. But I never knew what conclusively happened to them until I watched TV One show “Unsung.”  DeBarge was featured on its first episode. First of all, I had no idea that their father was white and their mother was dark skinned. The children suffered relentless abuse from their father and their mother was unable to protect them from the abuse.  The two elder DeBarge brothers were a part of the group Switch and were responsible for the hit, “There’ll Never Be.” (Love that song!) Drug abuse and infighting ultimately led to the demise of Switch and DeBarge. But one quote from Bunny haunted me after the show ended. She said she hoped the next generation of the DeBarge family would escape the generational curse of drug abuse in their family.

And so this is a looong intro to the topic of generational curses. My favorite author Catherine Marshall has a chapter on the topic in her book, “Something More.” In the chapter, she quotes Deuteronomy 30:19, “I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants.” Marshall also said, “It soon became apparent that just as we can inherit either a fortune or debts, so in the spiritual realm we can inherit either spiritual blessings or those liabilities (unabashedly called ‘sins’ in Scripture) that hinder our development into mature persons. These blessings or liabilities do not come to us solely by heredity. Obviously, they are passed on by example and by teaching – conscious and unconscious.”

For instance, my grandfather was a pastor. My father is a pastor. I have uncles who are pastors. I aspire to be a Christian author. Faith is definitely something that was passed down in my family. According to my dad, so is obsessive thinking…Goodness gracious, sometimes I am terrorized by how fast my mind spins with obsessive, anxious sometimes crazy thoughts. I revealed this unsettling behavior to my dad once and he told me it happens to him too…I wonder who passed it down to him…

If you think of behaviors – good and bad – that were passed down in your family from generation to generation, it seems almost impossible to escape them. However, Marshall describes her method for breaking these generational behaviors. Of course, it starts with praying and meditating on God’s Word. Marshall said, “‘The generations can start to assume their creative function at any point. Even if most of one’s life is in the past and certain children and grandchildren are acute problem cases, yes, even then God can turn this curse that goes down through the generations into a blessing…For each of us-no matter what our situation or how we feel we have failed -there is hope.”

So what do you think about generational blessings and curses? Do they exist? What has been your experience with them?

Any thoughts?

P.S. These pics are of a few of my fave light-skinned singers…I struggled whether to include Chris Brown’s photo…but when I thought about it, what is happening with him and Rihanna may be a perfect example of generational dysfunction. From what I’ve read, Brown watched his stepfather abuse his mother and now it seems Brown has become the abuser…let’s pray that Chris Brown deal with his problem and be the person that God created him to be…

Below is a DeBarge video…