Posted on Wednesday, November 26, 2014

7 Negative Things I’m Thankful For…

Hello World,

At this time of the year, it is appropos to compile the obligatory gratitude list…I’m thankful for my health, family, spouse, etc….Yes, all of those are definitely true, but according to God’s word we are to:

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:1

This means that God expects us to be thankful for even the negative things that He has allowed in our lives, but we have hope in all circumstances, negative and positive, because:

We know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

So with those two verses in mind, I decided to turn my gratitude list on its head and praise God for what I originally thought was negative, but God it turned into positive…I’m going all the way back to childhood…Come with me 🙂

1. Not Being a Popular Kid and Bordering on Being Chubby For Most of My Childhood…I guess I’ve always been self-conscious which doesn’t work well on the playground…If someone asks you to play with him or her on the playground, and you rehearse your answer before you reply…You will probably not be the most popular kid…You will be probably be among the weirdo kids…Or if you would rather watch the Brady Bunch [insert whatever show is popular now] with a snack instead of go outside and play kickball, you will probably be among the chubby kids…But not being the most popular, kinda chubby kid made me develop my inner qualities like compassion and kindness because I was sometimes treated without compassion and kindness…AND now that I’m adult, I have no illusion that I can just sit around and preserve my sexy…Good thing to know when you’re over 40…I have to eat right and work out…no excuses…God knows best…

2. Getting Into the Honors Program at Howard University, But Not Receiving Any Scholarship Money…Like many of my friends who spent our high school years watching a “Different World” or attending Atlanta Football Classic games, I just knew I would be attending an HBCU (historically black college or university)! My chosen HBCU was Howard University in our nation’s capital. I had visited Washington D.C. when I was in the seventh grade, and I vowed I would return there as a college student…But it wasn’t meant to be…Although I got into Howard University and the school’s Honors Program, I didn’t receive any scholarship money…It only made sense that at point to go to the school where I had three scholarships…The University of Georgia…a dreaded HWCU…LOL…To my surprise, I had a blast in college, pledged the most wonderful sorority (Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc.) in the world and got a great journalism education without worrying about being hampered by the debt I would have surely incurred had I gone to my “dream school.” God knows best…

3. Becoming a Christian, and Then Losing My Friends…When I decided to give my life to Jesus Christ and no longer depend on the fact that my father, my uncles and grandfather were pastors, I expected my life to get better…After all, if I know God, the creator of the universe, how could anything go wrong? We cool like that…I was wrong…so very wrong..Many of my friends didn’t understand why I spent more time than the obligatory Sunday morning in church or chose not to go to certain places…I cried and I cried I felt so alone…But it was during those moments that God got me alone that I got to know Him…Many of those friendships have been restored as time has passed…but I still know how to depend on God alone because of that time…God knows best…

4. Losing My Job Right After I Bought My First Home…I must admit I was frantic when I lost my job at a newspaper months after buying my first home…Up until that time, I had been living with my parents and while I paid for my own bills like for my car, clothes, etc., my parents didn’t force me to pay rent or anything although I was a college graduate…All of a sudden, I had to pay more bills with less money…During that year or so, I was depressed…I ignored some bills…I took some jobs beneath my education just to get by…But I also had time to explore my creativity like taking a class on “The Artist’s Way” and seeing a career counselor…And when it was all over, I learned that God was my resource not that job…I learned that I didn’t even want a traditional newspaper job anymore…God knows best…

5. Wanting to Get Married at 30 Years Old, Only to Get Married a Month Short of my 40th Birthday…My mom got married when she was 30 years old…Why would my life be any different? Well, chile, what I did I know? As it turns out, nothing at 30 years old…I had to date some good ones, some bad ones, some crazy ones, etc. before I was finally ready for the man God had for me…Those 10 years were heartbreaking, but they were also precious…a gift of human experiences…I wouldn’t want to go through them again, but I learned so many things about myself and other people that only be taught in the classroom of life…Plus, those years fueled my writing life like nothing else…As any writer knows, pain is the best inspiration…God knows best…

6. Taking Seven Years to Get a Book Deal…In 2002, I had an idea to write a memoir about developing a personal relationship with God, and in 2003, I began trying to get a publisher for my book…It wasn’t until 2010 that I got a book deal…Yes, seven years after I started…But it took all of that time to show me the book needed to include other women and not just me…When I became a Christian, I searched bookstores looking for Christian life books written by black women…I found one or two here or there, but I knew there needed to be more…Once I got some Christian living under my belt, I wanted to write one for a black Christian woman who, like me, wanted to know how other black Christian women walked out their faith…What I learned by being rejected over and over again was that I needed more experiences than just mine…My book includes the testimonies of 24 women in ONE book…This is so the book I wanted for myself years ago…God knows best…

7. Taking Seven Years To Get a Book Deal…Yes, I know already wrote that…But I have more to share on this topic…In 2007, my dream publisher (I still walk around with the business card of the acquisitions editor of this company.) at the time was interested in my original memoir, but my book was ultimately rejected because I didn’t have a platform….I.Almost.Died…At least it felt like I was nearing death because I got so close to realizing my dream only to wake up to the cruel reality of life for an unpublished author…But I didn’t let that rejection stop me…I got busy on developing my platform…This blog was birthed as a result of that rejection…This blog has become a way that I connect to others across the nation and the world…a place to dream…a place to vent…an online history…I love it so…And it is one of the reasons that I got a book deal as I met former “The View” co-host Sherri Shepherd, one of the women featured in book, because of this blog…

So what “negative” things are you thankful for today? Happy Thanksgiving 🙂

Any thoughts?

Posted on Wednesday, October 16, 2013

I’m In Love With a Church Girl (GIVEAWAY)

Hello World,

As a pastor’s daughter who was in church every Sunday and every Wednesday and who couldn’t go to parties until I was in college, I looked forward to the day I could break out! I wanted to do whateva I wanted to do with anyone I wanted to do it with…Dating a “bad boy” was at the top of my list! Now that I’m 40 and married and a devoted Christian woman on my own terms, I’ve outgrown my need to be a wild child, but every once in a while, I’m reminded of just how I felt back then…

That’s why when I heard about about this new movie “I’m In Love With a Church Girl” at Blogalicious earlier this month, I was intrigued….Below is a synopsis of the movie from imbd.com.

Miles Montego (Ja Rule) has it all – cars, boats, good looks, mansion, money, women, but more importantly, he has a past. Miles is a retired high level drug trafficker who is now completely legitimate. Even though Miles has turned over a new leaf, the DEA can’t seem to let him out of their sights. Miles’ only downfall is that he is extremely loyal to his circle of friends and former colleagues who are not retired from the lucrative business.

Struggling to keep on the right side of the law, Miles meets the one girl of his dreams but she’s not the usual type of girl that he’s used to dating. Vanessa (Adrienne Bailon) is a church girl in every sense of the word. They are tested to their last ounce of faith and strength in God and each other. God continues to chip away at Miles through struggles from his past, having to live up to his reputation, feelings of unworthiness, the death of his mother, federal charges, his friends being indicted, the strain on his relationship with Vanessa, almost losing her in a near fatal car accident, and finally the spiritual breakdown and one on one with God that brings Miles to his knees.

Sounds intriguing, right? Well, Adrienne Bailon, who stars as Vanessa stopped by Blogalicious to promote the movie and tell all of the bloggers about herself. As someone who has interviewed hundreds of people at this point in my journalism career and has not been impressed with some Hollywood types, I was really impressed with her fun and unaffected personality…

Here are a few quotes from her interview with Stacey Ferguson, Blogalicious co-founder –

On being confused with being one of the Kardashians – “I’m not a Kardashian. I’m from New York. My mom works at Cornell Medical. My mom is from Puerto Rico, and my dad is from Ecuador.”
On being a ‘church girl’ – “I grew up in church singing. I was saved, sanctified and filled with the Holy Ghost… My father was the worship leader.”
On being discovered – “I thought I wanted to be an obstetrician so I had an internship at Beth Israel. This guy came up to me one day and said, ‘Yo ma, you sing?’ I sang ‘His Eye is on the Sparrow.’ He told me about an audition for a girl group. That was in April, and by August, I had a record deal with Tommy Mottola for 3LW. After that was the Cheetah Girls. It was very random.”
On being a star – “When you come from not having much, I feel so grateful. I’m not special, but I’ve been given special opportunities.”
On being grounded – “I have an incredible family. I don’t have a mom that is my manager. She works in the pharmacy department at Cornell, and she still says sometimes, ‘You know we have great [medical] packages!”
On being a Sunday School graduate – “I learned in Sunday School that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. [Romans 8:28]”
On her ‘Church Girl’ co-star rapper Ja Rule who plays Miles – “I known Ja for years. 3LW was the opening act for Ja Rule. People don’t know that Ja Rule has been married for 12 years, and he has three children. He is married to his high school sweetheart!”
On her role as Vanessa in ‘Church Girl’ – “Vanessa goes against stereotypes of being a Christian. I wore my own clothes. Jesus didn’t say we couldn’t be fly! I love that she was sassy, she was witty, she was fun. She is Christlike. She is non-judgmental, and she shows unconditional love. It’s a great love story…It is a movie with a message of hope and faith. It shows that your past does not determine your future.”
On sending Hollywood a message – “As a consumer, you dictate what is in the box office. We can send a message to Hollywood that we want more faith-based movies. And this movie can compete with mainstream movies. Your cousins Chachi and Hosea didn’t come with their camcorder to film this movie.” LOL!!! Love it!

The movie (which also stars T-Bone, Stephen Baldwin, Toby Mac, Michael Madsen, Vincent Pastore and Martin Kove) comes out THIS FRIDAY, Oct. 18! Below is a trailer from the movie….

Also, I received a ‘Church Girl’ t-shirt and a copy of the novel “I’m in Love With a Church Girl” by Ryan Phillips with Galley Molina, writer and executive producer of the film. Actually, the film is based on the life of Galley Molina…If you would like to receive the t-shirt and the novel, name three famous church girls, whether fictional or real, who have fallen in love with bad boys! If you are first to tell me in the comments, I will mail the items to you! You’re welcome!

Any thoughts?

Posted on Sunday, October 28, 2012

Why Did You Allow This to Happen, God? A church tragedy unfolds…

Hello World,

By now, many of you know about the tragedy that occurred at World Changers Church International in College Park, Georgia last Wednesday? If you have not heard of it, let me fill you in. As Greg McDowell, 39, was leading a prayer service Wednesday morning, Floyd Palmer, 59, a former World Changers employee allegedly walked into the church and shot McDowell six times, according to the AJC. McDowell, a husband and father of two toddlers, died shortly thereafter.

Later on Wednesday, Palmer, who apparently has shot a man before and spent time in a mental institution, was arrested and will likely be punished for his alleged actions. Still, whatever satisfaction McDowell’s family may feel as the alleged shooter is now in police custody, it does not answer the question, “Why Did You Allow This to Happen, God?”

The day following the shooting, I overheard some people at work discussing the shooting and they pondered why God would allow a man to be shot and killed as he was praying inside of a church no less. And it does seem ironic that a man who was obviously demonstrating his dependence on the Omniscient Power of the universe was not made aware of pending tragedy and spared from harm…

I’m not even going to lie. I don’t understand. I won’t even pretend that I do. But I do think that God will comfort McDowell’s wife and children and extended family in the days to come and give them insight as they seek His guidance and care. As one pastor said at a memorial service I recently attended, we won’t always understand everything that happens which is the essence of faith, but God will see us through everything that happens. My all-time favorite writer Catherine Marshall’s husband Pastor Peter Marshall, 46, died after suffering a heart attack when she was 34 years old, and she too pondered why God would allow this happen to them? She wrote about seeking God for answers to this tragedy in one of my favorite books “To Live Again.” She writes about feeling duped by God, being angry with God and questioning her faith altogether…She got all sorts of answers that can be read about in the book, but ultimately, she claimed this verse, my absolute favorite verse in the entire Bible, for herself and her nine-year-old son as they faced life without her husband…

And we know that in all things (good and bad) God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Why do think God allows tragedies to occur in the lives of Christians? This song seems appropriate this morning…