Category Archives: Celebrities

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I’m a Negro, He’s a Negro, Wouldn’t You Like to be a Negro too?

Hello World!!!

With all of the focus on the word “negro” this year from the 2010 Census to Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid’s description of President Obama as a “‘light-skinned’ African American with ‘no Negro dialect’ unless he wanted to have one,” I have started thinking about how black people refer to themselves. And how you choose to refer to yourself in spite of or because of how others refer to you.

Tiger Woods has famously referred to himself as “Cablinasian.” I wonder if he is now retreating in Cablinasia while all of this media fervor continues….We have had so many names in country… in no particular order, negroid, colored, Afro American and now African American…Radio host Glenn Beck has a problem with the term African American…Since my heritage is Jamaican and I was born in Kansas, I sometimes call myself a Jamerican…Since I’m a single black woman, some may think of me as doomed — let ABC ‘s “Nightline” tell it…

Above my race, heritage, and marital status, I refer to myself as a Christian…And as a Christian, I like to reflect on how Jesus, rather than the world, sees me…

Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 17:8

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Romans 8:37

I am black but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, Like the tents of Kedar, Like the curtains of Solomon. Song of Solomon 1:5 (If I were the writer of this verse, I would say black and lovely…) Song of Solomon 1:5

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

As I have said before, I am no theologian. So if you know of some more verses, please comment and let me know what they are…

Any thoughts?

P.S. I love dreadlocks…to me, there is nothing to be dreaded about them….

Me...aside from the obligatory pimple or pimples I seem to always sport these days, I love this pic of me...fearfully and wonderfully made, yes indeed!

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Christmas Just Ain’t Christmas Without the One You Love…

Hello World!!!

On the day after tomorrow, Christmas, once again, will be here…Although it is the busiest time of the year, it is still the most wonderful time of the year…In spite of all of the commercialism, for those of us who know the Lord Jesus Christ, it is a time to remember Emmanuel which means “God with us.” This is the time that Christians remember that God so loved the world that He sent us His son who was born as a baby. That baby, Jesus Christ, was born to die for our sins. And now because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we have fellowship with the Father. God is with us.  For the Christmas story in detail, please read Luke 2.

But what are we to do when the ones we love are not with us on Christmas?

This month, I have known of two people who died…A friend of mine died without warning a couple of weeks ago…I was stunned because we communicated via e-mail just days before she died…In her e-mail, she was telling me how she was planning to prepare for Christmas and now she is gone…It’s amazing that someone with so much life and influence could literally be here today and gone tomorrow…Another friend of mine lost a loved one a week or so ago too…I hope it is comforting for these families to know that our loved ones are now with the Father…but aside from all of that ethereal knowledge, I’m reasonably sure that it just plain sucks to not have them right there with them…

I have tried to offer comforting words to those I know who have lost loved ones this month, but I imagine there is nothing I can say that will truly comfort them…But what I can do is cherish my loved ones as I now realize they may not be here next Christmas…I was talking with my mom last night on the telephone, and she was kind of getting on my nerves as she often does…but as I type these words, I’m glad that I have her, my father, my brothers and a host of other family members and friends…

If you are anything like me, it is easy to focus on what you don’t have at this time of the year…but I am finding out if we are not thankful for what we have, what we have may just be taken away from us…In fact, I recently had to sit down and write a gratitude list just to remind myself of my blessings…

It’s funny sometimes the things we think we do for other people are really for us…This is what I mean…I teach fitness classes at a gym…The truth is that much of the time I would rather be curled up sleeping in my warm bed rather than working out…but because I teach fitness, I have to work out…I began this blog as a way to minister to others, but mostly I have ministered to myself….

Anyway, I digress…if you have your loved ones around you at Christmas, consider yourself blessed…And pray for the families who have lost loved ones…especially at this time of the year…

Any thoughts?

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Blame It On Me aka Anatomy of a Breakup…

Hello World!!!

It’s still my birthday month! Yeah, my b-day was Labor Day this year, Sept. 7, and I’m still accepting gifts LOL 🙂 . 

But that is not the reason for this post….If you’ve read my blog over this past year (yes, it was ago Sept. 2 that I created this blog with the help of my friend Tess Gadwa), you know that one of my favorite topics to wax creatively on is relationships. But as I’ve known since the ninth grade, sometimes you just want out or sometimes someone else makes that decision for you. Yes, that’s right I’m talking about breaking up…It’s hard to do sometimes, but it’s a fact of life without question. I remember the first time I broke up or rather was forced to break up with someone. (As I write this, I wonder if I have shared this story before as I’ve been blogging for a year now.)

As a ninth grader, Imani, who was a grade ahead of me, was my first official boyfriend. He was great. He was smart and cute – a chocolate drop with wavy hair. And his wardrobe was the business. He used to wear the fresh jogging suits with the matching sneaks. And wonder of wonders, he liked me. He walked me to my classes. He bought me stuffed animals. He wrote love letters to me. He called me almost every night. (Now that I’m well into my ’30s – 36 no less 🙁 , I realize how unique he truly was…) I couldn’t date yet, but he was diggin’ me anyway for nearly three months until almost suddenly he wasn’t…And I was crushed…I couldn’t figure out how someone who was obviously into me just wasn’t anymore…aaah, such is life, such is life.

We had a fairly civil breakup in that we talked about it and then went on our way. That was very mature of us at the time…but sometimes the breakup is anything but mature…I admit I’ve been guilty of the immature breakup. In college, I, to my friends’ delight, coined the term the “slow diss.” Sometimes, I just didn’t have the courage to tell a guy I wasn’t into him anymore. So I slowly disengaged myself – getting off of the phone very quickly, not calling back, not accepting invitations for dates and on and on – until the relationship died by slow starvation…sad but true….Sounds mean, huh? But trust and believe, what goes around comes around and it has certainly been done to me…On one of my favorite shows (as you know by now) “Sex and the City,” Jack Berger broke up with Carrie by a Post-it!  on which he wrote, “I’m sorry. I can’t. Don’t hate me.” After such a stunt, of course he would be hated.

So what is the best way to breakup? Is it best to meet and discuss things face to face or does a simple or not so simple phone conversation suffice? Didn’t some athlete in New York recently break up with his fiancee by text…now, that’s bout it…and mean…And once the relationship is kaput, what’s the best way to get over somebody? I remember my best friend in the eighth grade told me the best way to get over a guy is to think of all the things you don’t like about him any ole way. Wise for her young age at the time for sure! That principle still works! A friend in college told me the best way to get over one guy is to get another aka the rebound dude. That can work too — although in my ’30s, I became fond of taking six-month breaks after dating a guy.

A friend of mine a few years ago gave me an invaluable article that I have often used to navigate my way through a breakup. “The Four Stages of Grief aka How Much Longer Until I Feel Good Again” is the best the article I’ve read on breaking up and getting over it! But another one of my favorite ways to get over a dude is listen to breakup songs. If it hasn’t been done before, somebody needs to make an album of the best breakup songs. Well, below is my soundtrack for breakups.

  1. “Blame It On Me” by Chrisette Michele – this has got to be the most popular breakup song this year…This young girl has obviously known heartbreak…it oozes out in this song…
  2. “Let It Flow” by Toni Braxton – once I started playing this song in college, I knew it was a wrap…I was done with you and you’d better be on your way…
  3. “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt – as much as I love to talk, sometimes there are no words we need to say except that “it is over…”
  4. “Hit the Road Jack” by Ray Charles – “Margie” in the movie Ray sang that song with all of the venom that a breakup sometimes involves…
  5. “Not Gon’ Cry” by Mary J. Blige – I’m glad that Mary is doing “Just Fine” nowadays, but she know she can tear up a breakup song…I was your lover and your secretary, and you still did me wrong…
  6. “Irreplaceable” by Beyonce – Trust, you ain’t the only one where that came from…
  7. “It Ain’t Me Babe” by Joaquin Phoenix & Reese Witherspoon – I know these actors recorded this song for the movie “Walk the Line” about Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash, but they put their foot in this song. It is a classic “it’s not you, it’s me” breakup song…And it ain’t nothin’ like a country song to get you through…
  8. “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor – I’ma be alright…I WILL SURVIVE!
  9. “Show Me Love” by Robin S. – Who is this chick? I don’t know, but whenever I hear this song, my arms immediately move over my head…I’m tired of giving my love and getting nowhwere…sang it girl!
  10. “Call Tyrone” by Erykah Badu – This song really works when you’ve been dealing with a dude that is straight trife…Man, get outta my face…you ain never bought me nothin’ no way…

So what songs are on your breakup soundtrack?  How do you get over someone? What’s the worst way you’ve ever broken up with someone? Has it come back to haunt you?

Any thoughts?