Posted on Sunday, November 24, 2013

Three The White Way – Why Three of the Black Male Actors in ‘The Best Man Holiday’ Married White Women…

Hello World,

The ’90s were the golden age of black cinema…Let me hit you with just a few — “House Party” (1990) “Boyz in the Hood” (1991), “New Jack City” (1991), “Juice” (1992), “Menace to Society” (1993),”Jason’s Lyric” (1993) “Friday” (1995), “Above the Rim” (1995), “Waiting to Exhale” (1995), “Love Jones” (1997) and “The Best Man” in 1999…Although during the ’90s, I was a poor high school and college student and later a brand new journalist, a considerable portion of my non-existent budget was spent seeing these pop culture classics…

I think that’s why so many of us who came of age in this golden age of black cinema bombarded the box office last weekend, making “The Best Man Holiday,” the sequel to “The Best Man” rank second during its opening weekend, earning just over $30 million to the surprise of Hollywood…When we met Harper, Jordan, Lance, Julian, Quentin, Robin, Mia, Shelby and Candy in 1999, many of us where right where they were…We were recent college graduates and newly minted professionals…Many of us were getting married or watching our boys and girls from college days become other people’s husbands and wives…I identified the most with Jordan…I was more excited about nurturing a career than nurturing relationships and was often shocked when I watched my male buddies that I once had in abundance get married…

So when I started hearing the rumblings about a sequel to “The Best Man” a couple of years ago, I knew I would be among the first seeing just what happened to these beloved characters over the years…And my high expectations were exceeded! Dare I say “The Best Man Holiday” was better than the original! And like, that never happens! Can you name any other sequel that was better than the original?! I can’t. At least right now. Let me know if I’m wrong. These characters became even more rich with time, wisdom, hilarity and — tragedy. As in real life, when you are young, you live in a bubble in which life makes sense and your parents are always there to nurse your boo boos. After you’ve been an adult for a while, you realize that life, while beautiful, is less than sensible and some hurts never truly heal…I won’t spoil the movie because I still want others to see it…But I now consider it a classic…A definite must-see…

However, in spite of this movie’s brilliance, there have been unfortunate efforts to diminish this movie’s shine…And I just don’t get it…but I will write about it…We’ve all heard about USA Today and it’s “race-themed” commentary on the movie’s success..Also, the next day after I saw the movie last Saturday, I saw a Facebook post by one of my friends in which he noted that three of the four lead actors in the movie have been or are married to white women…As if to say, that the black on black love that we saw in the movie was just movie magic, hardly a depiction of real life…Okay, so you know what I’m talking about – Taye Diggs, who plays Harper, is married to Idina Menzel, who is white. Harold Perrineau who plays Julian, is married to Brittany Perrineau, who is white. Terrance Howard, who plays Quentin, has been married to white women…So what, I say?!! I didn’t watch a movie about Taye Diggs, Harold Perrineau and Terrance Howard! I’m watched a movie about Harper, Julian and Quentin….And yes, in real life, some black men marry white women, but I will not fall for the okey doke and not speak well of the movie because some of its actors didn’t marry women that look like me…And furthermore, there is nothing wrong with interracial relationships…So they married outside of the black race, but they didn’t marry outside of the human race!!!

And now let me address the Taye Diggs issue…Over the years, I have read that Taye Diggs has an issue with black women…I don’t know if this is true or not as I’ve never spoken to the man, but I am aware of the rumor…And yesterday, I read an article someone posted on Facebook about how Taye Diggs was happy to get back to his white wife after being with all of those black women on the set of “The Best Man Holiday.” And now, I’ve seen Facebook posts in which people declared they will no longer support Taye Diggs nor the movie. Maybe it’s because I’m a journalist that I know that first you have to consider the source…I have seen no mention of this statement from any reputable news outlet. Secondly, seeing a movie is not a sweeping endorsement of the every single life choice or belief of every actor in a movie. Thirdly, while I am no conspiracy theorist, I do believe there are forces at work that try to tear down legitimate successes…just who released this supposed story about Taye Diggs and why? Just something to ponder…

If you want to see a great movie with multidimensional characters that manage to touch every emotion on the spectrum, see “The Best Man Holiday.” And for those who want to get into Black Power arguments, have several seats (at the movies) at “12 Years a Slave,” which is the proper forum for this kind of conversation…

In sum, support.black.cinema.

Any thoughts?

P.S. Just a snippet of the fine black men in the movie…

Posted on Tuesday, October 1, 2013

10 Tips on How to Have a Wedding for 200 people for LESS than $12,000…

Hello World,

Prior to Robert asking me to marry him in December 2012, I really had given very little thought to wedding planning. Yes, I read Cinderella as a child and even watched the weddings of Princess Di and Kate and William on television, but I never dreamed of my own wedding day…I always wanted to be married, but when I thought of my future, I dreamed about a fabulous career as an author/journalist…

But I digress…In February of this year, it finally dawned on me that if I wanted to have a wedding, I should probably start planning one…Once I started researching, I was shocked to discover that the average cost of a wedding is a whopping $25,656, according to costofwedding.com…I’m all for having the wedding of your dreams, but I’m not down with debt, and we determined that we would NOT be paying for wedding expenses after our wedding day…But with the help of God, my parents, LOTS of Internet research, and creativity, Robert and I were able to plan our wedding for 200 people for $11, 756. 41 not including our honeymoon costs…So because I read so many blogs that helped me to plan our wedding, I decided to give back and break down how we were able to have a fabulous wedding on a reasonable budget…

1. First of all, I took a workshop entitled “Say Yes to Less! Wedding Cost Savings Strategies” presented by Sasha J Events LLC at the Riverdale Town Centre in which I learned a lot about cutting down the costs of wedding planning…This class really jump-started my wedding planning. I recommend taking this workshop if you’re in the metro Atlanta area…If not, please try to find a similar class or workshop where you live…

2. While I was at Riverdale Town Centre (a very lovely facility), I discovered they rent several of their rooms for weddings and wedding receptions. And let me tell you, the reception typically comprises the largest chunk of the budget…I literally booked a room that seated 250 people that day! And one of the ways that you can cut costs is to book a room at a city community center rather than book a hotel banquet room where you end up paying for the overhead…

If you book a room at the Riverdale Town Centre, you are encouraged to select one of their preferred caterers or pay a higher fee…I selected Greedy Palates Gourmet Catering Company. I highly recommend Chef Assata and her team!!! The food was reasonably priced and “scrumdillyicious” :)We also rented our silverware and table linens from her!
Aside from the food that you serve to your guests, you must also serve cake! A friend of mine is a chef and bakes cakes on the side! We were able to get a pretty wedding cake plus lots of cupcakes to serve our guests for a fraction of the cost of typical wedding cakes…(Another one of my cost cutting tips is to hire your friends and associates if you can work together…My chef friend said she didn’t know that I was so bossy 🙂 )
Also, we opted not to serve alcohol because of the cost of alcohol and hiring security personnel which is required at Riverdale Town Centre as well as the amount of preachers that would be there…LOL (My father and three uncles are preachers sooo…)Including the cost of sparkling apple cider that we bought ourselves and renting linens, we spent $5113.62 for the reception!

3. So what is a wedding without a breathtaking wedding dress? Well, if you want breathtaking, you have to be ready to spend that moolah baby! Again, I was stunned that wedding dresses cost so much…I was able to find my wedding dress in the clearance section of Anya Bridal Warehouse! With tax, my dress cost $538.92…The alterations cost over half of the amount of the total dress at $386.10! This is the only dress that I tried on because I loved it so much…

And because I am a discount diva, I bought my wedding shoes online from David’s Bridal for $18.13 including shipping and handling, and I bought my veil from Bride Beautiful for $64.19.
Ashley Means from M.A.C. at Southlake Mall did an excellent job on my makeup…One of my bridesmaids Latoicha Givens of Luxe Tips did all of the bridesmaids’ makeup!
The total cost of my wedding attire including makeup, gown preservation, garter belt, wedding day robe, etc. was $1492.86.

4. Of course, aside from wearing a beautiful dress, you must have a beautiful atmosphere to complete a beautiful wedding day…I learned in the workshop that using fake instead of real flowers is a major cost cutter…I was able to find a wonderful florist/decorator Honour Rowe with H.Y.R. Designs who was able to beautifully decorate our church and the reception room for a reasonable price…I originally encountered her at a bridal show at the Riverdale Town Centre…And that is another cost cutting tip, vendors will often cut their prices if you meet them at a bridal show…

5. If you’re anything like me, you look forward to dancing at the reception more than anything! I booked Sight and Sound Entertainment for my dj services as well as videography…And that is another way to save…Combine those services! (Also, at the last minute, they agreed to create the slides for our slide show for a reasonable cost 🙂 )And because I met Richard Lundy at the same bridal show I mentioned above, I was able to get a deal!

6. You know what they say, a picture is worth a 1000 words…and to my dismay, I discovered that wedding pictures can cost several thousands of dollars…Although the wedding matrix will have you almost willing to spend a home down payment on wedding photos, I kept believing that I could secure a quality photographer for a reasonable price…And I did…Thanks to Doug Smith Photography, we were able to secure a creative engagement session in Piedmont Park and awesome wedding photographs for a reasonable price…Also, with the help of one of my sorors, I was able to find a reasonable company for our photo booth at our wedding! I highly recommend Take That Media 1!

7. Another way to save money is to get help from your family! My mother, my shero, bought mini-cake boxes which had our names and the wedding date engraved on them. She enlisted friends of hers to make Jamaican rum cake. Her team sliced all of the cake and placed them in the mini-cake boxes to give out to her guests. And the best part is that my mom as well as her team paid for all of this! Winning!!!

8. I have never really been into cars, but I discovered in my wedding planning that using your paid-for 2001 Honda Accord as your wedding vehicle just won’t do…But a friend suggested a way to cut down on costs for renting a fancy vehicle for the Big Day…Rather than renting a limo that typically costs about $300 and up just for a few hours, we opted to rent a Mercedes van (I cannot remember the actual model) which seated me and all the bridesmaids for $176.69 from the luxury vehicle section at Hertz. We got the van for the entire day! Also, we asked one of Robert’s friends to drive the van for us…Incidentally, he works part-time for a limo company so it all worked out!

9. Although I planned most of the details, by July, I was pooped and realized that I needed the help of a planner to make sure that everything came together…We hired Park Place Parties and Catering which helped me to find jewelry for my bridesmaids, add a few personalized touches to our tables, coordinate contact with all of the vendors, and direct the wedding ceremony and reception – all for a reasonable price…

10. And chile, I used Vistaprint for my wedding invitations, programs and thank you cards! I spent $294.42 (I originally invited 250 people) for my wedding invitations, $142.48 for programs and $120.88 thank you cards. I must admit they weren’t the most ornate invitations, programs, and thank you cards I’ve ever seen, but they did the job…And to save more money on stamps and stationary, we asked our guests to either RSVP online or call me so that we did not have to include RSVP cards and stamped return envelopes…

I must say as much as I complained about spending all of this money, by the time we finished planning our wedding, I realized that it was actually a lot of fun in spite of worrying about RSVPs, wedding day play lists and endless details…In fact, I am still reading articles on the Internet and books about weddings…

If you’re a fan of celebrity pop culture like I am AND weddings, you’ve got to check out “Weddings/365: A day-by-day selection of memorable celebrity weddings” by Harvey Solomon! Did you know that the wedding of Liza Minnelli and David Gest in March 2002 cost a whopping $3.5 million?! The wedding of Paul McCartney and Heather Mills cost $3 million! One of the ways that celebs cut the costs of their weddings is to sell their wedding photos…Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher got $3 million for their wedding photos from “People” magazine…What do these three couples have in common? Hmm…More proof that a lavish wedding doesn’t exactly equal long-time wedded bliss…

Any thoughts?

Posted on Sunday, September 8, 2013

To everything there is a season…Cherishing my 40th Birthday…

Hello World,

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is Ecclesiastes 3 in which we are reminded that time is not arbitrary, there is a season for everything in God’s world…And now is my time to turn 40 years old…I thank God that He allowed me to reach this milestone in my life…I don’t like the idea of aging but such is life…aging is a blessing especially when you consider the alternative…

As I reflected about my life on my birthday (which was actually Sept. 7), I realized that some of my birthdays in years past were bittersweet…I was always grateful that God allowed me to live another year, but I was confused about why some of my oldest dreams had not come true…I remember when I wrote one of my most introspective posts “Hope. Wish.. Pray…” at the end of 2008, the year that I start my dear blog…Below is an excerpt…

For today, I have decided to hope, wish & pray that my dreams will come true…According to the Word, you are to “delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 When I first read this verse years ago, I thought it meant that God will give you whatever you want if you serve Him. I know that’s not true now.

Now I believe that if you come to know the Lord in an intimate way, He will guide you to your true desires – that is He will give you the desires He has for you. He will guide you to your God-given destiny. So over the years, God has shown me what are my false desires and what are my true desires.(I no longer desire to date a man from every continent, ha,ha, for instance.) Anyway, two dreams or two desires remain…at least for today. Well, that’s not true. I have more than two dreams, but I am thinking of two in particular…(What dreams do you think I am referring to? Guess?)

I had two dreams that I desperately longed for but did not reveal in that post…I wanted to meet and get married to the man God kept for me, and I wanted to be a published author…And it seemed for a long, long, long time, no matter what I did those two dreams eluded me…I literally chased them and every time I thought I was getting closer, all of a sudden it felt all of my chasing was for naught…But I now know that I was on time all along, it just wasn’t my season…And FINALLY, God saw fit to bless me with the right man, and He blessed me to become a published author…So this is a new season in my life…I don’t know what awaits me, and I’m still hoping, wishing and praying for the best…I’m thinking about new dreams too…