To everything there is a season…Cherishing my 40th Birthday…

Hello World,

brideOne of my favorite passages in the Bible is Ecclesiastes 3 in which we are reminded that time is not arbitrary, there is a season for everything in God’s world…And now is my time to turn 40 years old…I thank God that He allowed me to reach this milestone in my life…I don’t like the idea of aging but such is life…aging is a blessing especially when you consider the alternative…

As I reflected about my life on my birthday (which was actually Sept. 7), I realized that some of my birthdays in years past were bittersweet…I was always grateful that God allowed me to live another year, but I was confused about why some of my oldest dreams had not come true…I remember when I wrote one of my most introspective posts “Hope. Wish.. Pray…” at the end of 2008, the year that I start my dear blog…Below is an excerpt…

For today, I have decided to hope, wish & pray that my dreams will come true…According to the Word, you are to “delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 When I first read this verse years ago, I thought it meant that God will give you whatever you want if you serve Him. I know that’s not true now.

Now I believe that if you come to know the Lord in an intimate way, He will guide you to your true desires – that is He will give you the desires He has for you. He will guide you to your God-given destiny. So over the years, God has shown me what are my false desires and what are my true desires.(I no longer desire to date a man from every continent, ha,ha, for instance.)  Anyway, two dreams or two desires remain…at least for today. Well, that’s not true. I have more than two dreams, but I am thinking of two in particular…(What dreams do you think I am referring to? Guess?)

I had two dreams that I desperately longed for but did not reveal in that post…I wanted to DSC_2854meet and get married to the man God kept for me, and I wanted to be a published author…And it seemed for a long, long, long time, no matter what I did those two dreams eluded me…I literally chased them and every time I thought I was getting closer, all of a sudden it felt all of my chasing was for naught…But I now know that I was on time all along, it just wasn’t my season…And FINALLY, God saw fit to bless me with the right man, and He blessed me to become a published author…So this is a new season in my life…I don’t know what awaits me, and I’m still hoping, wishing and praying for the best…I’m thinking about new dreams too…

Happy Birthday to Me 🙂

Any thoughts?

P.S. Since I moving on up in age, I decided to post Curtis Mayfield’s “Move On Up.” This captures how I’m feeling….

ReShonda Tate Billingsley’s ‘Let the Church Say Amen’ Premieres at MegaFest 2013!!!

Hello World,

ReShonda Tate Billingsley, Regina King, Hosea Sanchez & Brely Evans

ReShonda Tate Billingsley, Regina King, Hosea Sanchez & Brely Evans at the premiere…

Bishop T.D. Jakes’ MegaFest 2013 in Dallas is making headlines from Tyler Perry laying hands on the bishop AND donating $1 million to help build a youth center to mega artists Jennifer Hudson, Erica Campbell, Joe and more performing at the Women of Purpose concert!

Aside from these fantastic events, it was also the premiere of “Let the Church Say Amen,” a movie based on the best-selling novel by ReShonda Tate Billingsley, which was featured as a part of the First Annual International Faith & Family Film Festival at MegaFest 2013 ! As a fellow author, I am truly inspired by ReShonda’s success, and I wanted to highlight her achievement here. Below is a summary of the movie.

The audience watching "Let the Church Say Amen."

The audience watching “Let the Church Say Amen.”

Twenty-one-year-old Rachel Jackson (Naturi Naughton) is a wayward preacher’s kid who is struggling to pull her life together. With a six-year-old son out of wedlock and a high school diploma, Rachel’s mission in life is to marry her son’s father in order to forge a traditional and respectable family and regain her father’s respect.

LET THE CHURCH SAY AMEN is a powerful journey through one family’s trials and tribulations and a remarkable story of reconciliation and love. This two-hour movie of the week will be a BET Premiere Cinema event starring Steve Harris, Naturi Naughton, Lela Rochon, Hosea Sanchez and Collins Curtis Pennie. The film is Executive produced by Reina King and co-produced by Queen Latifah, Shakim Compere, Shelby Stone, Roger Bobb and Regina King who is also making her directorial debut. LET THE CHURCH SAY AMEN is a BET Networks, Royal Ties and Flavor Unit Production.

Below is my interview with ReShonda! Check it out!

1. As a fellow author, when you wrote your book “Let the Church Say Amen,” did you ever dream that it could be made into a movie? When I first start writing, I don’t do it with a movie in mind, but of course, like many authors, I dream for all of them to be on the big screen. It just doesn’t play a role in my writing process.

2. And for my fellow authors and dreamers out there, how did this movie come to be? By being nice. I know that sounds like a cliché but I bought a book for a woman who didn’t have enough money for a book. She gave it to her sister who worked for an airport bookstore. One day, Juanita Bynum was in that store and the sister convinced Rev. Bynum to buy my book. Long story short, she did, loved it and got in touch with me to ask my permission to take it to Hollywood. The journey to where I am today was a long one, as we’ve had several delays over the years, funding issues, and normal “movie delays.” But Regina King, who was set to direct the movie and her sister/business partner Reina King, believed in the project and kept fighting for it. Eventually, they partnered with Queen Latifah’s Flava Unit and got a deal with BET, who was getting into original programming. They bought four of my other novels, including “Everybody Say Amen,” “Say Amen, Again,”and “I Know I’ve Been Changed.”

3. How is the movie different from your book or did the movie match what happened in your book? As with all novels that are made into movies, you will see a condensed version of my novel. Many people don’t know this, but they take a 300-400 page novel and shrink it to about 90 pages, so a lot of things have to go. Although there are a few key changes, they definitely captured the essence of the book.

4. What has been the most surprising experience you’ve had as you watched your words being turned into a movie? The most surprising experience I would have to say is that they let me be a part of it from beginning to end. When production companies buy your novel, you sign the contract and receive your check, which is normally where the communications stop. It is rare that they let an author be involved, so I am extremely blessed to be involved behind the scenes, and on camera. Yes, I also have a small part in the movie…yes, a speaking part. But perhaps the best feeling was watching the crowd reaction at the recent screening of the movie. I had seen the movie, but watching it with a crowd, that loved it, made me feel …. Full.

5. I know you probably can’t pick favorites, but what actor in the movie is your favorite and why? And if you don’t want to answer that, how have the actors brought your story to life in a way that you haven’t thought about before? What was it like to work with Regina King? Oh, my God, I can’t. For real, because they were all phenomenal. I couldn’t have asked for a better cast! Each actor brings their own flavor to make their character come to life. And to see the passion and commitment they brought to the roles meant the world. It’s like each person chosen was meant for that role. Casting director Robbie Reed did an AMAZING job. And Regina, I simply love her. Both her and her sister. They made sure that I was not only included, but happy with the direction of the story and the characters. I was a fan of Regina before. But just based on her on-screen work. Now, it’s how she is off-screen that has made me a fan for life.

6. How was your film chosen to be screened at MegaFest, and is this the first time the film has been shown to an audience? What did you think? What did the audience think? It was chosen to be screened at MegaFest because of T.D. Jake’s relationship with BET. BET believes in this project and worked with him to make it the official television entry at the festival. This was the first time it was shown to an audience. Seeing it for the first time on the big screen was priceless. I’ve never been so excited and proud. (I only wished my mom could have been sitting in the audience watching.) The audience, which was a seating capacity of 800 people, was full and we had to turn away hundreds of people. They loved it. They laughed, cried and gave a standing ovation when it was over. It was the highlight of my literary career. (That, and winning the NAACP Image Award in 2012)

7. What’s next for the movie? And also, besides this current movie, which book would you like to see made into a movie next and why? I don’t have an actual release date yet. They’re still working out the details because there is the possibility that it could go to the big screen (say a prayer, y’all). Once I know, I’ll make sure all my readers know as well. As I said earlier, I would love to see all my books made into a movie. But honestly, if I had to pick, my top three would be “The Secret She Kept,” “Holy Rollers,” and “I Know I’ve Been Changed.”

Also, please share anything else you would readers to know! I would like to thank all my readers for their continued support and I urge them to follow me on facebook at reshondatatebillingsley and on Twitter at Reshondat so we can keep them updated on the movie.

Any thoughts?

Another Wedding Planning Post…7 Lessons I Have Learned So Far…(AKA For Colored Brides Who Have Considered Suicide Or a Justice of the Peace When Wedding Planning Became Too Much)

Hello World,

Wedding planning is going to be the death of me…Well, I hope not…But I feel like that sometimes…So far I have only written two posts about wedding planning since R. and I got engaged in December 2012…

One of the pics from our engagement photos...It captures how I have felt for the most part as I have been wedding planning...I'm wearing our wedding colors fuchsia and orange...

One of the pics from our engagement photos…It captures how I have felt for the most part as I have been wedding planning…I’m wearing our wedding colors fuchsia and orange…

“The Wedding Industry Heist aka maybe I should I go in the wedding planning business”

and

“Planning & Stressing…”

I think I have demonstrated incredible restraint in only writing two posts because trust me I could written a lot more posts on wedding planning based on just my topsy-turvy emotions alone…I have cried…I have stayed up all night wedding planning energized by excitement not by coffee…I have cursed people to the depths of hell and lifted them up in prayer..It’s quite funny actually, but I’m not laughing…Hopefully, I will be able to laugh when it’s all over…On the other hand, as a writer, I’m a lifelong student of life, and I have learned so very much which I hope will provide inspiration for future blog posts, essays and maybe even books…

This morning as I wrote this post,  I am perturbed about yet another issue which I am not at liberty to expound upon right now, but trust I will tell more later…however, for current and future brides, here are a few lessons I have learned thus far…And I still have about a couple of weeks to go, so pray for me if I happen to cross your mind…So here goes…

1. Revel in your wedding planning and don’t let anyone (even your non-planning fiance’) steal your wedding planning joy…I know that many women began wedding planning when they were little girls after reading Cinderella and similar fairy tales. I was not one of them…After reading Cinderella and other childhood stories, I began wondering how I could weave together such wonderful stories so I dreamed about being an author and journalist…(And God allowed those dreams to come true…THANK YOU GOD) So I came to this process completely unaware of any latent desires about a wedding…In fact, when I had thought about my wedding day in years past, I pictured a simple ceremony on some faraway beach with just a few people…no fuss and no muss…But as I started planning, I realized that I wanted to have a big ole party in the city that helped raise me…I love Atlanta, and I wanted it to be a big part of the Big Day…Also, I realized that I wanted to be a real bride and look like one…expensive dress and all…I think my fiance’ is surprised about how much time and energy I have devoted to wedding planning…In some ways, it has felt like when I was planning for my book release…I guess I just love projects and this has become one…

2. Have a budget…Now I know I just said revel in wedding planning and talked about my expensive wedding dress and having a big ole party…but I have had a budget since the beginning and have been meticulous in sticking to my budget and keeping track of every penny spent…I just don’t get people who think it’s okay to owe for a wedding after the wedding date has passed…I recommend planning according to the funds you have available so that means you have to prioritize…For instance, my wedding shoes cost less than $20 with shipping and handling…I reasoned that no one will be able to see my shoes anyway because my wedding dress which cost almost a grand (including the price of alterations) will cover them…Now for some people a $1,000 wedding dress is not a big deal, but I for me, it was a whopper..In fact, when the lady at the bridal store told me how my dress cost, I started crying…I’m not kidding…I had to rush out of the store I was so embarrassed…On the other hand, you have to realize that in some cases, you get what you pay for…I bought a $10 wedding veil, and I realized after receiving it the mail that it just wouldn’t do…

3. Internet Surf…God bless the creators of the Internet…It has been an invaluable source of information as I have dreamed about our wedding day…You can pilfer ideas from brides from everywhere…I have been inspired by and learned from what I have seen on Black Bridal Bliss, the Just Engaged and Bridal Bliss sections of Essence.com, and The Bride’s Cafe just to name a few…I have read forums about everything from shady vendors to wedding ring comparisons on The Knot and Wedding Wire…I wonder what brides did before these online resources…

4. RESEARCH, RESEARCH & MORE RESEARCH…Before you hire vendors please research them online…start with the Better Business Bureau, then check out the various wedding forums, hit their Facebook and Twitter accounts and then just a regular ole Google search…Read reviews (I plan on reviewing all of our vendors after the wedding)…trust your intuition but back it up with good old-fashioned recommendations…We work too hard for our money to give it  away to unscrupulous people who want to capitalize on our sometimes unstable emotional state as brides…

5. Life is too short to work with someone you don’t like or who doesn’t like you…I learned this lesson in a home-buying seminar years ago as I prepared to buy my home…In this world, you will inevitably not like someone and vice versa…There may be nothing wrong with that person just like there is nothing wrong with you…Don’t beat yourself up about it…If you find yourself bending over backward to be nice to someone and that person continues to act irritated with you despite your efforts to be nice, just move on…(the same principle can be applied in dating too)…Even if that person is a good business person so what, there are too many others out there to work with…work with someone that you like that likes you back…I’m not saying it has to be a love fest, but you will have to be in close contact with various vendors over the course of several months so being comfortable with your vendors is absolutely necessary…

6. Remember to include your fiance’…This lesson should be a no brainer, but I have forgotten sometimes…My fiance’ is pretty busy right now…He is trying to launch a new career and is in school and he is working as well so that has left a lot of time to be alone with my thoughts…So sometimes I have forgotten to ask his opinion about various things…and as it turns out, he does have some opinions about some aspects of the wedding although he is a manly type of dude and doesn’t get into the frou frou stuff…He has had strong opinions about the wedding guests, who is allowed to sing at the ceremony and how vendors treat us…We walked out the first tux store we went to because he felt that they took too long to acknowledge our presence…

7. None of this means nothing if you are not planning your marriage too…The first thing I did as I started planning our wedding was researching counselors, ministers, pastors, etc. for premarital counseling…I think it’s ludicrous to plan a wedding, which lasts for one day, and not plan for the days afterward which could drag on forever in a bad way if you failed to plan…If you fail to plan, you plan to fail as they say…Also, I have started reading “Wedding Cake for Breakfast: Essays on the Unforgettable First Year of Marriage” edited by Kim Perel and Wendy Sherman…I have heard the first year is what you have to go through to actually being married happily ever after so I want to be ready…

I have learned more lessons as well but these lessons, I think, are most critical to grasp…Also, I ran across this video yesterday…This young woman’s father is suffering from pancreatic cancer…Although she is not a bride yet and is not even dating anyone, she fantasized about her wedding dance with her father and decided to create that experience in case years from now, her father is not there…I’m a pretty emotional person anyway, but I think even the most stoic will shed a tear after watching this…To read the full story, go to ABC News.

Any thoughts?