Hello World,

Yesterday, I celebrated my second Valentine’s Day as a married woman. I can’t front. It was wonderful and peaceful. I got up early yesterday morning as I usually do and headed downstairs to get ready to go the gym and what was waiting for me on our living room table? The telltale robin egg blue box from Tiffany & Co. I slid down on my knees to get to the box and opened it to see the beautiful necklace to the right in addition to a basket of smell-goods and a heartfelt card that made me feel all gooey and grateful inside…After I squealed and ran upstairs to wake up my hubby and thank him, I shared this on Facebook…

A wonderful, handsome Christian husband is gift enough but a gift from Tiffany’s is nice too. I’m so cheap I’ve never even been inside the store and now I have my second piece from there. Makes up for all of the v-days I was into noncommittal dudes. Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone!!! ‪#‎testimony‬

It’s true…For most of my Valentine’s Days, I was the girl hoping, wishing and praying that I was the one that could change him and make him commit…I don’t profess to be a relationship expert by trade, but if experience is the best teacher, chile I got a Ph.D….If there is anything I know how to do is spot a noncommittal man…Even though I technically don’t need this skill anymore since I’m married,  I still want to have it to help my single sisters in the struggle..(and the truth of the matter is I will always feel like a single girl…at least in some ways…) So below are my 7 Ways to Spot a Noncommittal Man…

1.Look in the mirror…If you have dated at least three men that you wanted to commit to you but they managed to get away no matter what you did or didn’t do, said or or didn’t say, wore or didn’t wear and on and on, you have to recognize that you probably don’t want to commit or else you wouldn’t like these type of men …Yes, it’s that deep…Now once you have that realization, there is more work to do although I won’t share that here today as its not the point of today’s post…

2. Believe what he tells you…If a man tells you up front that he just wants to hang out, kick it, chill etc. because he recently got out of a relationship or whatever the reason, please thank God in heaven because that’s all you need to know…Please do not believe you are the woman that will make him change his mind…It took me a long time to realize that I’m just not that special…Yes, I know you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Praise God), but Boo Boo, every man is not meant to be the one for you…that’s why it’s the one…If he tells you that, it’s on to the next one…

3. You don’t know his friends…If you have been dating a man for at least six months and you haven’t met nary one of his boys, that’s because your “relationship” is a secret…LOL…When you meet a man’s friends, you’re meeting an extension of him, and a noncommittal man aine’ trying to do all that…

4. You don’t know his mama…If you are dating a man for at least a year, and you haven’t met his mama or anyone else in his family, chances are you never will…A man that wants to commit to you has no problems bringing you to the family cookout or to the family church that his family has been attending for generations…

5. If he is 40 years old and over and has never been married and has no kids…I know a man who is over 4o years old and has no ex-wives or baby mamas looks like a catch, but if he has gotten to that stage in life and those milestones haven’t happened, it is because he has orchestrated his life in such a way to avoid them…I wonder why…Hmmm….No need to figure it out, just keep it movin’.

6. If you don’t see him very much…I’m a person who relishes being busy (probably to my detriment, but that’s another post) and when I was single, I was extra busy…And with all of my busyness, I assumed that whoever I was dating was like me…busy…so I made excuses if I didn’t see the man I wanted to see every weekend…but when someone really wants to see you, I don’t care what he has going on, he will make time for you…

7. If his primary mode of communicating with you is texting…I don’t know what noncommittal men did before texting but noncommittal men love to text…They don’t even have to hear your voice to ask you out…How insulting is that? If a man can’t even commit to hearing your voice, then obviously he can’t commit to you…

By no means is this list exhaustive, but this is my experience…do with it what you will…

And the quicker you get noncommittal men out of your life, the higher your chances of meeting a man who will celebrate next year’s Valentine’s Day with you 🙂

Any thoughts?

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