Why I Don’t Have a Huge Problem With the ‘Sexist’ Sermon By the Missouri Pastor Who Tells Wives to Look ‘Pretty’ & Lose Weight…

Hello World,

Pastor Stewart-Allen Clark of First General Baptist Church in Malden, Missouri has been all over the Internet for a sermon he delivered last month in which he addressed a variety of ways that wives can remain attractive to their husbands! His sermon has caused so much controversy that apparently he is on leave from his church!

I’m not sure that I saw the entire sermon, but from what I saw, Pastor Clark begins by complimenting former First Lady Melania Trump. “Now look, I’m not saying every woman can be the epic — the epic – trophy wife of all time like Melania Trump. I’m not saying that at all. Most women can’t be trophy wives, but you know … maybe you’re a participation trophy.” As he said this, a photo of Melania Trump appeared on the screen behind him as he spoke. Politics aside, I do believe that she is attractive. He went on to say that men are “visual” and that many wives let themselves go. I agree that men are visual. Statistically speaking, I don’t know that many wives let themselves go, but I’ve heard it joked about by many comedians that they do… He went to say, “You should take great pains to look like the woman he fell in love with.” So far, I don’t see anything controversial about that. We all age, but aging is not synonymous with being unattractive.

And my mother told me that my grandmother told her at one point, after not seeing her for a while, that she should take better care of herself as a married woman. She advised my mother to step it up in terms of her looks and not take my father’s attraction for granted. My mother said she began scheduling more regular hair appointments after that conversation. My mother told me this years before I got married, but I definitely remember that conversation as a married woman. And truth be told, I like to be attractive for my husband, but I like being attractive for me even more. I stay tryin’ to “preserve the sexy” for my own sake.

The next topic, the most controversial one, he brings up is weight control. Now I must say, as he was speaking, I could not help but take notice of his protruding belly that was neither camouflaged nor slimmed down by his black shirt.  He mentioned that his wife managed to lose at least 30 pounds after each of the three children that she had. He said he even went to a Weight Watchers meeting with her, and then he said that his wife said, “Food never tastes as good as skinny feels.” Now when he said this, I thought for sure he would say something about his weight at that time but he didn’t. Weight is a personal matter, but for the sake of our health, we all know that we have to manage our weight. I believe that men are attracted to women of varied sizes, but if our weight is impacting our health or even our happiness, it needs to be addressed. And that is true for men as well. His biggest mistake when it comes to this topic is that while he was addressing the wives, he should have made a point of addressing his weight. He mentioned 1 Corinthians 7:4 which addresses that the bodies of a married couple belong to each other so it would have made sense to discuss himself just a bit since the sermon was geared to wives.

He also talks about the importance of wearing makeup, attractive hairstyles, age-appropriate flattering clothing, sexual intimacy and allowing husbands to be their wives’ “knight in shining armor.” None of his advice took me by surprise because I’ve either heard it from other people before. Yes, there were some biting jokes that were included, but sometimes people are too easily offended.

I would say more, but I don’t have the time. Check out the sermon for yourself here…

And I will also say this: I hope there was a female pastor or speaker who addressed husbands because husbands can do various things to remain attractive, externally and internally, to their wives as well….

Any thoughts?

 

 

The Top 10 Blog Posts and or Magazine Articles for Black Christian Women in January 2021…

Hello World,

I’m back with my monthly roundup of blog posts and or magazine articles for black Christian women in Black History Month no less! Below is my Top 10 monthly roundup of blog posts and or magazine/newspaper articles for black Christian women for January, but you don’t have be a black Christian woman to to check them out. As usual, let me know if you like my list! Enjoy and share!

1. “Kamala Harris’ Husband Doug Emhoff puts her Career First as Second Gentleman, Breaking Gender Stereotypes” by Jessica Guynn & Charisse Jones

Excerpt: Emhoff and Harris met on a blind date in 2013 after being set up by a friend and married the following year. Harris became “Momala” to his two adult children, Cole and Ella from his first marriage. So what will the country’s first-ever second gentleman focus on during his time in Washington? “Everyone’s got an opinion on this, which is nice to hear,” Emhoff said during a September fundraiser. “Which means people are actually excited about the prospect of someone like me in this role – and I get that.” See more at: usatoday.com.

2. “Amanda Gorman Will be the First Poet to Ever Perform During a Super Bowl” by Salvador Hernandez

Excerpt: Amanda Gorman, the young poet who grabbed the national spotlight at President Joe Biden’s inauguration with her inspirational and powerful reading, will recite more of her work at Super Bowl LV.According to an NFL list of past performances during Super Bowl half-time and pre-game shows, she will be the first poet ever to perform at the event, which is one of the most watched broadcasts in television. See more at: buzzfeednews.com.

3. “Inaugural Poet Amanda Gorman Signs With IMG Models” by Chris Gardner

Excerpt: The 22-year-old Los Angeles native, who recited her original work “The Hill We Climb” on Jan. 20 and instantly became the breakout star of the inauguration ceremony as the world looked on, now has a team of reps that includes Writers House, WME and the law firm Gang, Tyre, Ramer, Brown and Passman. As Gorman’s partner in the fashion and beauty industries, IMG Models will focus on building her profile through brand endorsements and editorial opportunities. See more at: hollywoodreporter.com.

4. “New CEO on Return of Ebony, JET: ‘I Want my People Back’” by DeMicia Inman

Excerpt: “This is personal for me,” said Michele Ghee who has been hired to relaunch a new era for the Black legacy magazines. Former NBA player and entrepreneur Ulysses “Junior” Bridgeman purchased Ebony and Jet magazine last month and is ready to bring the publications into a new era. Now, Michele Ghee has been tapped as CEO to work with the Bridgeman family and in a new interview, she detailed her desire to get to work. See more at news.yahoo.com.

5. “Walgreens Taps Starbucks Operating Chief Roz Brewer as its Next CEO” by Amelia Lucas, Melissa Repko, Marc Gilbert & Christina Cheddar Berk

Excerpt: Starbucks Chief Operating Officer Rosalind Brewer will replace Stefano Pessina as CEO of Walgreens Boots Alliance, the drugstore chain confirmed in a statement Tuesday evening. Starbucks had announced Brewer’s departure earlier in the day, saying she is leaving at the end of February for a CEO position at an undisclosed publicly traded company. As CEO of Walgreens, Brewer will be the only Black woman leading a Fortune 500 company. See more at: cnbc.com.

6. “Biden Moving Forward With Placing Harriet Tubman on the $20 Bill” by Shannon Pettypiece

Excerpt: President Joe Biden will move forward with a plan announced five years ago and stalled by the Trump administration to place abolitionist Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill. “The Treasury Department is taking steps to resume efforts to put Harriet Tubman on the front of the new $20 notes,” said White House press secretary Jen Psaki. She said it is important that the country’s money “reflect the history and diversity of our country, and Harriet Tubman’s image gracing the new $20 note would certainly reflect that.” See more at: nbcnews.com.

7. “Celebrate MLK Day by Honoring the Women who Worked Alongside Dr. King” by Victoria Uwumarogie

Excerpt: Dorothy Cotton: A leader of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, Dorothy Cotton got her start in activism after joining a church in Virginia and working alongside Wyatt T. Walker, who was then the regional head of the NAACP and would go on to be the chief of staff for Dr. King. Cotton rose to prominence after training young people to picket for the civil rights movement. After Dr. King spoke at her church and met Cotton, he encouraged her to move to Atlanta to help form the SCLC. Her biggest contribution would be the Citizen Education Program, where she help thousands of Black men and women learn the requirements for voter registration, and help them get over efforts to suppress the Black vote. This was possible by teaching reading and writing to help people pass literacy tests. A collaborator of Dr. King’s, she was with him in Norway when he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964. See more at madamenoire.com

8. “Woman Celebrates 105 Years of Life, Reflects on Marching with MLK” by Ashley Gooden

Excerpt: “Well I wanted to be right. Just right, like Martin Luther King was. Yeah, he was a real Christian man,” she says. Being right has gotten her this far. “We just couldn’t let 105 years go by and not do anything. Really it just turned out to be way more than we’d ever expected,” says Robin Dial, Strait’s granddaughter. She loves having visitors, but also loves having her independence. Her secret to 105: serving God and serving others. “Today it’s paying off. People is so nice to me. I don’t mean just this day, everyday. They good to me,” she says with a smile. See more at: wpde.com.

9. “Janice Johnston Becomes the First Black Woman Executive Producer for ABC’s ’20/20′” by Shanique Yates

Excerpt: ABC’s “20/20” just named Janice Johnston as its newest executive producer making her the first Black woman to hold the title, reports The Root. No stranger to the network, Johnston got her start as a network associate, producing segments for “World News Now” and “World News Tonight with Peter Jennings.” She also served as supervising producer of “Good Morning America” for a decade. See more at: afrotech.com.

10. “Taiwo Agbona, the 23-year-old Medical Laboratory Scientist Ruling in Nigeria” by Theodora Aidoo

Excerpt: Agbona was born in the royal family, headed by her father, Oba J.B Agbona, Orimoro 11th, the late king of Aaye. She is the first daughter of the king. The death of her father has had a lasting mark on the fate of the young princess, who probably never imagined she’ll ever be a ruler. “The chiefs consulted the oracle and told me that I was the chosen one and that I was worthy to be enthroned”, she told BBC. The 23-year-old student said she requested the chiefs to give her three weeks to decide to be the regent.She said for as long as she sits on the throne, she is forbidden to get pregnant or marry. However, she enjoys ruling her people. See more at: face2faceafrica.com.

If you know of any black Christian women bloggers and or writers, please e-mail me at jacqueline@afterthealtarcall.com as I’m always interested in expanding my community of black Christian women blog, magazines and websites. As I noted before, while this is a roundup of interesting blog posts and or magazine and newspaper articles for black Christian women, you don’t have to be one to appreciate these pieces  🙂.

Any thoughts?

Three Gifts Guaranteed to Give You Christmas Cheer…Even During the Coronavirus Crisis!!!

Hello World,

Hello World,

I’ve said this before, but I will say it again: Christmas is supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year!” So if your eyes aren’t twinkling like they are Christmas lights, if jingle bells aren’t attached to your ankles or if you are not burping up eggnog, you obviously don’t possess that sometimes elusive Christmas cheer…

I know that “Jesus is the reason for the season,” but can I be honest? Sometimes even knowing that isn’t enough to dredge up that Christmas cheer that everyone is supposed to be cloaked in like an expensive heavy coat that you only wear on special occasions…especially during the coronavirus crisis when you also have to wear a mask “everywhere you go.” (To the tune of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas.”)

Still despite the manufactured Christmas cheer that retailers will lead you to believe can only be bought, I have discovered there are three gifts, not 12, not enough for your whole family or all your network, simply three that will stoke the furnace of genuine Christmas cheer within you…

I don’t know if it is the example of the three Wise Men or because God is the Father, the Son & the Holy Spirit or at the suggestion of my favorite author Catherine Marshall, but in my 20s, I decided that in addition to the gifts I would give to my friends and family, I would also give three gifts to Jesus…

Now, how does one go about giving gifts to Jesus? Although I feel His presence with me, I have never seen nor touched Him physically…So how was I supposed to do that? I was led to these three verses below as I came up with a way to give three gifts to Jesus…

 In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” Acts 20:35

The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:30

But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Matthew 6:3-4

So what do these three verses mean?

1. I was give without expectation of receiving anything back.

2. I was to give to people and or organizations that served “the least of these.”

3. I was to give in secret and not tell a soul.

I have never revealed what I have done before, but since I am writing a post about this, let me share some of the gifts I have given over the years as a testimony to how God has blessed me with authentic Christmas cheer as a result….

There was once a homeless man that I saw every day as I walked from one location to another in downtown Atlanta…All of the store owners on the street were kind to him, and I could see why…He was kind and mannerly and even funny sometimes…I don’t why he was homeless, but he seemed content to live on the street…I thought that since he seemed like he wanted to be on the street, I could at least help keep him warm…I tried to figure out what what size pants the man wore and bought him a pair of jeans (he always had on jeans) and a blanket…When I handed him the wrapped up gift, he seemed not to know what I was handing to him until I explained it was a Christmas gift…Then he smiled…That simple smile made me glow on the inside…

Another year, I decided to volunteer one Saturday at My Sister’s House at the Atlanta Mission…I helped hand out supplies to the women and children who were staying at the shelter…At that particular time in my life, I pretty much hated my job and the fact that I was too poor to move out of my parents’ house…But spending just one Saturday at the shelter showed how much I had to be grateful for…My mom has always told me if you want to feel better, forget about yourself…

And finally another one of my secret three gifts was the doll I gave to a Christmas toy drive one year…although I am not a girly girl, I have always LOVED dolls…I wanted a new doll every  Christmas for years and years…in fact, I used to worry that as a fifth grader, someone at school would find out I still played with dolls and I would be teased…So one year I decided to give the prettiest, most girly, luxurious hair-having doll I could find and afford to a toy drive…I don’t know what girl was the recipient of that doll, but if I have learned anything about God, I know that “every good and perfect gift” comes from Him…I’m sure that the girl who received that doll was the very girl that wished for and deserved that gift…

Although the Christmas countdown has begun,  there is more than enough time to give (and get) Christmas cheer…

Any thoughts?