Posted on Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Why Wait? Historic Ebenezer Baptist Church Pastor Marries on Valentine’s Day After NYE Proposal (VIDEO)!

Hello World,

Rev. Dr. Raphael Warnock, senior pastor of Atlanta’s Historic Ebenezer Baptist Church, the “spiritual home of The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.” already created headlines when he proposed to Miss Ouleye Ndoye at the end of Watch Night Service at the church last month! Well, Rev. Dr. Warnock capitalized on another romantic occasion, marrying the former Miss Ndoye during a Valentine Day’s wedding ceremony at the church last Sunday!

So I watched the video of the ceremony which came in at about 1 hour and 37 minutes. The wedding colors seem to be shades of lavender, purple and white as all of the flowers and decorations were in those colors. The wedding started off with a solo of Sweet Sweet Spirit which set the tone of the wedding. Also, there was a beautiful flute solo and a heartfelt solo rendition of Steve Wonder’s Ribbon in the Sky. The music lasts for nearly 40 minutes as the mothers walk in together about the 38:09 mark of the video. I counted 10 bridesmaids and 9 groomsmen along with a ring bearer and two flower girls.

Flanked by her parents and with a soloist singing Maurette Brown Clark’s The One He Kept For Me, Miss Ndoye walks down the aisle about the 47:00 mark. The wedding ceremony included readings from Genesis 2, you know the “God made a woman from the rib” from man and “one flesh” chapter, and a reading from 1 Corinthians 13, the Love Chapter. What I found most unique about the ceremony were the thorough and beautiful vows, which start at about 1:06:16. They covered EVERYTHING. As a pastor’s daughter, I’ve been to countless weddings so I know what I’m talking about…Here they are below…

O: I know that love must be kept alive by active concern, and I pledge that in loving you, I will continue to court you in many and in new ways.

R: I promise to keep our love vibrant, to discover new ways of loving you and to make our love continue to grow in new riches.

O: I will continue to be your special friend, accepting and sensitive to your needs.

R: I will continue to be the companion who is always by your side, understanding and sharing in your laughter and tears.

O: I will continue to respect your opinions and feelings in all the ways you relate them to me, and I will freely share mine with you.

R: I will continue to be honest with you, not holding back what I feel, and I will continue to be open to hearing and responding to your feelings.

O: I know that sickness is often a real part of life, and I will meet these hardships with strength and courage.

R: I recognize that death and misfortune are untimely parts of life, and I will not let these events overshadow and take away from our life now nor will I turn from the burdens they may place upon me.

O: As individuals, we need the freedom to become ourselves, and I will live with you in a way that will allow you to reach your highest potential.

R: I promise to respect the individuality of yourself and will continue to work towards the development of mine so that each of us may live life to the fullest and yet I will be close enough to continue to share in your life and to share mine with you.

Together: You will be secure in my promise to you this day that during all the years of our life together, I will be ever mindful of the things we found important from our earliest encounter to this present moment. I am committed to grow and to let our marriage grow. So be it, and so it is. Amen.

See what I mean? Following their vows, famed gospel singer Byron Cage sang “To God Be the Glory.” Following his performance, the Rev. Dr. Lawrence Carter Sr., who was the celebrant, welcomed the couple to the “the halls of highest human happiness,” a phrase I first learned about after reading a “A Man Called Peter: The Story of Peter Marshall,” by my deceased spiritual writing mentor Catherine Marshall. Rev. Dr. Carter also introduced the couple as the 5th First Family of Ebenezer Baptist Church…

So what do you think of their very short engagement? The Warnocks went from proposal to wedding at a swift speed, particularly as it has been reported by the AJC that the two actually were actually first married at a private ceremony at Danforth Chapel on Morehouse College’s campus last month! The two are graduates of Morehouse and Spelman College and “many Morehouse men and Spelman College women have married there.” “According to TheKnot.com and WeddingChannel.com’s Real Weddings Study, the average length of an engagement is 13.8 months. And 7% of people surveyed said they were engaged for more than two years,” which is from the CNN article “Standing Engagement — Are Committed Couples Waiting Longer to Tie the Knot?”

My hubby and I got engaged in December 2012 and married the following August so we were engaged for eight months. I think longer engagements give couples more time to plan a wedding, but a wedding doesn’t have to take a long time to plan in my opinion. Actually, we didn’t start planning our wedding until February 2013 so it came together in an intense six months. Celebrity couple DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good-Franklin got engaged in March 2012 and were married by June. Earlier this month, the two released their book The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love about their entire 13-month celibate courtship.

The Warnocks speedy proposal and wedding reminds me of a line from one of my favorite movies “When Harry Met Sally.” Harry and Sally were friends for a long time before they were lovers, and Sally realized first they could really spend their life together. Of course, their friendship breaks down when Harry doesn’t immediately return Sally’s feelings. However, on New Year’s Eve, Harry, who is spending the evening alone, suddenly realizes he is in love with Sally too. Instead of telling Sally the next day, he barges into a New Year Eve’s party where Sally is partying alone and tells her exactly how he feels. It Had to Be You by Frank Sinatra is playing the background…Below are his words…

I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

The video of the entire the wedding is below. Congratulations to the Warnocks!!!

Any thoughts?

Posted on Sunday, February 14, 2016

Discovering Atlanta Through the Eyes of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s Driver Tom Houck…

(me and my hubby & Tom Houck and another tour goer)

Hello World,

Last week my husband Robert and I were thinking about what we could do to celebrate the sixth anniversary of our first date yesterday. As I was listening to 1380AM WAOK on the way home from work on Wednesday, I realized I had a fun and educational option. Derrick Boazman host of “Too Much Truth” was interviewing Tom Houck whom I had never heard of before. Tom, a white man, was the driver of Dr. King and his family for several months. In a gruff, hearty voice likely emboldened because of the precious history he possesses, Tom described how being kicked out of high school in Jacksonville, Florida for merely participating in a Selma march in 1965 eventually led to being in the inner sanctum of the very leader of the Civil Rights Movement as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s driver.

In 1966, Tom’s civil rights activism brought him to Atlanta to work for the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC). In one of those fortuitous moments that forever changes someone’s life, Dr. King saw Tom across the street from the SCLC where he had gone to make a call on the pay phone and invited the 19-year-old to have lunch with him and his family. That lunch led to him being asked to drive for the King Family. Tom describes his experiences as their driver as a part of his Civil Rights Tour, a bus tour in which Tom takes people to see the historic sites in Atlanta that provided the landscape of the capital of the Civil Rights Movement.

At the end of the conversation, Tom offered two tickets to the first person who e-mailed him the answer to this question: What was Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s real first name. I was literally pulling into my driveway when I heard him ask the question. I parked, unlocked my front door and ran to my computer, hurriedly e-mailing him the answer: Michael. For the first five years of Dr. King’s life, his name was Michael. However, when his father Michael King Sr. changed his name to Martin Luther King Sr. after becoming inspired by Martin Luther, his son, who was Michael King Jr., became Martin Luther King Jr. I nearly fell off of my bed when I received an e-mail later that evening from Tom letting me know that I had won the tickets! I told my husband we could celebrate our history as a couple by celebrating the history of our beloved city. He agreed that it would be a great way to celebrate our first date anniversary!

Tom Houck beginning his tour…

My hubby focusing on Tom…

Dr. King’s first home is in the Old Fourth Ward area of Atlanta which was once known as Shermantown after General Sherman took over the area during the Civil War. The home is on Auburn Avenue known as Sweet Auburn, but I didn’t know that Auburn Avenue was once Wheat Street. However, the name of the street was later changed because Wheat Street was thought to be too rural of a name for a metropolitan street. Yes, Sweet Wheat doesn’t sound as cool for sure! But that explains the name of the historical Wheat Street Baptist Church on Auburn Avenue. Wheat Street Baptist Church was the site of the church scenes filmed in the movie “Selma,” Tom told us.

In the beginning of the tour, we went by Dr. King’s elementary school Howard Elementary School. The school building, which is vacant, later became a high school which has notable graduates including Maynard Jackson, Atlanta’s first black mayor; Walt Frazier and Vernon Jordan. Tom also took us to the SNCC Freedom House. Freedom Houses were designated places where civil rights workers could retreat and reside.

The site of the pay phone where Tom met Dr. King…

Tom met Dr. King across the street of the SCLC headquarters, which I took a picture of from the bus…Not the best picture, but you get the idea hopefully…

Morris Brown College, the only HBCU founded by black people, was organized in the basement of Big Bethel AME Church, which is located in the Sweet Auburn district…Civil rights leader Hosea Williams and Derrick Bozeman are Morris Brown College graduates…

See that blue sign? It is the sign for the original site of the Atlanta Daily World, the oldest black newspaper in the city…It was once a Republican newspaper as blacks were mostly Republican years ago since most segregationists were Democrats…

A Loss Prevention Hero series mural honoring Congressman John Lewis…

The second The Loss Prevention Hero series mural honoring Mrs. Evelyn Gibson Lowery, the deceased wife of Rev. Joseph Lowery. Mrs. Lowery founded SCLC/Women’s Organizational Movement for Equality Now, Inc.

Although it wasn’t an official part of the tour, Tom told us that Citizens Trust Bank, which was founded by black businessman Heman Perry, on Auburn Avenue, was where he received his first car loan! AND Daddy King, who was on the bank’s board of directors, co-signed the loan!!!

Before we left the Sweet Auburn district, we learned about John Wesley Dobbs, a rail clerk who was unofficially named the mayor of Sweet Auburn because of his work to achieve equality for black people…Seemingly in homage to Dobbs, Atlanta’s public schools were integrated on the day of this death, August 30, 1961, Tom told us…Above is a statue honoring Dobbs, who is the grandfather of Maynard Jackson…All of his six daughters graduated from Spelman College. They are reported to be the largest group of sisters to graduate from the school…Incidentally, I interviewed Dr. June Dobbs Butts, the youngest of the sisters and a sex therapist, for an UPSCALE magazine article I wrote years ago…

We rode by the now defunct Terminal Station, which was once a prominent train station in the city. Atlanta was once named Terminus which I originally learned after watching “The Walking Dead,” which is back tonight!!! Yay!!! And before Terminus, Atlanta was known as Marthasville. I cannot see Atlanta residents calling ourselves Termliens or Marthaaliens so I’m glad we changed to Atlanta because ATLlien is so doggone cool…

We passed through the Castleberry Hill District, which was revitalized by Herman J. Russell, a construction magnate…I had the opportunity to meet him just months before he passed away in 2014. He attended the National Book Club Conference while promoting his book Building Atlanta: How I Broke Through Segregation to Launch a Business Empire.”

Tom took us to Dr. King’s last home before he died which is located at 234 Sunset Avenue…

Daryl, a recent graduate of Clark Atlanta University, sang freedom songs as we passed by some of the historical stops…

Along the way, we passed by Washington High School where Dr. King graduated from when he was 15 years old to attend Morehouse College. I did not know that Lena Horne also attended Washington High School!

One of the stops was the home of Alonzo Herndon, who was once Atlanta’s wealthiest black man. Herndon built his fortune on his barbering business. His stately home is across the street from the home of Grace Towns Hamilton, the first black woman elected to the Georgia General Assembly. Unfortunately, her home was barely visible due to the overgrowth of weeds as well as the overall decay of the structure…We also passed through the Atlanta University Center and by the original Paschal’s Restaurant location as well as Busy Bee Café.

One of our final stops was South-View Cemetery, which is located on Jonesboro Road and was designed “to provide a respectable place for Christian burials” for all people including black people who were once not allowed to be buried in certain cemetaries. It opened on April 21, 1886. It began as 26 acres and is now over 100 acres. 80,000 people are buried there including Herman J. Russell and the wife of John Lewis, Lillian Miles Lewis. Below are pics of the graves of other important people who are also buried there…

The grave site of John Wesley Dobbs

The grave sites of Daddy King and his wife Alberta King…

If you look at to upper left of the grave marker, you can see this tiny picture of Daddy King….

Dr. King was originally buried in South-View cemetery before his body was moved in 1970 to its current location alongside his wife at the King Center. One the way back to Auburn Avenue where we started the tour, we passed by Atlanta Federal Penitentiary. Tom told us that Marcus Garvey was imprisoned there which is interesting to me as the daughter of Jamaican immigrants.

We learned much more that I wasn’t even able to include in this already lengthy blog post!

And hopefully, you will be inspired to take a Civil Rights Tour with Tom Houck, the driver of Dr. King and his family. For more information, go to civilrightstour.com.

Any thoughts?

Posted on Sunday, February 7, 2016

The Top 10 Blog Posts and or Articles for Black Christian Women in January 2016

Hello World,

It’s hard to believe that 2016 is a month old, and I hope it’s been a great year for you so far. As I’ve done for the past few months, I’ve corralled another list of interesting blog posts and or articles for black Christian women from last month that intrigued me as a black Christian woman ( but you don’t have be a black Christian woman to to check them out:) ! ) As usual, let me know if you like my list! Enjoy and share!

1. “New Pastor Coming to Emanuel AME Seeks to Bring Hope, Unity” by Jennifer Berry Hawes

Excerpt: The Rev. Dr. Betty Deas Clark has been named pastor of Emanuel AME Church, where nine black worshipers were gunned down on June 17 by an avowed white racist. She will be the church’s first female pastor. See more at: postandcourier.com.

2. “How a Facebook Comment Turned into a Nightmare for ‘the Evangelical Harvard’” by Sarah Pulliam Bailey

Excerpt: It’s not the first time Wheaton has wrestled with theology and identity. But the Hawkins case exploded in the thick of a national conversation about the place of Islam, and about race and privilege. Hawkins is one of Wheaton’s five black tenured professors, who make up 2 percent of the faculty, and its only full-time black woman professor. See more at: washingtonpost.com.

3. “How YWCA USA Is Evolving To Better Support Women And People Of Color” by Kathy Caprino

Excerpt: First and foremost, we’ll give the public greater clarity about who we are and what we do. Our mission is squarely focused on eliminating racism and empowering women. The 225 YWCAs around the country serving more than 2 million women and families annually work hand-in-hand with people as they take steps to improve their lives, whether through domestic violence services, housing, childcare, job training, or the many other programs available at local YWCAs. See more at: forbes.com.

4. “Why the Black Church Should Speak Out Against Sexual Predators” by Rev. Dr. Najuma Smith-Pollard

Excerpt: To be silent on Bill Cosby is a missed opportunity to speak to the real people in our pews who have been victims of sexual violence. Here are a few statistics every pastor should know. The national average suggests that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Translation, if you have 50 Women in your church, 16 to 20 of them have had similar acts of sexual assault, rape, happen to them as have been described by the 55 women who have come forward about Bill Cosby. See more at: lasentinel.net.

5. “Awarding Purity & Preserving Patriarchy: Why I Don’t Agree With Scholarships for Virgins” by Erica Nichole

Excerpt: The mayor in Uthukela, South Africa is awarding young women enrolled in schools with scholarships, not for excelling academically, but for remaining virgins during their time in school. Yep, there are scholarships for virgins. While the road and process to being granted a scholarship is competitive in most countries, students with exceptional academics are awarded grants to further support their education. But is it right to encourage higher education to women by solely making virginity the qualifier for the grant? See more at: xonecole.com.

6. “Loving the Stranger in My Bed” by Trillia Newbell

Excerpt: As you live, you change. I’m not the same woman my husband married 12 years ago. I’d like to think in some ways I’ve matured, but even many of my interests have changed. I’ve had children, so my body has definitely changed. Even my temperament has changed as we’ve experienced more trials in our growing together. I’m still me to the core, but I’m also different. Because of the familiarity we feel in marriage, it takes intentional effort to stay close as each person changes. See more at: todayschristianwoman.com.

7. “Single Mom of Six Gets Special Gift from Church” by Jennifer Shaw

Excerpt: Pollard’s luck changed on Jan. 3 when Pastor Chris Williams read her letter aloud to the congregation of Church at Antioch, then announcing that she was the recipient of a donated 2002 burgundy Ford Taurus,also as a way of recognizing the church’s one-year anniversary. See more at: contracostatimes.com.

8. “Harlem ‘Church Ladies’ Get Their Due”

Excerpt: Church Ladies: Untold Stories of Harlem Women in the Powell Era is an oral history based on interviews with 15 black women, members of the historic Abyssinian Baptist Church in Harlem, N.Y. The book is a rare glimpse into the world of women’s leadership in the black church and gives voice to Harlem women and their activism during the tumultuous mid-20th century. See more at: blogs.baruch.cuny.edu.

9. “The Black Church and the Habitus of Resistence: An Ethnographic Study of Religious Practice and Social Change” by Joi R. Orr

Excerpt: In the spring of 2015, I observed a longstanding group of moderate and liberal black clergy members in Atlanta, Georgia, whose mission is to “provide leadership, advocacy and service to the homeless, helpless and hopeless in our community.” Every Monday morning, this coalition hosts a community forum to move their agenda along. With this sustained practice, the coalition prepares and situates itself to participate in direct-action campaigns and to take on issues of mass incarceration, a livable minimum wage, and voter mobilization. See more at: theotherjournal.com.

10. “7 Dead Giveaways You’re Attending A Black Church” by Dontaira Terrell

Excerpt: Leave With A Home-Cooked Meal. It’s a week of built-up anticipation, hoping to get a taste of Ms. Gladys’ mac and cheese. Your prayers have been answered the moment you hear there will be food served in the fellowship hall following the worship service. The menu usually consists of good ol’ soul food, but if you don’t hurry, Sister Patterson’s collard greens and Ms. Gladys’ mac and cheese will definitely be gone! See more at: atlantablackstar.com.

If you know of any black Christian women bloggers and or writers, please e-mail me at jacqueline@afterthealtarcall.com as I’m always interested in expanding my community of black Christian women blogs and websites. As I noted before, while this is a roundup of interesting blog posts and or articles for black Christian women, you don’t have to be one to appreciate these pieces :).

Any thoughts?