I’m proud to say that I have never watched a complete episode of “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” as I cannot stand to watch a family whose family values seem to essentially amount to opulent opportunism. And Kim’s New Age Valley Girl spin of the English language is also grating…And her current hubby Kanye ain’t been right since his mother passed away…At first it was understandable because grief can make you do some crazy things…But since then, he has deemed himself a “creative genius” and a “god” and most annoyingly Beyoncé’s award show fairy godmother…whenever Bey doesn’t win an award he feels she should have won, he magically appears on stage and wreaks havoc…Obviously, he was at her beck and call when he most recently jumped on stage when Beck rather than Bey won the “Album of the Year” Award at this year’s GRAMMYs.
Kimye arrives as the entrance of the beautiful Armenian church. Kim purses her lips ever just so and poses in hopes that the paparazzi will take flattering shots of her. Kanye affixes his I’m-too-cool-to-smile-but-I-hope-you’re-looking look as he walks behind her. After a few minutes of this, flanked and guided by big ole bodyguards and haughty handlers, Kimye and Northwest enter the church.
Kim: (stroking her beautiful raven hair like she is a modern-day Morticia Adams) Oh My Gaaawd (taking the Lord’s name in vain with a New Age Valley Girl Twist. Sacrilegious & Annoying… )Like I’m so annoyed…Kaaanye, we’ve got to stop the paps and those other people from coming in behind us…I only want the cameras for the show in here…I mean when we walk back out, I want them to be there of course, but not right nooow…
Kanye: Baby, your man is a God and this is my domain…As it is in my head, so it shall be done on earth…
Enter Bishop Mikayel Adjapagian who walks up to them and shakes their hands while greeting them…
Bishop Mikayel Adjapagian: Welcome Mr. & Mrs. West, we are honored that you are visiting today –
Kanye: (interrupting the bishop) I’mma let you finish, but we need to have the church doors closed immediately to keep the paps and those other people out of my house…Because I’m a god..
Bishop Mikayel Adjapagian: Your house? This is the house of God. You, sir, are a not a god, and I will not allow worshippers to be prevented from entering His house even for you, Mr. West…Furthermore, who told you you were a God?
Kanye: I just told who I thought I was. A god.
Bishop Mikayel Adjapagian: Excuse me? (At this point, baby Northwest, who has been whimpering all along, begins to wail!)
Kanye: I guess you don’t think Beyonce is the mother of God, either?
And it all falls down from here with Syleena Johnson singing faintly in the background…
Later in an Armenian hotel, Kim recounts what happened with Khloé in her Khloé’s hotel room…
Khloé: Aren’t you used that? With Kanye?
Kim: I guess I should let go, and let God…the real God…
Kanye: (who is able to see what is happening in the next door hotel room because he is a god, shrugs)
Any thoughts? (Note: This is all a figment of my imagination…)
It’s that time of the week again – time for your Mary Mary recap so buckle up and get on my ride 🙂 …I’m not gon lie…This episode made a little sad…It looks like Mary Mary, as we know it, is ovuh or about to be…Last week’s episode ended as Tina got on stage at Shiloh Baptist Church in Harlem on behalf of her sister Erica who was struggling backstage as she was tired and wo down…
This week’s episode’s picks up at Shiloh Baptist Church after Tina gets on stage…
Testimony Aborted…
Although Erica was supposed to be recovering backstage, she was getting worked up listening to Tina share her testimony again for the members of Shiloh Baptist…But before Tina could get too far down the long and winding road of her testimony, Erica walks back on stage while singing basically to shut her sister down mid-testimony…It works, and Mary Mary saaangs, “I cried my last tear yesterdaaaay” to the appreciative applause of the audience…Whew, that was a close call #NoMoreTestimoniesTina…LOL…
Warryn’s Wrath…
After the performance, Erica checks in with her husband Warryn, who is still steaming that Mary Mary booked a show at B.B. King Blues Club & Grill in New York instead of Erica. He reiterates the fact that he spent $40,000 to promote Erica’s solo career in New York so that she could come back and perform at the popular New York venue and get all of the dough instead of Mary Mary. And now he is even more mad because the Mary Mary show at B.B. King’s didn’t even sell out even Erica though tells him the venue was “packed.” Warryn replies, “Packed and sold out are two different things.” Touch your neighbor and say, “Ouch. That hurt.” He concludes that basically something needs to be did about Mary Mary i.e. Tina because both the Mary Mary and Erica brands are being damaged at this point. Plus, Warryn also warns his wife that she needs to “slow down before it all comes crashing down.”
Mary Mary Meet…
After Warryn got on Erica again for the B.B. King performance, Erica decides she needs to meet with her sister and tell her what’s up. So they meet at a restaurant. Basically, Erica doesn’t believe that Tina’s management skills are up to par and blames her for Mary Mary being booked at B.B. King’s even though Erica was the one that booked the date with the agent. But Tina wasn’t trying to hear it. “Mary Mary didn’t take a gig from Erica Campbell. You booked the date.” Tina had a good point. Erica was technically the one to book the date although she only did that because Tina blew the agent off when he called her first. All Erica could say was, “I didn’t know it was such a big deal until after the fact.” Really, both of them are to blame. If Tina wouldn’t have blown off the agent, he wouldn’t have called Erica. And Erica shouldn’t have booked the date without thinking about the ramifications first.
Library of Congress Induction…
Not only are Mary Mary gospel superstars, their music was inducted in Library of Congress in this episode! And although Erica is pursuing her solo career, she couldn’t help but be happy for Mary Mary. “What would Daddy be like right now?” (Their father Eddie A. Atkins Jr. died in 2013.) And Tina feels the same. “Why wasn’t Mom here?” Then Tina actually admits that had she planned appropriately, she would have made sure their mother was there to witness such a momentous occasion in their career. The Library of Congress has almost 22 million items in it and now Mary Mary are among that number!!! But just when Tina is starting to realize that maybe her management skills aren’t what they should be, she makes another HUGE mistake….This time, she tells members of the press at the induction that Mary Mary is working on an album that will drop in 2016…The only problem is that Mary Mary aine even working on an album…You must know that Warryn is going to wreck something or someone over that statement…Stay tuned…I got more…
Tina’s Trippin’…
So although the Library of Congress induction started off as a lovey dovey Mary Mary moment, it set the stage for what came next…Tina booked a Mary Mary gig at The Howard Theatre in D.C. and the sound was jacked…As a manager, this is one of the issues that Tina is supposed to handle but doesn’t…And then after the performance is over, both Tina & Erica are looking forward to leaving our nation’s capital and head back to their families…But slow your roll…They are informed that Mary Mary is supposed to perform at an NAACP’s Concert For a Cause, a concert to support the NAACP’s literacy initiative “NAACP Reads” …but get this… Erica is the only one that signed the contract so technically only Erica has to show up…So Erica begs her sister to perform for her because she is tired…I mean she did almost fall out at the Shiloh Baptist Church performance…But Tina has no sympathy this time. “Sissy Sis ain’t gon help you today. I’m going to see my kids.” Erica calls her a “selfish dog.” And Tina replies, “You don’t sound very gospel and very Christianly.” There Tina goes again, making up words! But at least she aine testifyin’ no more…LOL…
This Woman’s Work….
Erica being the workaholic that she is and the professional artist that she is goes ahead with the NAACP concert while her sister chucks the deuces and rides (flies) out back to L.A. But every decision, good or bad, has its consequences. When she has free a moment, she calls her daughter Krista to speak with her. Krista sounds like she is about to cry and Erica asks her why she is upset. Krista says, “Because you’re always gone.” That’s modern day woman’s work for you – trying to juggle a thriving career and being a wife and mother…Something is bound to fall to the ground at some point…Warryn already told Erica she is doing too much so hopefully Krista’s words will help her slow down…
Since Erica wasn’t able to get Tina to realize that her management skills aren’t the best, Warryn decides that he should meet with his sister-in-law and get her straight…First of all, he gets on her about saying that Mary Mary has an album coming in 2016 at the Library of Congress induction…But Tina being Tina just shrugs his words off saying that all that she has to do is “unsay” what she said and everything will be alright…”Unsay” is not a word, Tina, and there is a reason for that…Once you’ve said something, there is no way to “unsay” it. You can apologize, but the words have still been said. Warryn says, “I need for you to understand that how much weight your words carry.” Uh duh…there is power of life and death in the tongue…He is upset because not only has Tina misled the press, now Sony is going to start pressuring him about a Mary Mary album. But at the end of the meeting, Tina remains unbossed and unbothered…But even though Warryn wasn’t able to wield his influence over Tina, he is finally starting to get through to his wife. Erica is starting to get that she cannot give 100 percent to her solo career and 100 percent to Mary Mary. Warryn says, “Keep doing what you’re doing and you’re going to shorten your career by 10 years.” Also, he called Mary Mary “a plane without a pilot.”
So Team Erica looks like it’s winning in this episode and Team Mary Mary has lost one…
I’m back for my second recap of Mary Mary’s reality show and this episode had more drama than last week’s episode…I don’t know if that’s good or bad, but let me not get ahead of myself…
Last week’s episode ended with Erica deciding to go back to Mary Mary after Tina begged her sister to reunite the gospel duo although Erica’s husband Warryn was hot about her decision…
Meet Tina Campbell, Mary Mary’s manager?
This week’s episode starts in Norfolk, Virginia as the Marys are slated to perform at the Richmond Jazz Festival…As Erica feared in last week’s episode, Tina is already late in getting ready for their performance although Tina claims she has changed since she went through hell and back last year and survived…Despite Tina being late, though, the duo performs their hits such as “Heaven” and “Shackles (Praise You)” without any issues. “The hiatus is over, and the Marys are back,” Tina says to camera after their performance.
In the next scene, Tina is back at home in L.A. with her daughter Laiah who is showing her mother her cheer. A little stiff in her movements, Tina says, “I want you to cheer like you’re from where Mommy is from not the suburbs.” (This is would be a good scene for “Black-ish.”) While her daughter is trying to “put something on it” as Tina suggests, a booking agent calls to ask Tina (because she is supposed to be managing the group, right?) about booking a performance at B.B. King Blues Club & Grill in New York, but she blows him off to put her family time first. Since Tina didn’t respond to him, he calls Erica who manages to converse with him and agrees to the performance although her son is drumming in the background like he is on stage and she is cooking with her daughter in the kitchen. When Warryn finds out that Erica scheduled Mary Mary to perform at B.B. King, he blows up. “You have no idea of the implications of what you just did.” Apparently, he spent $40,000 on promotion in that market so that Erica would be able to perform there and other venues in NYC and now that lucrative opportunity will be split among two instead of given to one…Erica wonders why she is the one planning dates for Mary Mary when Tina is the manager…
Sister to Sister Drama…
Mary Mary head to NYC for their performance and while they are there, they are scheduled to be interviewed by Jamie Foster Brown, publisher of Sister 2 Sister magazine which is a mashup of People magazine/TMZ for the black community. But before she arrives at their hotel room, Goo and Erica are tripping because it was reported on the magazine’s website that Teddy, Tina’s husband, may have fathered a child when he was out and about and Tina doesn’t know about the rumor…They tell Tina what was reported before Jamie arrives, but Tina doesn’t back away from Jamie when Jamie straight ups asks her about the rumor…She said it was false information and says, “That’s why I told my truth in the beginning.” Erica is cringing throughout the whole interview because Tina held back nothing… “Tell some, save some, sister” Erica says to the camera…I agree with Tina’s approach…Say it before somebody else says it..
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You would think that shutting down an outside child rumor would be enough marriage drama for one episode since Tina and Teddy have put the past behind them, but Tina wants to share her testimony again and tell even more than she did the first time…This time Tina gets interviewed by Shaila Scott of 107.5 WBLS in New York…Wearing a t-shirt that states ” I Show My Scars So That Others Know They Can Heal,” designed by one of my blogger boos Rhachelle Nicol, Tina shares again how her husband had a “lot of affairs over a lot of years.” She shares how sometimes she would be under the covers screaming her sister’s song “Help” and how she felt like killing somebody. But she wraps it up by saying her life is completely better a year later and that she is no longer “trapped in a prison of brokeness.”
The Shark Tank…
Also while in NYC, Tina meets with Daymond John, CEO of FUBU and one of the sharks on ABC’s show “The Shark Tank.” He is helping Tina define her brand. When he asks her to define her brand in a few words, she states, “A test that became a testimony.” Ehhh….I’m not a branding expert, but that phrase has been used by so many Christians I don’t know if that phrase is unique enough to set her apart. But Daymond loves it and pledges to help her brand take off…So what I do know?
Remember Erica Campbell, the solo artist?
Seeing that Mary Mary ‘s show at B.B. King’s was sold out, Erica is feeling some type of way about sharing the spotlight with her sister at the venue. She pledges to show out and not waste her husband’s money since she plans to perform as a solo artist at Shiloh Baptist Church in Harlem…The only problem is that she’s tired after performing as Mary Mary…In fact, she’s so tired she is unable to make the sound check before the performance…When Tina comes to Erica’s room to check on her, she criticizes her sister for saying yes to everything and suggests that she manage her sister…Erra, Tina, you were the one that got your sister to come back to Mary Mary and add more to her schedule…Erica obviously agrees with me because she says to the camera, “You want to manage Erica Campbell, but you can’t manage Mary, Mary.”
Although the show starts off well with Erica singing “A Little More Jesus,” Erica needed a lot more Jesus because she almost fell out on stage. In fact, Tina, who was just chilling in the audience in a baseball cap, t-shirt and jeans, had to get on stage while her sister was resting backstage. And wouldn’t you know it? Before Tina starts singing, she shares her testimony yet again. She says, “It was the most challenging time of my life” and that she was mad at God. Meanwhile backstage, Erica is getting mad at her sister for sharing her testimony yet again…Will Mary Mary stay reunited? You know what to do…Watch next week and read my recap…
I Luh God and other Mary Mary news…
I don’t know if Mary Mary will stay reunited by the end of this season’s Mary Mary, but we do know that Erica Campbell is still on her solo grind…Earlier this week, Erica released her new single “I Luh God” on her reissued album “Help 2.0.”…I had to pause and gather my thoughts about this new song…Do I want to bless it or bash it? First of all, “luh” is love in Ebonics I guess…And folks are calling the song trap gospel…I thought folks listened to gospel so they could get out of the trap — not jam in the trap…
The song starts off with “I luh God, You don’t luh God, What’s Wrong Wit U?” Just typing that made my brain hurt…It don’t seem right to go from “How Great Thou Art” to “I Luh God.” The thing is Mary Mary is known for making gospel songs bump…Erebody loves “Shackles (Praise You)” and “God In Me.” They’ve got catchy beats and they are appropriately “crunk for Christ.” But this song right here confounds me almost as much as Beyoncé did when she sang “Precious Lord” at the GRAMMYs. After Erica’s initial verse, some rapper comes in sounding like a male version of Baby D of JJ Fad (remember summa lumma dumma or whatever Baby D said…) speaking in tongues…I think he says, “I lub Him, I lub Him, I lub Him” faster and faster before he stops…
Plus, I always find myself in a conundrum when I hear gospel songs that have “wordly” beats…What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to sing along?… I guess that could work but gospel songs that are too crossover end up sounding corny to me and I can’t participate…And please don’t ask me to dance…When I hear certain beats, I involuntarily arch my back to drop it low…(Hey, no one starts off saved…) but you can’t drop it low to a song about God…Even Erica looks confused while she is singing the song… She wants to dance, but how far can she go…So she settles for doing a half Bankhead Bounce…
I’m still a Mary Mary/Erica & Tina fan, but this ain’t the song that will take me to the altar or turn me up in the club…
On the other hand, I loved her song “Help” and apparently her solo album won her the Artist of the Year Award at the Stellar Awards. And she won other awards as well. The Stellar Awards will be televised on Easter Sunday. Check your local listings and the TheStellarAwards.com for air times.
