In my Sesame Street voice, this post is brought to you by the number 3.
Hello World,
2015 is shaping up to be the worst year ever for three pop culture icons: Bill Cosby, Josh Duggar & Jared Fogle. And we still have four months left in the year…
These three have starred in a trifecta of sex scandals this year. A New York magazine cover photograph earlier this month featured 35 women who accused Bill Cosby of sexually assaulting them over the years. But most damning of all was his own “admission in a newly released court record that he had obtained quaaludes to give young women with whom he wanted to have sex,” according to a New York Times article. And if admitting molesting young girls wasn’t enough, as of a few days ago, “19 Kids and Counting” star Josh Duggar, a married man, has now confirmed he is a cheater too. And he is no run-of-the-mill cheater who met some chick at a T.J. Fridays or Applebee’s. It was confirmed a few days ago that he used the popular Ashley Madison, a website for cheating spouses. And if the scandals that are Bill Cosby and Josh Duggar weren’t enough, Jared Fogle, who became a spokesman for Subway after his inspiring story of losing over 200 pounds by eating the sandwiches, has now been accused of having sex with minors and receiving child porn!
These men are a ménage à trois of messy, a trio of trips, a triplicity of duplicity, a threesome of creeps, a troika of trolls, a triad of tribulations, a trichotomy of tricks, a ternion of vermin, a trilogy of tragedy, essentially an unworthy triumvirate these three…allegedly…
1. Bill Cosby as Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable was once hailed as America’s favorite father, but as of this year, he has been knocked off of his pedestal, proving again the only perfect Father is Father God.
And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Matthew 23:9
2. Let some conservative Republicans tell it, Josh Duggar was the embodiment of the perfect son, but as of this year with 2 sex scandals and counting, the Truth is only one Son is worthy of worship.
Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and when he found him, he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?” “Who is he, sir?” the man asked. “Tell me so that I may believe in him.” Jesus said, “You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you.” Then the man said, “Lord, I believe,” and he worshiped him. John 9:35-38
3. The obese nation that we are, Jared Fogle was an inspiration for countless Americans as he was able to lose 245 pounds and for the most part, keep it off. But the Subway guy in no way compares to the inspiration provided by the Holy Spirit if only we would seek His help.
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
The only perfect One is the triune Godhead, the only perfect Trinity…
Remember the single lady who was dead alone in her London apartment for three years before anyone found her? Her body was so badly decomposed that she could only be identified by her dental records. Amazingly, when she was found, the television was still on…As a single lady, when I heard that story, I understood how such a tragedy could take place…I mean this is an extreme example, but if someone is not close to their parents or other family members and doesn’t speak to their friends every day and or out of work, I can see how someone could be dead and or injured for at least 2 to 3 days alone at home without anyone realizing that person is missing. So dying alone and not having anybody even notice was one of my fears when I was a single lady although my mama called too much to let that happen…
So that was a long introduction to last night’s episode of “Born Again Virgin.” The show was titled “Slaying Your Dragons” and was about the fears that ladies, particularly single ladies, have. The episode begins with Jenna and Tara debating which one of them is brave enough to kill a humongous bug that has landed on the refrigerator. Confession: One of the perks of being married is not having to be on bug duty anymore. Men totally get into being the protector of the home against evil forces including bugs 🙂 Anywho as the women are scared to even get near the bug, Kelly comes into the kitchen and promptly uses a high heel shoe to smash the bug right on the refrigerator!
In the next scene, Jenna is at a coffee shop when she overhears two women discussing one of their favorite bloggers, a woman who is chronicling her journey as a celibate single woman. Obviously, Jenna thinks the women are discussing her until she continues to listen to them and realizes that another blogger actually had the same idea that she had. Finally, Jenna cannot stand the suspense of waiting for them to reveal the identity of the other celibate blogger and crashes their conversation, asking the identity of the celibate blogger. When the women oblige and show her the celibate blogger’s website Chaste & Chill with Chelsea, she is shocked because she realizes that she knows Chelsea and had even discussed the idea of her blog with her when they worked together at a life and style magazine!
Meanwhile, Tara, the actress, is excited about auditioning for a new part as a teenager, particularly a “promiscuous young woman with Daddy issues” hence wearing a blonde wig styled into two ponytails. However, her ego is hurt when she discovers the director actually wants her to portray a mother in the production. That transition from being seen as a carefree, sexy single lady to being thought of as old enough to be someone’s mother when you are not is pretty scary. This realization happened to me when I started watching Empire…Check out my post “Why ‘Empire’ is Causing Me to Have a Midlife Crisis…” if you are interested in the specifics…
Kelly, the pr exec, is elated when she lands a huge account until her boss simultaneously praises and denigrates her! He tells her he is glad she is not married so that she can focus on her career and reveals that one of his fears is that someone will marry her and “put a baby in you” thereby decreasing her commitment to her job. Wow, the struggle is real for a woman who dares to have it all: a successful career, marriage and motherhood. Now, Kelly can no longer focus on her score at her job and instead focuses on the fact she has not scored so to speak in her personal life.
So what do single ladies do when suicide is not option and the “rainbow is enuf?” (My shout out to for colored girls who have considered suicide / when the rainbow is enufby Ntozake Shange) Head to the club of course because as we all know a deejay can save your life (My shout out to the song Last Night a D.J. Saved My Life) Yes, as a woman of a particular age, my pop culture references go back to the ’70s and ’80s…hence my midlife crisis mentioned above…
While at the club, Jenna, who mistakenly took one of Tara’s valium pills instead of an aspirin she intended to take for her headache, is a complete mess. That mess is exacerbated when she runs into Chelsea, her blogger copycat. Instead of confronting Chelsea, who seems to be high on something as well, the women end up dancing together and making out while taking pictures of themselves to post on her social media accounts. During the girl on girl action, Chelsea reveals that she is not actually celibate and her blog is actually a lie. Tara attempts to ignore texts she receives from the production director as he is trying to convince her to take on the role of the mother. Worst of all, Kelly runs into an old boyfriend Andre, whom she broke up with, at the club. And not only does she run into him, he introduces her to his fiancée. Ouch. She attempts to forget about the run-in by dancing with another dude at the club. Her moves are impressive until she runs of the dance floor in tears as she is unable to dance away her heartbreak.
How does it all end? Because the show is only 30 minutes and has to wrap it pretty quickly.
The next day, Jenna discovers she has the video evidence to blow up her blogger copycat’s spot as she videotaped Chelsea’s confession without intending to do so. However, she doesn’t do so because she wants her blog to blow up on its own merit rather than by her tearing down other bloggers. Her fear (yes, back to the premise of this show) is that the risks she has taken in her career opting to be a blogger rather than having a traditional career won’t pay off. Somebody pass the offering plate because church was had in that moment…at least for me…
After shutting down the director’s requests to take the role of mother instead of the daughter, Tara decides to take the role thereby confronting her fear: aging as an actress and being invisible altogether. She takes off her blonde wig to reveal her hair: an adorable close-cropped cut at least to me. Long hair is seen as more youthful, but I’ve always loved a jazzy short cut. I’m not an actress, but I will say this. Not being seen as attractive as you age is a very real fear, particularly after you have children. I don’t know this firsthand as I’m not a mother, but I like what Kerry Washington from Scandal recently had to say about going back to her pre-baby body in Self magazine after having her first baby about a year ago. “My body is the site of a miracle now. I don’t want to be pre-miracle.”
Finally, Kelly meets with college sweetheart Andre after he realizes his club introduction to his fiancée may not have been the best timed introduction. During their conversation, she asks him why she wasn’t the one after she thought he was the one. Deep. He couldn’t give her a clear, definitive answer except to say that he wasn’t ready to be married when they were together because he didn’t have a good job and blah, blah, blah. When he met his fiancée, he was in a different mindset with a good job. Over my years of being single, I noticed that again and again with men. They can date a slew of wonderful women who are all marriage material, but baby, if they are not ready, it’s best to keep it moving. Then all of a sudden, those men wake up one day and decide they are ready…I swear the next woman they date, who may not even be as wonderful as the women they previously dated, ends up being the one…So after the conversation is over, Kelly has to confront her fear of not finding love again after “The One” got away.
So there you have it: my recap of Season 1 Episode 4 of “Born Again Virgin.”
I liked this episode better than last week’s episode, but I’m still not feeling the characters the way I want to feel them. When I really love characters, whether on television or on film or in books, they feel real to me, like I’ve met them before or want to know them. I still see them as actors. I love the premise of the show because it is so counter cultural, but I need more depth to really immerse myself in their world. On the plus side, the women look like friends and are adorable.
I love my life now, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that the ’90s was one of the best times of my life. I graduated from high school, went away to college and got my first real job with benefits and erethang as a young adult in the ’90s. One of my favorite things about the ’90s was the R&B music that was the soundtrack of my life at that time…particularly, the girl groups that sang about everything I was going through…Groups like En Vogue, Xscape, Brownstone, Total, Zhané, Kut Klose, Jade and my absolute FAVORITE SWV…When I was in college, one of my girl friends, who has since passed away, and I used to bump the “Weak” remix all through the A in her pink and white Geo Tracker jeep especially during Freaknik! And you know we had to have the top down to flex, be cute in some Daisy Dukes and bump that bass, babee…
Below is that version of the SWV jam “Weak,” if you haven’t been blessed to hear it…
When I was really into a dude, this song was sho on repeat…
So when I heard that Cheryl “Coko” Clemons of SWV had a new radio show “The Coko and Cory Radio Show,” I knew now was my opportunity to interview a member of one of the greatest girl groups of all times!!! Check our interview below…
It was presented to me actually. Something that Cory [SWV’s manager] had worked on for some years. We were supposed to do it like two years ago, but we became so busy. Then obviously, we kind of fell out a little bit, but then we made up and everything, and the offer was still there. So we went and did a test run first, and they loved it! From there, it just became permanent so now we’re on every Saturday, and it’s catching on. Everybody really likes it. The owner of the radio station he loves it. We’re on from 12 p.m. to 2 p.m. We were on from 4-6, but we were moved up! We’re on 38 stations. You can find us on musicalsoulfood.com or Rejoice 100.9.
2. There are a lot of artists out there that have radio shows like Donnie McClurkin, Yolanda Adams, etc. What do you hope to bring to the table that other people aren’t bringing to the table right now?
We’re on a gospel station, but we’re more inspirational. We don’t just play gospel music on our show. If you have an inspirational message, we’ll play it. It’s not just gospel artists, it can be R&B artists. We try to say things that maybe the church folks are afraid to say. We call it an edgy show. That’s the difference between their shows and our show, we’re more edgy. We say things that they are not going to say. We say what you’re thinking. We’re not just sweet with it all of the time. Sometimes, I’m scared. I don’t know what Cory is going to say, but I’m like okay, bring it back in. Sometimes you go out there. If we go too far, they will let us know, but we haven’t gone too far yet, and people seem to love it. We talk about things that are going on in the church that people may not talk about. Like the pastor taking too many offerings. Sometimes, we do a question of the day like, ‘What about your church do you think you can improve?’ Like Cory said, ‘I went to a church, and it was just boring. The pastor put me to sleep.’ They not going to say that. It’s all in fun and love.
We’re looking to syndicate our show too. We’re working on that next so I hope that falls into place for us in the next few months. A lot of people are talking about the show so I’m excited about it.
And I understand that you also have interviews on the show?
Yes. This Saturday, we have Kelly Price & Keith Sweat. In past interviews, we’ve spoken to Shanice and Flex, Kindred the Family Soul. We have so many relationships so when I reach out, they are always like, “Yes.”
3. Is your reality show “SWV Reunited” coming back for Season 3?
I don’t think so. It’s reality TV so we had a good time if it doesn’t come back. (Laughter) We had a good time.
I did want to add that what you guys saw on the show, SWV, we really love each other. And we don’t fight nearly as much as they showed on TV. We barely fight. A lot of fans kind of got upset with us when they saw all of the fussing and the fighting. That’s not who we are. We actually love each other. We hold each other down, and our bond is really strong.
4. Speaking of SWV, are you on tour right now?
No, we’re not on tour, but we perform about 100 shows a year. We stay on the road, but it’s not a tour. We do like spot dates so every weekend we’re working. We’re going to Pennsylvania. We have two shows there. Not this weekend. We finally have a weekend off. So next weekend, that’s where we’ll be.
I know you grew up in a Christian household with your mother gospel artist Clyde “Lady Tibba” Gamble. How do you feel, I know at one point, you didn’t want to perform certain songs. What is your approach to performing with SWV now?
We perform all of our songs now. We do everything, and the fans like it because we haven’t done it in so many years. And that’s one thing the show doesn’t show. We do “Downtown.” “Can We.” We perform them all. The fans want to hear it so I give it to them.
5. Speaking of your mother. I’m a pastor’s daughter, and you know when I went away to college, that was my first time being out of the house just kind of doing my own thing. And obviously, you had a much bigger experience than that. How did you reconcile how you grew up with becoming a big star and I’m sure being introduced to a lot of different environments? How did you handle that?
I’m a pretty strong person so no one could convince me to do anything that I don’t want to do. And that’s actually for my whole group. We never drank. We never did any drugs. That’s not who we were as people. And I don’t remember even anybody trying to offer us to do that, you know what I mean. So we were blessed that no one even would ever approach us like that, and even if they did, I would have been like, “No,” because that’s just not who I am because I didn’t grow up around that. I don’t know that, and I don’t want to know that. I was pretty strong, and my mom was always there. She wasn’t always on the road, but we stayed in contact when I was on the road. My mother stayed praying for me so I was covered.
How did your mother feel about your music at the time, and how does she feel about it now?
Then and now, she didn’t like it. She never listened to it. She doesn’t listen to R& B music. And that’s fine because I know how my mom is. But she supported me in her own way, but as far as the music, no, she doesn’t like it.
At some point, you decided to rededicate your life to Christ. Is that what happened when you decided to do gospel music?
No, I don’t say rededicate because I never left. I just wanted to do some gospel music because that was my foundation, my roots, who I was. And I always wanted to do a gospel record so when the opportunity presented itself, I took it. I did two gospel records. I was always in church. When I would come home, I’m in church so it’s not like I left. A lot of my R&B friends. They sing R&B. but they still went to church. They still prayed. You know what I’m saying?
6. I know your husband, Mike “Big Mike” Clemons, was the drummer for SWV back in the day and is now the drummer for Grammy Award- winning Christian artist Israel Houghton and New Breed. How did y’all reconnect, and did you ever have any idea that back then that y’all would be married today?
Back in the day, no. We didn’t even like each other back in the day. We couldn’t stand one another. He was arrogant, and he thought I was mean. So we just clashed. But we reconnected at church. We were at a live recording at Love Fellowship International, Hezekiah Walker’s church. Kirby Brown, one of his ministers, he was recording. And he was there, and we just started talking and exchanged numbers. And it went on from there. We went on a date a couple of weeks later, and we just stayed together. We dated six months, and then we got married. Everybody thinks we were messing around back in the day, but we weren’t.
What’s your secret for staying married and keeping it together this long?
It just seems like all of a sudden, here we are 12 years later because everything has gone so fast. Communication is key. We try to talk about everything. We definitely don’t go to bed mad at each other. We had to learn that. And trust. You’ve got to trust them. You definitely have to trust them.
I know your husband lost 100 pounds and that you’ve had a tummy tuck. How do y’all maintain your weight? What are you doing?
Well, I don’t work out as much as he does because he can go two or three times a day, and that’s just not me. Because my hair is not going to hold up for that. For me, I try to watch what I eat. I’m on a strict diet. It drives me crazy because I want some fried chicken, some ice cream and cake, but I can’t have it. I do no carbs. I do fruit and meat and vegetables and water all day long. And that’s boring.
And I’ve heard you don’t like to cook either?
I hate cooking, but my husband and I, we, balance each other out because I hate to cook, and he is a great cook! And I mean, he can cook anything and make it up on his own, and it tastes great! And everyone that comes to our house for Thanksgiving, they look forward to him cooking. And it’s healthy cooking. And he fools people because if you tell them what they are eating, then they are going to be like, “Uh, this tastes nasty,” but if you don’t tell them, and they are eating it, then they are like, “This is good. Wow!”
7. I heard that you had a Twitter conflict with K. Michelle? I won’t get into the drama, but I mentioned it because I wanted to find out what artists do you like that are out there now.
Let’s be clear, I didn’t have a conflict. She had a problem. I did not.
But I love Jazmine Sullivan. I love Ledisi. I love Avery Sunshine. And I’m really digging this new artist Tink. She’s one of the new artists I really enjoy. She’s cute. I love Chris Brown. He can do no wrong in my eyes. Miguel. He’s another one that I’m crazy about.
Any girl groups that you like?
What girl groups are out? I wish there were more, but there aren’t so I created my own that I’m gonna put out soon. So I’m excited about that. The name of the group is TTYL. The Talented Young Ladies. There are three of them so everybody is going to compare them so SWV, but when I put them together, I wasn’t really thinking about SWV. But now I can kind of see what everybody thinks that they are like SWV. But they are not like SWV to me. They are from New York. We all went to church together, but now everybody lives in North Carolina. They are getting ready to go to college. They are like 17 and 18. They sing R&B music. We don’t have a date for them to come out, but they have some songs put up on Sound Cloud. They remade Xscape’s “Understanding” and they just killed it.
Well, Coko, that’s all I have! Thank you for your time! Is there anything you want to add?
1. Bill Cosby as Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable was once hailed as America’s favorite father, but as of this year, he has been knocked off of his pedestal, proving again the only perfect Father is Father God.
3. The obese nation that we are, Jared Fogle was an inspiration for countless Americans as he was able to lose 245 pounds and for the most part, keep it off. But the Subway guy in no way compares to the inspiration provided by the Holy Spirit if only we would seek His help.
