Posted on Thursday, August 20, 2015

Dying Alone & Other Single Lady Fears: ‘Born Again Virgin’ Season 1 Episode 4 Recap…

Hello World,

Remember the single lady who was dead alone in her London apartment for three years before anyone found her? Her body was so badly decomposed that she could only be identified by her dental records. Amazingly, when she was found, the television was still on…As a single lady, when I heard that story, I understood how such a tragedy could take place…I mean this is an extreme example, but if someone is not close to their parents or other family members and doesn’t speak to their friends every day and or out of work, I can see how someone could be dead and or injured for at least 2 to 3 days alone at home without anyone realizing that person is missing. So dying alone and not having anybody even notice was one of my fears when I was a single lady although my mama called too much to let that happen…

So that was a long introduction to last night’s episode of “Born Again Virgin.” The show was titled “Slaying Your Dragons” and was about the fears that ladies, particularly single ladies, have. The episode begins with Jenna and Tara debating which one of them is brave enough to kill a humongous bug that has landed on the refrigerator. Confession: One of the perks of being married is not having to be on bug duty anymore. Men totally get into being the protector of the home against evil forces including bugs 🙂 Anywho as the women are scared to even get near the bug, Kelly comes into the kitchen and promptly uses a high heel shoe to smash the bug right on the refrigerator!

In the next scene, Jenna is at a coffee shop when she overhears two women discussing one of their favorite bloggers, a woman who is chronicling her journey as a celibate single woman. Obviously, Jenna thinks the women are discussing her until she continues to listen to them and realizes that another blogger actually had the same idea that she had. Finally, Jenna cannot stand the suspense of waiting for them to reveal the identity of the other celibate blogger and crashes their conversation, asking the identity of the celibate blogger. When the women oblige and show her the celibate blogger’s website Chaste & Chill with Chelsea, she is shocked because she realizes that she knows Chelsea and had even discussed the idea of her blog with her when they worked together at a life and style magazine!

Meanwhile, Tara, the actress, is excited about auditioning for a new part as a teenager, particularly a “promiscuous young woman with Daddy issues” hence wearing a blonde wig styled into two ponytails. However, her ego is hurt when she discovers the director actually wants her to portray a mother in the production. That transition from being seen as a carefree, sexy single lady to being thought of as old enough to be someone’s mother when you are not is pretty scary. This realization happened to me when I started watching Empire…Check out my post “Why ‘Empire’ is Causing Me to Have a Midlife Crisis…” if you are interested in the specifics…

Kelly, the pr exec, is elated when she lands a huge account until her boss simultaneously praises and denigrates her! He tells her he is glad she is not married so that she can focus on her career and reveals that one of his fears is that someone will marry her and “put a baby in you” thereby decreasing her commitment to her job. Wow, the struggle is real for a woman who dares to have it all: a successful career, marriage and motherhood. Now, Kelly can no longer focus on her score at her job and instead focuses on the fact she has not scored so to speak in her personal life.

So what do single ladies do when suicide is not option and the “rainbow is enuf?” (My shout out to for colored girls who have considered suicide / when the rainbow is enuf by Ntozake Shange) Head to the club of course because as we all know a deejay can save your life (My shout out to the song Last Night a D.J. Saved My Life) Yes, as a woman of a particular age, my pop culture references go back to the ’70s and ’80s…hence my midlife crisis mentioned above…

While at the club, Jenna, who mistakenly took one of Tara’s valium pills instead of an aspirin she intended to take for her headache, is a complete mess. That mess is exacerbated when she runs into Chelsea, her blogger copycat. Instead of confronting Chelsea, who seems to be high on something as well, the women end up dancing together and making out while taking pictures of themselves to post on her social media accounts. During the girl on girl action, Chelsea reveals that she is not actually celibate and her blog is actually a lie. Tara attempts to ignore texts she receives from the production director as he is trying to convince her to take on the role of the mother. Worst of all, Kelly runs into an old boyfriend Andre, whom she broke up with, at the club. And not only does she run into him, he introduces her to his fiancée. Ouch. She attempts to forget about the run-in by dancing with another dude at the club. Her moves are impressive until she runs of the dance floor in tears as she is unable to dance away her heartbreak.

How does it all end? Because the show is only 30 minutes and has to wrap it pretty quickly.

The next day, Jenna discovers she has the video evidence to blow up her blogger copycat’s spot as she videotaped Chelsea’s confession without intending to do so. However, she doesn’t do so because she wants her blog to blow up on its own merit rather than by her tearing down other bloggers. Her fear (yes, back to the premise of this show) is that the risks she has taken in her career opting to be a blogger rather than having a traditional career won’t pay off. Somebody pass the offering plate because church was had in that moment…at least for me…

After shutting down the director’s requests to take the role of mother instead of the daughter, Tara decides to take the role thereby confronting her fear: aging as an actress and being invisible altogether. She takes off her blonde wig to reveal her hair: an adorable close-cropped cut at least to me. Long hair is seen as more youthful, but I’ve always loved a jazzy short cut. I’m not an actress, but I will say this. Not being seen as attractive as you age is a very real fear, particularly after you have children. I don’t know this firsthand as I’m not a mother, but I like what Kerry Washington from Scandal recently had to say about going back to her pre-baby body in Self magazine after having her first baby about a year ago. “My body is the site of a miracle now. I don’t want to be pre-miracle.”

Finally, Kelly meets with college sweetheart Andre after he realizes his club introduction to his fiancée may not have been the best timed introduction. During their conversation, she asks him why she wasn’t the one after she thought he was the one. Deep. He couldn’t give her a clear, definitive answer except to say that he wasn’t ready to be married when they were together because he didn’t have a good job and blah, blah, blah. When he met his fiancée, he was in a different mindset with a good job. Over my years of being single, I noticed that again and again with men. They can date a slew of wonderful women who are all marriage material, but baby, if they are not ready, it’s best to keep it moving. Then all of a sudden, those men wake up one day and decide they are ready…I swear the next woman they date, who may not even be as wonderful as the women they previously dated, ends up being the one…So after the conversation is over, Kelly has to confront her fear of not finding love again after “The One” got away.

So there you have it: my recap of Season 1 Episode 4 of “Born Again Virgin.”

I liked this episode better than last week’s episode, but I’m still not feeling the characters the way I want to feel them. When I really love characters, whether on television or on film or in books, they feel real to me, like I’ve met them before or want to know them. I still see them as actors. I love the premise of the show because it is so counter cultural, but I need more depth to really immerse myself in their world. On the plus side, the women look like friends and are adorable.

What do you think?

Any thoughts?

Posted on Friday, July 24, 2015

SWV’s Coko Talks About Her New Radio Show, Girl Group & How She & Her Hubby Maintain Their Weight Loss

Hello World,

I love my life now, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that the ’90s was one of the best times of my life. I graduated from high school, went away to college and got my first real job with benefits and erethang as a young adult in the ’90s. One of my favorite things about the ’90s was the R&B music that was the soundtrack of my life at that time…particularly, the girl groups that sang about everything I was going through…Groups like En Vogue, Xscape, Brownstone, Total, Zhané, Kut Klose, Jade and my absolute FAVORITE SWV…When I was in college, one of my girl friends, who has since passed away, and I used to bump the “Weak” remix all through the A in her pink and white Geo Tracker jeep especially during Freaknik! And you know we had to have the top down to flex, be cute in some Daisy Dukes and bump that bass, babee…

Below is that version of the SWV jam “Weak,” if you haven’t been blessed to hear it…

When I was really into a dude, this song was sho on repeat…

So when I heard that Cheryl “Coko” Clemons of SWV had a new radio show “The Coko and Cory Radio Show,” I knew now was my opportunity to interview a member of one of the greatest girl groups of all times!!! Check our interview below…

1. Why did you decide to do the “The Coko and Cory Radio Show” which debuted on June 6?

It was presented to me actually. Something that Cory [SWV’s manager] had worked on for some years. We were supposed to do it like two years ago, but we became so busy. Then obviously, we kind of fell out a little bit, but then we made up and everything, and the offer was still there. So we went and did a test run first, and they loved it! From there, it just became permanent so now we’re on every Saturday, and it’s catching on. Everybody really likes it. The owner of the radio station he loves it. We’re on from 12 p.m. to 2 p.m. We were on from 4-6, but we were moved up! We’re on 38 stations. You can find us on musicalsoulfood.com or Rejoice 100.9.

2. There are a lot of artists out there that have radio shows like Donnie McClurkin, Yolanda Adams, etc. What do you hope to bring to the table that other people aren’t bringing to the table right now?

We’re on a gospel station, but we’re more inspirational. We don’t just play gospel music on our show. If you have an inspirational message, we’ll play it. It’s not just gospel artists, it can be R&B artists. We try to say things that maybe the church folks are afraid to say. We call it an edgy show. That’s the difference between their shows and our show, we’re more edgy. We say things that they are not going to say. We say what you’re thinking. We’re not just sweet with it all of the time. Sometimes, I’m scared. I don’t know what Cory is going to say, but I’m like okay, bring it back in. Sometimes you go out there. If we go too far, they will let us know, but we haven’t gone too far yet, and people seem to love it. We talk about things that are going on in the church that people may not talk about. Like the pastor taking too many offerings. Sometimes, we do a question of the day like, ‘What about your church do you think you can improve?’ Like Cory said, ‘I went to a church, and it was just boring. The pastor put me to sleep.’ They not going to say that. It’s all in fun and love.

We’re looking to syndicate our show too. We’re working on that next so I hope that falls into place for us in the next few months. A lot of people are talking about the show so I’m excited about it.

And I understand that you also have interviews on the show?

Yes. This Saturday, we have Kelly Price & Keith Sweat. In past interviews, we’ve spoken to Shanice and Flex, Kindred the Family Soul. We have so many relationships so when I reach out, they are always like, “Yes.”

3. Is your reality show “SWV Reunited” coming back for Season 3?

I don’t think so. It’s reality TV so we had a good time if it doesn’t come back. (Laughter) We had a good time.

I did want to add that what you guys saw on the show, SWV, we really love each other. And we don’t fight nearly as much as they showed on TV. We barely fight. A lot of fans kind of got upset with us when they saw all of the fussing and the fighting. That’s not who we are. We actually love each other. We hold each other down, and our bond is really strong.

4. Speaking of SWV, are you on tour right now?

No, we’re not on tour, but we perform about 100 shows a year. We stay on the road, but it’s not a tour. We do like spot dates so every weekend we’re working. We’re going to Pennsylvania. We have two shows there. Not this weekend. We finally have a weekend off. So next weekend, that’s where we’ll be.

I know you grew up in a Christian household with your mother gospel artist Clyde “Lady Tibba” Gamble. How do you feel, I know at one point, you didn’t want to perform certain songs. What is your approach to performing with SWV now?

We perform all of our songs now. We do everything, and the fans like it because we haven’t done it in so many years. And that’s one thing the show doesn’t show. We do “Downtown.” “Can We.” We perform them all. The fans want to hear it so I give it to them.

5. Speaking of your mother. I’m a pastor’s daughter, and you know when I went away to college, that was my first time being out of the house just kind of doing my own thing. And obviously, you had a much bigger experience than that. How did you reconcile how you grew up with becoming a big star and I’m sure being introduced to a lot of different environments? How did you handle that?

I’m a pretty strong person so no one could convince me to do anything that I don’t want to do. And that’s actually for my whole group. We never drank. We never did any drugs. That’s not who we were as people. And I don’t remember even anybody trying to offer us to do that, you know what I mean. So we were blessed that no one even would ever approach us like that, and even if they did, I would have been like, “No,” because that’s just not who I am because I didn’t grow up around that. I don’t know that, and I don’t want to know that. I was pretty strong, and my mom was always there. She wasn’t always on the road, but we stayed in contact when I was on the road. My mother stayed praying for me so I was covered.

How did your mother feel about your music at the time, and how does she feel about it now?

Then and now, she didn’t like it. She never listened to it. She doesn’t listen to R& B music. And that’s fine because I know how my mom is. But she supported me in her own way, but as far as the music, no, she doesn’t like it.

At some point, you decided to rededicate your life to Christ. Is that what happened when you decided to do gospel music?

No, I don’t say rededicate because I never left. I just wanted to do some gospel music because that was my foundation, my roots, who I was. And I always wanted to do a gospel record so when the opportunity presented itself, I took it. I did two gospel records. I was always in church. When I would come home, I’m in church so it’s not like I left. A lot of my R&B friends. They sing R&B. but they still went to church. They still prayed. You know what I’m saying?

6. I know your husband, Mike “Big Mike” Clemons, was the drummer for SWV back in the day and is now the drummer for Grammy Award- winning Christian artist Israel Houghton and New Breed. How did y’all reconnect, and did you ever have any idea that back then that y’all would be married today?

Back in the day, no. We didn’t even like each other back in the day. We couldn’t stand one another. He was arrogant, and he thought I was mean. So we just clashed. But we reconnected at church. We were at a live recording at Love Fellowship International, Hezekiah Walker’s church. Kirby Brown, one of his ministers, he was recording. And he was there, and we just started talking and exchanged numbers. And it went on from there. We went on a date a couple of weeks later, and we just stayed together. We dated six months, and then we got married. Everybody thinks we were messing around back in the day, but we weren’t.

What’s your secret for staying married and keeping it together this long?

It just seems like all of a sudden, here we are 12 years later because everything has gone so fast. Communication is key. We try to talk about everything. We definitely don’t go to bed mad at each other. We had to learn that. And trust. You’ve got to trust them. You definitely have to trust them.

I know your husband lost 100 pounds and that you’ve had a tummy tuck. How do y’all maintain your weight? What are you doing?

Well, I don’t work out as much as he does because he can go two or three times a day, and that’s just not me. Because my hair is not going to hold up for that. For me, I try to watch what I eat. I’m on a strict diet. It drives me crazy because I want some fried chicken, some ice cream and cake, but I can’t have it. I do no carbs. I do fruit and meat and vegetables and water all day long. And that’s boring.

And I’ve heard you don’t like to cook either?

I hate cooking, but my husband and I, we, balance each other out because I hate to cook, and he is a great cook! And I mean, he can cook anything and make it up on his own, and it tastes great! And everyone that comes to our house for Thanksgiving, they look forward to him cooking. And it’s healthy cooking. And he fools people because if you tell them what they are eating, then they are going to be like, “Uh, this tastes nasty,” but if you don’t tell them, and they are eating it, then they are like, “This is good. Wow!”

7. I heard that you had a Twitter conflict with K. Michelle? I won’t get into the drama, but I mentioned it because I wanted to find out what artists do you like that are out there now.

Let’s be clear, I didn’t have a conflict. She had a problem. I did not.

But I love Jazmine Sullivan. I love Ledisi. I love Avery Sunshine. And I’m really digging this new artist Tink. She’s one of the new artists I really enjoy. She’s cute. I love Chris Brown. He can do no wrong in my eyes. Miguel. He’s another one that I’m crazy about.

Any girl groups that you like?

What girl groups are out? I wish there were more, but there aren’t so I created my own that I’m gonna put out soon. So I’m excited about that. The name of the group is TTYL. The Talented Young Ladies. There are three of them so everybody is going to compare them so SWV, but when I put them together, I wasn’t really thinking about SWV. But now I can kind of see what everybody thinks that they are like SWV. But they are not like SWV to me. They are from New York. We all went to church together, but now everybody lives in North Carolina. They are getting ready to go to college. They are like 17 and 18. They sing R&B music. We don’t have a date for them to come out, but they have some songs put up on Sound Cloud. They remade Xscape’s “Understanding” and they just killed it.

Well, Coko, that’s all I have! Thank you for your time! Is there anything you want to add?

Thank you to everyone for the love and support!

Any thoughts?

Posted on Monday, July 13, 2015

Russell Wilson & Ciara Are One of at Least 7 Celebrity Couples Who Chose Celibacy Before Marriage…

Read About Other Celebrity Couples Who Were Celibate Before Marriage in Today's Post...

Hello World,

Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson created headlines recently when he revealed in an interview with Pastor Miles McPherson from The Rock Church in San Diego, California that Wilson and his girlfriend, singer and dancer Ciara have opted to be celibate in their dating relationship of five to six months…

Below is an excerpt from the interview:

Wilson: I met this girl named Ciara, who is the most beautiful woman in the world. She’s the most kind person, the most engaging person. I could probably learn more from her … everything that I could ever want.

And so I’ll never forget: She was on tour, she was traveling, and I was looking at her in the mirror. I was sitting in the dressing room, and she was getting ready to go, about 15 minutes before she went onstage. And she was sitting there, and God spoke to me and said, ‘I need you to lead her.’ And I was like, ‘Really? Right now?’

He goes, ‘I want you and need you to lead her.’

So I told her right then and there, ‘What would you do if we took all that extra stuff off the table and just did it Jesus’ way?’

McPherson: Elaborate on what that means, because there’s a lot of people out here, their minds are going a whole lot of different places right now, and we wanna know.

Wilson: Yeah, we’re talking about sex.

For me, I knew that God had brought me into her life to bless her and for her to bless me and to bless so many people with the impact that she has, that I have. We’re not gonna be perfect, by any means. Life’s not perfect. Nobody’s perfect, but he’s anointed both of us, and I know that He’s calling for us to do something miraculous, something special.

I said to her, and she completely agreed: ‘Could we love each other without that?’ If you can really love somebody without that, then you can really love somebody.

Below is the video if you want to see for yourself.

But Russell Wilson & Ciara aren’t the only celebrity couple who opted for celibacy before marriage…

2. DeVon Franklin & Meagan Good

DeVon Franklin, vice president of production for Columbia Pictures and author “Produced By Faith: Enjoy Real Success Without Losing Your True Self and actress Meagan Good, who got married on June 16, 2012, were celibate for 10 months, according to a The Christian Post interview. The couple have written a book about their celibate courtship, “The Wait,” which comes out in February 2016, according to Franklin’s Facebook page. In fact, Franklin, who is also a minister, revealed in a GlobalGrind.com interview that he was celibate for 10 YEARS before he married Good.

Franklin said in a GlobalGrind.com interview: The thing I couldn’t do which was eating me apart, going back to this idea of being whoever God created you to be. Sometimes we want to be this person at home, this person in the office, this person at church and then we get our lines mixed up. And trying to be different people to different situations, it tears you apart. So what was happening with me is that I would go and preach one thing but then I was living another, and I could not do it. I could not look at myself in the mirror. I’m like, no, I can’t live like this, so I had to stop and say, ‘You know what, until I get married, [sex is] off the table.’

3. Adam Housley & Tamera Mowry

Adam Housley, who is a senior correspondent for Fox News, and Tamera Mowry, co-host on “The Real” talk show, dated for approximately six years who before they got married on May 15, 2011. Mowry has revealed that they waited three years before becoming intimate, but she opted to become “re-virginized” and be celibate again for three additional years before they got married. She recently gave birth to their second child Ariah Talea on July 1!

Mowry said in a YBF interview: We actually didn’t wait before we got married to be intimate…but we did wait 3 years. (The two have been together for 6 years). I wanted to do what felt right for me. I became re-virginized. It’s something that just felt right for me. It was just a personal choice. And even after being intimate, we decided as a couple to be celibate until the wedding.

4. Courtney B. Vance & Angela Bassett

Actors Courtney B. Vance and Angela Bassett got married on October 17, 1997 after they began dating in 1996. They wrote about their love for one another in their book Friends: A Love Story.

Vance in their book: Don’t be ashamed to save yourself sexually for the person you’re going to marry. When you’re dating, it can be helpful to communicate a standard message up front: ‘I just want to be clear that I’m saving myself for my husband (or wife), so there’s not going to be any sex. I’m not even going to think about it. So let’s just get to know each other.’ You’ll know that if the person sticks around, they like you for who you are, rather than thinking they’re going to get sex from you.”

5. Rev. Wilbert Floyd & Cee Cee Michaela Floyd

Cee Cee Michaela Floyd, who was once a star on the UPN hit comedy “Girlfriends” and is now a minister, was celibate for 10 years and 9 months before marrying Rev. Wilbert Floyd on Feb. 20, 2011. I interviewed her in my book After the Altar Call: The Sisters’ Guide to Developing a Personal Relationship With God

Michaela Floyd: I remember I was on an airplane, and I was reading a book. I can’t remember what the name was, but in this book was one of the scriptures out of Psalms―that verse that says you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Oh my God, that really blessed me. As simple as that was, I had never heard anything like it. This is so much bigger than your parents just having a baby. Before you were in your mother’s womb, God had a purpose for you. I realized I didn’t want to take my body parts and use them for anything because I was literally made by God. I can’t just walk around and let folks dabble with my makeup. You know what I’m saying? And that is when I made my vow to be abstinent until I got married.

Two other celebrity couples were also celibate before they got married. Unfortunately, they have since divorced:

There are some single celebrities who have opted to practice celibacy as well:

Obviously, celibacy before marriage is God’s standard according to the Bible, but do you think celibacy is practical in today’s times? What do you think about the decision of Russell Wilsonn & Ciara to be celibate? Is it harder for celebrities to be celibate?

Any thoughts?