Posted on Sunday, January 5, 2014

Mama Joyce Gets Us Straight…And Steps Back…And Keeps Stepping…(MY INTERVIEW)

Hello World,

I’m a reluctant “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” fan…By that, I mean I sometimes criticize myself for being among the legions of viewers in Atlanta and beyond that tune in each week to be a voyeur in the not-so-real world of Atlantan housewives…first off…some of them aren’t even wives…and secondly…some of the hullabaloo that the “housewives” cause from week to week are not truly representative of Atlanta…at least the Atlanta that I grew up in and live in today…But the show is so thoroughly entertaining that 8 p.m. every Sunday night I tune in to see the housewives’ high jinks and laugh while my husband comes into our bedroom periodically to scold me for watching…

However, this season has unearthed a storyline that seems to be real and maybe even valuable….Mama Joyce (Joyce Jones), the 64-year-old mother of Kandi Burruss, former Xscape songstress and current song-writing millionaire (among her many profitable business pursuits), CANNOT STAND Kandi’s fiance’ Todd Tucker, a production manager, and has demonstrated so – from starting a fight with Kandi’s friend and assistant Carmon Cambrice after accusing her of messing around with Todd and hanging around Kandi only to get her scraps – weave and otherwise to getting up in Todd’s face and telling him she’s watching him when Kandi leaves the room in another episode…it all makes for hilarious television, but beyond all of that, I think it demonstrates why many rich and not-so-rich single women sometimes find themselves with no man to marry…the expectations of their families and friends….

Mama Joyce’s main complaint about Todd is that he is not financially at the same level as Kandi and is therefore, potentially, an “opportunist.” I interviewed Mama Joyce on Friday and we discussed why she is wary of Todd and his relationship with her daughter, how she intends to address the situation going forward and dispel any misconceptions that fans may have after watching all of this play out in front of us…

On Why Mama Joyce Thinks She They Shouldn’t Have Met and Dated in the First Place:

I don’t know him. I just know he did work for Bravo. I don’t believe in mixing work with pleasure. And had I been Phaedra, I would have never introduced Kandi to one of the guys that work there, especially if he’s going to have to stop working. He could no longer work on the same show so he’s not working with them.

On What Her Generation of Women Expect From A Man:

I just feel at a certain age, a man should be at a certain level in their career. What he was doing for himself and his career was fine for him, but at Kandi’s status, I just feel like that was not for her…

On What Kandi Is Not Doing for Her:

A lot of people have it turned around. I’m not worried about Kandi’s money. I mean when it comes to me. A lot of people are saying Kandi takes care of me. I have always been able to take care of myself.

On What Was Misconstrued On The Show:

That part about my picture and all that, [Bravo] completely turned that around. I was not talking about my pictures. When you come from Kandi’s garage, the first thing you can see is a wall of pictures. It’s all pictures of Todd when he was a little boy. And when I walked in, I said, “Now, that’s a shame.” I call it the “wall of shame.” I said, “Why in the world would you have his pictures up right there when you first walk in, when you should have [her granddaughter] Riley’s pictures up from when she was a baby, all her school pictures and all that?” But see [Bravo] didn’t show that! And I said it!

They wouldn’t even show all these pictures of him when he was a little boy… I said the only picture you have of Riley and me is next the floorboard. It’s a picture of me with Riley when she was a baby…I said, “Now what you think Riley thinks when comes in every day from school and the first thing she looks at is pictures of Todd when he was a baby?”

On If She Enjoys Being Featured on RHOA:

I did up until up until this year.

On Her Decision To No Longer Be a Part of Kandi’s Relationship With Todd:

At this time, I have stepped back. I am no longer a part of the equation. I want Kandi to be happy because I love my daughter more than I love myself. I just want her to be happy. If he makes her happy, well then, that’s all that matters. But the main thing I just want people to know, I’m not concerned about myself, I’m just concerned about her and my granddaughter. I don’t want nobody to take advantage of her goodness. I don’t want nobody just to be with her just because of what she has. I want somebody to be with her because she is a good person and that they come in as partners and can build together…

On If Kandi & Todd Do Marry:

If they invite me [to the wedding], I will be there.

Final Words:

I pray and hope that I am wrong. God knows that I hope I am so wrong about him. And I will be the first person in the world to apologize. I will apologize on TV, I will apologize on the media, I will apologize to the world. I am wrong about this man. I am sorry, and he has my humble apology because he is a good man. He is doing what he is supposed to do, and I will eat crow!

Mama Joyce, and I spoke for about 30 minutes, and I was able to get to know her a bit beyond what has been seen recently…I hope she does take a step back because I think that if Kandi is making a mistake, it’s her mistake to make as an adult…And I told her so, and she agreed…

My question for you is: Do you think that if a woman has more money, degrees, influence, etc. than a man she shouldn’t marry him?

Any thoughts?

P.S. Thank you to the Tara Thomas Agency for scheduling the interview…

Posted on Sunday, November 24, 2013

Three The White Way – Why Three of the Black Male Actors in ‘The Best Man Holiday’ Married White Women…

Hello World,

The ’90s were the golden age of black cinema…Let me hit you with just a few — “House Party” (1990) “Boyz in the Hood” (1991), “New Jack City” (1991), “Juice” (1992), “Menace to Society” (1993),”Jason’s Lyric” (1993) “Friday” (1995), “Above the Rim” (1995), “Waiting to Exhale” (1995), “Love Jones” (1997) and “The Best Man” in 1999…Although during the ’90s, I was a poor high school and college student and later a brand new journalist, a considerable portion of my non-existent budget was spent seeing these pop culture classics…

I think that’s why so many of us who came of age in this golden age of black cinema bombarded the box office last weekend, making “The Best Man Holiday,” the sequel to “The Best Man” rank second during its opening weekend, earning just over $30 million to the surprise of Hollywood…When we met Harper, Jordan, Lance, Julian, Quentin, Robin, Mia, Shelby and Candy in 1999, many of us where right where they were…We were recent college graduates and newly minted professionals…Many of us were getting married or watching our boys and girls from college days become other people’s husbands and wives…I identified the most with Jordan…I was more excited about nurturing a career than nurturing relationships and was often shocked when I watched my male buddies that I once had in abundance get married…

So when I started hearing the rumblings about a sequel to “The Best Man” a couple of years ago, I knew I would be among the first seeing just what happened to these beloved characters over the years…And my high expectations were exceeded! Dare I say “The Best Man Holiday” was better than the original! And like, that never happens! Can you name any other sequel that was better than the original?! I can’t. At least right now. Let me know if I’m wrong. These characters became even more rich with time, wisdom, hilarity and — tragedy. As in real life, when you are young, you live in a bubble in which life makes sense and your parents are always there to nurse your boo boos. After you’ve been an adult for a while, you realize that life, while beautiful, is less than sensible and some hurts never truly heal…I won’t spoil the movie because I still want others to see it…But I now consider it a classic…A definite must-see…

However, in spite of this movie’s brilliance, there have been unfortunate efforts to diminish this movie’s shine…And I just don’t get it…but I will write about it…We’ve all heard about USA Today and it’s “race-themed” commentary on the movie’s success..Also, the next day after I saw the movie last Saturday, I saw a Facebook post by one of my friends in which he noted that three of the four lead actors in the movie have been or are married to white women…As if to say, that the black on black love that we saw in the movie was just movie magic, hardly a depiction of real life…Okay, so you know what I’m talking about – Taye Diggs, who plays Harper, is married to Idina Menzel, who is white. Harold Perrineau who plays Julian, is married to Brittany Perrineau, who is white. Terrance Howard, who plays Quentin, has been married to white women…So what, I say?!! I didn’t watch a movie about Taye Diggs, Harold Perrineau and Terrance Howard! I’m watched a movie about Harper, Julian and Quentin….And yes, in real life, some black men marry white women, but I will not fall for the okey doke and not speak well of the movie because some of its actors didn’t marry women that look like me…And furthermore, there is nothing wrong with interracial relationships…So they married outside of the black race, but they didn’t marry outside of the human race!!!

And now let me address the Taye Diggs issue…Over the years, I have read that Taye Diggs has an issue with black women…I don’t know if this is true or not as I’ve never spoken to the man, but I am aware of the rumor…And yesterday, I read an article someone posted on Facebook about how Taye Diggs was happy to get back to his white wife after being with all of those black women on the set of “The Best Man Holiday.” And now, I’ve seen Facebook posts in which people declared they will no longer support Taye Diggs nor the movie. Maybe it’s because I’m a journalist that I know that first you have to consider the source…I have seen no mention of this statement from any reputable news outlet. Secondly, seeing a movie is not a sweeping endorsement of the every single life choice or belief of every actor in a movie. Thirdly, while I am no conspiracy theorist, I do believe there are forces at work that try to tear down legitimate successes…just who released this supposed story about Taye Diggs and why? Just something to ponder…

If you want to see a great movie with multidimensional characters that manage to touch every emotion on the spectrum, see “The Best Man Holiday.” And for those who want to get into Black Power arguments, have several seats (at the movies) at “12 Years a Slave,” which is the proper forum for this kind of conversation…

In sum, support.black.cinema.

Any thoughts?

P.S. Just a snippet of the fine black men in the movie…

Posted on Sunday, November 3, 2013

Preachers of L.A. : Sayin’ It Like I Mean It…

Hello World,

I must confess when I started hearing about the new reality show “Preachers of L.A.” earlier this year, I thought “here we go.” Don’t get me wrong. I’m a fan of reality shows. I started watching MTV’s “The Real World,” the first official reality show in college and even considered auditioning to be on the show. But back then, although the show had it’s fair share of likely contrived drama, the show did seem to be a realistic and sometimes even poignant portrayal of the lives of people you would probably never meet. I remember being particularly struck by Pedro Zamora, who revealed that he was living with AIDS. At that time, I had never met someone (as far as I know) that was living with AIDS and his inclusion in the show gave me an opportunity to see someone living and coping with the disease.

But now, chile please, reality shows seem to be scripted, over-the-top, spectacles designed to either launch of the pop culture career of some fame addict or revive the career of people who may be talented but have lost their platforms for whatever reason. But let me not be a hypocrite. Trust and believe I will be watching the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” when season 6 premieres tonight! (Is Todd an opportunist or is he really the one?)

But when gospel artists and other Christians began diving into the swamp of reality programming, I was giving them the side-eye but watching to see what happened. I like Mary Mary’s reality show. They are bonafide celebrities without the show, and their fans are able to see the women behind the award-winning gospel duo. I gave the “The Sisterhood,” which featured preachers wives from Atlanta, a chance, but the fact that some of them weren’t technically First Ladies and some of the crazy things that were said on the show made me stop watching after a few episodes. I guess I wasn’t the only one because the show was canceled. I never watched “Preachers’ Daughters” because I have been a preachers’ daughter for as long as I can remember so I don’t need to see that on television. Is that show still on?

If you’ve noticed, all the reality shows I’ve mentioned above thus far have featured Christian women, and that is to be expected. I bet women are the main target audience of most reality programming anyway. And let’s be real. Women, we can be really messy, and we like some mess too! I’m sure that when I get to heaven, I will no longer like gossip, but right now, I’m praying to be freed from the gossip demon! LOL! And it sure don’t help that I’m a reporter by trade! I never expected men of God to get involved in this mess! My husband can’t stand that I watch the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” and even refuses to be in the room when I do. So when I heard about the “Preachers of L.A.,” I was like, “Really, men of God, really?”

So now that the show has been on for a month, I must confess I have watched every episode. And now, I feel I am capable to giving an informed opinion about the latest “reality” offering. I must saying watching a reality show about the life of someone is kinda like being their friend on Facebook. Either you’re opinion of that person will get better or worse, but it won’t stay the same. Prior to the show, I was somewhat familiar with three of the preachers – Bishop Clarence McClendon, Pastor Deitrick Haddon and Bishop Noel Jones.

Here is my opinion of them now:

Bishop Clarence McClendon – I ‘ve really only seen Bishop McClendon as I was flipping through channels either late at night or early in the morning. I’ve never stopped to listen to any of his sermons. He seemed to flashy for my taste. I prefer a more humble looking pastor. Not that you have to have holes in your shoes or anything, but I don’t…something about the flashy look screams salesman. And based on at least one episode where he was arguing with Dietrick Haddon about not going agreeing to speak at churches that couldn’t afford to pay him and accommodate his entourage, my five-second appraisal seems to be right.

Pastor Dietrick Haddon – First of all, this man can blow. Period. The End. No doubt about it. But I must confess, I like him a little bit less after watching the show. I like the way he challenges the other preachers – like the time he challenged Bishop Ron Gibson to show him where the Bible states that “no shacking” is allowed in defense of him considering living with his then fiancee Dominique. But dude is waaaay too emotional for my taste…I’m like “that down a thousand” every.single.episode. But his over-the-top emotionality is not a testament to his character or anything…He actually seems to be refreshingly real about all the contradictions that Christians deal with from time to time living in this fallen world…he just couldn’t be my man with all of that goin’ on…

Bishop Noel Jones – I saw Bishop Noel Jones speak for several nights as the featured speaker at 98th Hampton University Ministers’ Conference in Hampton, Virginia. To say this man is not a enthralling speaker would be wrong. I was captivated every night. But he is coming off too “single and ready to mingle” on the show for me. The woman that he could be dating is Loretta, who is also a business partner. But their relationship is not defined on the show. She is just there. He is cool with her but that’s about it. I went to therapy behind men like that. They cool with me. They just didn’t want to define their relationship with me. We just kickin’ it. Please. In the words of Sweet Brown, “ain’t nobody got time for that!”

Pastor Jay Haizlip – First of all, he is just as cute as he wants to be 🙂 He is a little flashy too with his perfectly coiffed hair and slim fit jeans, but somehow, his image doesn’t rub me the wrong way. Plus, he seems to be a really nice guy. I liked his interaction with the woman in the park who appeared to be an anorexic in crisis. His relationship with his wife also seems to be very genuine. But he’s probably too boring to be featured on the show very much….sad to say…

Bishop Ron Gibson – He’s actually my favorite preacher thus far. I like his Magnum P.I. mustache, but more importantly, I like the way that he continues to reach out to the hood where he came from. The episode in which he brought two O.G.s to a shoe store to try on some church shoes was really nice. (Did he actually buy them shoes though?) And I like the way he is trying to help his sister who is a drug addict. Now, his wife Christy, however, likes to get stuff started. Did y’all see the episode where they had the tea party and invited Bishop Noel Jones’ girlfriend I mean “friend” I mean business partner I mean…I don’t even know what I mean…She know she just wanted to get in their business….

Pastor Wayne Chaney – Hmmm…I don’t what to say about him because he really hasn’t been on the show very much at this point. His wife seems nice, and she is pretty. Her blossoming friendship with First Lady Christy seems to be genuine…I guess more will be revealed…

Did y’all see them on Arsenio last week…Arsenio challenged them to a “Preach Off.” No judgment, but I just cannot imagine my father or Dr. Charles Stanley (my second favorite pastor) taking part in a “Preach Off” not even even when they were younger…Maybe I’m wrong, but I just can’t see it… If you haven’t seen the video, take a look…