Category Archives: Culture

Posted on

‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ Author Joshua Harris Announces Separation From His Wife Following Reevaluation of His Popular Book…

UPDATE: Joshua Harris Announces He is No Longer a Christian on Instagram...

Hello World,

Somehow or another, I heard of the book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris around the time it was published in 1997. In 1997, I was a newly minted adult having earned a college degree a year earlier. As someone who managed to get through puberty in part due to Molly Ringwald movies, kissing was something I’d looked forward to for a long time and no book that said the Bible said that kissing and dating were wrong was going to deter me…

And yet as the daughter of a pastor and as a young woman who recommitted to my faith following college graduation, I pondered if what Joshua Harris wrote in his book was actually true. Was courtship (which includes the parentals and is leading to marriage at the outset) and not dating the Christian way to mingle while single? Was kissing crossing the line?

Somehow or another, I decided even after I recommitted to my faith that despite the fact that his book was a runaway bestseller and the fact that I had met a few single Christian guys who advocated courtship (weirdos in retrospect), it was rubbish. But on the other hand, I had read the verse about fleeing fornication and another verse about being modest as a Christian woman and still another about not awakening love until it is time and I wondered if I was just being “in my flesh” as some Christians say.

But as I’ve always questioned authority, I decided over numerous conversations with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit that my relationship with the triune God (the three parts of God) would have to govern my actions in mating, dating and relating. And still, if you date more than a few years, about 20 in my case including high school, you start to wonder if maybe those folks who didn’t kiss before their wedding day and courted and got married right around puberty or right after college were right after all. I’m not writing all of this to say that I take any pleasure in the fact that Joshua Harris recently announced via Instagram that he and his wife have separated…

Because as a married woman of nearly six years, I know this must have been a heartbreaking decision to make. But I am writing this to say that with the insight of age and hindsight, some of these extreme views on how to conduct yourself while dating as a Christian can really stunt your growth as a relational person in general. (And please know that I don’t know why Joshua and his wife are separating nor am I speculating as to why…) And I think “groupthink” galvanized by a book or whatever the medium doesn’t take into account a person’s individuality. I think each person, according to his or her relationship with God and the counsel of wise friends, associates, books including the Bible, etc., has to figure this thang out. For example, we all know that Christians are supposed to flee fornication prior to marriage but what does that look like at 40 years old versus 20 years old? Now, I know why many up and got married at 21. Sex, basically. And I’m not even saying that is wrong in each and every case. But what happens when for whatever reason, marriage doesn’t happen until later in life?

Somehow I missed the news that Joshua came to the same or at least a similar conclusion that I did. Below is a portion of his statement about his book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.”

While I stand by my book’s call to sincerely love others, my thinking has changed significantly in the past twenty years. I no longer agree with its central idea that dating should be avoided. I now think dating can be a healthy part of a person developing relationally and learning the qualities that matter most in a partner. I recommend books like Boundaries in Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud and True Love Dates by Debra Fileta, which encourage healthy dating.

There are other weaknesses too: in an effort to set a high standard, the book emphasized practices (not dating, not kissing before marriage) and concepts (giving your heart away) that are not in the Bible. In trying to warn people of the potential pitfalls of dating, it instilled fear for some—fear of making mistakes or having their heart broken. The book also gave some the impression that a certain methodology of relationships would deliver a happy ever-after ending—a great marriage, a great sex life—even though this is not promised by scripture.

I’m glad that he referenced Dr. Cloud’s book “Boundaries in Dating” because his book helped me a lot while I was dating. His views made sense to me as a grown woman dating and I encourage any person who wants to have a balanced, Christian approach to dating to read his book. Apparently, Joshua made a documentary regarding his reevaluation of his book and ultimately decided to discontinue its publication with the approval of his publisher. (Below is the trailer for the movie.)

You have to respect that. As has been said, when you know better, you do better. His book and the purity culture that sprang up around that same time had good intentions I’m certain and I do believe that some may have benefited from these ideas, but I don’t think that it helps anyone to say adhering to a certain set of beliefs will work the same for everyone. We come from God alone and we return to Him alone and that individual journey must be respected. Am I making sense?

Anywho, Slate has an excellent article about Joshua Harris and what had happened…

AND this as well:

 

View this post on Instagram

 

My heart is full of gratitude. I wish you could see all the messages people sent me after the announcement of my divorce. They are expressions of love though they are saddened or even strongly disapprove of the decision.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I am learning that no group has the market cornered on grace. This week I’ve received grace from Christians, atheists, evangelicals, exvangelicals, straight people, LGBTQ people, and everyone in-between. Of course there have also been strong words of rebuke from religious people. While not always pleasant, I know they are seeking to love me. (There have also been spiteful, hateful comments that angered and hurt me.)⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ The information that was left out of our announcement is that I have undergone a massive shift in regard to my faith in Jesus. The popular phrase for this is “deconstruction,” the biblical phrase is “falling away.” By all the measurements that I have for defining a Christian, I am not a Christian. Many people tell me that there is a different way to practice faith and I want to remain open to this, but I’m not there now.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Martin Luther said that the entire life of believers should be repentance. There’s beauty in that sentiment regardless of your view of God. I have lived in repentance for the past several years—repenting of my self-righteousness, my fear-based approach to life, the teaching of my books, my views of women in the church, and my approach to parenting to name a few. But I specifically want to add to this list now: to the LGBTQ+ community, I want to say that I am sorry for the views that I taught in my books and as a pastor regarding sexuality. I regret standing against marriage equality, for not affirming you and your place in the church, and for any ways that my writing and speaking contributed to a culture of exclusion and bigotry. I hope you can forgive me.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ To my Christians friends, I am grateful for your prayers. Don’t take it personally if I don’t immediately return calls. I can’t join in your mourning. I don’t view this moment negatively. I feel very much alive, and awake, and surprisingly hopeful. I believe with my sister Julian that, “All shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”

A post shared by Joshua Harris (@harrisjosh) on

 

 

Any thoughts?

Posted on

DeVon Franklin to Produce Gospel Music Star Kirk Franklin Biopic, Asking For Suggestions For Who Should Play Kirk!

Hello World,

Kirk Franklin is one of my favorite gospel music artists of all time! His music, testimony and the way he lives out his faith has encouraged me despite the street preacher’s recent rebuke of Kirk Franklin outside of his Long Live Love tour performance in Jacksonville, Florida. (After the rebuke, Kirk met up with the street preacher to discuss their differences which is another reason why I think Kirk is a messenger from God. I’m not sure that other gospel artists would have engaged the street preacher in the same way particularly after the man condemned him to hell and wouldn’t even shake his hand after Kirk extended his hand in peace…)

Due to Kirk’s innovation, reach and longevity in the gospel music industry coupled with his inspiring life story, Kirk Franklin is a biopic in the making. That’s why I was excited to find out from Deadline that his life story will be brought to the silver screen! From Deadline:

EXCLUSIVE: Sony is taking us to church with an upcoming biopic about multi-platinum gospel singer Kirk Franklin. The film, currently untitled, is being produced by former Sony exec DeVon Franklin via his Franklin Entertainment banner, while  Franklin will serve as an executive producer through his label Fo Yo Soul Entertainment.

Brian Ivie (The Drop Box ) has been tapped to write the film which will follow 14-time Grammy-winning artist from his humble beginning through his meteoric rise to fame as he changes the face of gospel music and battles his demons in the process. Ivie most recently wrote and directed the Emanuel, a documentary about the 2015 Charleston church mass shooting.

For more, go to Deadline.com.

Via his Facebook page, DeVon is asking who should play Kirk in the biopic?!!

While they do favor, rapper Plies is not a candidate, DeVon says! LOL

They sure do look like though, right? Somebody suggested Kevin Hart. Well, they have their height in common although Kirk is reportedly one inch taller than Kevin at 5’5.

But via his Instragram page, Christian actor Jorel Quinn says he can do Kirk justice and I have to agree…

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Someone said there’s a biopic on @kirkfranklin in the works, produced by @devonfranklin 😌 💡 💭 🙏🏾🙋🏾‍♂️

A post shared by Jor él Quinn (@jorelquinn) on

What y’all think? Can Jorel be Kirk in the untitled biopic?

So if you have a casting suggestion for Kirk Franklin, hit up DeVon and Kirk up on their social media @DeVonFranklin & @KirkFranklin. They may just take you up on your suggestion!

Any thoughts?

 

Posted on

Christians Form Political Advocacy Group to Honor Black Woman & Civil Rights Activist Fannie Lou Hamer…

 

Hello World,

In general I don’t cover politics on this blog, but every once in a while, I feel compelled to do so. When I heard that a new political organization was formed to honor the legacy of Fannie Lou Hamer, I thought it deserved coverage.  As I hope that readers of varied political ideologies find their way to After the Altar Call, I also hope that we can all appreciate new ways of looking at political issues. With that being said, below is my interview with attorney and political strategist Justin Giboney, one of the leaders of the newly formed Hamer Democrats…

1. You are one of the founders of the AND Campaign. What is the difference between the AND Campaign and Hamer Democrats?

The AND Campaign is a formal organization that, among other things, seeks to raise civic literacy among Christians and help them frame the issues based on a biblical worldview rather than a perspective that’s primarily partisan or ideological. Hamer Democrats is just a concept. It’s the application of the AND Campaign’s gospel-centered framework for Christian who are center left sociopolitically. AND is not a partisan organization, so we also have a few Republicans who are associated with AND working on a similar concept for the political right.

2. Why did you feel it necessary to form Hamer Democrats at this time? And why did you choose to align with Democrats since you are critical of both major political parties?

Hamer Democrats is important because a lot of Christian are allowing their political affiliations to become religious in nature and part of their identity. Consequently, you see Christians changing their opinion on moral issues based on the ever-growing extremes of their party. For instance, very few African-Americans consider themselves to be liberal (especially African-American Christians); however, it’s almost impossible to name one African-American federal elected official, who’s a Democrat, that’s willing to speak up against late-term abortions or some of the extreme policy we’re seeing when it comes to gender identity. That’s by design and it’s a miscarriage of democracy. Many of our representative aren’t really representing their constituencies. They’re representing progressive interest groups.

We don’t think Christians participating in partisan politics is a bad thing, but the party shouldn’t dictate your opinions and certainly shouldn’t cause you to take a position that’s in conflict with Scripture. Hamer Democrats allows people to stay in their party, while separating their identity, and therefore, being able to check and question their party when necessary. There are a lot of people who feel homeless in politics right now – They’re too conservative for Democrats and too progressive for Republicans. Hamer Democrats and the Republican equivalent give them a place to land and engage with biblical fidelity. Instead of seeking for validation or favor from our parties.

I’m a Democrat because I still believe they represent the underserved and cast aside better than Republicans do today. I still vote Democrat the great majority of the time. That said, partisan affiliation doesn’t mean as much to me as it does to some. It’s just a general reference point. I don’t really believe in “party loyalty” and I will continue to call the party out and support Republicans who are doing the right thing.

3. How did you first learn of Fannie Lou Hamer and what drew you to her?

I first learned about Fannie Lou Hamer by reading about the Civil Rights Movement. The more I read about her, the more I had trouble understanding why she wasn’t talked about more often. She was an outstanding orator, a woman of faith and a committed Civil Rights leader in every sense of the word. She lived through the worst aspects of the Jim Crow era in ways that other Civil Rights Leaders were able to avoid. Most of all, she was able to commit to fighting for social justice, while being fully committed to moral order and other biblical values. Dr. CJ Rhodes, who pastors in Jackson, MS actually came up with the name Hamer Democrats. It was his brilliant idea. She connects so well with what AND is doing because she was biblical and didn’t apologize for not fully fitting into the progressive or conservative caricatures.
4. If Fannie Lou Hamer were alive today, what political causes would be she be championing and what political causes would she criticize?
From what I’ve read about her and her convictions, I think she’d still be championing voter rights and criminal justice. She’d be criticizing the ills of consumer capitalism and challenging the left’s pro-choice positions that make black life seem problematic and disposable.
5. You officially launched Hamer Democrats last month, what’s next on the agenda for this new organization? How can people support Hamer Democrats?
We’ll be hosting a series of talks (FB Chats) about the Hamer Democrats along with debate watch parties in different cities. People can join our Facebook page and connect with us through the AND Campaign’s mailing list and website. Stay tuned because there are a few other things that I can’t reveal at the moment. (See information below about a FB chat that will be held tomorrow!)

Christians have to address abortion differently, not as progressives or conservatives, but as believers who love our neighbors (&) protect human dignity. The AND Campaign calls us to a new narrative, upholding both the compassion (&) conviction of the gospel. We must be uniquely Pro-Woman (&) Pro-Child. #NewNarrative #ProWoman #ProChild Come join us for a Facebook Live Chat on Thursday, July 18 at 5:30PM EST.
Featuring: Kori Porter (AND Campaign Executive Leader), Cherilyn Holloway (Author/Director of Pregnancy Services), and Ifeoma Anunkor (Counselor)

6. What political candidates for president will be or are being supported by Hamer Democrats?
We won’t be endorsing a candidate.
7. What should Christians in any political party or no political party be doing right now leading into the presidential election and or local elections?
First, they should be getting informed about each candidate and the issues. They should be discussing it with their friends and church family in ways that are civil and constructive. It’s also important to support civic organizations who are speaking into that space and upholding a gospel-centered position.

For more information about Hamer Democrats, go to the Hamer Democrats Facebook page.

Any thoughts?